I have been dating someone I met in August 2021 on match.com. We hit it off instantly. Talked on the phone for hours at a time during the first week. We then met week 2nd and it was fireworks. A little backstory:I have been divorced for almost 4 years. I have 2 girls, 7 and 10yo and have them 50%. I had my own apartment for the first 3 years and then moved in with my mom since my dad passed away.Well, the man I met on Match.com was moving near my mom’s house shortly after I moved in. He moved in (10 minutes away from my mom’s house) but after a month he broke the lease and moved in with me. We could not stand living apart. He is amazing with my girls and mom. He fits in in every way but the relationship has taken a turn. Yes, we moved too fast and there was a lot that we needed to learn about each other. Well, fast forward to today and he is still all in but I have a worry of settling. To complicate things, I met someone organically two.months after my bf and I started dating. Nothing happened at first, especially since my girls were always with me. Long story short every Tuesay my daughter had speech therapy so her sister and I would go next door to eat at Outback (where he worked). He has given me and my girls gift for the holidays and a vacay he took to Hawaii. He is amazing with my girls and we have gotten to k ow each other so well that there is something more developing. I am so torn between settling with someone who does not check off all the boxes or someone I am feeling more of a connection with. PS. My love language is touch and affection.My current BF is NOT romantic and affectionate. We have had several conversations about it but he is not going to change nor do I want to. I just don’t feel cherished by him at all. I have never felt so uncherished before.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am in a love triangle and don't know what to do
This made me fume. Cheating on a man living with you. Just awful, great morals
Idk girl sounds like to me you need to focus on one man which ever one u have a bigger Connection two
As if you keep introducing your kids to all these different men!
You should have probably asked these questions before stepping out or entertaining another man.
First you need to talk to the current guy and probably break it off it’s not fair to him esp if he’s already met your kids and moved in I think you guys just went in it way too fast without thinking the outcome of it., cheating wont be good so you may as well end it now so you don’t hurt him in the long run, or he finds out or they both find out and you end up with neither of them
You need to talk to the guy you’re with. Let him know how you feel and what you feel like you need from him, but aren’t getting. And if you want out, you should tell him that. But it isn’t fair to him or your kids for you to carry on with this guy from Outback and him. It’s setting a terrible example for them. It’s also going to cause trust issues no matter which way it goes. Also, what happens if your daughter lets it slip to your boyfriend that you have a man friend? Consequences to your choices.
Why in the world are you taking your young daughter around strange men you hardly know???
Sounds like you need to work on you and can’t be alone. Affection, attention or whatever you call it is you justifying your feelings. Stop introducing your kids and pump the damn breaks. One guy shows you the slightest attention and you jump ship. It will always happen then.
Girl you can’t settle… you need to make sure you’ll be happy. And the person you’re going to try to spend the rest of your life checks all the boxes… you’re gone through one divorce so you want to waste your time settling?? No way life to short to be unhappy in a relationship girl … Ik the hardest part is having “the conversation “ with the guy and telling him it’s over but once it’s done you’ll feel better and happy…
Nah stop introducing random a$$ men to kids. This is how kids get abused. Smh
Kick your boyfriend out…it’s going nowhere. And don’t be so quick to move the next one in.
I think you better stay single cause all you are is a cheater
You don’t deserve anyone
I hope they both find out and leave you. Your girls dont need this shizz
Sounds like you need to concentrate on your kids and not being every Tom dick and Harry into their lives because you don’t know what you want. The fact that you moved a man you barely know into your family home around your kids speaks volumes to me… sort it out
And I thought my situation was different. Pm me if you want
Let dude know and be honest break it off so y can see where it goes with the out back dude…if ur asking its bc u want to try it out with him so do it
And then you’ll end it with BF#1 for BF#2 then you’ll do the same to BF#2 with BF#3 and it will repeat itself. I think you need to look deep within yourself and figure out your own internal issues
Girl get yourself all the way together…you are not in a love triangle you are a cheater and nasty af:woman_facepalming:
Shoot me before I read the whole article. PLEASE!!!
