I am drained with my current relationship: Advice?

We’ve been together for 13 years and have two kids. But he’s verbally abusive. 70% of the time he’s like asking us (yes, not just me but also the kids) to go like telling us that everything in his life was alright before we came. I know he’s also sexting other women when he’s really drunk (I’ve caught him twice or thrice). And all he does is criticise. No appreciation at all. No thank you. I’m emotionally, physically, and mentally drained. I want to leave him but I know financially I’m not ready. How do I cope for the time being?


Girl I have been there … Like to a t and more. Message me if you want to talk

You don’t cope you leave


You’ll never be financially ready sometimes you just need to take a chance. Everything will fall into place it wont be easy at first no it wont but it will be worth it. Claim benefits, child support, clean take in ironing…get creative were women. Were resilient like that x


Leave don’t worry about finances, talk to your family they will help, talk to churches there are also groups out there that help people like you. You can call your local police department non emergency number they will have information for women’s shelters in your area, even a local counseling agency has information on where you can get help. I stayed in an abusive relationship he left came back and when I found the letter to his girlfriend while doing laundry he beat me up, I am now on disability because of the injuries he caused. I wish I would have gotten out of the relationship sooner.


Dont , you just make a short term plan to get out safe , stash what funds you can , document everything and leave if you feel safe to if not ask for help from a womens abuse assistant.

There is financial aid options for single mothers! Your happiness has no price tag! You got this momma! Everything will fall into place :heartpulse:
Leaving my abusive ex husband after 14 years was the best decision I ever made.


Leave him. It’ll work itself out. You and your children don’t need to be exposed to his toxicity.

Cutt his abusive balls off and throw him.out

I left, with two young kids, and was a stay at home mom with no source of income. It’s hard. I’m not going to downplay that. It was and still is so very hard. But had I waited for finances to be ‘right’ I’d still be taking his abuse to this day. Finances will fall into place, your happiness and mental well being (for yourself and your children) is more important :heart:


Ive lived this. PM if you want to talk. You need to leave. Its not easy buy life us SO much better. God will take care of you. Do not worry about finances. Get as much money out as you can and leave. Everything will work out for you!

Go to a women’s and children’s shelter for dv they should be able to help you get back on your feet

If the original writer of this sees my reply… Girl please reach out to me.

Leave, he will never change!!!

My 2 biggest excuses were I didn’t want him to harm my family & Idk if I can do it financially. Now I was saving to leave in fact I had almost 12 grand in cash so I could leave and be ok for a while on my own.

Then one day he snapped. Like I’d never seen before and he had a different look in his eyes.
I left the same day and he had a tracker on my phone and actually robbed me in the garage of the person I was staying with. Left me with NOTHING except my 2 dogs and the clothes I was wearing.

Guess what?? 5 yrs later. And I’ve got a wonderfully loving and caring husband and 4 beautiful babies.
You’ll be ok. I promise. It will be rough but you WILL survive. Your kids however will forever be damaged in so many ways emotionally and mentally if you stay.


He’s toxic to you and your kids :triumph::triumph::triumph: I know is not easy , talk to your family for help. Staying with him will affect you and the kids :sweat: Finances will come into place, focus on yourself and your kids :pray:t2:

Hopefully you have family you can reach out to. This is why females shouldn’t try to rely on a man with his money and have their own income. I hear about this type of stuff all the time on this page “I want to leave but I have no money”. I’m not trying to criticize but a woman should always know/have a way to make sure their kids are good knowing anything could happen.


You need to figure it and get your kids and yourself out of this relationship. Your children shouldn’t be seeing this kind of abuse.

