Sounds like he has some unresolved trauma and the crying triggers him. If his body is stuck in a state of fight or flight, he may feel like he’s getting attacked when crying happens and that is his response. I don’t think he’s a bad person, but I think he could use a therapist to dig up his traumas and start EMDR. I personally feel he didn’t mean anything bad by calling her “that thing”. I think it was a heat of the moment trauma response.
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My sperm donor was like this…it resulted in me being shook at 6 months old. Take this seriously, watch him and never let him be alone with her…get him counseling asap.
When a parent’s first reaction isn’t to nurture and protect his children and family, this is not something to be ignored in hopes it gets better eventually.
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My husband was super hands off with our first when he was a baby…. Any time he cried while he was holding him, he was immediately given back to me, or anyone else that would take him…. He just didn’t know how to bond with a baby…. It was a struggle for sure and there was a lot of resentment there on my part…. But he is hands down THE most amazing dad I’ve ever seen with all three of our kids now…. Once our first one was more interactive and he WAS able to bond with him, everything changed - and he didn’t have an issue bonding with the next one as a baby…… basically - he’s scared and he doesn’t know what to do to get the baby to stop crying, and since you do; he feels like she doesn’t like him and it makes him feel inadequate. It takes time. You’ve already had 9mos of bonding - he really hasn’t. I eventually just made my husband take our son on his own so he had to figure it out…… they both survived and do everything together now, 12yrs later
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DON’T LEAVE THAT BABY WITH HIM AT ALL! There’s no telling what harm he will do to her in his care.
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Nope
Sounds like he didn’t or hasn’t bonded with the baby
Be careful I read too many time baby’s getting shaken by a frustrated parent
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Please find someone to watch your baby during your procedure. I would t trust that he would t be triggered and hurt the baby, unfortunately. Then make sure he gets counseling so that this doesn’t continue and he can develop a good relationship with her!
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Ummm do not leave the baby with him!! I know that’s absolutely ridiculous and complete bullshit, but that baby needs to be safe and he could very well snap if he is that triggered
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Don’t leave the baby with him. He might shake her and cause death.
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Perhaps he is stressed with no one working in the house which can also lead to depression…maybe ask him.
Do not leave your baby with Him. Even the slightest “shake” or anything out of anger can harm her or worse.
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Get a sitter, get your health together seek counseling ASAP
I wouldn’t leave your daughter with him, he’s bond to lose his temper with her and may end up harming her! He needs help and if he doesn’t get that help who’s know what could happen! And if u leave your baby with him knowing her crying triggers his anger then if he harms her then u are just as responsible for what happens! Use common sense as much as it sucks u need to protect your daughter
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Was he in the military? Could her crying be a trigger? Things to consider. Talk with your doctor.
Have him help you both with a parenting class, maybe he’s afraid he’ll hurt her. He definitely needs some type of intervention, therapy, speak to your doctor right away and don’t leave her alone with him .
Have a friend or relative help while you have the procedure.
Please don’t leave your baby with him. Contact early help maybe?
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It’s so unfortunate but… some people are just like that. They have a baby and realize they don’t like it. My first husband did this. The day our daughter was born he became a different person. Always so agitated, couldn’t stand her crying or fussing. One day, she was crying “too much” and he yelled “Shut the fuck up” in her face and started to shake her. I left him not long after that.
Try getting him into therapy, but don’t leave him alone with her until things get better. Good luck to you.
dont leave the baby with him… find someone else please. that is so scary & im so sorry you have to deal with that
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This is a serious RED FLAG
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Definitely get someone else to watch your baby, take it from my experience first time my ex had our baby boy alone he beat him to death. Get your husband into counseling asap.
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Men and women go through PPD just the same. Maybe he will warm up, but be ready because he might not. And please, NEVER NEVER NEVER leave your baby alone with him.
I would not leave her in his care. Honestly he has some issues that needs resolved and she probably can feel his disregarded emotions. Do you have any other option for child care? You should stop beating around the bush, explain your feelings and the remarks he makes, makes you upset as well as uncomfortable to leave his own child with him. Trust your gut momma
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Honestly i would ask your brother in law to watch the baby or someone from church?
Just sounds like hes depressed and might be blaming the baby for it. Things will change as he exits the depression.
I would be concerned, also why haven’t you told him you can’t lift her after the procedure? That’s gonna cause some big issues after the fact. You need someone you trust watching her.
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First of I’m terribly sorry this is happening to you, your baby and even to your husband.
