I am my husbands second wife and I’m struggling with that fact his my first husband and hopefully only but I get referred too as the second marriage a lot. His ex and I share the exact same birthday and I’m constantly mixed up with her the year is different she’s older but date and month are the same so whenever I go to our hospital or doctor office they ask surname date of birth and middle name we share that as well I immediately mixed me up with her. They have zero children and we have 2 sons. It’s been years and it’s still happening and I hate it so much. I have to drive past the beautiful location where they were married daily as I take my kids to school and he married me in a dining room like literally a dining room with dogs barking in the background the whole time I could barely hear the words spoken. I’ve suggested we do a vow renewal but he tells me no it’s pointless we are already married. It’s so embarrassing and I’ve had enough I don’t want to compare myself and my marriage but it’s getting impossible not too. She still wears the ring his mom pointed that lovely fact out. Where my ring unfortunately 5 years later I’m still waiting for. I don’t want to end my marriage but I feel like that’s she’s impacting everything we do as husband and wife. He kept talking to her for the first 2 years of our relationship inappropriately so. Then stop when I said I’m leaving you this isn’t okay. Lied about a lot regarding her. And even hung on to a lot of her belongings I would find clothes in the house we brought together in boxes and he would immediately say he totally forgot he packed them etc We’re military so we are nowhere near where she lives I don’t think his cheating and I met him 2 years after they divorced so I don’t understand why she’s still relevant. It’s killing me I love him but I can’t keep living in someone else’s shadow
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am constantly reminded of my husbands first marriage - Mamas Uncut
hes not over her & neither is his family… yall have kids, thats enough to keep him there with you… otherwise, hes not present in the marriage…
First middle and last name is the exact same and DOB exact same other than the year??? Wow talk about one in a million!
The last part of this post it sounds like your husband isn’t over his ex. The part about doctors that isn’t his fault. Idk if he realized things like a ring and wedding isn’t what matters that the relationship does or if he just wasn’t as into you as his first. That’s something you would know better. If you aren’t happy then do what you need to do.
Can I please ask is you marriage legal since either was in a kitchen dining room just asking
I bet he would remember the date to pay his child support on. But Time, Time to move to a completely different area or state.
Sounds like YOU are not over his EX wife.
Stop comparing your self and your marriage to hers/thiers.
Circumstances can always be different, obviously you don’t or shouldn’t want what they had…THEIRS ENDED be different, have a long healthy marriage and only focus on what you 4 have not anyone else.
Wow same bday? Sounds like he is not over her! Better get counseling . Talk to him. Ask him how he would like it if the situation was reversed. And it was him having to go with this with your ex???
girl, I am not gonna sugar coat this. Either you need to leave, get therapy and find someone who will value you or you need to INSIST that BOTH of you see a therapist both individually AND together if he wants to make this work. And you NEED to set some damned boundaries with his family and ESPECIALLY his mother. At the end of the day, you have a choice: staying in a one sided marriage and teaching your boys that this is okay or, as painful as it would be, leaving, healing properly WITH HELP and finding someone who will TRULY VALUE YOU and give YOU what YOU deserve, which is NOT happening now. I am not gonna say that it is hopeless YET, but it is NOT gonna get better unless AT MINIMUM you BOTH get some counselling both together AND separately. And find a marriage counsellor that will treat YOUR MARRIAGE as the client, NOT just one of the two of you.
It’s sounds like your the one that got in the middle of them two not trying to be rude . Sounds like he was never over her. And as for wedding and having no ring you allowed all that you must have agreed to all that also .I think you need to revaluate everything and figure out what’s best for you and your kids
Is like Ben Afleck
Jennifer X Jenifer
What an odd same birthdate and month!
Meaning he won’t ever forget his ex wife. Just saying
Sounds like you are not over it. And honestly there is no reason a hospital should be mixing you up unless you have the same first name as well. And even then they should be confirming with ID or ssn. But I really feel like YOU are the one constantly comparing yourself to her.