You sound like my mother who was more concerned about the men in her life than being a decent Parent. And yes I resent my mother for what she did to us kids because it’s exactly what you are doing to your kids.
Don’t introduce the children until you know your relationship is for sure. I didn’t let my Fiancee of the last 3 years meet my Daughter until nearly a year and a half into the relationship.
Please stay single until you can get right with you first for your kids.
Um. Let’s unpack this.
This dude moved in. With you. Rather quickly. Because y’all could not stand to be apart. (Could of fooled me).
Then you meet another dude and you have more of a connection. Okay cool.
You need to stop stringing along the dude A. Break up with him. Whatever you need to do. But this is high school shit. And it’s not cute.
And the fact that you keep introducing your kids to these different dudes. Yea. That’s not the move.
I’m not perfect. I’ve fucked up. But I cleaned up my mess. Now it’s time for you to clean yours.
Go with ur Gut & Heart
How long till your sick of this one to ?? Is what I’m seeing.
You so have the fear of missing out! Make up you mind or you will end up with none.
You have your answer in your question… he’s not going to change and neither are you . So break it off
Put your kids first… Stop jumping from man to man and confusing them. Ffs stop cheating
He needs out of your moms house asap
Looks like you’ve answered your own question
Why are you bringing your daughters around strange men?
Stop wasting both their time and stop setting your poor kids up for heartbreak and get your shit together. You don’t really care about EITHER of the men or you wouldn’t be treating them the way you are. You’re a player. Crap behavior all around.
You need to choose who you want to break the relationship off with because that’s unfair to the men and your daughters
You are hopping from one to another far too quick as well as already having moved one strange man into the house with you, your kids, and your mom. You need to have the first guy leave, tell the second you need more time if you really feel more connected and take at least 2yrs to get yourself together. 1.) Move into your own place, 2.) Get to know the person BEFORE you have them in your home or around your kids (get to know them at least a year or two prior to meeting the kids) THEN make a decision.
Do what makes you happy. I think you already know what you want. You wouldn’t of spent so much time getting to know someone else if you were truly in love with your current partner to begin with. Unfortunately some people make better friends than lovers and we don’t know or realize it until after the sparks wear off. I wish you the best. Good luck. Take care!
You need to love yourself before you can ever love anyone else.
You don’t deserve either.
Dosent sound like your ready for a relationship. Have a play with other people who are also playing.
So basically you’re a player in the end. You’re stringing along two guys just to figure out which one you actually want. You let this guy move in with you even tho you was talking to another guy. You’ve been allowing your kids around both guys
One of your kids is going to slip up on accident and say something then you’re going to be the one who going to sit there and explain everything about the other guy
You definitely do have yourself in a mess cause of your own decisions. Now you need to tell both guys that you’ve been playing them both for almost a year and if they both dump you oh well that’s on you. Also good luck on getting the current guy out of your mama house since legally he has to be evicted now from the premises if you decide you don’t want to be with him or if he breaks up with you for your actions.
Everything that happens in the dark will always come to the light. Remember that.
U need to be single and connect with all these guys without moving them in and starting a future with any of them. And dear lord quit bringing them around your kids
This is why you never date someone fresh from a breakup or divorce. They are looking for anything to fill in he void, getting their confidence back and just needing some affirmation and a distraction. I feel this will backfire on the OP but we all have our lessons to learn. However, the kids suffer the most.
You want your cake and eat it too!!
You don’t deserve to be cherished by a man you don’t even care about.
I think you already know by the sound of it. Your talking your boyfriend down while talking this guy up.
The example you’re setting for your kids is embarrassing
Spend some time with yourself and your kids before those precious years you have with them are gone
I suggest stop introducing and bringing men, that you don’t know very well, around your 2 DAUGHTERS!