In regards to leaving your baby with your husband while you have that procedure done, my advice would be to NOT leave her with your husband alone while you both get this sorted. It seems like he may need professional to get him out of that and leaving your baby unattended and leaving your husband with all the responsibility will more than likely overwhelm him. Your baby’s safety and well-being is #1. Try to get family to help and step in while your husband gets the help he needs.
Best of luck! This is hard.
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And you need to find someone to come stay with you and help out while you recover. Or postpone your procedure. Because he’s going to get overly frustrated with the baby. If he can’t handle it for a few minutes, he won’t be okay after a few days.
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If a mother was referring to her child as an it or thing, would your red flags be set off? As a mother yourself I am going to assume yes. Would you feel comfortable with someone who is clearly expressing themselves in an alarming manner Alone with your vulnerable child? This baby has no defenses or communication besides crying. He doesn’t sound to be in a mental capacity to watch her. Remove the husband part from the equation and read this post again from a different POV. Seek help for him as well as you in terms of childcare.
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Get someone else to look after your baby,
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Please dont ignore the red flags,many things happen because one ignored real signs.
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I would not leave my child with him. “father” or not. Referring to his own flesh and blood as “it” shows he hasn’t bonded with your child. It sounds like he resents the child in my personal opinion but that’s just how it comes off to me
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You might also want to make a will of some sort now that you can just in case something were to ever happen to you. I’m really rallying for you to come out of this so juju sprinkles to you 
maybe talk to your brother in law and discuss arrangements in case something happens?
Honestly not sure what the cause of his irritation may be but like other ladies have said PLEASE do NOT leave your baby alone with him .
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The reason she cries when he holds her is she prolly senses he uncomfortable with holding her idk how to stop that i suggest have him interact with her without holding her like in bouncy seat swing etc maybe get a floor mat and start that way maybe he just needs to bond slowly instead of handing her to him thats only my opinion thats what i would do BUT what i would not do is leave the baby alone with him for any period of time until they gain trust in eachother she gonna cry if she feels resentment from anyone thats a natural instinct
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He needs counceling. Man can have a type of post-partum depression as well.
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I don’t think it will get better 
it never got better with my daughter’s dad. She’s 6 and he barely spends time with her. btw, We are not together he probably sees her once every 2 months.
Certain sounds set me off…it might not be his fault…i forget the name of it
Maybe he should take a parenting class. The newborn stage isn’t for everybody, it can be rough adjusting. But i suggest you find someone else more patient in the meantime to help you.
I wouldn’t leave him alone with her at ALL.
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I don’t want to scare you, but please look up Shaken Baby Syndrome. Mayo clinic, for example has a really good section on this.
Big red flag.
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He needs help men can have postnatal depression too not just women a baby is a massive change to men’s lives too stop forcing him with the baby
Don’t leave your baby with him.
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I would NEVER leave her alone with him how many more warning signs do you need from his actions and also your baby daughter who crys everytime he holds her he doesn’t have the patience for her that will only end bad. Calling my child it thing once would be the last time and a child shouldn’t have too grow on him.
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I wouldn’t leave the baby with him. I don’t know u or the baby. But that to me is a red flag. What if she cry’s and won’t stop? Will he hurt her? All these what if and will he questions. It scares me for u and the baby.
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I would never leave her with him.
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Maybe if he had a job, he wouldn’t be around the little bundle of joy that cries because she can’t talk.
My youngest is 7 months my other half never really Done anything for him he talk to him that about it so I take him everywhere with me or ask someone else to watch him x
I didn’t even read the whole thing and my advice is to get rid of him. He sounds like a total loser.
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Please do not ignore these red flags.
DO NOT LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE WITH YOUR BABY
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Sounds like he needs to go to anger management I wouldn’t leave the baby alone with him at all that’s for sure
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It’s not worth the risk right now to leave them alone together. He could snap and cause severe injury or death. I don’t know your or him, but I couldn’t leave my baby with anyone who acted that way. Good luck.
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Don’t leave him alone with her and try to get him counseling and a job
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Oh my. This scares me:(
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Maybe in his head he is thinking mite not be mind. There is a reason for his actions. smh . Could just be stress men don’t deal like us females. Praying you gets to feeling better and this all works it self out. 
.
Get the brother n law to babysit! That man is horrible!
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My husband gets irritated as well. He dont have the nerves for babies crying for no reason lol we have 4 month old twins. Hes getting better but maybe he just doesnt understand ways to make her stop. I had to show my husband things to do that could possibly be the reason the baby is crying. Hes finally getting the hang of it. It’s just a mothers instinct to know what’s possibly wrong when our babies cry, dads dont.
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don’t ever leave the baby with him alone. The signs are there, do not trust him with her!!!