This is what settling looks like
Sounds like you’ve compromised a lot and he doesn’t value your wishes and needs. If it is a ring and vow renewal you want then you deserve it. I understand it probably isn’t about either thing being fancy or anything. It is about having those pieces and moments to treasure and I would probably be mad too. Especially, the ring. I have a cheap wedding set and I am fine with that but I needed something because it is an important symbol of marriage to me.
You are not wrong to feel the way you do BUT you need to go into counseling. It would be better if he would go also. This way you can navigate how to deal with this. It sounds like his family still likes the first wife if they keep bringing it up. I would also tell him you want a ring for both of you. I am not sure why you hurried and married in a dining room unless he was getting ready to deploy and I can see that. Remember most men do not care about weddings. That is a female thing and most likely he figures that since he married you that is good enough. One also has to wonder why the first marriage failed.
I’m confused how you drive past where he married his ex every day taking your kids to school, but yet you’re military and don’t live anywhere near the woman?
Huh really 
not good at all
Not going through as as much as this but I am going through the “ex” bs, I’m over it
As I see it toy got 2 options, either leave because it’s hurting u that much or 2nd put your foot down and tell him to man tf and act like ur husband or ur gone… bc really that shit shouldn’t be tolerated by any female… period
Honestly… If that were me I would of ended it the moment he said dining room wedding and didn’t have a ring 
… but your a bit far in babe I suggest councilling before ending it xx
This is something I would be loud and clear about. Tell him and her im not her, I will never be. Im not “second marriage” I am wife. Im not going to let any one chose when I am happy. I would have him get the ring and show her together that you are his wife, the mother of his children and she is irrelevant. I wouldnt put up with it. If he wants her to keep the ring than you need to find out for what reason? That should have been given back its way past due.
I would get rid of her shit a long time ago. He definitely needs to get you a damn ring and marry you properly because that’s what you deserve. I would also tell him I don’t want to hear her name around me at all.
You have to know he is your husband and loves you not her, that’s why they aren’t together.
He loves you but always keep your voice heard. 
Not sure if there is even a choice g go or us to comment on here.
If you’re communicating fully your needs and concerns about the marriage, then you’ve got a few important things missing in this relationship.
1.) No real wedding in your mind-he could care less.
2.) No wedding ring-he’s leaving you waiting going on 5 years.
3.) You’ve given him two children(sons)-she never did.
4.) You’re living in ‘Their’ house-he’s fine with it.
5.) Your Mother-in-Law seems to still favor his Ex.
6.) He still has some of her things after seven years…he wants the attachment.
You can’t win, unless you’re willing to put yourself first, and demand he does too. From what I can see here, he isn’t willing or able to do that. He’s still got her on his mind.
If you want to keep this marriage…
**Gather all of what’s left of her things and ship it back to her if it’s possible. Otherwise, tell her your willing to donate it for her if she doesn’t want to get them.
**Plan a Vow renewal ceremony and invite only close Family and Friends.
**Go buy yourself a wedding ring that you want.
**Start looking for a new place to live-You can’t continue to walk in their house and feel it’s a part of you.
**He won’t respect or individualize your marriage with ‘her’ shadow following you wherever you go in that town and home. You might have to move out of that house and request another one if living on Base.
Sounds like you need to have a very long talk with him about everything the way you are feeling the way his first marriage is making you feel… the way you share the same birthday, surname & date of birth everything is getting to you and stressing you out but you are comparing yourself when you have to remember he isn’t with her, he didn’t have kids with her but if they aren’t married anymore she doesn’t need to still have his last name and you also need to stand up for yourself whenever his family refers to you as “ the second marriage” just reply with yes I may be his second marriage but you can stop referring to me as the second marriage, you are his wife now.
You can’t help the past and how it happened, you will have to find a way to move past your husband being married before otherwise it will ruin your marriage because that’s all you will be thinking about.
