I’m so exhausted. We didn’t do anything for Thanksgiving, and I was so excited to decorate for Christmas. I just can’t motivate myself. I have no support, no “villagers”. My bfs sister won’t let his mom watch both of our kids so she only watches our nephew. I haven’t had a night to myself in over a year and the only “me” time I’ve had is running errands and visiting someone at the hospital. I can’t even take a shower without my partner knocking on the door or coming in to tell me to hurry. He goes out every night and I’m left at home with our children every time. I’m also a sahm so he gets to go to work 12 hour shifts. I never even get to leave my neighborhood. I’m pregnant again and I’m so tired. I can’t make myself do anything anymore. I feel so alone. I asked for a night that my partner stays home with the kids so I can go out by myself and get some time and he asked “why did you even become a parent then?” Like I’m the only one stuck with the responsibility.
It’s time to put you first so that you can be able to be there for your family. Get a babysitter and schedule date nights.
Leave the relationship then every other weekend you’d have some free time.
Him making that comment was uncalled for. He’s a parent too!!
I hope you get some relief very soon! You got this. 
The fact that you have to reach out and ask strangers is your eye opener.Dont ask for the Me time,take it,make it happen they are his kids too.Just get dressed up and tell him your going out for a bit,that’s all.You don’t need permission love.
You gonna have to stop asks if & just take your me time! I had to learn that the hard way. When he gets home, be ready to head out the door! Even if all you do is go sit in your car in a parking lot & eat a pint of your favorite ice cream!
Someone once told me “it is better to live alone and not be lonely than to live with someone and be lonely”. I think you must be very lonely living with him…he has no time for you or the kids. If I were you,I would consider leaving and even though it would be hard, look for assistance from different agencies and be proud that you did it on your own…meet other Moms and set goals for yourself. Prayers and a gentle hug for you,keep us informed.
Hire a babysitter. Or do a nanny share with another mom.
I would hand him the kids and say see ya. Lol. Does he not know it takes two to tangle lol. Yep I would leave and enjoy myself
Loss him 
if your doing everything alone what difference without him would it make momma. You got this!
Surprise!! Welcome to motherhood.
Even with a good partner, it’s all on you.
Don’t ask him when he comes home be ready and leave. He’s a parent too
You need a new partner. Sounds more like you have a 3rd child.
Edited to add: if you’re expecting him to change, I wouldn’t hold your breath.
Just came here to say throw the man away it’s literally only gunna get worse. Do u honestly think even after kids are grown he will make time to be with you or “let you” do anything for urself. Sure sounds like he is trying to have his cake n eat it to while simultaneously controlling you
If you’re already a single parent in a relationship, lose the relationship and just be a single parent. It’s so much better than taking care of an adult toddler as well.
Responsibility is supposed to be Shared
Be ready when he comes home and take off. You can have a dinner in the crockpot.
Simple as that…
If his Mom can’t watch the kids find someone else and have a day to yourself. And having another baby isn’t going to change things. It’s time to save up to be able to set up a new household for you and the kids. Tell him that you are getting a job and that he can pay for childcare
If that was my husband, he would be gone
I don’t understand how his family is no help I can’t imagine his mom only wanting to care for one grand child and not the other. He needs to wake up and realize we are in the 21st century and women are allowed to have a break too. I would literally lock myself in the bathroom for some peace of mind. I think you need to give him an ultimatum to change or leave. Your children need a healthy mother just as much as you need to be one
☆☆Dear Anonymous: ☆☆
Girl , Men like that you can’t tell them Nothing…
You have to show them…
That means get yourself ready and when he walks through the door leave and go do your thing…
Turn your cell phone off and enjoy the evening with friends or whatever. When you get gome he may fuss but it will be worth it. Then tell him what’s good for the goose is good for the gander… and that from now on you will get some ME TIME and he will watch his own children just like you do that you didn’t make them alone and your done raising them alone. Then if he still raises cane tell him he can get with the program or he will be getting ALL OF THE CHILDREN every other week to raise when you leave him.
Tell him you will be getting a job and he can PAY Day Care and Child Support.
