How would you handle this situation?

Wondering how you ladies deal with your man looking up other women that definitely don’t match your body type? Like that’s not even close to how I look so am I really not his type? I asked him and his reply was all guys look up dumb stuff. Not a good excuse for me. I should add that I could just be a bit overly emotional, there’s been cheating in the past and I’m very pregnant at the moment…it’s just very hurtful. Our sex life sucks but your over here searching for videos of other women. Idk what to do anymore.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you handle this situation? - Mamas Uncut

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Piss him off he is no good

All men look at other women. It’s healthy to have fantasies. Being upset that he looks at other women too is because of your own insecurities. Find confidence in yourself and entertain the thought of exploring new things with him. Don’t shame a guy for looking.

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I’m sorry but all men do this at one time or another especially when their wife is pregnant. Watch them with him. It might actually bring you guys closer than u think especially if your guys sex life sucks at the moment.

I can say even with a healthy sex life, My husband still watches porn and master bates. With that being said he doesn’t look up other women. Yes it’s human nature to look but looking up other women is different. I wouldn’t accept that at all.

He has cheated in the past AND ur sex life sucks … RUN!!

Sooo, he cheated on you in the past, your not married, so you get pregnant🤔

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Do you only like one food? Does that negate all other foods?

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Men r gonna be men. They gonna look at other women and vice versa. And men do like looking at porn at times.

So my man has the dad bod. But if I see a guy in uniform I going to look. As long as there is no sexting or touching I don’t see a problem.

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I think it’s disrespectful af🤷🏻‍♀️

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There’s been cheating in the past…

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I mean you’re not wrong for not liking it, but you don’t get to control the things he looks at. I completely understand it not feeling great especially with cheating in the past, but it is your own insecurities that are making you feel this way. (Unless he’s telling you he wants you to look like them or something) you don’t have to be okay with it and you don’t have to like it. But in the long run he’s going to look if he wants to. I’d recommend coming to terms with it and trying to feel okay with it

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There is a lot going on here. He cheated on you and your sex life is bad and he’s looking up other women and he knows it bothers you and he’s not stopping. Sounds like he doesn’t respect you at all. You can see if he is willing to go to couples therapy if that’s possible to try to see if things can change. I wouldn’t stay in that situation sounds miserable.

I def understand your feelings however I do think it’s harmless in many cases. Obviously I don’t know either of u personally but generally speaking looking is mostly just that. Now if it makes you feel insecure then talk to him about it and just be honest how it makes you feel and why. If it bothers you then he needs to be sensitive about it and consider your feelings especially given a history of him taking it to far and brings up a sort of PTSD for you emotionally. I’d also address u feel this way in part due to the lack of sex then find him looking at sexy pics of other women makes u take it personally that perhaps if u looked like those girls he may be more interested. It’s ok to feel any way at all. Try to talk it out and I’d also just ask him at bare minimum until pregnancy is behind you to plz be respectful and then revisit the convo once you have the head space and clarify to really sort your feelings without extra hormones. Good luck but just know you not alone. Many guys and girls look at pics of people they find attractive (body wise) and think wow they look good but would never consider a thought more than that! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It depends on how it makes u feel, we all know what we r and r not comfortable with in a relationship and everyone’s boundaries are different
Follow ur gut

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The fact that other women are laughing at her is disgusting.

Pray mama. Rest your soul in God’s hands. You are worthy of true love and you are beautiful. Sending love and peace your way… xoxo

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Don’t listen to some of these awful women. If it hurts you, it hurts you. If you consider this cheating in your relationship, then it is especially if you know he’s done it before. I would straight up say get your crap right or you’re moving on. Seriously. It’s not worth it. He is disrespecting you and people are saying it’s okay. IT IS NOT. just bc they are okay with their men sleeping around on them or looking at others doesn’t mean you have to be. It doesn’t mean you’re insecure either. He hurt you before. Your feelings are valid. But don’t for one moment let that man think he has control over you. Don’t let him think he gets to get away with it and keep you still. Your baby will grow up thinking this behavior is okay and then may even do this to their partners. Choose yourself and your baby and lose the man except to co parent.

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Attraction comes in many verities. Physical and emotional and empathic and in the form of a deep friendship. I imagine what you two have is a combination of all those things. Comparing yourself to other women and telling yourself you’re not to his standard, or I guess more questioning is really detrimental to your mental health, and the health of your relationship.

