Don’t waste another minute on that.
What is your investment in staying in a loveless, disrespectful relationship. Have you turned into a hope junkie, hope he will change. Not going to happen. Take care of yourself first, then your kids.
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Leave, not only is he damaging these children and you, but it sounds like he’s a cheater too. You can do better without him.
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Get out. You have absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty about for wanting a better life for you and your kids. This is a narcissistic relationship and it will only continue to get much worse. Even for the children. The best you can do is move on and live the best lives you and your kids can live without him and know you are right for doing so because he is not holding up to his end of things, he is being toxic, he is playing the field with other women and you deserve better than that, and he is being downright abusive. I’m at over a year out of that sort of relationship myself and I promise…it is sooooo much better for me and my son than I even imagined. It will be the same for you and your kids too. Just make sure you continue with the therapy. It will continue to help.
You are as guilty as he is for abusing the kids by staying and letting it happen to them. Contact your local Battered Women’s Shelter for some advice. Get a part time job and save every penny to leave. These children only have you to protect them. So please do it. This is about them and not you.
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How is it that you’re staying for the kids and there’s an obvious issue with him and two of them? You know the answer…you have allowed him to be comfortable in his actions by not pushing the issue and I bet he KNOWS you won’t leave. I’d show him. My own mental health would be a priority
It’s not there for him because they are not his!
Just leave and take the adopted child with u . He can go mess up his own life. You staying is enabling him.
Why are you still with him?
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Leave. You can do it on your own. I promise. Your children will be healthier for it. Sometimes marriages don’t work out and although its scary, it’s best (if it can’t be fixed) to move on. You can co-parent and still be there for the kids but when your kids see you happy, they will be happy too.
Good luck 
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Emotional abuse will follow those children their entire lives. A lot of times people stay “for the children”, when they are the very reason they should go. Good luck.
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You have emotionally left already. If your feeling guilty for hurting the kids talk to them about it. Ask them what they feel is the best action. I’m sure they will support you. They will also respect you more for asking them and showing respect for their opinions. God bless.
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Your children can feel this toxicity ! Get out of it for the children’s sakes!
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You cant help thosr that wont help themselves. Time to move on.
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He’s abusive to the kids and yet you stay for the kids?!
The kids will see how he treats you and them. They will grow up thinking this is normal. Leave now. For yourself and your kids. You’ll all be happier.
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It’s worse for the children to see this in a relationship than for them to have divorced parents.
Red Flag relationship…it’s not the best environment for your kids to be in. You have already left your husband mentally now you need to finish it for all your sakes. I suggest you keep all the children send him packing.
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Leave. He’s mean to the kids? leave. He contributes nothing to the relationship? leave. he’s deleting messages? ya leave. even if was a great husband father and person if he’s deleting messages…LEAVE
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This was the exact problem with my ex(we have two boys together) he was always making empty promises. Now he does it with my children. He would always say pay this bill and I’ll pay this next week. Then NEVER did. Or say no babe don’t do this I got it, but would never take care of the task at hand. Cussed and yelled things at the kids that astounded me. How can you cuss a 5 and 2 year old!?!? When he started calling them names such as mf and little B**** I said hell no and kicked him out. 9 years I delt with it then finally had enough. I held on until my boys were a little older and independent and also to see if anything would change but it didn’t. It still hasn’t with his fiancé and new baby. She is dealing with the same issues. And now, my children come home from a weekend with him upset bc he promised on the phone during the week to take them here or there or do something fun when the boys got there but when the boys address it, he tells them he doesn’t know what they are talking about and that they are lying. So now it’s manipulation with the boys. It’s sad. Maybe he will change, maybe not. We never know. Mine never did and still hasn’t and now, it has trickled down to the kids which I hate the most. Telling a child they are lying bc you can’t follow through with promises is the most disgusting form of narcissism. I begged and pleaded and pointed it out but I’m always the bitch/crazy one bc he won’t face the issue at hand. I can’t bring it up now bc if I try to converse with him he blocks my number and goes weeks sometimes months without communicating with them and it kills them. My advice would be to go. Go before more damage is done. You deserve better and the kids deserve better. Someone is out there that will not do that to you or your children. Much love momma because I know how hard it is. Nothing in this world is as tough as deciding whether to stick it out or to go.
Sounds exactly like my ex, minus the kids (thank god) please, get out… he will never change, like ever… for your sake and the kids sake, leave and never look back… you’ve already left in your heart, all you have to do is physically leave now…
The lack of initiative he is putting into your guys relationship is abuse enough let alone the way you say he treats the older 2 kids. The situation with the kids alone would have been enough for me to be done. You can treat me how ever but don’t ever even think you can do the same to my children and the children will pick up on the fact that he doesn’t treat the younger three kids the same way eventually and it will hurt them so much. They will question theirselves like they are the problem. Leave now! Before it gets to the point your kids are suffering from it. 