Leaving will he the best thing. I’ve been in two relationships like that. Cried almost every freakin day. I fell back into my dark hole. But when I left, I felt alot of relief. It’ll be better for both you and your kids to get away from the negativity

Pack his bags, or pack ur bags whatever the situation may be. Life is too damn short for that mess. To have somebody treat u like they can get better? Baby NO. YOU CAN GET BETTER. And let me state the obvious, you are a mommy 1st and those babies DESERVE BETTER and if dad is trash it’s up to mom to show them just how good it can be. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Start putting money away

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Making a plane and getting everything in order is how to cope.
Start getting a little cash when shopping alone. Start your own checking account.
Are you working? If not try to find work.
Do you have any family or even a friend that will Allow you to stay till You can get on your feet. Go to the local state aid office and tell them You want to leave an abusive relationship, sighn up for everything you can, day care assistants, housing list, anyone you can talk to or other resources.


Run and don’t look back it will be hard but you’ll make it and your children will thank you.

Look up grey rocking and try to do that until you are able to leave. Hopefully you can stay with a friend or family member until you get back on your feet.

Leave dude! There are women shelters everywhere! Church groups! Theres alot of stuff that will help look it up! Dont put those children in that situation for any longer!.. even the police and sheriff’s office will help!! DO NOT STAY

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If he’s sexting other people… it’s time to leave. He has no respect for you or your relationship.

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Plan ahead save up what you can and get out. You are going to be glad you did.

Call an Ishtar house and make an apt.

Reach out to a local womans and children advocacy center

If you stay, you’re allowing your kids to be in that situation. If it’s hard on you, imagine how hard it is for them. There are resources that will allow you to leave and start over. It at be easy but it’ll be better in the long run.

Remember he is teaching a son boo ow to treat a woman and his daughter how she deserves to be treated

It’s time to put your foot down. But a word to the wise, do it while he is sober, because with a drinker it could possibly turn to physical abuse. I actually took my 7 and 8 year old, and left for 3 days because my husband was drinking too much and started being mean, not to the kids but towards me. It took him 3 days to find me and I was only 1 block away from our house. But I told him its either the booze or me and the girls, your choice. He chose us, and we have been married for 24 years. You need to stand up to him, if you don’t, it’s not going to stop. But please for the safety of yourself and your kids, again, do it while he is sober.

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I was in a horrible marriage that was both mentally and physically abusive. Long story short I had bought a car, hid it down the street, no lie , even the neighbors didn’t tell him. He had gave my first car away to settle debts, so that’s one of the reasons I hid it. (I worked and paid all bills etc, he didn’t work) but I was scared he’d find me if I left. I didn’t have a DL (he wouldn’t let me and I was trying to get it w/out him knowing but I just didn’t have it yet) my 3 year old ended up in hospital because of ex’s temper and as soon as my son was released I packed the car w/ my 3 kids and drove from Colorado to Texas with 3 kids under 5 years old, and whatever I could fit in the car. We Stayed one month at my parents (they are abusive as well and I couldn’t have my kids experience it) I got a job, first place that said yes cuz I had to, I wanted to. anyhow it was not easy but it was worth it, just trying to let you know you can do it, and another thing I might add… They can take your kids away for allowing them to live in an abusive (mentally or physically) atmosphere, js

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I would call your Job and Family Services phone number and just let them know you need resources. They will probably give you an incredible amount of sources to use in assisting you and your children in the transition. I would immagine things like…
Food assistance, Free Mental Health services for you AND your children ( like NAMI ) I don’t know your situation but it doesn’t hurt to relay that info. Maybe housing assistance, or a list of income based rent. So, if you make very little they would charge you based on that ( so rent would be very - very little ) and utilities probably included. They have numerous connections, you’ll just need to call them and ask the right questions. Don’t give up. You’re doing great. If you need a judgement free conversation you can message me any time.

Don’t cope. Leave now. Do whatever it takes to get you and your kids out of this situation. This is not only hurting you, it’s damaging your kids. Get another job, move in with a friend for a little while, whatever it takes to protect your kids from this.

Relationship? Are y’all not married? If not, you are considered a single mother. If you work and make less than a certain amount of money, you might be able to qualify for financial assistance. If you don’t work, then you definitely will qualify.