( It doesn’t matter if you would actually do that or not - Let him believe that you would)…
Don’t play girl , people only do to you what you allow them to do to you.
Think about that statement long and hard…
No it doesn’t mean you ask for it, like it, or deserve it.
It means that people like him will take advantage and mistreat you bad and wrong as long as you let them do so…
Stand your feet up and STOP 
ALLOWING HIM TO DO THAT TO YOU- YOU ARE JUST AS MUCH A PERSON AS HE IS - YOU DESERVE JUST AS MUCH AS HIM OR ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD DOES…
CHOOSE you, STAND up for you, YOU MATTER YOU ARE IMPORTANT !!!
I would run errands by myself after he gets home. Take your time
Get yourself in to a moms group - at the park or at a local church and get to know someone well enough to swap babysitting — you gotta pull yourself up by your own bootstraps for your kiddo and self.
People only do what you “allow” them to do. You didn’t make babies on your own. Time to grow up…or maybe he doesn’t want to? We have 4 kids and sometimes I purposely turn the music up and choose to ignore the knocking when dad is home.
Just leave, let him be a parent for once. He’s a dad, he made those little people too. Just have kids ready, dinner ready and leave. Say see you later and go.
Sounds like your significant other needs to act like he’s a parent also. If you are doing everything alone… What’s the point of being in a relationship with him?..
Hire a sitter and go out WITH HIM!!!
He goes out every night!?!? Oh no! That would not happen! You didn’t make those kids alone, if you can’t go out & have some time to yourself then he shouldn’t be either. He is also a parent. He should be coming home from work & helping you with the kids. Kids aren’t just a mothers job, it’s both the mom & dads. Simply tell him to help you or you can leave & he can get them half time by himself & pay child support. Simple as that.
When he gets home hand him the kids and just walk out
His mom is a grown woman who can decide for herself. If she’s not watching the kids it’s bc she doesn’t want to. Either way, it’s up to you and your partner to share the load. why have a partner if you’re doing it alone? I’d leave him, work, split custody and be happier. He’s a parent too he can act like it.
My life for the last 10 years
I’d be gone he’s not a partner he’s a lodger who do as he please & you’re allowing it xx
Stop giving him the option to talk to you like that and tell you those things. Put your foot down and tell him that you ARE leaving for a few hours to get some me time and he can or can not have the kids in bed by the time you get home. Preferably can but we know how some dads can be at night playing with kids lol.
Otherwise…leave…dont be a single parent while being babysat yourself by a “husband”, just be a single parent.
Most people will say leave. I know it isn’t as easy as said. I would make yourself an appointment for a pedicure or something and tell him you have an appointment for yourself and you didn’t make children on your own. So he can stay with them. Walk out the door turn off your phone and enjoy. You need to apply pressure
The bigger question is why did HE become a parent.
I sympathize will you, because I know exactly how this feels!
You both are parents your the stay at home and he.works full time its called a traditional realionship or marriage, it’s common and but that doesn’t mean you should.be shamed for needing time.out. you get some.cash you hire a.sitter darlin that’s the route you need to take here and if he has a problem with that it’s on him and see how long before he needs a sitter. Having a mate and being a single parent is a hard one I’ve been here as long as this has gone on will be how long it would.take to.fix it so hire that sitter
It doesn’t sound like he’s ever wanted to be a dad. You’re better off leaving, and figuring things out for yourself. At this point, he’s just in the way. It may be a struggle at first, but it will get better.
First of all you BOTH are parents. Don’t ask him for a night off. Tell him you are going out for the night and the kids are his responsibility and leave. If it is such a problem for him to take care of his kid why did HE become a parent?
Leave him and get child support! You’re ALREADY single he is no partner. My man would never go out every night,he knows better!
Sounds like you are having a case of the pregnancy blues
I’m in no way , saying your what you are feeling aren’t real for you
And that’s OK for you to feel like that way
As for what your sil has said
I would approach your Mil and ask if she would like to have some time with her grandchildren
So you could have some time out
Your boyfriend needs to step up and take some of the load off you
When he comes home from work wait until he gets in the shower and (make sure your child is safe in a playpen or crib) and stick your head in the door and tell him you’ll be back later and walk out the d@mn door. Go see a movie or something, go have dinner by yourself just don’t ask!! Just go! When you get home just make it clear that either you work together to create time for you to get a break OR you will be taking unscheduled breaks whenever you want, whether he already has plans or not!
