Mine does nothing! I’ve been in bed sick for a week with diverticulitis and he did nothing! No trash no laundry no cat litter box no dog pu nothing no cleaning the house or the bathroom he did nothing!
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I don’t ask my husband to do anything bc he does it wrong. It’s probably his strategy, lol
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I have a dry erase board on my fridge that I write my children’s chores on daily. Maybe something like that?
It’s not rocket science. As a Marine I saw men as young as 18 do ironing, stand uniform inspections, clean their rooms spotless and pick up after themselves. He can do it; he just doesn’t want to. Grocery lists and shopping are things a 12-year-old can handle. He can do it, talk to him.
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“Open to doing housework” 
You’re kidding right?!? What does that even mean? Like before you Married him was there someone else doing all the housework for him? This shit is hilarious. There are different levels of a clean house. People should figure out what that means to both partners first. There is usually a partner that might value it more than the other. That partner becomes in charge of making sure it is to their standard or lower the standard. Otherwise this is going to drive you mad.
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If he wants to help let him. My fiance and i split all house work. But we both work full time as well
Writing a to-do list for my husband would feel too much like being his parent. If I want my husband to do something to help around the house I ask him to do whatever and on the weekends he lets me sleep in and he does the dishes or sweeps and mops the floor. He knows what needs to be done he doesn’t need me to give him chores.
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My hubby does housework with no problems…he is probably better at it than me…
and he also cooks dinner almost every night 
#luckygirl
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Why are you delegating him, are you his mom?
Do you communicate with him & have a list & just say these are the things that need to get done this week?
I blew the fuck up and didnt do anything for about 2 weeks. And now… I really dont have to do anything if I dont want to because my husband knows I’ll just stop. I’ll go on vacation or some shit and just leave him here with the kid and the mess. I told him I’m not his mother or his maid and we both work full time and we both own the house so there is no excuse
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My husband will do it when I ask. But before me he didn’t do it for himself lol we were also 19 when we got married so that probably says alot haha generally I have to repeat please pick up your crap I’m not a maid. In all fairness he does do it, just not in the time frame i expect it to be done. When I clean I try and get it all done at once. He will randomly pick things up here and there throigh oit the day and if it’s not a big mess he will leave it until it is a big mess. I’m the opposite and want it to be picked up as soon as someone sees it so it doesn’t turn into a big mess. I’m also a sahm so I generally do all of the house work before he gets home, i just won’t tolerate cleaning up a trail he leaves because that has happened lol just let him help out and try to relax about. Enjoy doing it together even if he doesn’t do it the same way you do.
My hubs doesn’t help with everyday stuff (I’m a stay at home mom) but when I go into frantic clean mode every couple weeks he looks at my to do list for myself and picks things to do. If he didn’t look he would just focus on different things that may not be bothering me.
My husband has a reminder set every Sunday in his phone that says clean something. I am not his mother it isn’t my job to tell an adult how to contribute to keeping his own home clean. And I don’t care how he does it, as long as it is done. Being a nitpicking nag because someone didn’t do it exactly how you want it done is s sure way to make sure no one helps you. When are we going to stop treating men like a child? They act exactly the way we expect them to.
My partner does it all if I let him . He just sees a mess and helps. Or cooks
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Make a list of everything that has to be done. Divide the list in half. U take half he takes half. For the week, month however u want to. The following week/month u switch lists. If he still is a child, may I suggest a chore chart, stickers and all.
My husband does a lot for me he cleans good I have a bad back and fibro we are empty nesters but he will jump in and do what’s needed I done have to ask. I cook he washed dishes I haven’t done dishes in years I’m blessed!!
Umm, if you see a mess… clean it up. We have 6 kids and my husband goes to work while I stay home with the kids. He still comes home after a long day and will cook dinner if I haven’t be able to start cooking, he will clean whatever needs cleaning and he gets the kids ready for bed each night while I relax. It’s all about being a team and working together to achieve the goal. I hope your husband kicks it into gear. 
My hubby does housework without being asked and so did my father
He lives there too? If he lives their its a partnership not singleship. Step up or step out is my moral.
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Make a list of daily, weekly, & monthly chores. Let him know he needs to do a certain amount of each list.
