Oh boy … talk to him , read the messages I mean does he seem sketchy if you were to ask? I wouldn’t show up at his work (that’s a lil high school for me). He’s your husband just be blunt know that’s your man… Talk to him ask him… say eh man I’m your wife feeling a LiL unloved over here…
I’ll tell him not to disrespect you . You are his wife and mother of his children . That’s number 1!
2. Ask him directly if there is something going on .
3 . If nothing changes after a few weeks I’ll talk co parenting and leave .
You and your children deserve better .
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Your man is a grade A asshole maam.
He’s having an affair with her. Leave his ass.
Please go ahead and seperate. He is already screwing around on you.
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So many red flags, this is a bad situation
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Red flags for sure. U need to talk to him about it find out what’s going on. Don’t leave it to long.
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Oh yeah he’s cheating. If not physically yet then emotionally.
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I would of already left…then again i dont play much games you got a year can’t fix it we through. Kids or no kids i will find a man to treat me like he is treating his coworker/partner/friend/yes girl he sounds like a damn cheater wake up get proof and get out it! Co-parent and thats it as much as it hurts how much more can you take?! You should be happy too! Yoir kids should see a happy mother whose dad stepdaddy or not loves and adores only her t home!
Wait what? Why are you even asking kick him tf out!
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Go with your gut on this one
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My heart sank as I read this, I know the feeling. TRUST YOUR GUT!!!
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Well it could go either way. He could be cheating or He’s excited about developing a new business for himself and his family, the not abandoning her points to loyalty as you don’t want your business partner fucking off with the first sign of a better opportunity. The not talking about her as much may point to maybr concern for your feelings. Working late nights… rome wasn’t built in a day. If you’ve previously mentioned maybe wanting better boobs or to lose weight although said in a jerk like way his intentions were to give you what you want to feel good about you. He also is distracted with a new adventure. Maybe sit him down and bring him back to level ground and be apart of his adventure. I don’t know how long you two have been together but sometimes the excitement fizzles, and we all look for ways to feel that excitement again whether at work or in some cases, yes finding another, his may be by planning a future and becoming career orientated to give you two what he see’s as a better future. Just talk to him. Sometimes we do get so caught up in the new excitement that we forget what our priorities are. It’s your job as a partner to remind him. I know it’s hard to not over think a situation like this but stay strong love. We don’t know him or of your relastionship so to be honest our advice shouldn’t be taken to heart. No man is the same and you married him for a reason.
Emotionally cheating…fuck that.
Sounds like you need to either tell him whats up or leave. Hes disrespecting you on so many levels and sounds like hes got a crush thing going on. If it we’re me id either of asked to see the messages or snooped(not a good thing but i never said it was healthy) myself.
Like hell no my feelings would be hurt id be telling him I wanna divorce
They’re sleeping together.
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Have you talked to him about how you feel? I would start there. Also start planning lunch and dinner dates with him and tell him when you are uncomfortable. Don’t fight and argue with him about it just let him know how you’re feeling, if he tries to start an argument then that’s all you need to know that it’s over. If he can’t accommodate you and your needs and feelings then it’s probably time to move on.
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Surprise lunch with both of them and bring it up 
the look on their faces should give you your answer 🤷
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I would straight up ask if they’re having an affair. No point of waiting around to find out the hard way if he is. And start worrying about yourself and less on him regardless if he says he is or isn’t. Don’t lose your happiness for anyone. Do what makes you happy. There’s men out there who love a curvy woman so don’t even sweat it, but don’t make yourself feel bad over it. I would say if he ends up wanting to be with her, let her keep him. No way in hell you should fight over your own husband’s attention. Time is no stranger to anyone. She’ll eventually get old and there’s going to be young beautiful women around so who knows if he’ll stay faithful to her for long either.
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Sounds like he’s having an affair.
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First of all, a man turns down a promotion to be with another woman… honey wake up and smell the coffee!!! It is burning. Walk away since he’s not man enough to tell you, he has someone else. DON’T LOOK BACK!!