Would you instruct your daughter or son to stay in a relationship where they were being treated the same way? If the answer is no, you know what you need to do here. If he flat out refuses to do what’s necessary to have a healthy home life than you need to make the call on what’s best for your children and yourself. You’re teaching the kids that it’s okay to be treated like a doormat.
Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. The wounds never heal.
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Time to decide what what kind of life you want. If you can financially, work on setting up your own home and move out. Time goes by very fast to be unhappy for you and your kids. Find a good lawyer also .
Look up the wheel of abuse. There are a lot of red flags 
with this relationship. Make an exit plan and get yourself and the kids to safety, and a more peaceful existence. Tina Swithin has a lot of excellent resources.
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You left b4 and came back without him having to change any of his behaviours why would he want to change? As you said you keep running around not him just change the direction again and don’t come back the children deserve better so do you🤗
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Don’t stay and be unhappy your kids need to be treated good to he is probably cheating if he deleted text hugs and prayers hope things turn out amazing for you and your kids
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Why are you even still with him? Guilts you for the kids but I’m sorry how is staying with him doing them ANY favors? 2 parents in the home doesn’t mean much if they’re dysfunctional, a happy single parent would be more beneficial I promise. And if you already do everything I’m sure you can do it mama!
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You need to leave or make him leave. You and those children are being abused and he is emotionally cheating on you regardless what he says. And I’d bank on it that, that’s why he’s so distant is because he already has something on the side. You know what you feel already that’s why your asking for validation follow your instincts it’s not going to get better. And when he begs you I don’t care how much after you break of this relationship don’t take him back. It will hurt at first but when you don’t have to stress about what he’s doing you’ll feel better plus the kids will flourish. Healthy relationships work together they don’t treat the other like their invisible or hide stuff…walk away or run but get out please
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Advice? You already know what you should do. Let your children be your answer.
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Leave him again and stay gone. Do you have any idea how much verbal and mental abuse can mess up a child??? I hate how women still think they should make it work with a man who is verbally, mentally or physically abusive just because they have kids…. Stop it! Leave for the last time.
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U need to take children an walk!!
Being mean to the kids= leave
Teach the kids they are more deserving and valuable than that otherwise you are teaching them they deserve to be treated like that, by staying. He does nothing. So why are you there. Pack your bags and be happy 🫶🏻
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If money really isn’t an issue, why not just leave?.. its clear he doesn’t care about yours, or the families needs
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You’re “single married”. Might as well just be single. Take your kids and leave. Better to be by yourself and not put them through that. You’re doing everything by yourself as it is. At least if you leave you won’t have the headache and stress from dealing with him. Clearly he refuses to change. You’ll be happier by yourself. And your kids will be, too. He probably makes them feel like complete s***.
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You staying is hurting the kids and yourself.
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I agree with everyone above and came to say the exact thing
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Get out!Take the kids.You can do it.Mine left me but I did it.
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Leave girl!! you only get one life and it’s to short to waste being unhappy 
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Let it go girl. Your better off by yourself and the kids. Walk away.
Fucking DIVORCE
There is NEVER a reason to treat kids poorly.
So he’s a terrible father, terrible partner, and a cheater….
I get a lot of “What does it mean if my husband/boyfriend/partner does x thing” questions.
Where x is always some pathological and abusive bullshit.
What does it mean if my husband says he shouldn’t have to do chores because he works? What does it mean if my boyfriend doesn’t return my calls? What does it mean if my partner makes fun of me when I cry?
Listen. Contrary to what the purveyors of essentialist gender bullshit would have you believe, men are not a different species. They are not using a different communication handbook. They are, in fact, human beings who understand the norms of human communication perfectly well. You do not need to waste time and effort deciphering what they say and do when its meaning is plainly in front of you.
When a man does something abusive and uncaring, it means he is abusive and uncaring.
When he won’t do chores, it means he thinks his time is more valuable than yours.
When he doesn’t care about your emotions, it’s because he’s an asshole, not because he doesn’t understand that humans have emotions (he certainly fucking has them).
When he doesn’t keep his promises, it’s because he thinks he doesn’t have to.
Listen to what he is telling you. Stop over analyzing and making excuses.
If it looks like an asshole and quacks like an asshole, it’s not a misunderstood snowflake. It’s an asshole.
Leave trust if you’re not happy neither are the kids. You should leave right away. Kids are going to say stay but don’t they only want to stay because they don’t know how much better things can be. Life is short be happy
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Talk to his mom about how he treats the kids so that someone else knows to watch out for them and Just take your kid and run.
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I stopped reading after “he’s mean to the kids”. Why the heck are you still there if your kids are suffering?