What do you mean inappropriately talking to her? Need more info on that to comment. Like was he just texting her and talking to her? Was it about sex, their past? As for belongings, he could be telling the truth. He might not have even realized it wasn’t your belongings. I’ve found things of my exes that were shoved in boxes and I forgot to toss. But when I found them, I did toss them. My husband’s ex has found things belonging to him that was packed away in boxes she hadn’t gone through in years… it happens.
You’ll always be the second wife. There’s no escaping that. The fact remains he was indeed married before you. I am a second wife. My mom is a second wife. My step mom is a second wife (obvi). My dad’s family still mentions my mom, my husband’s family still mentions his ex… my parents still mention my brother’s ex wife… as well as my ex…
Unfortunately the ex spouse was a part of their life just as she was his. We might not like it, but can’t change it because we chose to marry a man with a past… with an ex wife…
It seems to me that you can’t let his past go, you keep dwelling on what she got and what you didn’t instead of appreciating him and what you have together - a marriage and children. Your insecurities are showing and it’s reflecting in your relationship. You need to figure out how to move on from that before it ruins your relationship.
As for the wedding, you chose to marry him in the dining room and now you’re regretting it… A huge wedding doesn’t make the marriage last… The two of you do…
*Husband and ex wife - wedding cost $25k, her ring was $4k… married 5 years.
Husband and I - Got married at a pastor’s house for $50. Marriage license was $25. My ring cost $20, husband’s cost $35. Married 15 years.
Husband is on his second marriage with me now. NEVER even considers bringing Her up out of shear respect for Me.
Be blunt, let Him know that it’s that kind of respect that you require.
No woman deserves to have to hear about Her husbands exes unless kids are involved. You got this Girl, It’s time for a test. If He can feel your hurt, and see the toll it’s taking on you when you explain it, then He is either gonna be super honest or super apologetic.
You dont need a ring, you have the man. You have kids together and a life together, take the rest with a grain of salt. You’ll only get yourself worked up.
I would be quite blunt to anyone that should know better than to mix the two of you up. The ex should not be wearing the ring still, thats yuck.
Woow why did you even marry him. You settled for less then you deserve.
Pretty crazy he married the same woman 2 times… astrology… years apart… but same … lol
Why on earth would you get married in a dining room…you obviously said yes and it but now your not happy you did it …i would have picked a place at keast with beautiful flowers like a park…so that means you didnt get engaged either because no rings …thats a no for me…sounds like a rushy wedding…why would ex still be wearing herv ings weird
It sounds more like you are holding onto her, not your husband. They’re divorced, they don’t speak to each other, they don’t even live close enough to see each other. You have his ex wife on the brain, that’s why you get confused and give her information at the doctor’s office. He’s not the one pointing out little reminders of her, that’s you again.
Feel free to tell your mother in law you don’t want to hear about his ex wife at all and if she can’t respect that boundary then there’s no point in being around her at all.
Your husband was married before he married you, it’s not a crime and it’s definitely not something done personally to you. You said he brought some of her things into the house, did he keep those things? It’s not unheard of for people to keep things, some are just sentimental like that. But if he still has them, tell him you want them gone. I understand him not wanting a wedding and I understand you wanting something special. The wedding doesn’t determine the marriage, just because hers was nicer doesn’t mean you’re any less married to him or that he’s not happy with you.
I would be upset about not having the ring 5 years later and I would also be upset about not being given anything on my birthday.
Why not look into a couples therapy to help you both solve these issues?
So she still has a ring but you have none??
My birthday is mine, I’ve dated a few people who had exes with the same date….not year…I’ve got self confidence enough to get over the ex. It seems like you’re the one fixated (but I would have a ring and a vowel renewal) and I have done so. Either you’re both all in or all out. It’s beyond time for you to be the alpha female! Let him see that you’re not second best by embracing your differences. I’m my husbands 2nd wife. And I can assure you that he would alienate everyone he knows to say that I’m the “right” wife
why are you still with him, when he’s obviously still with his first? smh. i wish you luck and Godspeed.