BE STRONG, SWEETIE 
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That made my stomach hurt. I’m sorry. I would ask him straight up. 
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I would feel the same way you do. One thing I have learned is to always trust your gut. The red flag is blowing in the wind. When you do talk to him he will try to make it seem like you are crazy for thinking that way. Your self love is so important at times like this
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Oh yeah, something is going on, but not work!!!
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I’d leave him… NO way id be ok with any of that…! He’s giving/getting attention else where obviously… "definitely not saying you don’t give him attention ". But if he’s that wrapped up in a coworker… I’d be out!! If things were the other way around, I’m sure he wouldn’t be ok with you doing those things! Sorry your going threw this But leave his sorry ads behind!
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She, the Co worker, better at least know about you in his life and if she don’t then it sounds like he’s hiding something to me. Sorry you are going through this 
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Wake up smell the coffee! Affair
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Surprise him at work…
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Surprise his ass at work, and how he treats you in front of her, you’ll know.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Honey I think he’s already left you
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I would leave. Kick him out. Get a divorce. What an absolute toxic asshole. You don’t need him. Do you and forget him. Find someone who will appreciate you for you.
Mentally he has checked out. I’m so sorry girl
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You know what’s going on you dont need this site validate.
Why dont you do a surprise of your own . Show up on a late night. Throw a GPS under the seat of his car … do a pop up
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To me it sounds as if hes already moving on because there is no way in hell my partner would do that to me you don’t deserve that ! You deserve better confront him about it honestly and do yourself up Make yourself feel better about how your feeling always good for some me time can’t suffer like that not worth hurting over some one like him if he loved you he wouldn’t ever talk to you that way!
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Sounds strange to me… maybe you should doll yourself up and get a job and be happy for yourself if your husband is caught up with this young woman something is brewing on his side. Better still girl go and introduce yourself to her but look very professional see what she does … cause I know your husband will panic
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Sounds like he’s getting involved at work. That’s not a good thing.
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Be your own detective. Read his messages including email. If you can afford it theirs spy trackers you can put on his phone with out him knowing. Pop up at his job unexpectedly at different ones on random days. Drive to where he says he will be to see if he is actually there and who he is with
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Stop playing in the puddle. Why do people be so stupid to ask what they should do… Take the weight loss pills wtf what else… Leave…
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Divorce him and take all his money. Get some weight loss pills and your boobs done!!! WTF!!! I would have castrated my husband for saying such nasty shit. Obviously he is having an affair if not a physical one than an emotional one and that’s worse in my book. Leave him!
Show up at his job out of know where then make sly move to meet this woman. Intimidate her with your presence then give her hurtful hand shake pull her close with it and look her dead in the eye as if you mean business.
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I’d do things for yrself , and start having a life yrself , U get a babysitter and go out with yr friends ,go do yr favourite hobby etc ,and when U not focusing on him much he will either realise shit U got a life , or if anything is going on with him and co worker U will not need an answer cause it will be there in front of U , live for yrself girl n yr children , some guys think it greener on other side but really it ain’t , and some females don’t know when to back of from taken men ,they always try get what they shouldn’t have
She’s his new fling. Run, don’t walk.
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Sweetheart that man’s spirit has left you…
His not ashamed to speaking about her and what They will do together he has no respect for you
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I would leave because sooner than later he will leave!! Sounds like an affair to e is going on now!!!
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I think he’s told you everything you need to know. No need to inquire, hire an investigator, pop up at work, nothing. “They’re going to…” Let that sink in. You’re not any part of the equation.
I’d be quiet, serve him divorce papers and on your way out the door say, “Hope it was worth it. I’ll see you in court.”