My fiance is usually the one yelling at me telling ME what needs to be done & bugging me to help. 
i get so overwhelmed I dont know where to start. Maybe he just needs a list & to be told?
I think i can say, for most husbands, me, i couldnt begin to keep up with the endless amount of shit it takes to run a house. I tried ladies, i truly did, because my wife went down sick. I drive a dumptruck and do heavy physical labor, and as hard as i work, its not a 1/10th of the shit i discovered my wife deals with in one day. Add kids, shitty diapers, dishes, endless laundry, my hats off to every last wife and mother out there!
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My boyfriend and I both cook and clean. We split everything for the most part. We both do the laundry, dishes and cook. Hes voiced if something needs done to let him know and he will happily get it done before he plays games or relaxs. He takes the trash out usually and I clean the bathrooms cause well… I hate the trash and he hates the bathrooms… lol If you dont communicate now this will end up being a blow out fight later… Hes human. Just talk to him calmly and say you need some more help.
If he doesnt help after you trying to communicate then stop doing it to show him how much you do.
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When my husband has more than his 48 hours of home time a week, he will run the vacuum, do the dishes, and help out a lot without being prompted.
You shouldn’t have to be stricked. You shouldn’t have to tell him or even ask. If he doesn’t on his own and you have to tell him. Than that is a child not a man!!
Mine cooks, cleans, is at all appointments for my daughter without me ever having to ask. He does his own laundry and puts it away too. He also builds stuff for the house in the garage and gardens too. Seriously one blessed lady 
Mine helps (ish) he will do anything if I ask and he takes care of trash, outside, garage, car stuff. He will pick up after himself but if I need help with laundry or something I have to ask.
When I was the sahm I did all of that and when he has been sahd he always did it without me asking. I’ve always managed bills and hes always cooked but everything else it just depends who’s working or has more time for it.
So we’ve just moved house, and I made it clear this time I’m not doing it on my own. I’ve found having a visible list that he can see of all jobs that need doing in all rooms has helped massively!!! He’s far more appreciative of me because he has a visual of what I’m doing and it gives him an indication of what he can do 
so far it’s been great! Xx
My husband does house work,we also do groceries together and laundry, l do most of the cooking but he will help and also helps with dishes… Love my man!
Mine does dishes as needed cause he hates to see dirty ones in the sink. He is a smoker so when he goes out for a smoke he checks the trash if its full he takes it to the dumpster. I dont ask -he knows and sees what can be done to be helpful. 
Hes a grown man. He packs his own lunch so he makes sure he has what he needs from the grocery store when we shop. 
Have a conversation. He’s your partner in this.
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Mine will do anything I ask, but I have to ask. Choose your battles. Lol
Stop doing it. Then talk about. Go 50/50
I was married twice. I did everything. Did all the bills , housework, yard work , raised two kids and worked full time . I would have been grateful for just any help . When I left my first husband I had to show him how to write checks. Thank god some men are learning now that it’s a 2 way street .
Don’t delegate or tell him. Ask… can you vacuum while I do dishes?? Etc.
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My husband will help but he usually does not think about unless I say something. Every now and then he will do dishes and I am like whoa what happened? But to be fair he helped me all the time before he started working 10 hour days with an hour drive both ways.
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My husband will do things when needed, groceries if I’m unwell otherwise we go together housework he takes out the garbage does some laundry but never folds and packs away, and dishes, otherwise the rest is up to me, I don’t mind though my house is my sanctuary and more than likely I wouldn’t like how he cleaned or organised and I’d do it again. I don’t mind being the domestic housewife but I do work full time and expect some of the little things to be done with help from husband
I literally have to write my hubby a to do list and he still finds excuses lol if he’s helping with the children etc then it’s not too bad but if he’s sat doing nothing then tell him straight 
Katie Pike omg hahahaha
My husband does every single thing in the house without me saying anything. In fact I feel I am clueless when it comes to home stuff like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of our daughter, etc…
Um sit down and ask him what he knows how to do in his own… Show him how to do what he doesn’t and ask him to do the things he can. And stop complaining… Because you’re lucky he even wants to help you. I worked full time took care of 4 kids and the house and i didn’t complain because if i wanted it done right i did it myself so you cannot have your cake and eat it too… I get so mad when i hear women complaining that they have too much on their plates but then the men don’t do it right… They don’t like doing because it’s never good enough… So either be grateful for the help he tries to give or don’t expect it… He’s not a dog fetching a damn beer out of a cooler… And i promise you he has feelings and is stressed out too.