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You deserve more. You get married to gain a partner. But he isn’t doing any of his share. Not work in the marriage and not work in the home. It sounds like you are already acting as a single parent with no help. Maybe you would be happier without his extra baggage. I hope you find the happiness you deserve
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Did the counselor tell you that you’re married to a narcissist and that they never change? Get out now especially if money is not an issue. 
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Your kids are not better off staying in this situation. They will have a much healthier environment if you leave
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what it sounds like to me is he’s guilting u into staying “for the kids” is so he doesn’t have to do anything for them. You said he doesn’t now, soooo…
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Ok if he’s mean to the kids then don’t listen to him. Do not let him guilt u. The children matter most. Put them first.
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You know the answer…by making a post it’s not goina help …Run while u can…
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Get yourself a maid if money isn’t a issue. I’d leave for your own mental health. You are teaching your kids his behavior is acceptable when it’s NOT!
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You staying is not going to make your kids happy. If you are miserable so are your kids. You are doing everything anyway so it won’t be much different than if he is gone. Other than finance. Boot him out the door and file for child support. And don’t look back.
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If he is mean to them, why stay for the kids? Makes no sense to me. Staying is teaching the kids, those behaviors are ok! Get out!
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Getting GOD involved in your’s, his, and the children’s daily lives can gave a huge impact for the better.
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Nope I will defend my kids to the ends of the earth and I sure wouldn’t stay with someone who treats one different than the other
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Follow through with leaving! Don’t allow him to mistreat your kids just because they’re not biologically his! I’m sure your kids are just as miserable as you! Save yourself and those babies, y’all deserve happiness!
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Kids need to come first and sometimes that means leaving a relationship where it’s no good for the kids
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Leave and don’t go back
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Well even if you stay with him and he continues to dodge therapy its virtually CERTAIN that your children wont be able to when they grow up under this cloud, parenting sometimes means making difficult choices for the sake of your childrens future well being, your there now
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If he is not making good effort to change . GET OUT!! you and your kids don’t deserve it🙂
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Get out now, take your kids and go. He is not going to change. He’s a liar and a manipulator, don’t trust him. If he is deleting messages from other women, you better believe it’s not good, otherwise he wouldn’t delete them. Sounds to me like he’s having his cake and eating it too.
This is almost exactly what I went through in my marriage except for being mean to our son. He finally moved out, thank the Lord, went from our home directly to his girlfriend’s house in January of 2019, at the beginning of July she had their baby. I personally will never trust a man again, especially the ones that can look you right in the eye and lie to your face. I sure do hope you get away from his lying and manipulation. The more you keep accepting his actions, the more he’s going to keep doing what he’s doing because he knows you will not leave or you’ll just come back. Stop letting him walk on you. Good luck. I’ll pray for you.
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Make your exit plan.
Get your affairs in order.
File.
Never look back.
If he somehow, down the road, makes a complete 180 and you feel like it, you can date.
He will string you along, wear you down, gaslight you and make you think you are the problem.
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It seems like you have answered your own question - if you are emotionally disconnected from him. Talk to an attorney before you do anything else. If you take his three kids - make sure he is paying child support for them, etc. For the children’s sake GET OUT.
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I think you already know it’s time to go you’ve tried and tried and he wants nothing to do with helping his relationships so I think you know …
Its never good to stay for the kids. They learn relationship skills from watching you and what you tolerate. Teach them right so they make better choices for themselves. Sounds like leaving won’t be added work. Don’t ask his permission just tell him your not happy and nothing changed this so you’re done. Go find your happiness!
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Time to say goodbye for good. This is hurting the kids more being in this situation.
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Leave, he won’t change and you have given him enough chances.
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Listen to yourself. Why would YOU WANT TO STAY with him?? He LIES about numerous things it sounds like and is mean to your kids. I’d peace him out ASAP until his actions prove other wise:v:
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I love you and you’ve got this! You already know my answer dear, he’s been given too many chances and doesn’t change! 
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Sounds like you have your answer. Staying together for the kids when he’s mean to them anyway what he means is, staying together for the kids so he doesn’t owe child support. If he isn’t taking the steps to change then he doesn’t want to change. You’ve sat back and watched what he is choosing and it’s not the relationship. Leave, and if you really want the relationship, see if he makes effort in the next year to change. And make it a year, not a month not two it’s easy to pretend for a short time. And if he changes in the year and makes DRASTIC effort then choose what makes you happy. You might find once you’re away from the relationship that you’re happier and better off without him.
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Oh bull, you’ve been to counseling, what counselor in their right mind would tell you staying in this relationship is healthy for your children, you said money is not an issue, sooooo, now we know why you stay…get out! Or get him out and away from your children!!! GROW UP!!!
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For the kid’s sake? Get out
Leave … those kids need a safe environment. Words are cheap ! Actions are what matter . If you leave and serious about it . Then if he wants to change he will. He will do everything he needs to do to be a better dad and husband.