Leave him. He’sneeds to respect you and get acting and listen to your needs. He shouldn’t be holding onto any of his ex’s stuff clear sign he still loves her…do it!!!
Hun you’re going to have to get past your insecurities. You keep comparing yourself to his first wife. Don’t do that. If drs offices are mixing y’all up then go back to your maiden name. As for your mil tell her how you feel when she talks about her ex dil then if she doesn’t stop distance yourself from her
Why worry about useless stuff? They might have married at a beautiful venue but there was no love,and the marriage didn’t even last. You might share a middle name,a birthday or whatsoever,that doesn’t mean a thing…you are his wife and he loves you. Remember dear,he shares a bed with you every single night while she’s far away, maybe even single. They might talk on the phone but that doesn’t mean a thing. And you are not living under her shadow,she is the one who envies you because she’s still holding on to the past. You are the future and she is the past…Don’t forget that babe
Nothing you’ve said reflects your husband or relationship. This is all your own insecurities and most likely exaggerations. At the most, he needs to update DEERS and confirm his ex is no longer linked to him as a dependant.
Same dob, middle and presumably last name -makes sense y’all get confused at drs offices. That has nothing to do with your relationship. That has to do with complacent staff skimming the name and DOB and not realizing the year is off.
Everything else is all you.
Seems to me that YOU are the one with the problems, you are the one comparing and complaining about everything, you are comparing your marriage with her , even the fact that your wedding wasn’t “ special and cute “ as hers bothers you.
You feel less than her and that’s is ALL ON YOU , not your husband or his ex.
You should get help
Wth? Military or not you should not have to deal with that. Donate those clothes to the clothes pantry, on post second hand store ect. Armed forces I understand are not paid that much but even a Walmart ring is better than none. I got engaged with no ring and was happy. The ring isn’t even the bigger issue even though the mother of his children should have one. Exs are that for a reason. Why still contact with no kids? His mom is not helping. You need to have a huge talk. I can see talking with kids involved but an ex still wearing their ring with no kids is a big no for me personally. Venues are nothing in my opinion. Mine was a JOP and love it to this day 21 years later. Our witnesses were drunk engineers on leave at the time. She needs to back off. He needs to cut it off. You being his wife makes you number one. If they cannot get that then do what you think is necessary. I’ve seen a lot of nasty in the military life. I’m praying for you.
everyone is where they want to be, and everyone is with whom they want to be! If he wants, he can leave, so you. But you still together right? So 
. Dont pay attention to that, pay attention to you! Your insecurities, your feelings and all that. And yes, maybe he needs to forget all about the ex lol.
But ur with him now:heart:….& she’s not!..so stop fixating over her….but get a wedding ring sorted like ASAP…put ur foot down on that 
…big hug 
xx
Are u still at hospital
First, don’t compare yourself to his EX wife. She is a Ex for a reason. You’re his wife and the mother of his children. As far as where you two were married, he possibly married her in a fancy place, but you seen that didn’t last. You married him in a family setting, which to me is more intimate, and your biggest issue is being called by his ex wifes name when you go to appointments. Have them update it by SS# and remove his ex wife from the medical profile that links to you and your husband. Best wishes for you and your family!!
A lot of what you’ve written leaves us wondering. Couldn’t she have kids is my question?