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Girl, PLEASE do not leave that baby with him. Period. He could snap and hurt her and/or you! What if she starts screaming and crying while he is alone with her??? He may get desperate enough to make her stop crying any way that he can! Please be smart enough to at least take her to a trusted family member while you are not around. Furthermore, if I couldn’t trust my spouse with my child, I would leave! No need in taking the risk and it is too late once something bad happens. Encourage him to get help and you and baby stay somewhere until he does. If this is behavior you have seen in other situations before baby then get the hell out and move on. If you are having to question anyone around your child then you already know what to do.
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Leave now. Dont think twice happen it.
Don’t leave you baby with him please!!! If you have a family rather she goes there, you don’t want to find yourself grieving over your baby because your husband killed her Cause she couldn’t stop crying 
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I’m wondering how old he is? My sons father did the same thing when my son was an infant. We split when our little guy was only 2months old. I wouldn’t allow him to be alone with him until he got a bit older. It was a sensory thing for him. As well as taking it to personally when our son would cry. He felt as if our son hated him. It took a lot of encouragement, communication and patience. But he grew into his role as a father and is getting better each day
This is pretty scary, I don’t think I’d leave baby alone with him tbh
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He sounds like the next bad news story. Protect your baby. Tell him he has to get help or leave.
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Make him go with you to your appointment seriously. This is the age my nephew’s abuse started because of crying and it persisted into other things as he got older.
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Some people can not handle certain stages. If he has sensory issues try to work around that with like noise canceling headphones and stuff like that.
Don’t leave him alone with the baby though. He may not even want to hurt the baby, and just snap. You don’t want to risk it trust me.
Also also just because he’s not handling infancy well doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy the other stages. It doesn’t mean he will never love the child. Like I said some people have baby stages they just can not handle.
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People keep don’t leave the baby with him. What happens when you have more kids. If you can’t trust him to keep his own child you need to leave as you are already a single parent without help.
Please don’t leave your baby alone with him.
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So, I’m not making excuses because I find his behavior to be frustrating and not good for the baby or you. But I have to ask, is he a new dad? I really think we should start talking about the changes men go through after having a baby because it really does affect both parents and I was reading that men can get depressed after a new baby too. I would sit down with him and have a talk about what is going on with him. His feelings. Why is he behaving this way? And then express how it makes you feel and your concerns and then go from there. That’s how I would handle it.
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Wow, he started out as a baby. Geez he needs help, babies are innocent.
If it were me I would not feel safe leaving my child with him because he could snap and something could happen to the baby and if something happens I know that I would never forgive myself
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DO NOT leave that baby alone with him. There are some major red flags in this situation. You need to take your baby & leave immediately. He could literally snap any minute if he is alone with that baby.
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I’d hire a sitter while you are at your procedure… honey, I’ve seen strangers treat strangers babies completely better than he is! When he calls the baby a “thing” it shows he hasn’t bonded, anyone who hasn’t bonded to the baby, can physically hurt your child! I wouldn’t leave him in the same room with her unattended until you figure out what his issue is! I’d totally asked questions and expect an answer!
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He could get frustrated and angry at baby for crying and hurt your baby. These are warning signs you are seeing from him. Don’t leave baby w him!
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You need to sit down and have a talk with him and see what is going on. His behavior is unacceptable. That is his little girl and he needs to step up. You and your baby deserve better.
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Yeah deff wouldn’t leave my child with him, and all the signs of not being safe are their. You have to put your child before everything and everyone, For the sake of your child. . : PLEASE Leave
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I wouldn’t leave her alone with him yet but if she is his first then yeah it could take a bit to adjust to her. Try to be Patient, not everyone is ready the moment they see the two pink lines. Also she is breast fed, have you given him bottles with pumped milk to help him bond with her? Don’t give up on him yet, post partum depression happens in men too, but do not leave them alone yet.
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coming from me i wouldnt leave him alone with the baby, 2 id get a monitor/video and watch it, some men dont understand that its alot of sleepless nights, lots of crying, lots of diaper changes, but thats part of being a dad
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I would absolutely NOT be leaving him alone with her. He honestly might need some counseling and anger management. Dads often don’t warm to kids or get accustomed to their crying as well or fast as moms. But he’s not even treating her like a person. He calls her a “thing” or an “it”. That’s honestly scary.
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You need to find another care person, unfortunately your husband is not fit to care for her at this time. There are a lot of red flags here.