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My husband does a lot of the housework, im a crappy housewife
Talk to him. Communication is key. My husband and i work as a team. We have 3 kids (and I’m 35 weeks pregnant), both work and I’m at Uni. If it needs doing it gets done. We either sort it ourselves or ask the other to do or help x
It truly is a blessing to have a man who was raised to be mindful of his dwelling. He cleans up without being asked and he cooks up our meals without being asked. He was raised with responsibilities and for that I am forever grateful. He learnt to be independent at a young age. I also believe that’s living on his own has helped him be aware that a house needs maintenance. If anything, good and straight forward communication is key. Never keep negative feelings inside otherwise they will build up. And always show your appreciation 
best wishes mamma!
Ahhh… That’s probably how you " trained" him. Doing everything for him in the beginning… Now you need help, but don’t know how to ask him. Just tell him. Ex: babe can you clean the bathroom… Let’s try to do it every Wednesday. I’ll do laundry on Thursdays… Stuff like that… Idk just saying.
My husband works 9 hrs a day and I still give him chores to do. I do most of it, some days are exhausting because I have 3 kids so I make him do it. You just need to sit down with him and explain to him what he needs to do to help, he is your husband he should help!
Mine was completely lazy. I found going to work helped but he’s a I’ll never scrubbed a toilet in our house
I give my fiancé a list of tasks that I can’t do that need to be done or something I need help with and then I ask him to just complete the list before he goes to bed
Mine works 12-14 hours a day. He does help with grocery shoppin (we go together) he pays the bills. I make the list. He does the yard work. But our children 4, 6, & 16 has chores & i do majority of house work, homework and what not with the kids. His job is more hectic than mine. I do all the cooking. 💁
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Mine just has common sense.no lists here or chores given… hes not a child…
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My fiance is better at housework than i am honestly
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Marry a man not a child 
I have 4 of those I didn’t need my man being one as well.
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Im too picky to have my husband clean…so I can’t relate
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My husband does dishes and that’s about it he will occasionally pick things up and put them away
I do everything at home other than the yard. Laundry, dishes, floors, dusting, trash, garage, organization, even the kids rooms occasionally. I also work the same hours as him. Just simply how I was brought up. If i don’t do it, it doesn’t get done.
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No. Men do not automatically see what needs to be. Maybe chore sticks. Pull them out when chore is fine and move to a fine can. The chores that need to be done are in the need to do can. Ask him if he could please help with chores by pulling a chore stick or two.
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Usually I have to ask mine too do stuff but he does stuff with no complaint when I ask. We both work. So I totally get it being a pain that they can’t just look around and see what needs to get done without being told or asked etc. Once in awhile he’ll surprise me lol
My husband helps cook, clean and tend to our boys without any asking or telling. He works out of town during the week and only home on weekends and I’m a full time student.
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Do you work too or just him?
Good Lord he’s a grown ass man,just do it
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Mine jumps to help! He works 8+ hours/6days a week & will come right home & start sweeping & mopping floors while I start dishes & dinner! I also work 8+/5-6 days a week! There isn’t much that I have to give direction. Some things like folding laundry I better off doing
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Well I wouldnt be “strict” with him, after all your his partner not his mother . You’re a PARTNERSHIP.
Maybe talk to him about how he does or what he does that you dont like… my husband is always willing to help me but he also knows that I do things a certain way, for instance I fold my towels a certain way otherwise they dont all fit on the closet shelf (4yrs now and he just started remembering that when he is helping with towels to fold them the right way so I dont have to refold)… but he will either ask if anything needs done or just start doing things when he sees me not sitting down watching tv or something.
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I feel like if my man works a 12 to 14 hour job and have days off. I would want him to do house chores on his days off . And nothing to big , but taking the trash out and if we had dogs to feed them that’s it.