Long story short YOU ARE A CHEATER
You don’t deserve either of these men… that’s just facts
see yourself out so the triangle breaks. Its the obvious answer. I dont know why its even a question.
Your poor daughters, you moved a total stranger into your home & now brought another stranger into the mix. Sounds like you only like the excitement that happens at the beginning of relationships but your daughters shouldn’t have to potentially suffer because of that.
So basically you’re cheating I hate cheating break up with one or the other especially when you’re taking your kids with them.
I’m just here thinking I need to re-evaluate my life/career choices. Working at Outback and taking a new girlfriend on a vacay to Hawaii?! Shoot. I’m a nurse and some days I wonder if I can afford to just fill my gas tank all the way up to get me to the next town over.
Is this an intro to a book?
how embarrasing for your girls, especially risking your daughters to be in an unsafe situation ( perverts )?? because women like you that are a mess. Do you know the vdanger your putting bhem in???
There is 1 word I could use to describe you, but I don’t want to end up in FB Jail.
Break it off with both of them.
Get the guy to move out of your house so he can find someone who loves him for just who he is. You said yourself he diesnt check off all your boxes, so your not giving him a gift or doing him a favor to sentence him to a life with someone who is pretty much thinking that she’s settling . Do not live Werth anyone else until you’re engaged. Figure your stuff out. Moving in with a guy agree a month with 2 kids is dangerous. Right now your biggest problem is you don’t think you have to be faithful. The next time your biggest problem might be that the guy sexually abuses your kids and youn dint find out until it’s too late.
You’re not thinking correctly .
Your not in a love triangle, you’re cheating. Be honest with both. X
You don’t deserve either. If u Leave ur bf for him. No doubt you will do it again with the next one. You brought two strangers into Ur Daughters Life… the Example ur settings for your Daughters are UnHealthy and Embarrassing.
personally I would leave the Bf He deserves someone better and I would STAY single for awhile.
Girrrrrrrl ctrl… alt…delete￼ tf did I just read ???
Some entanglement s*** going on here huh
Let him go, move on, you’re not married.
Please move the man out of your home ,get some therapy yo work throughyour need to have a man. Spend time with your kids. Work hard enjoy your mom and stsy away from men for a while
Sooo I thought s triangle is when one know about the other…you know about both but do they know they both side pieces
W e i r d af
You don’t really know the Outback guy, he might just be putting on a show for you now
People have nice problems. While others can’t get 1 man or woman. This lady got 2 men and she doesn’t know who to pick. Sounds like u like outback guy more. Just know the grass is not always greener on the other side. So before u break off a good thing for a feel good be sure. And also try and set better examples for your kids.
You might be polyamorous. Whereas, I think you made a mistake moving him in so soon, when you have children, I think you really need to research polyamory and try to find yourself.
If you doubt the first, go for the second. Always been my motto
What i really wanna know… how did your live in bf not know that you were going on a whole trip to Hawaii with some other dude?! Dont your kids talk about outback dude?? My kids would sing like canaries… ((but I also wouldn’t do ANY of this)). Stop cheating on, what sounds to be decent men, and focus on YOURSELF and your KIDS.
STOP bringing your kid around these men until you can decide what suits you better
Girl , you a Hua and needa slap . You can’t be serious I can’t with this …. Sorry but , you is a hoe , pick one and let the other find someone else who ain’t gonna cheat
don’t settle. we are living, live. have fun, be with the right person, i would break it off with the first guy, but wouldn’t make anything solid with the second. just have some fun and be single.
So ya cheating
Do them both a favour and end it with them both they both deserve better
You do know what a loce triangle is right? This doesn’t sound like one just sounds like you have two boyfriends and need to figure out which one you want before they both figure out about each other and leave your a$$. A relationship is a lot of work and if you can’t put in the effort you should probably stay single. I’ve been with my guys for five years and it’s not been easy but something worth having is worth working for.