I can see why this is especially difficult while you’re pregnant and your body feels like someone else’s. Because right now it is. It is the home for the child that the two of you made together. It is strong and it is beautiful. And you should worship it. I pray that you see the beauty in it.

Personally I don’t find anything wrong with looking at videos. Nobody looks like that in real life really. And I can see why it would be hurtful considering that he is cheated on you in the past. However if that is something that you’ve decided to look past and continuing your relationship, you have to figure out for yourself how to do that without comparing yourself to other women. How to gain that trust from him. And those terms have to be held up by both of you.

I’m not sure I haven’t even left my house. But I do hope that this gave you different perspective, and that you can find peace. Good luck Mama!

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I have always been a plus sized woman and I’ve seen the women my husband looks at online, and I’m in the same boat. However, the type of men that catch my eye on purely physical sense don’t look like my husband. I think my husband is sexy as fuck, but he’s no Jensen Ackles. I don’t know if that helps you at all but that’s what made me stop feeling hurt whenever he mentioned a woman on tv or whatever was hot.

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Would it be okay if he looked at women with your body type? In the end I’d say throw the whole man out. If he cheated in the past he has no right to look at anyone if that’s a deal breaker in your relationship. Being knocked up doesn’t help either but it doesn’t mean you’re being irrational or insecure.

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They all do smh.

Idk a man that don’t creep any girl he comes across regardless of how it looks to his women. No shame in their game. Our feelings don’t matter in this situation what’s so ever !

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Men look and women look its ok to do

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It’s normal when you are pregnant to feel insecure even if it’s just a little, because our bodies change so fast and hormones are running crazy. Was the cheating with this man or do you mean your past in general?

It’s human nature to be attracted to other people. It all depends on if he acts on anything. You can’t tell me that you have never noticed another man. Not possible. We all do. Men and women. If he starts entertaining these women then you have a problem

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Your feelings are valid girl. If you’re not ok with it then you’re not ok with it. A lot of people are on here saying “you can’t control what he looks at” and while that may be so… he doesn’t have to PURPOSELY look up stuff. That’s a lot different than just passing a woman on the street and giving her a once over.

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Your feelings are yours and they are valid!! Maybe you’re a little overly emotional cuz you’re pregnant, and that’s ok. I personally don’t get bothered when I see my husband looking at another woman. The old saying goes “he can look at the menu all he wants cuz I know where he’s having dinner” :joy:

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Let him find pictures of guys that aren’t his body type in your phone and see how he likes it :woman_shrugging:

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I would tell him flat out the next time he does that shit you’re out. It’s not ok, it’s disrespectful & he does not care how it makes you feel. It needs to stop. If you were doing the same & gave his lame excuse to you, he’d wouldn’t like it one bit. Tell him that behavior is a major turn off for you & until it stops, no more bedroom action. I cannot stand stand men that treat women like this, pisses me off big time & they need to know that it is not allowed. Period. I wish you luck.

So you can’t control what he does. So you have to decide what you will and won’t tolerate for yourself. If you aren’t okay with it, then you need to leave. Because he’s already shown he doesn’t want to stop.

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Girl my man did this (minus cheating) and liked and commented on pictures. I sat him down and talked with him. I told him that look, I get I’m average at best on a good day and there’s always going to be more attractive women than me. I told him I get it, he’s probably going to glance at them and find them hot. However, I explained that I genuinely do not notice other men or women (I’m bi) when I’m in a relationship. I obviously register there’s a person there but I don’t find them attractive in the slightest and I don’t go out of my way to look. To me my partner is the most attractive person there is. I told him it hurts me a lot to see he actively searches these women out and will like and comment on photos especially since they look nothing like me at all. It makes me feel like he’s not really that into me and wants something different. I also told him I’m absolutely NOT okay with him checking out women on front of me. You have to communicate with him for him to understand and change his behavior

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Like porn ? If that’s the case … yes over emotionsl

Smh idc whether u have a kid or not once a cheater always a cheater n my book red flags

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I don’t deal with it. He gets left.

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So many women on here that think its " just what men do " … just bc they do it, doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. There’s boundaries that you need to set with him. If you’re uncomfortable with something and he refuses to stop, that just means that he doesn’t respect you or your feelings and there’s nothing to do but leave at that point. Women were taught that you let a man do what he wants and you’ll keep him. That’s false as fuck. How many women had a dudes baby thinking that would make him stay ? How many women let a man cheat and they stayed ? These types of women have zero respect for themselves to not sit that fool down and tell him what’s good or walk out.
Do what’s best for you, and if he doesn’t respect you, find one that will.