My husband helps with things I can not do (bad back) and I do the rest. Amongst the things he does is the shower/tub and even though he can see it needs to be done, it’s still something we have to schedule (“This Saturday we have to get the bathrooms done.”) and that is enough to get it done. Nothing wrong with respectful reminders and planning together!!
Give chores like dishes do if they don’t get done you can’t cook pick things to prove cause an effect towels an sheets keep you a few hidden so if he doesn’t was them he get out of shower an doesn’t have one lol yes I have been married a long time an my husband now is house broke Left him a long list of everything I did every day an he said I could do that so the following sat I got up early left that list on my chair an left him with a2 yr old an a 2 wk old and I went to a friends an slept all dam day !!! Your welcome ladies
I’m not married so maybe my advice is irrelevant, but relationships (and marriage especially) are meant to be a partnership. It’s okay to ask for help, keeping the whole house clean is overwhelming (and they help dirty it too). But I don’t believe they will see it themselves, the same way they can look right at something and still not be able to find it. I’ve learned you just have to ask, and not nag. “Can you help me with this while I’m doing this?” Or “I have this and this that really needs done today, could you help me with one of these so I don’t feel so overwhelmed?” Are both good ways to ask for help that makes it feel more like teamwork and less like chores.🤷 Asking this way has helped me tons, it helps him to see it as helping me out rather than having to do chores, and he’s more willing to help when it’s viewed that way.
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You are not his parent
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Mine is terrible. He usually doesn’t even throw his own garbage out… last night he swept the kitchen, I swept it this morning and still had a pile of hair and dirt
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I think women are predisposed to know how to run a household. However we often mess it up by correcting or criticising them when they contribute
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My husbands a great help most the time, i do have to ask sometimes with un obvious things, But if there was a pile of dirty dishes hed do them with out being asked or if it needed a vaccuum or if i couldnt make supper,
They know. They just don’t do it lol
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We have a chore calendar for weekly stuff. Otherwise I ask him when I need something done. Not a big deal.
We usually have separate tasks. For eg: I don’t do gardening at all. He takes a lead on it. Does it by himself and if he needs help, he’ll ask for it and I’ll help. For example, painting the fence. I take the lead on things I like, eg, cooking. Sometimes I need his help in with cleaning the spinach or beans. I ask for help and he helps along. I think it is important to have certain responsibility areas and not ask each other to do 5-minute tasks. For eg, I wouldn’t ask him to take out the trash. It only takes me a couple of mins. Similarly, he wouldn’t ask me to roll up the hose in the garden. We have divided areas and ask for help for activities that are going to take a few hours.
You have to make it simple.
You cook, He does dishes
You wash laundry, he puts it away
Sunday is our clean day unless it’s FOOTBALL SEASON 
then it’s Friday night.
He does the bathroom and our bedroom(I let him pick to make it easier for him) and we stick to the day. Works for us
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I would say consider yourself lucky cause some men don’t help even when they’re asked to. Just my opinion though
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It just get done half assed so I just do it most of the time !
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Some men think it is the womans duty to take care of the household chores…but if you work or are a stay at home mom he has no excuse not to help out.
Strict enough? Are you his mom or his wife?
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My husband keeps the dishes washed I keep the clothes washed.
Why do you have to “plan” anything. What is he a child?
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I got blessed with a hard working man. I don’t even have to ask. My fiancé will just do what I haven’t done and vice versa. We split house work 50/50 and I don’t even have to nag. I’ll ask occasionally like hey I’m leaving can you finish the laundry or finish the dishes and he says yeah and they’re done by the time I get home.
My ex on the other hand wouldn’t lift a finger unless I told him to and even then it took forever to get done or he would ask how to do it or just forget completely then I’d end up doing it…
maybe a chore calendar will help 
sometimes they just need that reminder.
If you’re both working then he ought to be doing half.
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My mum always told me men think differently to woman, you need to tell them what u want done when it comes to these things. They just don’t see what we see or it doesn’t bother them
They know it needs done they just wait for us to do it.
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I rraised 3 boys and anyone can clean, cook, wash, sew, take out the trash as good as any women today, if not better. Im so proud of them.
