When a man (your SO) says to you “it’s not that hard” as you’re venting to him, what’s your response? Regardless of the situation or circumstances, if you’re confiding in him that you’re having a difficult time, do you find that to be an appropriate response? Or would you lose it (as I did)?
I’d go mad, it doesn’t matter if its not that hard to him its valid to you and he should respect that as your partner
Depends on what it was about. Sometimes we can all be a little dramatic when we are upset or frustrated. Even my SO gets that way over something small and im like ok its not that bad. I do the same things sometimes when im cooped up too long with the kids im like omg im dying! But if it was something serious or a reoccurring issue that frustrates me or is difficult and he said that I’d be pissed too. My husband is usually very supportive and understanding and I try to be as well. If its something you can swap roles have him do it for a while and see if its as easy as he seems to think
I would lose it, not the right answer but I definitely would lose it
Mine says . " its just not that serious " ugh pisses me off. And then I think about it . And really it wasn’t that serious. Which pisses me off even more lol
Did he maybe possibly in man brain speaking mean that your overthinking things and it’s time to slow down but keep doing your best … that’s the only positive spin I can put on that lol
My husband does this!!! It’s never that hard or that bad unless its his problems. SMFH
Mine knows better than to say that to me because it would get hard for him quick
Maybe things aren’t that hard. And maybe this situation wasn’t that hard… lol
Hide something of his and when he asks you to help him look tell him it’s not that hard I would tell him that you are being serious and to answer honestly and not with sarcasm.
Context does matter. Tone of voice also matters.
He’s right sometimes things aren’t that hard… but when you add other things on top of it that one thing could just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
So alone yes certain situations aren’t that hard but when you have 10 other situations also shit becomes very difficult
really depends… there’s a lot of things I don’t think should be hard and my spouse doesn’t do it… like give our kid meds on time or make sure their hair is brushed before school…
It depends on nothing! Your feelings are valid no matter what they are. Tell him how dismissal of your concerns hurts you or makes you feel. It’s not okay at all
I just tell him it may not be hard, but I am having a hard time with it. I just need you to be there for me and support me, I dont need your opinion.
Tell him “it may not seem hard to you but it is for me and I need you to accept and understand that”.
Most guys are not that good at solving emotional problems, he probably did not really know what to say. His intention was possibly more like things seem hard but you will get through it, things could be worse. Without having a clue on what the problem you were venting about is it is hard to give more than a vague answer. The best thing to do is talk to him ask him what he meant by his answer, ask him what he would do if he was feeling as you are feeling and what he would do in your situation whatever it is that you were venting about.
“regardless of the situation” no booboo, the situation DOES matter.
Next time he vents say the same thing
Men say they are stronger then women, my ass!
Pack a bag and leave for 2 days. Leave a post it on the counter, see ya in 2 days asshole. Now see how easy it is.
Might be that he doesn’t know how to use the right words to make you feel better.
I would try to find a situation or a thing he finds difficult to deal with and use that as an example as to how and why things that may seem easy for some, may not be for others. Everyone has difficulty with something. It may be situations, it may be with inner turmoil and it maybe family related, and be work related. But this is why we have family , friends and spouses. We are supposed to be each others support system. We are supposed to be the strength for eachother when there is a weakness.
If I am having a bad day, my husband will listen to me vent then give my a huge hug and say it will be ok, we will figure this out and he will help me with whatever is needed.
The same goes if the roles were reversed.
A family unit is only as strong as it’s weakest link so to help build someone up is to support the whole family.
Sometimes you have to spell out what you need to someone. Maybe you just need to vent and get a big hug then hear the most amazing words " we will figure this out together". If that is what you need, tell him.
Guys go into “fix-it” mode when we complain. Maybe he said this in a misguided effort to soothe you. Sadly, we have to explain to guys what we want in advance in a moment of calm: “I just need you to listen to me, make sympathetic noises and hug me, you don’t need to solve my problem right now, just say you get how I could feel that way.” Then tell him what you want to have happen after you’re done venting and give him a deadline of a couple of days to take action or come up with a solution.
Also made a deal with a male housemate that if he made appropriate positive noises (“ooh! Mmm, nice!”) when I showed him my purchases I would do the same for him when he talked about something in which I had no interest. Even if it wasn’t sincere, it helped!
Swift kick to the crown jewels usually solves the problem then avoid him until he apologised