Disrespectful at the least, especially if u told him how u feel

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I’m with you, in the fact that I don’t like this either. Just like I don’t like when a guy checks another girl out in front of his girlfriend. That being said, it is possible for guys to not do it! My boyfriend has NEVER checked out another girl in front of me, and he doesn’t look at porn/girls online. You can find someone who respects those boundaries. You deserve that girl!:heart:

First: improve YOUR sex life. Do you own a personal adult toy?? Invite him to share. Maybe he needs some encouragement?? Then… counseling is recommended!!!

Relationships are all about boundaries and how they are respected. One person could be ok with their partner doing that, while someone else isn’t. You both have to be mutual with things. He clearly isn’t respecting your boundaries.

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We have a saying here in Australia
It doesn’t where he gets his appetite from
As long as he comes home for dinner

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can the flags that are red smack you hard enough now???
he cheated before…
now your having a baby, and bringing a baby into a TOXIC unhealthy relationship that most likely, NOT going to last…
now hes repeating the habits of cheating…

girl, wtf are you doing
go back home to moms or a friends and leave his ass, like tf

I feel like everyone gets curious & looks. But my concern would be being pregnant & there’s been cheating in the past. Not the greatest scenario.

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Well, I like looking at Jason Momoa but I’ve never been with anyone who looked like him. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: But seriously, maybe this is something you could talk about together with a counselor to find a solution/compromise.

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Very prego or not … you can still have a good sex life -
I’m sorry your man is looking at those pictures … Remind hi that you love hi enough to want to have his baby … :wink:

That’s a NOPE and a NEXT :blue_heart:

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My partner would never disrespect me like that…I’ve had exes that have but my now fiance never would

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If it bothers you and he isn’t willing to have a discussion about, why are you staying?

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My husband watched porn sometimes with me and they look nothing like me but he is only fucking me and loves me. He’s also a bouncer at a bar and some of those women are fine asf he looks but that’s all it is.

You need to move on. Cheating and looking up other woman is not being faithful.

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Ask yourself Really why are you with him if your sex life sucks and he’s disrespectful looking up other women if Your his woman?:woman_facepalming:t2: He’s a jerk and run from that loser!

Here’s my take on it. If you don’t do it, why can’t someone who claims to love you return that same respect? Especially after you stated that they’ve previously cheated. If they truly changed their ways and were actually remorseful they wouldn’t be indulging in temptation and then fighting you on a boundary you’ve set after choosing to forgive them. He’s showing you he doesn’t respect you enough to stop something that should be a bare-minimum. That everyone does it line is a poor way to excuse shitty behaviors. In reality your boundaries should be respected by your partner and vice versa

My husband did this before we married. I told him its me or whatever attention seeking behavior. This was after several conversations and now he doesn’t use social media. He’s never cheated just liked photos that were provocative and attention seeking. I had an ex who fid this and refused to stope and it made me feel bad about myself!

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Get used to it or make a change for yourself. As a mother is this the behavior you want your child to grow up and emulate? You know what time it is, here’s your affirmation!

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People stay with cheaters then wonder why they’re not happy…

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He doesn’t see an issue with his infidelity and he’ll definitely do it again especially if he can’t respect a simple boundary such as that

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:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

I’ll jus say you don’t wanna clean this mess after baby’s born.

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Idk if my now fiance would but he knows how I feel about it cuz I have told him some things my ex use to do. I mean if ur asking and u feel his answer ain’t sincere I’d ask more of the lines " do u want me to look like that" or like kinda test him u know. In the end he should love u for u and not beat around the bush about it and respect that u don’t like it even if he’s just “looking up dumb stuff” I think the biggest problem in most relationships is communicating. If he can’t respect u enough to hear u out about how something makes u feel it ain’t worth staying.

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Well, not “all guys” look up dumb stuff🙄 that’s just a cop out. Let him run to one of those other girls. I’m sure he’ll be doing you a favor. Cheating and looking up other women?? Dodge that bullet while you can

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Too much going on right now I’m the world to worry about a man!

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You don’t just like one body type? :thinking: If your that insecure you shouldn’t be with him though.