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He is telling you everything you need to know
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You might as well face reality or having an affair if not already mentally they are he’s already gone mentally and doesn’t want to be with you physically it’s time for you to take care of you and move on
Hunny I hate to break it to ya but they are in a Real Relationship and your now the 3rd wheel time to cut losses. Work on you girl and do you. I am overweight 330lbs and 5’7 and my husband has done this I left him. After 20years together and 3 kids I left him. I did not want my little boys thinking that’s how you treat a woman that once you find something new you just leave the other behind. Um no I left him and he came back gradually coming over to see the kids the leaving, he kept telling me “I fucked up, I’m sorry I hurt you I didn’t even think about you but now I realize I can’t live without you. I will do whatever it takes to get you back and to gain your trust and to never lose it again. I promise I only want you and our family for the rest of our lives.” Yes we are back together our youngest is 3 and this happened right after he was born. The problem isn’t you its him. So don’t blame yourself if your spouse cheats its nothing you did so dont let them say that to you they just wanted something else new and exciting.
I would be getting those divorce papers ready! 
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Even if he hadn’t physically done anything hes emotionally cheating. Fuck that… I’d just move on. I’d be so angry
First thing I would do would be talk to him. It drives me crazy that all these people are saying get out now, get a divorce, he’s cheating no doubt about it but they DONT KNOW and they are fueling the anxiety you already have about the situation. Talk to him like an adult don’t sneak around. Be upfront with him and if you think something is going on after you speak about it and you decide to leave then at least you did the adult thing and had an adult conversation about it. You can leave with the knowledge that you were upfront and honest about your feelings.
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He’s cheating girl, if not already it’s in the works
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I’m so sorry I know that has to hurt. The best thing to do is maybe talk to him but idk I would say mostly pay attention, be patient don’t let your anger or fear get you because IF he is having an affair or considering it and he’s already okay with some of the things he says to you about what “they” are going to do together then he will eventually tell on himself. MAYBE start making your plans to leave financially, even emotionally but I’m not saying he is cheating I am just a play it safe kind of woman like that.
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I’m sorry but there are signs and not good ones. You need to get your own life back up to par. I don’t know if you have kids but I wld advise you to get your own life. Begin with a hairstyle, a spa, exercise and weight loss. Not to attract him, for YOU. go back to school, get a life of your own. Then if he decides to move on, you have to. You are still young and have much to offer. I’m not discounting your hurt but you need to spark yourself up for you.
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Warn him and then Call his company. They won’t condone this. You can’t lose more than you’ve already lost.
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Why do people always just assume he’s cheating having a affair move on.
It could be they just work very well together and inspire each other so what, as long as he is coming home on time and is being there for you chances are nothing is going on.
I would talk to him and let him know its making you feel uncomfortable and see if reassures its all about making a better future for you and him.
In other words talk to him about what’s going on.
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I would have an honest conversation with him but it does sound like something is going on…whether it be an emotional affair or physical one. Communication with him and not a bunch of random people on the internet will tell you though. 🤷
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Talking to him won’t work, he will just deny it and then stop letting you know what’s going on with them. I’d surprise that MF at work. Say you came to take him out for lunch and see if her and him were having lunch together.
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Get to the bank first!
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His actions speak…
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Oh that’s awful. Just leave beaut. The way he spoke to you is enough of a reason. I’m so sorry
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If he’s not cheating now it’s bound to happen soon WALK AWAY
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Trust your instincts. If you feel something is up or off, it probably is. My husband had a relationship with someone he worked with as well. He needs to know where you stand, as a woman, as his wife, not crazy/jealous like some guys like to say when these things are brought up. And he needs to be mindful of your feelings, that’s what spouses do.
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He’s having an affair with her, better get your ducks in a row and get a good lawyer.
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He’s building a life with her, not you
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Can you spell divorce? So obviouse hun…he has is eyes on the girl at work. For him to be acting that way is really wrong…you need to move on from him…that is absoutly disrespectful to you. You need to leave him and go be happy with someone who will love you so much and appriacte you. I am so sorry your going through this…
The whole thing is sad… the red flags are there and you pointed them out yourself. The weight loss and boob comment?! I’d suggest a plan to leave- I’m sorry for how you’re being treated.
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Invite her over to your house for dinner. See how that goes.