How do you drive by where they got married if y’all are military and don’t live near her? Just wondering… You’re the one comparing, not him. And you chose to stay even tho he was talking to her behind your back, you chose to accept a proposal without a ring, you chose to get married where you did, and I’m sure you knew y’all shared the same birthday. Those things are all okay, but you have to remember it was a decision to do that stuff. You’ve gotta move past the insecurities for your own sanity babe or just move on with your life
Not good. You should have a ring. He should want what makes you happy and renew your vows. Write a letter or see your doctor to have this down in the notes so it stops happening. It’s not on. I can understand why you feel this way, and I’m a complete stranger, so should he. Also, how is his mother able to point rings out to you? They have no children, why is she still around? Stand up for yourself here. You shouldn’t have to but he just isn’t listening. But, I also agree with what some others have said, you also need to make peace with it all to a degree. Don’t let it make you insecure. If he meets you half way and does something to make you feel less insecure, which he should. Like renew your vows. You need to promise to let it go. It is all very well, people saying don’t be so insecure but sometimes we are made to feel this way too. Good luck. Xx
WOW!! Talk about having a type…
I find it very eerie that he chose a woman with the same name and birthday as his ex wife . It does sound like he’s still abit hung up on her and was trying to find another her when found you. I think you both need to ait and have a serious conversation about this I would also insist on a wedding ring thats something else I find very strange that he hasn’t got you a wedding ring and is unbothethered that you don’t wear one.
You met him 2 years after their divorce, but he continued an inappropriate relationship with her for the first 2 years of y’alls relationship? 
Sounds/Seems like you’re a just a replacement for him not being able to have her. Did she leave him? Can’t imagine living in this relationship and ever feeling like his #1/real wife.
You are going to drive yourself crazy.
That’s something you need to make peace with and move on.
You knew this and continued to move forward in the relationship.
If there’s something you need from your relationship, make that happen.
Renew your vows and have the wedding you want.
It’s hard being the second when it’s your first, I understand that and deal with it also.
Find peace and confidence in yourself, the rest will fall into place.
How would the hospital mix you up with different first names and birth years 
Exaggerate much?
I see so many of these posts and it honestly blows my mind how many of you stay with these “men” that literally talked to their ex while they were with you or cheated on you with. 
That on top of him not trying to make your marriage seem as special and important
Your hurting… not him. You need to let him know how much. He has no idea or he doesnt want to hear it. Its not worth losing a good marriage over as you have kids.
But seeinf it is hurting you. You need to make him realise. The ex really shouldn’t be in the picture still. As there are no kids.
Good luck.
You are allowing this feeling. Why are you embarrassed? Cherish what you have and quit comparing. You are putting yourself in her shadow.
I’d have left long ago! What a mess.
Wait….he cheated on you for 2 years and you married him?
I had a a similar problem at my Dr’s office. Not only do I share a name with my mother in law, but there is another woman there with my name. Whan I go in, I now (33years later), give my birthday & my maiden name. It stops a lot of confusion. Good luck
If they had no children why hasn’t she changed her name back to her maiden name out of respect to her ex,'s actual wife…I don’t think the ring wearing has anything to do with anything personally.
Sort your feelings either in therapy or self realization. Try to yess claim confidence in your relationship. Do not allow excessive discussions & comparisons about his former marriage colour your marriage. Tell him you are “ready to shop” for wedding ring & start showing him designs & styles. If not receptive to the ring idea, let him know you really want this & really hope he can understand that a ring is a symbol & a beautiful tradition you are ready to partake in. As far as the ex’s same birthday info, etc., this should be a funny moment to you where you realize " you got him now " lol & be 
happy !!!
Like maybe there was still some feeling there. Your first love is always the hardest to get over no matter how toxic it may have been in the end once upon a time he adored her, doesn’t mean he loves you any less. My partner doesnt want to get married, he said he’s done it once and it was the biggest regret of his life. I on the other hand want to get married, though he has children with his ex so we’ve had to compromise on when they are grown up we’ll discuss the idea as if we are married my wages would be considered in her maintenance and we have them 50% of the time and ahes already getting ¼ of his she ain’t robbing another penny! Men are stupid, they can’t read minds and don’t know how you feelw unless you tell them. You need to stand up for yourself, tell him you feel second place to his ex. He gave her a luxurious wedding and a beautiful ring, you had worse than a registery office wedding and still have no ring. You love him but can’t help feeling that he will never love you like he loved her. Tell him it needs to change. He might not want to renew the vows because he can’t see the point but you want that once in a lifetime experience of a special wedding and he should respect and love you enough to give it to you, he doesn’t care about a ring but you want that ring the symbol of your love. Tell him how you feel, how it hurts you and if he makes and excuse and brushes your feelings away, tell him you can’t be second best anymore and ask for a divorce. Your the wife you need to come first xx
Several issues here. Have a serious talk with him. Move in to a lawyer
why are you standing in her shadow and why was this happening before you married and you still chose to get married? renew vows ?, nope. why stay married to someone who hasn’t let go of the past? why renew vows with someone that has clearly thats not what they need or want. stop being the accuser. drop the blame game. when you talk together use words like “I feel like I” or “I feel like we”…using words like “I feel like you”, or “you did this or that”, or “you always do this, you always do that” is placing blame on the other person, making them defensive. a ring is a ring is a ring is a ring. I know lots of married couples that don’t wear rings. if a ring is what you need to signify he is your husband and you are his wife you have deeper issues than just an ex.