This sounds extremely one sided. Parenting is hard I get it and it needs to be shared between both parents but don’t say “ he gets to go and work 12 hours shifts “ … no one wants to go and work 12 hour shifts if they don’t have to.
Take the kids out and make a day of it sure it’s stressful but try and relax a little
He needs to help out or kick bricks. That is unfair to you. You aren’t the only one who made these babies you deserve time off too
Seriously he needs to go…why stay with someone who doesn’t help take care of his kids too…the house he lives in too…why does he get to go out and not you toi…big nope to all that…you will get to a point and you will walk away…I did…best thing I ever did…never again will I be will someone who doesn’t help…doesn’t support me…doesn’t take care of his kids/home responsibilities…nope…nope…nope…
My son’s dad was like this - I left and I thrived without him. I found happiness. There were hard times being a single parent but it was better than being constantly disappointed with a partner who didn’t care.
Boyfriend? Girl I’d be gone so fast. Next time he leaves I’d take the kid and be gone too and never look back… and block his whole family!
It was at this exact moment and breaking point that I myself realized I was already a single parent, I was just married … . 
Just remember that u can do bad all by yourself sis … … . 
Don’t stick around for it …
Turn his question around on him! “Why did you become a husband and parent if all you think you have to do is go to work and go hang out with your buddies?” Those are his kids too, so why doesn’t he have to parent too?
Sounds like he’s potentially controlling and isolating you. Call a women’s support line to talk about what is happening, and to help make plans for improvements on your situation… Maybe join a mums group in your area too, get out with other mums who need me time, and let the kids entertain each other.
So its not his mom’s responsibility to watch your kids, what about your mom,?
Also 2 people made the kids not just you, if he cant help you then kick him out! You deserve better life is way too short
Leave. Put his butt on child support. Find a real partner that will love and help you navigate life and parenthood. I promise there are so many people out there who would treat you right.
Open your eyes. He won’t change
For everyone telling her to leave him, she is a pregnant SAHM with no job. She has no family or friends. She’s is very lonely. She needs friends as a a start. She should contact a local church to see if they have mom groups. Libraries have children’s events where she can meet other moms. There are Facebook groups for moms wanting to meet other moms. Just having someone to talk to can help.
And you still bringing more kids into this horrid situation , even though you can’t manage with what you have…you also a problem here. Stand up for yourself or continue to keep having babies and suffering.
I’d be telling I didn’t make these kids alone and you can step up for once. Do what a man is suppose to do, and take care of them. Then go out for the night. I’d also be telling him that if this is how he is going to treat you, then you’d be better off alone. You did not sign up to raise children by yourself, and to lose yourself completely. If that doesn’t work, then when he gets home, leave. Force him to tend to the children. Start looking for a job or assistance and leave the situation.
You need an equal your basically a single mum now already. Throw the whole man out
Just go out by yourself one night and leave him to watch the kids. Don’t ask, just get yourself ready and then tell him you’re going out for a break. If he gets to do it why can’t you? Even if it’s just to go out to dinner by yourself. You need a break too.
You aren’t married, so Lose that Loser! Leave and make him pay child support.
He sounds emotionally abusive. Get out of this relationship. He doesn’t love you & your relationship with him is setting a bad example for your children. Obviously you are the only the housekeeper, babysitter & someone to have sex with. You are deserve more than he is willing to give you. All my best wishes to you 
You will NEVER GET ANYTHING YOU DON’T Demand! I learned this from experience.
So many couples with kids are just really single mothers bc the dad refuses to help with his own kids…
I’d be telling your partner to shape up or ship out
Your not the only parent here
And where is he going every bloody night
So many put up with less than ok
If you that tired you do not need a night out. You need sleep, rest, and peace. You are not a brood mare. There are other options. After the baby, and this includes your health, mental and physical, stop reproducing. You will just continue this cycle. You are stronger than you know.
And he won’t change for this baby either… he’s shown you how much he really cares by his actions. It takes two people to make a baby and then you’re BOTH parents except only one of you is acting like it.
He is not your partner, the is emotional abuse, get rid of him
You’re going to have to put your foot down. Find another sitter, get ready, and go out. Tell him that’s what’s happening. Don’t ask. Even if you just go nap in the parking lot at the park or something. Turn off your phone and take that time for yourself.
On another note, sex would be out of the window. PERIOD.
Throw the whole man away and start over. Build a village that loves you more than this man obviously does.
I wouldn’t put up with that. You’re definitely alone doing all of this on your own. You need to start setting boundaries and giving your bf ultimatums. You’re pregnant with another one on the way and that does not get easier. Also, why won’t his sister allow the mom to watch your kids for a few hours? 
Thats just weird. If I were you, I’d seek help through Drs. (Seek therapy). Also contact your local social services and ask for resources and programs for moms. There may be some support groups or other programs to help your situation. I would start looking into getting back to work once the baby has arrived and start saving money to do your own thing and live your own life independently.
You allowed this to.happen
You have the energy to procreate.
Find the energy to give yourself a life too
Leave honey, run far away.
Girl get yourself ready and just leave so he has no choice but to take care of his child. Stand up for yourself
Wow what a shitty attitude to have towards you, might as well be a single parent, leave his ass and find yourself someone that deserves everything you have to offer.
Why did he?? You’ll be a better parent if you get your time! F that, F him. Get yourself a life
oof, this is such a difficult situation. because you are a sahm and he is the one who works - therefore, it might be a struggle to kick him to the curb (esp if he’s tight with the money). i wish there was a better solution for you. Maybe reaching out to resources in your area that might help you get childcare, or joining a mom group in your area and finding support in that way?
Right now, it seems like everyone else is in charge of your life and running you to the ground. Do the minimum for them and try your best to take care of yourself, unborn baby, and kids FIRST. If they ask you to do anything, tell them NO. you can’t do it because you have yourself and kids. If they make you feel bad, remember that THEY are being the shitty one, not you. Do not internalize their bullshit. Stand up for yourself and put your foot down. I’d honestly stop doing ANYTHING for your partner if he can’t help you with the kids. No laundry, no dinner, he can clearly do them himself if he’s not taking care of the children. Same with SIL, she doesn’t control your house. If gma can only take one kiddo, use that to your advantage. Try to make that quiet time at home, play calming music, try to relax and kick your feet up. if you can’t - you have tasks. do the same, play music/movies/books to relax you whiel you do dishes or clean. Remember that ALL that stuff can’t wait. and if they judge you for having dirty dishes, THEY can do them. I’d also stop having sex with him INSTANTLY. you do not need any more physical ties to this man, and after this baby, you can not put yourself further beneath him.
Excuse me he made those babies and he shouldn’t be going out he should be home helping. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. He could go out and not come back in. He doesn’t want to be a parent so throw his tail out the door. He wouldn’t be shacking up with me and running at night. Hell no
Get rid of the man child.
A 3rd child sounded like a good idea?
Will you PLEASE relay this message to your husband for me?! Seriously, tell him I said this and he can even message me if he wants too.
Your wife isn’t the sole parent in your household, so the ‘why did you become a parent’ thing is a flawed argument because in normal households with a man and a woman, the man ALSO parents and helps with the children. Not only the mother, and not only because she is a stay at home Mom. She is not only caring for two children, she is pregnant. My husband, my amazing husband, and I have three kids. He works his normal job, and then he has a business on the side, and he STILL comes home and asks me if I need help, makes dinner if I can’t do both at the same time, tells me to take a bath if needed so I can have some quiet alone time, if I’m overwhelmed or overstimulated he tells me to get out of the house for a bit and go shopping by myself, or get some food somewhere. He tries to put our 1 year old down to bed, offers help at night so I can get some sleep, and because he is so amazing and offers help I rarely accept the night time duties even though I take care of the children all day. He works hard to provide, I don’t want him to work harder if he doesn’t have too. I even have other health issues going on, he’s great at helping me if I need it. Your wife is asking you for some time to herself, which she deserves because she is taking care of your children, your home, and take care of you. What do you do? Work and leave? Why are you even together? You’re worthless in the household, you’re worthless at doing your job as a father and you’re generally a worthless husband from the sound of it. Your wife deserves better.
As for you, since he doesn’t want to do anything, please hire a babysitter on his dime. Screw him.
That’s a crap excuse of a partner… if you intend to stay, you may want to consider counseling and/or medicating for depression.
I can’t understand why you see this over and over. Someone in a bad situation and continue to get pregnant. I don’t get it. Why make your life much more difficult. This guy goes out every night and you haven’t had a night out in a year .
Your partner acts like a child. A selfish one. Is this what you really want for the rest of your life?
How do I submit an anonymous question?
I really worry about people who don’t have sense enough to stop copulating with oxygen thiefs like this male idiot after the first child. That’s all it should take to realize the enormity of your mistake! I don’t even know what to say about people who don’t learn from their mistakes 
except maybe I hope you eventually find a good therapist that you’ll listen to…
Why ask permission? Go get a shower, get dressed, grab the keys and go out the door… he’s not going to leave the kids alone. He’ll have no choice but to watch them 
They are only small for a lil bit… one day you gonna be alone wishing you was stuck in the house with your kids
Stick your kid in daycare. The socialization will be good for them. Before anyone screams how expensive it is, theres childcare assistance for a reason, with just 1 income there’s no reason they should be deemed ineligible. And for gods sake stop having kids with him, you saw how he was with your first kid & got pregnant again thinking he’d change the 2nd time around! Yes birth control can fail, but there are options when it does. Stop letting him treat you like a doormat & get yourself out of the situation.
Why can’t your mom babysit? Stop playing house with someone that is not your spouse is my suggestion. He is not going to change as long as you allow him to treat you any kind of way.
So this has been an issue for clearly over and year and you decided it was a good idea to bring another baby into a bad situation?
You probably don’t really need a full day - just start with morning 9-12 and then swap with another mom - she gets 9-12 another day or 10-2 or whatever
Wow so messed up.If I were you I wouldn’t be getting pregnant again with another child of his…Hope you figure things out
R U N He’s never going to change
Yup. That’s what you are. Free sex and baby mama. Time you two talk. He didn’t marry you either
I realize he works 12 hour shifts but so do you. You need human contact I don’t understand why MIL can’t handle two kids once in a while What’s with bfs anyway?
Get rid of him he’s not helping you anyway and he sounds very old fashioned in his thinking
Get a job as soon as you can even if it’s part time. I know your pregnant but If he isn’t helpful or supportive now he won’t ever be and you’ll be stuck.
Bye bye 
He is a child.
Why do you keep having babies, for the life of me I don’t understand. You’re tired, you get no help , so you get pregnant again.
You chose a terrible partner. Choose to leave him the exact same way.
It didn’t work out. Oh well. Its hard but I promise you will be fine.
Sorry I’m stuck on the sister not “allowing” your mother-in-law to watch your children, your husband “getting” to work 12 hour shifts, and why he would be going out every night
Holy f*** what an ass! That is maybe one of the most insane things I’ve ever heard! You need to leave this man and if you can’t because of financial reasons you go out there and find a man who can take care of you! I absolutely do not condone cheating but some cases it may need to be done. You deserve so much better and this man deserves none of your respect. And the only reason I would say cheat, is I know friends in situations where they can’t afford to be a single mom so they stick around and that’s miserable. So you may have to stay with him while and while doing this go out and look for a man who treats you right! Then he can get what he deserves and has coming
I’ll never understand why women tolerate men treating them as if the only thing they’re good for is taking care of kids and being a maid. You’re not the only one that became a parent. Those are his children as well. You should not have to ask him for time off, or to babysit his own kids. Stand up for yourself and TELL him that you’re going to get a few nights a month, to yourself, while he stays home with his kids. The longer you let him isolate you, the worse it’s going to get. It’s only going to get harder. If he still denies you your alone time, boot him out the door for good. What’s going to change? He’s already not doing his part in being a parent. Not to mention if you’re not happy, it will rub off on the children and they don’t deserve that.