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Men always think the grass is greener on the other side…
Get your name off any joint accounts …
Get your ducks in a row …
Your life is about to change…
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Wonder if this fake news
Wow! You’re in a really tough spot. You have choices here:
- You can stay and ride it out. Let him do his thing, watch him, take notes of what he’s doing and saying and wait to see if this thing with this girl blows over and he return to his normal self. You shouldn’t change who you are for him. If you want to make a change, do it for you. Men get caught up with women and they don’t realize it until they’re in too far and can’t come back and at that point he will leave you for her or he will realize that you and his kids mean more to him than her. At the at point if he already had a real affair you will either have to forgive him and go to counseling to repair the damage or divorce him for his bad choices. I’m sorry but talking to him won’t help, he won’t snap out of it until he’s ready. it will just make your life harder, more painful and he will shit you out.
- Confront him! Tell him how you feel, draw clear boundaries for him like “I don’t appreciate the relationship you have with this girl. You are married to me and I deserve respect. I don’t agree that you turned down a promotion to stay with her and how you go out of your way for her. I don’t know where you are when you are out late. If you aren’t willing to be accountable to me, put yourself in my shoes if the tables were flipped then let me know now because I can’t live this way. It isn’t fair to me or our family”. Of you choose this road you better be ready to walk away, separate and take your kids. See, here’s the thing: he has poor boundaries and that’s where the issue is. If this girl quit the job and he never saw her again that wouldn’t solve the issue because the next pretty girl will entice him.
Hope this makes sense! Good luck, I’ve been in your shoes already. PM me if you need more support
Sounds like he hasn’t cheated but hes infatuated with her. I like the post above that says do the changes for yourself and dont tell him. I 1 million percent agree. When you are confident and happy you will see what you need to do
I don’t know if he’s cheating but the fact that he made a comment about getting you diet pills and a boob job is just wrong! He’s obviously infatuated with this woman and he’s trying to change you to be more like “her”.
My ex husband used to tell me when to stop eating so I would lose weight and tell me he wants me to get a boob job since after kids I wasn’t quite so perky. It was not good for my mental health. He would always compare me to other women and trying to live up to those expectations were impossible and exhausting. I left. I found someone who loves me, my mom bod and all plus he has been more of a father to my kids than my ex.
Be honest with him. Ask if he’s happy with you or if he’s searching for something more. If he’s making plans with this other woman then he at least owes you the truth so you’re not wasting your time. You deserve better than that.
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Oh girl. You need to go. Don’t stick around for that mess. I’ll go ahead and tell you that the relationship they are having isn’t gonna last forever. So don’t be second.
Good grief, what are you waiting for?? Pack and get out!!
Doesn’t sound good sweety.
The handwriting is on the wall.
Shit the handwriting is on the wall.
Divorce him now before he spends all of your money on his business adventure.
Its so obvious sweet heart…call him out… or folow him… shit i wouldnt be ashamed.to.follow someone to catch them in the act… you spend all your hours taking care of him and this ks what he does… nuh uh no sir… get some strong evidence.and leave his ass…
You should try a marriage counseling to tell. Him how you are feeling. If he doesn’t go or if it doesn’t help you relationship then you need to just back out a start a new life while you can because you deserve to be happy. Like my mother told me you can do bad all by yourself.
Unfortunately, this is not uncommon at work, especially in fields dominated by men. They spend all day working with or near a very few, often attractive and very intelligent young women. Sparks fly, and let’s face it…more waking hours are spent at work than at home… From the diet pill and bubby comments, it seems that there are underlying issues to be dealt with. If he is messing around with her, or hoping to mess around with her, it is a symptom of the problem, not the root cause of the problem. Sit down, and think back…and you can probably pinpoint the actual issue(s) and when the issue(s) began. Have a meanngful 1-1 conversation with him. Warning comes before destruction…
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Trust your gut and go find someone who values you!