yes he is putting you second best…and knowing full well how you feel about your lounge wedding …still no ring…seems like he’s waiting for her to ask him back
Never allow yourself to stand in someone else’s shadow.
Step out and show him who he is missing.
Change your surname back to yours if it bothers you that much that you are mixed up a lot with his ex.
Go get that ring, be positive and happy. Show him that he’s missing out on an amazing life with you by clinging onto his ex.
Get rid of her stuff yourself. Why is it in your home with you and your children.
Change things for yourself and make yourself happy and things will fall into place, you’ll either have a better marriage or you’ll realise that maybe you guys are not suited.
Best of luck but always put yourself first, you deserve to be happy.
Sounds like these issues were present before you agreed to marry him in the dining room. Some of these things you chose to do and deal with, you need to either let go and deal with it, or leave 
You found him two years after there divorce and yet he still was messaging her for a the first 2 years of your relationship… Yet you still chose to marry him in a dining room. You accepted that then but not now? Sharing the birthday as the ex is kind of irrelevant. You have kids to this man and all your reasonings where once ok but now it’s too much. The grass ain’t always greener. My advice would be to have some personal councilling
You are letting it get to you. Did you agree to get married in a room in a house and you agreed to wait on a ring because you married him without it. You have to let it go and focus on your marriage.
Tolerance and downgrading your standards to suit “a catch Partner” these are the consequences. My advice sit him down and express your side. Indeed of a wedding ask for vow renewal. Tell him after two kids and all the moving u would like a big milestone centered among the 2 of u .
Here is what u need to tell yourself everyday. So what if she wears the ring? Its her loss she is missing out on finding a man, yes u Share the same Birthday but so does 10 15 more other people. Next time they mess your information up at the hospital drop the most petty comment make them uncomfortable. Some people do certain things to rattle u. Shake the damn cage. Heck ask how quick they can transfer your info to another clinic, and say if they can’t get your name right they might mess up your meds:rofl:
Give him a day to throw out all her stuff and a month to buy you your ring. Set dates for everything and if he doesn’t do it. Throw out the clothes and get a ring
I don’t usually say this but sounds like you feel second because he and his family want you to feel that way. I personally would move on, quickly. Your children know there’s something wrong. You can’t be a number one mom if you feel like a number two wife.
You should have walked out long ago he cheated for two years that’s insane
I’d. Bring. Up. The. Ring thing. at. Least ". What’s. His. Problem,. too. Cheap?
Are. You. Happy. Otherwise? Then. Stop. The. Comparison. Good luck. Dear
It kind of sounds like you were a replacement. He did the bare minimum to keep you but, hasn’t shown that he actually wants to grow with you.
Sound like you both need to seperate until he figures out who he wants. If it’s you, the ex is out of the picture 100%. There is no kids, so there should be no ties. Period.
If you’re in someone else’ shadow; you put yourself there. Laugh it off. Be a good sport about it.
I feel this to my bone and that’s the reason I left my partner(I’m not saying you should that your choice)but that feeling of being shadowed had me overwhelmed so i KNOW how you feel
Weird you dont have a ring. Sorry.