Once a cheater always one. I’m sorry, he’s looking for what he think is better…

You have to decide what you want for your future. If you dont want a cheater, he has to go.

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I don’t look at what I’m not attracted to, like specifically seeking the photos and liking/ saving them. Most wouldn’t. Some people have a wide variety of preferences while many don’t. Many also just settle instead of go for what they really want. If he cheated sober, that’s pretty much a given that he’d been done or was ready to be while still figuring out his out.

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Have you discussed boundaries?what you find acceptable and what isnt?do you trust your significant other?could you?lots to work on.good luck and prayers.

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I’d just follow my instincts and what my heart feels if in doubt throw it out

I’d say get out now one of my exs used to do the same and made me realise just shortly after my son was born I knocked it all in the head wasn’t good for me or my son being in a situation like that! You want better for your child! If in doubt throw it out as they say!! Xx

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It is 100 percent disrespectful and anyone who does this in a relationship, man or woman, is in the wrong. I know as humans, we all like to look, but if it is excessive, done blatantly in front of you, especially after expressing your feelings, that’s a crap thing to do.

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It’s about the principal of the matter and his lack of respect for your boundaries may I suggest;
Start looking up other hot men pics and videos in front of him make sure he is aware Of what Your doing!!! If He wants to have his cake then girl let him but “YOU SHOULD BOTH GET TO EAT IT UP” for now… if he don’t mention anything then it’s clearly never gonna change. Figure out if you can tolerate his wondering eyes
and in the meantime, I’ll enjoy the new views, while most likely slowly pulling my focus from him and center myself out by turning my time energy and efforts, towards my damn self.
Remember you are the one setting and you are gonna evolve from this, let this moment make you absolutely do not let it break you.

I didn’t mind porn but I put in a boundary I don’t need to be woken up to you on it and he would break that every time. I seen it change porn started looking like the underage girls house he just left late from then the next thing I heard was he’s still here when I wake up…now he’s gone.

That’s disrespectful to you especially that you’re pregnant tell him not get off

If there was cheating before it shows he is able to step out and disrespect the relationship and disregard your feelings. I would say work on getting some money up and prepare to take care of baby alone. Don’t let him know anything and just keep watch of his actions. When you are set, just go. Once the foundation of trust is broken and disrespect and disregard has been blatantly shown it rarely gets better. Definitely time to go.

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If your insecure leave the relationship

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Tell him how he is making you feel.Bad boy over there acting like a 10 year old while his woman is going to give birth.Idk what the heck is wrong with men these days.Maybe I’m just too old for these modern days.However respect should not go out of style.

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It according to how the look is. Is he noticing the beauty in a quick glance or is he being a jerk? If he’s being a jerk, I’d slap the caps off his teeth. Period. If he does it again then you have a decision to make.

First, I wouldn’t have a baby with a person who cheated on me. Period. Sorry, but often it happens again…and I would not risk the future stability of my child’s life on that. Do you trust him? Because all people are attracted to different stuff. He may love you and be attracted to you but still find other things attractive. No big deal. To me it sounds like lack of self esteem…which is fed by previous cheating and insecurities…which are not magically fixed by making a baby. I don’t care what kind of porn my husband watches. I’m a bigger girl now than I was when we got together 10+ years ago. Sure I know he’d like me thinner. But he loves me and our sex life is great even with two small kids.

Nah that ant right not all men do that. Leave while you can girl!

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My husband has looked at other women, when we were out in public together. I learned to say she is pretty isn’t she. He was with me and going home with me. It doesn’t bother me. Maybe because I was in my late 40’s, when we got together. Sometimes, looking isn’t harmful. Some may be checking out the style of clothing, shoes or the hairstyle. It’s amazing how humans are so different in so many ways.

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That’s just very inconsiderate & sh*tty.

He should be looking up how to take care of a baby and what he can do to fulfill his Dad role. He is a :pig:

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If u tell him it bothers you and why and he does it anyways and not give a shit. That’s a problem

A womans instinct knows+is never wrong,to go with your gut feelings.
It’s up to you how you want to live your life?
No matter what advice anyone else might give you,it’s your hand of cards to play or to be folding in the end😉

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See if he likes you looking up men?