You might have to reach out to a family member and let them know what’s going on so they can help you plan an escape if you need to. Or better yet, file a protective order/ restraining order against him for domestic violence against you and the children… that way if he goes anywhere near the home where you and the children are you, can call the police and have him arrested.

Do you have transportation and/or a job? He wants you and kids to go and tells you that. Do you have family that could help so you could get a job if you don’t have one? Where were you living 13 years ago? Any connections there? There are services mentioned here from others that would be a great help. It is hard to prove domestic violence when it is verbal to obtain a restraining order. Not sure how that works. You are not financially ready? So you do have some funds? It will work out, you might have to get some assistance until your back on your feet. But do grant his wish ‘to leave with the kids’.

You need to stand up for yourself. Your a strong beautiful woman. Your better off single than with a man who doesn’t see your value. I pray everything works out for you. Blessings.


It’s not fair to you or the babies. You are a beautiful woman and you deserve to be treated like a queen. Please follow your heart and head and do what right for you. Longer you stay the longer before you meet your soulmate.


Call your local domestic violence shelter. DV is not just physical. Your local shelter can assist you in getting away from him helping you and your children find a safe home and can help you with the process of moving forward with your life.

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You can either get on state assistance or wait until you’re in a better situation to leave. I’ve done both and they both suck. On one hand, you’ll be at the hands of the state for a while, on the other you and your kids will be at the hands of your baby daddy. Both options suck but you’re the only one who can choose what will work best for you. When I was on state assistance I was able to get away from my ex sooner, which I desperately needed at the time because I had two kids and the youngest was a newborn and their dad was mentally unstable. When he was stable again I made the mistake of allowing him back into our lives and I had to wait until I was in a better situation financially to be able to kick him out, which worked out more smoothly than being on state assistance, but I had so much more stress and anxiety over it trying to figure out how to get my children into daycare while having to leave them with their dad who refused to get a job and was super neglectful to them. Weigh the pros and cons of both because your kids ages definitely have a lot to do with what you choose to do as well as whether you’re working and how much


LEAVE and get help!!! It is not good for your children to be living in that atmosphere!


Get your #ss out of there and hold your head up high. Do it for your babies, because that is not love your receiving and your also hurting your kids for staying with that JERK. Move Fast. :pray:


is thier anyone that you could stay with a mother father j.brother or sister thier is help out thier

Get out for yourself but especially for your kids. This is their childhood and it will mess them up in the future. Put them 1st!


Leave. Apply for state assistance. If you tell the state general assistance your leaving a domestic violence relationship, they will help you in any way they can. If you stay too long, not only you will hurt more, but it gets pass down to the kids. The kids see his actions and will learn this is how they are suppose to treat a woman. That’s worse!


There are state assistance and they usually will hook you up with a motel or a rental unit especially because this is a serious need…they will not turn you and children away…get out now before it gets worse!!!


Go anyways don’t wait or ur kids will be mentally damaged and have problems when the are adults with relationships he is teaching ur children how to treat a woman . Dont let ur kids learn from his examples


I have been there and done that and I started my life over and it took a while but it all turned out pretty good… So far

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You and your kids are better off leaving him. I wouldn’t wait any longer.

Think of your kids and yourself leave asap

Get out. Shelters for woman to help you

leave there is help out there

And u are still there??? WHY???

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Get out, go to a women’s shelter if you have to.

He’s a narcissistic asshole and needs his ass kicked by a real man children would rather come from a broken home than live in one

Find a way,beg ,borrow ,stay with a friend,a family member, or a shelter. Just get away from this abusive,unhealthy relationship, if not for yourself, do it for your babies. They deserve better.


Work on an exit plan… If you working try and save up to try to get out. If you not seek help from family or friends. In the meantime ignore him and concentrating on your kids… They deserve a much better life than the abusive one they are in now… Concentrate on healing yourself and face reality that you don’t want to be in such an abusive marriage… If you finally make up your mind you want out then consider going the legal route but it won’t be easy… Trust me but it will be worth it to provide a better life for you and your kids :heart:


Check in your state and see if there are any domestic violence shelters. They don’t charge for their services, give you a safe environment for you and your children to pick up the pieces. You could look for a job and most of them will even help you look for affordable housing.