Dont compare yourself.
And if you arent being appreciated…let him know.
It sounds like you have a problem being #2. Why didn’t you leave if he was talking to her inappropriately?
Goodness girl get out! You don’t deserve that shit! You gave him TWO SONS! he won’t even get you a ring!? His mother pointed out to you that his ex still wears his ring!? She sounds like a flipping GEM if you ask me! Like wtf how hurtful and RUDE ( his mother). I don’t even know how to address the whole same birthday and middle name thing like that’s a whole different kind of crazy and if its pure coincidence that’s just flipping WEIRD. Yeah just LEAVE HIM and he will either step it the heck up or do nothing… you don’t deserve this second class treatment…
You are causing your own issues by allowing the disrespect. Stop complaining and know your worth and do something about it with or without him!
As hard as it might be. It sounds like you’re the one comparing the marriage. Your birth date is the same rather you ever married him. You probably had seen that location tons of times, but now choose to see it differently. As far as YOUR marriage. Sounds like you have a funny story to tell about the vows. Appreciate it. She may have married him first. But you are married to him now with two sons. 
My saying I say in my head at times is What u allow will always continue
You accepted a dining room wedding without a ring, you stayed when he spoke to his ex inappropriately. You tolerated his family’s preference to her, which is a form of disrespect to you.
You spend more of your time focusing on that then your marriage and how it’s different. It just seems to me like you settled, and he was just going through the motions to have someone there because he wasn’t over his ex at the time. If this were me I’d be re-evaluating this marriage .
Seems to me its you that has the problem. So you share the same birthday so what. I share my husbands first wifes birthday. Lots of people do. If hes good to you and not cheating on you stop lookingh for problems
Sounds like a you problem more than a him/them problem . Get some therapy and work your crap out:roll_eyes:
“I am constantly reminded of my husbands first marriage” isn’t a question, its a statement. I’m just going to applaud to help join in on the confusion.
You were a rebound he kept around cuz it was convenient. Leave.
I would have never even gotten involved period… I feel like a lot of posts in here really show how little self esteem and lack of value a lot of woman have within and it’s really sad to see. I hope that you can learn to love yourself and stop putting up with him.
There is nothing you can do about his ex wife’s birthdate or middle name,you are his 2nd marriage so you need to get over that, you agreed to marry him in a dining room with no ring. Tell him you want an anniversary ring, they don’t have to be expensive, if he won’t go with you show him a picture and buy it. The biggest thing here it seems you are having a problem being his second wife, you need to accept that or you need to decide to leave, the choice is yours, remember you are married to him and have his children, she is an eX wife for a reason.
My heart broke reading this…
You got issues lady. If I were him, I’d leave you…insecure and immature much? You sound like an entitled bitch! Don’t ever be a “why her and not me” kinda chick. Honestly sounds like you’re obsessed with the ex wife.
So he has been appropriate for last 3 years? But you can’t get over it? You are dwelling on some odd things tells me you guys need counseling
I was in a similar marriage for two years. I fought, especially at the end, against the weird relationship my then husband had with his ex.
Now I’m divorced, and it’s great.
Now I’m with a great guy who never talks about his ex. And I make sure to show respect in the same fashion. Take the “L” and work on yourself for a period of time. So you won’t end up repeating the same mistakes your soon to be ex does!
I’ve lived this life with the father of my children it’s a horrible lonely life, respect yourself enough to leave the shadows & be happy xx
You are giving yourself, your own issues. Maybe you should have thought all this out before saying I Do! Sounds like you compare yourself to the other to much.
You set your one boundaries, what you allow will happen.
Get over yourself. You’re married and have children with him stop putting his first life first he has.
If you weren’t jealous or insecure you wouldn’t be so bothered. You knew he had a previous wife… maybe you’re paying more attention to a marriage that’s over than the one you’re in
You are not wrong to feel this way, you deserve so much more