I’m speaking from experience. I was in the same boat 4 kids all his but he was a a$$ to them and especially our oldest. I left had divorce papers filled out. He came back proved he was serious about changing . Turns out he’s bipolar and he needed help. I would also like to say first time I left and came back he didn’t do anything to change . He needed to see I was 
serious about putting out kids 1st.
4 yrs later we are more solid then we ever were . And he spends time with the kids and makes sure to always put effort everyday into us and them .
Best of luck momma . 
I’m proud of you for putting the kids 1st. Unfortunately to many women 
don’t
Why’s it even a question…he’s mean to the kids, intentionally deletes texts and snaps to hide them from you (dodgy asf) and doesn’t actually want help…you already know what you should do.
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He doesn’t need to change because he knows you won’t follow through either.
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Take it from someone who lived with a person like this as a child, leave.
They’ll never get rid of their narcissistic tendencies and it’s better to walk away.
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You shouldn’t have to ask other people what you should do . Seems like a very toxic relationship . Move on . Your kids will probably be relieved .
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You already know what you need to do otherwise you’d not be asking for others to tell you that you should leave, it won’t get better and he won’t change… especially if it’s been going on and he’s showed no signs of changing.
It sounds like you and the kids will be better off without him.
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Ask yourself what positives you and your children get from this relationship. If the negatives outweigh the positives(and it sounds like they do), just leave. It sounds like this guy does whatever he wants and expects you to be happy with the scraps he is throwing you. Get out now!
You know you need to leave him. Hes not making any attempt to change.Do it FOR the kids . They arent happy either.
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You want out,ir doesn’t feel right. He is lying, manipulative, and not checked in. He treats the children badly. That alone would have me out the door and not going back. You know what to do. Life is too short to be miserable.
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Learn your WORTH.
Remind the children of their WORTH.
IT IS TIME TO GO. PERIOD!!!
You will all be happier.
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Schedule a therapy appointment and tell him when it is. If he doesn’t show up you might want to keep going on your own to build a plan for exit.
Run as fast as you can. Don’t let him use the kids as a weapon. The kids want out as bad as you do.
Oh no texting other women he should be talking to you about the relationship and he needs to get involved he’s choosing to cop out just excuses he’s using
Take all of the children, except his 3 and leave. You all will be relieved and happier. 
Regret is a hard pill to swallow!!! Where do you see your self in the next ten or twenty years? I wish I could go back in time, raised my daughters and Never had a boyfriend or husband, nothing but misery! Please don’t stay for the kids sake, they feel your stress and unhappiness!
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The biggest indicator of future behaviour us past behaviour. Maybe give it one last go and then leave or just leave he doesn’t mean what he’s saying
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Parenting is a team effort. Dependingon age of the older kids yes. Older kids should be helping you clean.
Those kids will be holding this against you when the get older. A mother never lets a guy mistreat their kids. That’s abuse. Your teaching your kids that it ok to treat people bad. Their relationship in life will fail because they have only seen bad relationships. Do better. Leave him if you love your kids
Leave. Your children come first. How do you think they feel living with him?
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Leave girl don’t be a sucker just leave.depression can be a killer.and it looks like you’re on that road.put your own well being first 
.
He only wants you around as a wife appliance. Is that how you want to be treated or do you want real change? Also is this how you want your children to treat their future spouses? Or for them to accept this treatment? If not get out there and find you some lawyers and a therapist! You can have a better more fulfilling life without a partner!
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You answered your own question momma. You’re searching for the strength to do it. It’s the right choice for the kids as well as yourself, and It will be difficult and a major adjustment but you will get through it just fine. Have some faith and trust in yourself and do what’s best for you and your kids. Power to you momma, you got this!
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Get a lawyer. Be sure to get both alimony and child support. When he finds out you’ve contacted a lawyer, he’ll seem to change for the better, but it’s a lie. You’ve been with a gaslighting, abusive S.O.B. and he’ll never change. Make sure you get a Court Order for the alimony and child support. That way these monies can be deducted automatically from his paycheck. Through the attorney, have him evicted. You need to take care of yourself and the children. You’re the only form of protection and love that they’ll have. You can get legal help through the state (legal aid). It would be helpful if you (and possibly the kids) got some counseling to deal with this. I know what you’re dealing with because I’ve been through it. Remember to contact your town or state human services to get any help you need to make this change. Trust me, your real life will begin when he’s away from you and the kids. Life WILL get better. Good luck!
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Get out ASAP!!! The kids can see the all the crazy stuff save them n yourself
Nope, he’s just using you. Leave him to tend to his children and take the other two and get out. Don’t let someone manipulate and gaslight you, you deserve better. You deserve to be loved correctly.
You need to leave, this is, damaging you, and your kids, putting them at risk.
Make him leave. He is doing damage to you and the kids. The way he is is abusive. If he won’t leave, pack up the kids and go.