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He’s either cheating with her or flirting with the idea of cheating with her. Sorry to be so blunt but your probably on your way out. Might be a good idea to start financially planning for it
I think you know what’s going on - I’d call him on it and f*** him for saying you need weight loss pills and a boob job! If he’s not willing to stop - find a new job with no contact with her then you need to decide what you are willing to accept or not. Divorce is not easy but working through an affair could be harder - I’m sorry you are going through this. Oh and I’d start showing up at his job unannounced 
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Let him know how this is making you feel and , that you don’t appreciate how he is giving her more attention than he does you, also are you friends with her as well? If so then you should let her know there are boundaries you don’t cross with married men! If things don’t change then maybe you should think about separation !
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Ummm HELLO???!
First things first. Yes he is already cheating!
Second, get all your financial documents together. Look everywhere! (Dont let him know) play it cool.
Third, get the best lawyer your hubby can pay for!
Fourth, live the best life you can And, be happy!
PS don’t worry about “weight loss” or “boobs” you are beautiful just the way you are!
You got this!
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Tell him what you have just told us! If he is still the same then I would suggest taking a break or marriage counseling. I personally would not have let things go on for so long without saying anything. I pray yall can find peace
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Before you jump to leave…get your ducks, finances, valuables and everything else in a row. Talk to a lawyer and see what your rights are. Make an inventory of everything you own. Play it cool until you get this done then squeeze his nuts in a vice grip.
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Um, making plans with another woman? You know what he’s doing, you just can’t admit it yet. If he hasn’t slept with her, yet, it will happen. He’s already started an emotional relationship with her. I’d pop up at his job and see what’s going on. Just be prepared for what you’d see.
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I’m so sorry! Go with your gut please. But talk first to him.
I don’t think you really needed advice. You just wanted to be sure other women agree with what you really know is happening here. And it appears we all agree. He is cheating on you right in front of you and you act like it’s okay so he’s just going to keep it up. I don’t see much hope for your marriage at this point. So sorry…
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You do not have to or should be putting up with this terrible behavior ! You need to get him out…work through it if he does a 180, but yours being treated as NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED !!
Private investigator! Get your photo proof! Check emails, text, calls on your phone bill! Get prepared with an attorney because this dude is fixing to leave!
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He may not be physically doing her as in got it in… yet… but hes definitely emotionally cheating on you in front of your face! Sometimes that’s worse.
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I was put through something very similar to this and about a year later he lefted me for her my ex told me he was going fishing with a friend but really he moved out without me knowing had me believing he was going fishing when really he moved in with his friend I didn’t find out until 4 days later that he lefted me and moved out about a week later he was living with this girl and they had something going on the entire time he was talking highly about her he was bring her special candy that she liked and had in his phone get Angie to lik me that is girl who he lefted me for they also worked together.
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Trust your gut and act accordingly.
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Go on that diet if you want to and get that boob job if you want to. But do not just sit there and whimper while she takes your husband. Go to school with them in the same car and same classes if you want to better your education and you be a part of the new business. Put everything in your name and then tell him he can do what he wants to do. Meet with the other woman and confront her strongly if you want him. And yes you can already be 99.9/10’s sure that he has and is sleeping with her. She wants what you have, fight to keep it. If you fail to keep him, he leaves with nothing.
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He told you straight to your face what he thinks of you he told you he would get you weight loss pills and a boob job! He is making plans with her when he doesn’t make plans for you and him. I would be getting my business in order so you have money, a place to go, etc.!! He may not have done anything with her physical yet, but I can guarantee he has certainly thought about it.
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Don’t ever give into another woman trying to steal your husband. She wants to take your place. Don’t let her do it. I’d just have an affair just like he is. Charge up all his credit cards on you and the kids, Take a loan against the house and go gamble it all away. Make him so indebted that he will not be able to afford her.
Ok. So no one is telling you to be in prayer. BE IN PRAYER. Talk with your husband. Share with him how you feel. Pray specifically, as in he only wants you. No feelings for any other woman but you. Watch War Room. Plug in and dig in with God.
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