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I’m not his parent… I work more hours a week. I don’t ask him to clean or help out he just does it… cooking is another story but well I love to cook…
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Be grateful you have a man that will help. Some people need to be given tasks or lists. Not that big of a deal…
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It’s unfair that you want him to read your mind. What seems important to you may not be important to him. It’s natural to have different priorities, it doesn’t make him incompetent or lazy or inconsiderate. Communicate with your husband.
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My husband does pretty much all the cooking and majority of the cleaning at times. I have never had to ask him to do anything. It’s very strange to me that the phrase “strict enough” even came to mind.
My husband will do the dishes/take out the trash when he sees it’s full etc. but he’s never going to say “Oo this bathroom is dirty - I should clean it”. So I tell him to if he needs to. I’ve never even thought about whether or not it’s a big deal that I had to ask or that I told him to do it. He will say he doesn’t know how his mom did it all herself with 4 kids and I just respond me neither and that she’s pretty amazing and move on 
I think it’s amazing how all family dynamics are different. My husband and I both work full time. I own my own business and he is 2nd in charge at his company. So our plate is pretty full. I do all the housework, caring for the children, and all other “motherly” duties. He cares for anything “manly” that comes up… fixing the house, lawn, car… I wouldnt have it any other way. I love being a mother and wife and everything that goes along with it. I also love being a business owner. So I get the best of both worlds
Less aggravating to do it myself than to argue about it, than when he does it its half assed lol
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My husband Does Dishes he does laundry. He vacuums he does. He cleans he rearranges Furniture. He puts the laundry away without me telling him. He just knows to do it and he doesn’t I’m so lucky.
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And I think all men should know all this.
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When I first moved in with my husband I did almost all of the cleaning. I didn’t mind and it wasn’t much to keep up with. Well 3 kids later it’s not so easy and I definitely need help and he delivers. I just let him know it was getting to much for me to keep up with on my own and he had no problem stepping in and helping. Now I don’t even have to ask. He works and I’m a stay at home mom but he gets weekends off. So every Saturday he wakes up and starts in the kitchen, then he scrubs the bathrooms and picks up the living room. If hes still in the mood he will clean the kids bedroom and our bedroom. I dont even ask it’s just what he does now and all I do is laundry in turn. During the week i take care of most of the cleaning but he will do dishes most of the time throughout the week. So my advice would be just tell him straight up you need his help and here’s what he needs to do. If he don’t help out I’d stop washing his clothes or doing any cleaning up of his. He will eventually have no choice than.
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My husband’s ex wife never cleaned the house, cooked for the family, shopped for the family, etc. She didnt work and stayed home with the kids. He was always the one that cleaned and cooked for the kids so it is habit now. I shop, and take care of bills and things like that. We both cook. I’m lucky I think 
Every time I see a women complaining about her husband it makes me sad. Settle down at least you have one who gives a shit enough to even help you.
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I’ve been with my husband for ten years. We share household responsibilities but there are certain things he does and certain things I do. For example, he takes out the trash/recyclables, cleans the litter box, empties the kitchen sink “nasty trap” thing & cleans the toilet bowl (only the bowl, doesn’t wipe down the actual toilet- were working on that😅). I’m always the one to do the dishes, fold the laundry and sweep & mop the floors. I’m also the one to do the daily cleaning (like pick up toys) and pack lunches. He cooks dinner just about every night. That doesn’t mean he never does the tasks I generally do and vice versa. If there’s a few dishes in the sink, he’ll wash them especially if he dirtied them. I think what I’m getting at is we have certain chores we consider ourselves responsible for but if we see something that needs to be done, we do it. In our marriage, we’re all about being aware of each other’s feelings and if he isn’t following his usual routine of cooking dinner, I’ll order dinner for us or put a frozen pizza in the oven. You don’t know what the other persons day was like unless you were in their shoes
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To everyone saying she’s being unfair, she’s not. I’m actually pretty sure it’s common sense that if you see housework that needs to be done, just do it. He’s not a child, he shouldn’t be asked to help out with basic things that adults should be doing. Especially if he sees his wife struggling to complete it all.
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