Get the hell out. You’ll manage somehow!:heartbeat:

Leave! There are ways out you just need to take that step out the door and never look back, shelters would take you and your children too

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Seek help from your state and county.

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Find a job, get state help and leave

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Leave run been doing it for 29 yr always thought he would change but nope

boot his ass to the curb!!


Do the 180 method! Stop doing anything for him. Act happy and like life is perfect. GREY ROCK HIM LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! Be the strong woman that you are and show him that you don’t need him

You must make a plan before you leave. Contact agencies that can help. Talk to a special friend or two.Keep all this to yourself. You must do this for YOU and your KIDES. All the best.

Get away from him real soon

You teach people how to treat you and by allowing this to continue you are setting yourself up. You are showing your sons how a man should treat his family or daughters that it’s ok for a man to treat their family like this. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out and seek legal advice ASAP!! It’s better to be FROM a broken home than to live IN a broken home!


Leave now… this is hurting your children more than you can imagine… I finally left and went to a shelter for battered women… they will help you … my kids were 6 and 8 it took years of counseling for all of us… they are now in their 40s my son is now a therapist and works with these type of situations… please leave if not for you do it for your kids! Good luck God Bless!


If it were just you he was mistreating I would understand your dilemma. With him mistreating the children I feel like you should do anything and everything possible and leave. Ask your family and friends for help or go to a shelter. Whatever you have to do to get them away from the abuse!! Verbal abuse can stay with some ( if not most) children longer and do more harm to some, than physical. I pray God gives you the strength to leave noe

Lots of prayer and maybe a support group to let you vent. Live your own life even if you have to cohabitate for a while. So things with your kids and don’t include him. Reassure your children after he speaks to them like that and get out ASAP, nothing is worth being abused in any way

Get yourself prepared to leave him by going to school or whatever it takes.That make take awhile depending on your skillset, but it is essential if you really want out. Then once you have done that present him with the facts, state your needs and ask him if he is prepared to step up and also treat you and the children much better. If he doesn’t go with this, then really do leave because he will likely not change. It’s really scary to do this, but so worth it! Been there; done that and it was the best thing (after a 18 year unhappy marriage)!! Good luck, you deserve better!!!:grinning:

There is always a way to make it on your own. No it won’t be easy but it can be done. your scared that you can’t make it but you can. There is always a way you don’t have to take that kind of treatment. Your children need out of that situation. That is not healthy for them for their father to talk to them that way. You can get help do not just put up with this. By you putting up with it also means your kids have to as well.

He unhappy with himself. Councling if you want to save the relationship. If not do not subject kids and yourself to the abuse. It’s a chance for you to start fresh and grow.

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Go to a abused women center they will help you and the kids anyway they can from housing to job hunting one save my life you’ll be safe there please call there has to be one in uour area you deserve better be safe sister please call for help

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No sorry not sorry you need to get your children out of that situation ASAP! It’s bad enough you’re letting some prick treat you that way but allowing your children to live in that toxic situation nah :wave:t2:

No coping with that crap! Kick him out or move home. Especially with your kids Seeing and hearing the abuse. Get out!

The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship first 13 years us being in a bad relationship for 13 years and one day. Good luck.

Make your arrangements and leave. I just did it two weeks ago after 26 years of marriage and I am so happy I did! It me nine months to get things in order for me to leave and when he came home from work I was gone!