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Momma if your on here asking questions im sure there is something in your heart mind and soul already telling you and your here to look for clues to just behavior. Thats a big red flag. Even if he is young or immature for his age… you already know! What happens when the kid starts going through night terrors or teething or just getting sick. That mood he’s got is not gonna calm that child at all… I pray you find the resources you need! I wish you the very best of luck
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Was he an angry person before? Sounds like some anger management is needed if so
Definitely do not leave him alone with her that’s for sure and what father calls there daughter a thing omg would not trust him at all so not normal behaviour
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He needs therapy. ASAP. He might have depression or just be really freaked out about the baby stage, especially if he is unable to calm her down.
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He refers to his baby as a thing and that does not sound alarms that he is seriously disturbed and possibly dangerous to have around your innocent baby. Dump him.
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Hire a sitter. Maybe he should’ve been fixed if he didn’t want children. A husband or anyone if they called my kid a thing, that thing would be out the door finding a new place.
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Please DO NOT ever leave baby alone with dad. He is disconnected from the child and I feel he could harm her if she won’t stop crying. Maybe have a sit down and talk about it.
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I’m probably going to get slack for this.It sounds like he may be depressed.I wouldnt leave the baby with him until he gets some type of help.He could be depressed bc of him not working.It could be many things.I would sit and talk with him and let him know that,its okay to talk to you about how he feels.
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Why is it not normal to feel this way for him. But its okay for new moms to get fustrated a d depressed. We don’t go around telling new moms they aren’t safe for the baby etc. Dad’s struggle too. Maybe speak with about counseling for him and for both of you. If he’s not working he is probably stressed and scared he isn’t providing. Men get depressed too. Men struggle like we struggle. A talk is to be had.
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Please don’t leave the baby alone with him
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Think about her safety. That’s a long time to be with a baby who will cry for sure during that time. What will happen when your not there to get her? I don’t want you to find out what all his triggers can do. Seek help. Professional help. Reach out beyond this medium and don’t take things like this lightly. Plz get help. Our opinions can only go so far. Sending love your way 
Perhaps he doesn’t know how to deal with a baby. He may not have any experience with babies. Not that any of that is an excuse for that kind of behavior. Find someone else to care for your baby during your procedure and please don’t leave your baby alone with him. I read a bunch of red flags. Not saying that he would purposely hurt her but that’s a chance that you don’t want to take.
I’m so sorry for the sickness you got
But what I can say is this man is not aware of the gift what God gave him.
He won’t be aware until he lose this gift.
Be strong
Are you totally alone to depend on this guy?
Whatever decision you will make, your motherhood will give you power and a way to make your baby happy.
Pray with all your all heart
And also if today your lips can’t speak to what you are asking to God, let God see what’s in your heart
Trust my words.
I’m a single mom too, my husband didn’t gave us any attentions too…
And one day I decided to make my way…
I’m still struggling but I’m definitely making my kid smile everyday
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The noise could be a sensory issue hes never acknowledged before. Try getting him those noise cancelling ear buds to help him. Instead of just basking him and demanding he do what you want, why dont you try working as a team to come up with a solution
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So sad I wouldn’t leave him alone with her
Sounds like your relationship is coming to an end and parenthood exposed his true colors. He’s narcissistic. He’s completely immature paternally and I have a good feeling he’ll also be completely unreliable to you when it comes with dealing with your cancer. I wish you the best of wishes to get through all these challenges. Don’t be afraid to ask your family and even his family for help, since he won’t.
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Nahhhh this ain’t right. Don’t EVER leave that baby alone with him EVER. Never heard a father refer to their baby as “it”
So many red flags here
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Try to find a friend or someone else to keep baby… Dude seems a bit unhinged and baby’s safety is top priority.
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This was my exact life 4 years ago. Turns out my husband had post partum depression, men can get it too. For us mothers that can feel really unfair and things really hard, but it will pass. Seek help, get someone to talk to about it and help. Talk and work on it little by little, this first year will be really hard, but remember not to make any life changing decisions this first year.
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Please don’t leave your baby alone with him! He needs help before he’s going to be able to properly and safely take care of her.
Red flags are busting out of this post. The second he referred to your baby as a thing is the biggest one. Some fathers and mothers just aren’t built for parent hood and that how bad things happen to the kids. Cause they show no concern for the child’s well being. If you had an emergency what would happen. The baby just sit there in their own shit or piss for hours on end because he can’t handle it.
What was his childhood like ? Does he believe that the mother should be be the sole caretaker ? Did he have a rough childhood that the crying causes flashbacks? Have thne conversation with him and then make your decisions ! Did he even want childrenwhen planning pregnancy ? Or not planned ? Please keep that sweet baby safe as well as yourself !!!
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Male postpartum depression is a thing maybe it’s that
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