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It’s disrespectful and a form of cheating. Had this conversation with my husband over 39 years ago. I used to allow him to go hang out with the guys at a strip joint. I caught him talking about one girl in particular. He didn’t know I heard him and the guys talking. He insisted it was just a guy moment. I let him know how it hurt me. It scarred me pretty good. 39 years together he’s never gone back or disrespected me again. It’s about realizing the hurt and mental issues that the disrespect causes. Either he cares or he doesn’t. If he can’t give up what is disrespectful then dump him. Or start looking at men and see how he likes it

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I don’t… I’m not gonna allow myself to be disrespected or hurt for a single second… I’m 34 yrs old I have 5 kids and I don’t have time for any of that…I love my husband and if I have ever mentioned feeling a certain way about maybe…some random girl liking all his stuff the second he posts so I ask who she is and he says …a girl I knew in school but she ain’t nobody to me…and before I know it she’s gone … he respects my feelings and being fb frienyd with someone is not as important to him as the way I feel… to say I love this man is an understatement…he’s an actual dream come true and I would do anything for him… Except lose myself… I will never again allow a man to make me feel like less than I am,like I’m not worthy of honestly,love and respect!! Im not going to waste a single day of my life on someone that thinks disrespecting me is ok! You shouldn’t either! It doesn’t matter if it’s just looking or what the situation is… the fact is it makes you feel bad,it makes you hurt,feel disrespected,unsure of yourself,not sexy enough… And your husband should understand and be willing to stop any action that makes you feel that way without question…

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Disrespectful if he can’t respect your feelings there is an issue! And I don’t care if anyone comes at me side ways about it its just wrong and extremely Disrespectful of your feelings if he loves you he will stop! Period! I don’t care how anyone sees this its emotional cheating! Period!

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What does it matter. He’s with you. We all have a type. He’s with you

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I’d find it disturbing if he was looking up any type of female that in its self shows wandering intent. I’d ask am I not what you want in life? Because some body did that to me they would have the option to go check out lots of others I’d be gone. I value my self worth and person more than to have someone do that to me and being presently carrying his child to boot oh hell now. The only thing he would have is himself and four walls. He’s not worth wasting your time on. Find someone who adores you and your child. Your worth the effort. Hugs

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If it hurts you a boundary needs to be set and he needs to stick to it. If not then that is further proof he doesn’t respect you and it is time to move on.

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I think you already know your gut told you to post this and it’s for validation I feel, you feel how you feel, only thing you can do is address it and if he can’t give you a way to find a point of closure and reassurance I think you know what you need to do. I’m sending you a big long hug mama cause this ain’t right I know you are torn right now.

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It’d be hurtful to me, too. :pray:

I guess the situation depends. Is he looking up other females as in real ones? Like on insta or Facebook ect? Or is it a porn situation?

Both are shitty but the advice I give is different based upon your answer to this

He’s disrespectful on soo many levels. If he wants to go checking out anyone else then there’s the door. Why is he with you, got your baby etc. Doesn’t he think he needs to protect you and your unborn child. He’s so wrong it’s his job now to be loyal to you more than ever not wandering and leaving you feel insecure. It’s not good for anyone especially your baby. Anxiety much and you ought to have the best. All the best x

From what I gather searching up and looking at that kind of stuff for men is more or less entertainment like women and reality tv or true crime but if he is replacing your intimacy with that then there is reason for concern and feeling angry or hurt.
The fact that you mention cheating in the past is the most concerning part of your post. If you cannot trust him then, search history aside, you need to move on. Whether he will cheat again or not should not have to be something that is on your mind when you have a child coming. I wish you the best of luck but please remember, there are worse things than single parenthood.

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Cheating part isn’t good. And looking at other Womens videos It does make you feel bad but you could be with anyone no matter what. they are gonna look at those videos. They are gonna hide in toilet and watch porn. I was use to get mad and feel insecure if that’s what he is looking for. If I’m not his type. But He never left me. He is still here and he still does that I know just not in-front of me. And I’m happy with that. He never stopped so I guess it’s men’s thing. If you don’t like it. they are gonna do it when your not there. But he shouldn’t do it infront of you that’s what I would say. I know it makes you feel insecure. But just remember those women are not real. They put kilos of make up and so many filters to make videos😂

Get rid of him. ASAP

Very rarely are people who cheat on you not ever going to do it again. Do with that what you will, but I think you know who he is (he’s shown you) question is are you prepared to believe him or ready to ride the toxic BS out?

Put on a sexy outfit and get your sex life back :heart_eyes: