I am having issues with my childs teacter: Advice?

I have been having trouble with my 5th grades teacher. I have never gotten a bad report on my daughters behavior at school. This teacher is very quick to say your kid did this but not give me the whole story. I just wanted to know what the other kids was doing when this behavior was going on. And i wanted to make sure all kids involved got the same consequences. This same teacher has had a no touching rule in here class since day 5 of school for the whole class when only a few kids are the problem. My concern is if this no touching continues how will this effect the kids in the long run mentally and social

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am having issues with my childs teacter: Advice?

No touching what exactly? Other peoples things or other people? No one really needs to be touching anyone. Maybe just a hug or high 5

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Life has included no touching people since covid. At alot of places are still doing it. No one should really be touching anyone anyways In School.

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When I asked what was happening “before” and didn’t receive an answer… I told the teacher and the principal that I will be attending classes daily to figure this out then!

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My rule has always been hands and feet to yourselves…even if playing. Also, have you scheduled a face to face with the teacher?

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Growing up are school had a "“hands, feet and objects to yourself” policy. I think we grew up just fine.

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They will not discuss other children and their punishment with you

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No touching shouldn’t affect the education
My kids don’t like to be touched

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So, your kid can’t keep her hands to herself and you what? Want to know what they did to warrant your kid getting physical?

Unclear

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Well first honestly they shouldn’t be touching each other anyway, imo. Id have a problem if my child came home and said someone was putting hands on them. I am also positive my children would prefer not to be touched I don’t think that is causing any anything, other then no one should be touching you.

Secondly I don’t care a bit what other kids were doing or what consequences they got, If my child did something that needs a consequence they should get one. If sally did it and didn’t get caught or Jack did it but didn’t get in to trouble I literally do not care.

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What we talking about here. Like is you’re kid hugging to meny people or is she hitting them?
I’m generally confused

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Given covid… and how germs are so easily spread at schools… no touching is a great rule.

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I don’t like kids touching my kids or vise versa. I just spoke to assistant principal at my daughters middle school because a girl can’t keep her hands off of her.

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Oh you too, my son had this horrible teacher. Made him cry all the time. Then they tried to out my daughter with he same teacher … I fixed that quick, you can make them change teachers

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When i have issues at school with my kid i get the principal and teacher together and chat so everyone is on the same page and no he said she said. If the issue persist ive gone so far as to change teachers.

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In our school district, we have KYHFOOTY keep your hand feet & other objects to yourself. It’s to protect everyone. My kids were touchy they had to learn not to touch. If they’re playing or something might be a little different, depends. I’m a substitute teacher it’s tricky. Talk to the teacher.

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Hands and feet to yourselves is the general rule! However, By 5th grade…this shouldn’t be an issue! I would schedule an in person meet with the teacher and my student!

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You kinda need to be more specific. Children definitely should know to keep hands to selves, and it applies to all. Especially post Covid? No touching what? What was she reprimanding exactly? Classrooms have rules you may think some are silly, but not a bad one.

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Well teachers generally have a policy of not discussing children who you are not the parent of, except for extremely pertinent information that has to do with your own child. That said, most teachers are very open with communication. Just ask for a meeting to talk anything out. Once she explains her rules and why you may have a better understanding.

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So are you made your kid can’t touch others?

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How would no touching effect the education? Seriously?

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They cannot legal tell you anything on the other kids. As for no touching. I thought it was common sense to teach our kids to keep our hand and feet to ourselves. Not everyone likes to be touched. We taught our kids to scream “your in my bubble” if they don’t want touched.

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Request a change! My 5th grade teacher was like this and it only got worse she was horrible, belittling and just ruined school for me. To this day I hate her.

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I literally am dealing with this now. I got a message saying that my son was rude to the school nurse (still don’t know the story she won’t send me the email) and then not even an hour later sends me another message saying another child hit him in the face ?? He’s in second grade, told me to speak to him about the proper way to treat adults (which we absolutely do - I find it odd he was rude to the nurse bc he visits her more than he should and never had an issue with this before) it’s wrong I get it, but so is hitting my boy in the face?! I agree with no touching, extremities should be kept to themselves, unless like a high five or something of that nature.

Kids have to keep their hands to themselves. It’s a good rule.

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Depends on the kind of touching

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Why should they be touching each other anyway? Covid is still a thing. But to your issue ask to come in and watch the day maybe

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I totally get being a concerned parent n im with you all the way but I think its a good thing NO TOUCHING , no reason to be touching other kids period thats where things start at .

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This is very simple, stop worrying abt other kids unless there is a bullying problem. If you truly think your child is being singled out, have a face to face.
I’ve had a No Touching rule my kids whole lives. :tipping_hand_woman: Keep your hands to yourself. Unless someone is bleeding or choking, there’s no need to touch anybody. It keeps them out of trouble.

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Ummm your kid shouldn’t be touching anybody anyway. And nobody should be touching her. How will your kid be affected by keeping her hands to herself?

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Teach your kid to respect space and boundaries. See if the issue continues

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Your kid is like 11 or so and is old enough to keep their hands to themselves…also the teacher is contacting you about YOUR child not all the other children, they would be contacting THEIR parents about them

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Why are you concerned about everyone else’s kids and not yours? Yours clearly is part of the problem. Focus on your kid. Let the other parents focus on theirs.

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So let me guess, you want your child to be able to touch any and everybody.?

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Nothing wrong with a no touching rule in the class room
Every teacher in the world has delt with unruly students at some point

Then Has to deal with the “My kid doesn’t do that” parents
I agree all involved including your child needs to accept the consiquences of their actions
Reguardles of what grade they are in
If that means extra time in class,suspension or detention so be it

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With monkey pox and everything else going around I think it’s good the teacher has a rule that you’re not supposed to touch other people. Why would your child need to be touching other children in the first place? I think you just don’t want to accept that your child is misbehaving so you’re looking to put the blame on the teacher

It’s none of your business what punishment was given to the other students because you arent their parent, and your kid is old enough to keep her hands to herself.

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If you feel the teacher isn’t a proper fit then ask for her to be switched. Not every teacher will be a good fit for each student.
As far as the hugging there is most likely many reasons behind this. My daughter hated being touched. She would freak out on them. Then a bigger issues came. So just because it doesn’t work for you and your child doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for the whole class

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Children need to keep their hands and feet to themselves. All of them. And it’s not your concern what the consequences for the other children are, it’s the concern of the teacher and other parents that directly deal with it. Focus on your child

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There should always be a no touching rule. That literally doesn’t bother yours kids education when they can’t touch others lol. It’s also not your business what happens with the other kids. I’m sure the teacher is handling it. If you are worried call a meeting with her and your kid. You’d be surprised what the kids finally spill when we get parents and teacher involved

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I have no problem with the no touching rule. It’s been in place at every school we’ve gone to and it has not affected my kids negatively at all.

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We all have rules to follow in life. I agree with the teacher I don’t want no one to touch my child. Teacher isn’t picking on your child she’s asking everyone to follow the same rules.

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With the experiences I have had with teaching, most likely she is trying to avoid touching so all the kids won’t eventually get tired of being touched and get in a fight. Also, moving into the upper grades they are not allowed to have any PDA. On the topic of behavior, maybe with so many kids that teachers now have in classrooms he/she may not be seeing everything that actually happened. Nonetheless, I’m sorry you are going through a rough time.

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Why would your child need to touch another in school ? He not get it at home or something ?

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As far as the teacher accusing your child of something I personally think you’re well within your rights to ask questions to gain a better understanding of the entire situation - the teacher can’t give you names but they can def disclose everything that led up to whatever they’re saying your child did - and I’d totally want to make sure the teacher was being fair with how she reprimands everyone so wanting to make sure there’s no special treatment is normal

As far as no touching rule I see nothing wrong with that

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I prefer nobody touch my child. And in 5th grade- old enough to know to keep their hands to themselves. :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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Ummmm back in the mid 90’s they called that sexual harrassment/harassment at our school. Besides that, Covid is still a thing. Keep your hands to yourself! And back tf up :woman_facepalming:t4:

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I work in a nursing home and I have recently watched a female speech therapist at work get walked out of the facility for walking by a male nurse manager and simply touch his top shoulder. He was offended by her touching him.
No touch policy
The teachers are teaching the kids the way of the twisted world they’re about to enter upon graduation.

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If my kid is defending self or playing tag etc i dont see a need to punish. Ialways ask for the situation. I also am a stubborn pain in a** and can give anyone a run for there money. Challenge accepted!!!

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Kids in 5th grade should know better. Keeping your hands to yourself even in kinder is taught.

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5th grade teacher with 21 years experience here:

Your child is growing up and maturing as we speak, however, their brain has a long way to go. The kid they present as at home is guaranteed to be very different than the kid they are at school with friends.

When I read your post I hear you judging a professional in the educational field with degrees and years of training under their belt rather than working with them to help your child be the best they can be.

If this is the attitude you choose to take then buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Your kid will figure out (quickly) that you will defend them rather than work with the school and their behavior will escalate to bigger issues.

Listen to the teacher, parent your child and let the teacher deal with the other kids. Would you appreciate the teacher sharing your child’s consequences/behaviors with other parents? I doubt it. Her not telling you about other children is a matter of confidentiality.

Don’t be the “my kid can do no wrong” parent. It will NOT set your child up for success in the older grades.

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Most schools will have no touching rules in class or out in the playground if theres been inappropriate behaviours. And it’s typically one rule for all. There’s 1 teacher to many kids, they can’t possibly make singular rules for each kid. And if your child has misbehaved, it really doesn’t matter what the other kids were doing unless it’s been a serious incident where that information is necessary. End of the day, what is it that you’re trying to accomplish? What information do you need that will change your parenting or schooling outcomes? If you really need to take this further to address it, request a meeting with the teacher to find out why your child may be getting pulled up and what can be done on both sides to resolve it.

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What’s teacter​:roll_eyes::rofl: Is this letter for real?!:roll_eyes::rofl:

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My kid is in 5th grade. Had a so called friend rip her hair tye out and then proceed to pull her hair. My kid repeatedly asked her to stop. No adult saw it. Daughter doesn’t know why she did it. She claims this girl is her friend. Told my girl that absolutely no one is to lay a hand on you. I have messaged her teacher told her my daughters side. And also told her that of it happens again I have told my child to take up for herself. Haven’t heard anything yet. We shall see.

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I will it affect them? No touching seems like a good rule

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Aren’t you supposed to keep your hands to yourself? I don’t understand the problem.

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No touching Rule is to prevent children from hitting each other,please dont be that “not my kid” parent you will do a great injustice to you’re child when she grows up and lives in the real world

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Man… I truly feel bad for teachers these days. Teachers aren’t supposed to tell you about other peoples children or their consequences. They are supposed to talk to you about YOUR child. Teach your child about consent and keeping their hands to themselves. Your kid has no right to touch others and should know better by 10-11.

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Kids should be keeping their hands to themselves anyway so how is this a problem?

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Your child’s teacher is not allowed to discuss another student’s ANYTHING with you. I am certain the consequences are similar, but again none of your business. How about you teach your child to follow the rules of the class, no matter how other students are behaving? She will NOT be traumatized from following rules, nor will lack of touc hing or being touched by classmates! As a mother of two, now adult daughters, there will be many days coming when the hormones hit and she’s holding hands, wrestling, tickling, snuggling at the movies , and you will look back to this time and pat yourself on the back for affirming "no touching " in class, gym, bathroom or playground. If you think she needs human touch, hug her each time before and after you have the necessary talks about rules, funny feelings we all experience when some people touch us, and also those giddy feelings we may get when touched by another! You got this mama but you are way overthinking the potential harm to her mental health! :v:

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What will they learn?! For fucks’ sake, they’ll learn to respect personal space!

You have zero right to know what other students do that does not directly affect your child, so get that out of your mind right now. Not your business. Tell your kid to keep their hands to themselves.

Seriously? Sounds like you don’t want to believe your child misbehaves or doesn’t listen. The no touching rule is definitely appropriate and you need to get over it. It’s also none of your business what consequences she gives the other students since those students are not your child. If you have a problem with the rules etc then maybe you need to homeschool your child in the future.

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If they have a zero tolerance rule for no touching it doesn’t matter what happened before the incident or whom it involved, your child will be disciplined for it as will any child that violated the rule. That’s why they call it zero tolerance :woman_shrugging:

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The teacher can tell you about your kid’s behavior. If you make the teacher the enemy, it won’t work out too well.

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Huh? No touching is an issue with you? My kids follow a no touching rule, and school didn’t teach them that - I did. There is no reason for kids to be touching each other.

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I work in 4th and 5th grade class rooms and unfortunately touching is a problem.It could be teasing, actual hitting because someone is upset or flirting so either way it’s not ok.Every class/school I’ve ever worked at or my kids been to all has that rule and consequences would very depending on the situation and child.Kids who tend to do it to hurt others will be different and someone just playing around.Depends on if someone got hurt or was it just a push or poke.Kids who have behavior plans may fallow different consequence plan…I personally would meet with the teacher and your child and find out what it was even all about.If you feel the teacher is wrong or is going after your child then you go to the principal.When you meet with principal request your daughter move classes.If that don’t help file a complaint.I actually had to have my attorney write my complaint for my daughter because she was being sexually harassed and the principal and vice principal blamed her because she hit the boy…Kids will be kids always find out what’s going on because even our own children do things they shouldn’t be doing

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There is privacy rules. You dont get to just know everything about other pols kids and their consequences too unless you child is a victim of some sort. Wtf. Leave the teacher alone

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Okay Karen. :ok_hand:
No touching is good. Okay!
Drugs are bad Karen.

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You think your daughter teacher is mean you should have seen my 5th grade teacher she was satan😡 I’m not joking…

My mom wanted all sides of the story. If I came and tattled, she would ask “and what did you do/what was your response/etc”.
Maybe her kid is reacting. If this is abnormal behavior for her kid she needs the whole story.
If her kid has been lying and manipulative she needs the whole story.
She needs to know so she can take corrective measures at home or teach her kid a different way to handle a situation. And if she gets the whole story she may have a suggestion for the teacher and or need to reach out to the other parents.

I don’t understand the question about no touching. You’re not allowed to touch anybody.

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If you have concerns, how about talking with the school counselor or principal.

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Uh… the kids don’t need to touch each other to socialize. That’s weird.

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Why should they be touching each other
How about keep your hands to yourself ? Weird

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No touching Someone is a great rule, keep your hands to yourself adults need that rule to.

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We have a “hands to yourself” rule in my daycare. It’s important children learn self awareness and boundaries at a young age.

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How about… dont worry about what the other kids are doing and worry about your own. You discipline your child and that’s one less issue for the teacher.

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My kids school has a hands to yourself policy. I love it. In fact my son got kissed on the arm by another classmate last week and I was informed immediately of this as my son does NOT like anyone touching or especially kissing him AT ALL. The teacher called me and let me know my son handled it as nice as possible which surprised me honestly cause I know my kid when it comes to that stuff but he did it because of the rules they have for them and he is respectful.

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Ok…your concern for a no touching rule is a bit weird😆

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May be she’s a bad teacher.chech with other parents.see what they say.

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Yea my daughters school makes the kids “earn “ the right to talk at lunch time, and sometimes it’s on certain tables smh

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I don’t think children have to touch to socialize. They are in 5th grade. Obviously your daughter doesn’t like to follow the classroom policy.

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Wow… Your kid is going to be very entitled. You’ve lost your mind.

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What did I just read …

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It doesn’t matter what happened, no touching is no touching. Your daughter was caught breaking the rule and the teacher let you know. It’s up to you to speak with your child. Due to the unfortunate circumstances I was in with my abusive ex until I had him removed by police, my son witnessed his dad putting his hands on me in a violent manner. My ex tried to tell my son that he has anger issues and people just seem to not care and upset him so he does what he does and it’s the other person’s fault because they should know better…because…anger issues. So I have had to teach my son that not only is that wrong, because he has a choice to NOT lay his hands on someone no matter how mad they make him, but there are personal bubbles he should respect. That he should get permission before touching someone. Such as, hey you have something on your back, would you like me to get it off you? Hey you look sad, would you like a hug. In the long run I hope he grows up knowing no one has a right to just touch him without permission and that he respects others to not do so without permission as well. I’m sure there will be many girls and women who will appreciate this as well…no touching rules are not bad. They are there for a reason.

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There are certain privacy laws that prevent educators from telling unaffiliated parties (parents and even other teachers) disciplinary actions taken against other students. Here in the US it’s called FERPA.

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I no touching in one class shouldn’t affect them they have many more communication throughout the day

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What’s wrong with the no touching rule? Keep your hands to yourself and learn boundaries

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This is a joke right?! No touching? Your kid shouldn’t be touching anyone.

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Why is this a problem? Her classroom her rules. Teach your daughter to follow the rules. Not that hard.

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I teach my kids that if someone lays a hand on you make sure you do whatever it takes to prevent them from doing it again. If someone is picking on others you better defend them.

Agree or disagree but you better teach your kid boundaries before a kid like mine does.

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You can only control yourself and your children. If that is the policy and your child has broken that rule then it is up to you to rectify it so they dont do it again in the future. What happens with others is not your concern.

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You need to worry about your kid and your kid only not your business what other kids do or get. Get over it you don’t own her classroom. Maybe get on your own child for acting bad. Also your child shouldnt be putting her hands on anyone wtf… you sound like a child grow up

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The no touching rule has been around for a while.

I don’t know if there has been enough research to see if there is negative mental and social implications.

There has been a no touching rule at a ton of schools since the pandemic and even before then between teachers and students

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Request a different teacher and move on. It’s too early in the year to already have drama

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Teachers, school employees in general are good at not giving the whole story. That’s because theyre hiding something either they, another school staff member or a preferred student did. They want you to think your kid is bad. For example my son tried calling me at recess to tell me he wasn’t allowed to eat lunch. The principal lost her walkie talkie & it was made to be his responsibility to find it. So he had to skip lunch. They immediately took his phone from him & made it all about him having a phone in school (which this kind of crap is why he has it). When I asked about them punishing him because the principal couldn’t keep track of her belongings they kept going back to the phone & other minor stuff. They never told me why he had to skip lunch. Crap like that is why I never listen to school staff. They can’t be trusted to tell the truth ever. Talk to your kid. She will tell you the truth.

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Soooooo you want the kids to put hands on your daughter? But for the first part of your post kids have not so good behaviors even your angel. Some teachers are different in what they believe warrants a bad behavior report. Have your tried just asking in person what happened in the incident. And no she’s not going to give you specific details as to names or how that kid was punished for one the punishment for the other child is not your business
As for the no touching especially5th graders

Wow. So if she tells you what happened with the other kids, you’re okay with her telling the other kids’ parents what happened to your daughter? It is none of your business. Mind your own business and tend to your own child.

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Why is your kid touching others at all let alone enough for it to warrant the teacher bringing it up

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