You need to leave its only gonna get worse,I know this personally,this is how mine own story started,dating was like everythng beautiful til we got married,first year derotary marks all the time,second year-he started cheating.third year I got pregant with my son,fouth year,fighting started litlle by little,5 year all this he got so bad he would chocke me,throw things at me=including steak knives and threating son if Ididnt tote the line,6th year DFS got involed and I was pregant again,7th year Department of Family Sevices took all three kids,finally he left but \Iwas all ready scared for life,now remarried and it has taken me 20 years to trust again.So please leave

Well, been there. Best thing to do is start looking for a job, a place to live - check low income housing. Go to a facilitator and get the legal help there. It will be okay! I did it with 3 kids on my own. You can do it too! Kids will be happier as well!

Social distance lol .hey you do you . treat him like the carpet . walk all over him . disregard him .go in another room .be away when he is there . cook only for you and the kids . serve only you and the kids . your not the maid .he can do his own laundry . dishes etc …he can make his own bed sleep in another place . only speak to him if he speaks to you first . if he hits you call the police get a paper trail started . get out . no form of abuse is ok .

If u felt strongly enough to post this… u already have your answer. Move on mama. Be happy

Start ratting money away and prepare yourself to leave. Verbal abuse almost always turns to physical abuse.

Call the genisis house maybe they can help you navigate how to get out and start over

When you are ready to.leave you will.

No excuses leave even if to a shelter. You will receive help

Prepare yourself, get support and make you dependable on you

WHY are you still there?? LEAVE

Put away as much money as you can… then run

I hate to say it, but you will never be financially ready, because he will always drain you. I was in the same situation, except it was his kid, not mine, that I was financing. Narcissistic abuse like this never stops. But what it will do, is teach your kids that it’s ok to be treated this way, and unfortunately if it continues it will likely be repeated in their own adult lives. Plus if he’s telling them this, they will have a lot of emotional issues, especially if you don’t fight for them and leave. They can’t understand the financial part, not until they are older and the damage is done, but they will feel as if you are ok with how they are being treated, which will increase the depression, poor self esteem, and even in many cases suicidal thoughts in their parts. He’ll never let you be empowered enough to leave. And he will make it even uglier when you go. Be ready for getting restraining orders, etc. But you need to go. Find a shelter, or friend you can crash with a while, or something and get out. I don’t have any tips for trying to tolerate it better, because there just aren’t any. He’ll use Andy manipulation he can fund to stay in control. If he feels it slipping, he’ll hurt you as much as he can to regain control, and make you weaker. I know it’s not what you are hoping to hear, but please think about it. And know if he’s not hitting you yet, he may start especially when drinking etc. Then he’ll blame you for some thing or another and that he was drunk, so you should know better.

Prepare yourself in the mean time. Call a local shelter for women and children. Find out what steps to take as you get ready to go. Get money saved up. Stash clothes with a friend or family or shelter. Get paperwork together you need: Social Security Cards, ID cards, drivers license, anything in your name.

Girl take ur 2 kids and :running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman::running_woman: god luck

Prior to leaving my ex husband I did the following. He’d say , your a dumb bitch.
I’d say , correct. It must be really difficult for you to be married to me. You deserve a smart , nice girl. PERIOD. if he went on with more. I’d just agree.
If he said , I hate being here
I’d say, you really should consider moving.
I just did not defend or argue. Just agreed. It was AMAZING. He got angrier and I began to get stronger. His opinion of you MEANS NOTHIBG SIS he’s scum
I also use to say over and over. Nicely, plesse don’t speak that way in front of my children. That was it. Over and over. Good lucj5. You can do it.

sorry for any misspelling

Praying for you both :pray:

You need to leave. I went through this situation as well but no kids (since he wasnt born yet) and no where near as long. It started out to be just verbal before it started to get physical!

It’s time to take the kids and go! Go stay with family until you can get back on your feet. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

You’re so strong! Don’t forget that. you and your littles deserve to be happy and safe. Reach out to a local domestic violence shelter in your area, they are free, you can call anonymously if you want, and many of them will help you build an exit plan if you aren’t able to just up and walk out the door. They can also assist you in finding financial resources. Stepping out into the unknown my seem scary sometimes, but you can do this!