Tell the live in bf he’s got to go. Life is too hard and too short for you to live without affection. That you still love him but it will be from a distance and that you need to find someone who meets your needs.
What a bad example you are setting for your children!! I am surprised your mum hasn’t said anything to you; unless she has the same low standards. You are an absolute disgrace. I have been cheated on in the past and it devastated me when I found out
If you can’t do it for yourself then please do it for your girls and get rid of ones of the men.
I mean clearly you have felt so “uncherished” because YOU’RE DIVORCED.
Your children should be separate from your dating life until you know for sure what the right move is. Set the example.
Move him in too and live a Poly lifestyle
I could say alot but I don’t wanna be in FB Jail again. But darn 1 is enough. Not teaching them girls of yours any good cheating and hiding things from partners,
Eek there’s a pattern here… keep going this way and you’ll be in the same situation with outback dude before long
So I would be very careful making decisions that involve men moving in or having access to your daughters. It is the perfect set up for a pedophile, and as you admit your love language is physical affection (which is the easiest non committed way), which sounds like you need to get some counseling. You have some broken character and maturity pieces that need to be looked at, one of them is how you disrespect the trust of a person and your inability to be truthful and authentic. But to be honest I am more concerned for your daughters who have now seen mom bring one man into the home and is in attendance when she is checking out another man at Outback. Without some counseling you are going to continue to repeat the mistakes that you have made with men in the past. Lust is not a good foundation for a complete and healthy relationship.
You’re just constantly searching for the spark. You have fear of missing out. You need to realize, all relationships end up comfy eventually and lose the initial fireworks.
Talk about having cake and eating it, your a cheat simples… if it were a man playing two women off they’d be far worse comments.
sounds like you’re just a cheater.
sounds like you’re just a cheater.
Wait wait wait. You have your girls living with one man and going on vacations and play dates with another man…none of which are their father?? Girl, love aint got nothing to do with this. This is just a bunch of hot box activity and its unfortunate the kids are being thrown into the mix. 1. Get that grown man out your moms house. Why on earth would u bring a man u barely know to live with your kids?! He needs to go.
- Leave the lil steakhouse alone. Sounds like he put some good D on u and now u think ur in love. He likes the chase. If u were to leave ur man for him he would be over it in max 3 months and uve put ur poor kids through enough covering up your lying and cheating.
Last but most certainly not leastn here’s what I want u to do. Go to betterhelp.com and sign up IMMEDIATELY.
Quit bringing men you don’t know around your girls that’ll be a good start.
I hope your online-fling turns out to be just someone hoping you’ll send em money to Jordan or Pakistan while your real one you actually have dumps you off at some corner. I don’t see what less you deserve.
I’m not reading all that but I’m happy for you or sorry that happened
What are you torn about? He doesn’t check off your boxes. You’re not married! Leave him and get with the man you really want. Why is this even a question??
You need to look at yourself hard and long before you go any further…
You need help. You are a hot mess I feel bad for your girls!
You already know you moved too fast with your current boyfriend. I would end things with the current boyfriend and don’t date anyone and work on yourself for a bit longer. You also don’t want to keep bringing men in and out of your kids lives. Next guy I would take it very slow and wait a while before getting more serious. Get to really know them first.
Stay in your own backyard. Focus on kids and then live in bf-since he IS there! Drop Outback dude since you also had the spark with the live in dude too. Go on dates once a week or month and show better example for your kids.
You definitely shouldn’t be having two different guys around your kids like that… You’re teaching them wrong big time and both guys deserve better honestly
What if one of them inappropriately touched your girls?
I mean u don’t know them and your randomly moving them into your MOTHER’S house…
Get a job. You obviously have to much time on your hands. Move out and do something about the guy muching off your mom. Get you kids in therapy. Stop introducing them to men you know nothing about. SET AN EXAMPLE!!
If you have a hard time choosing between two or more people none of them are for you because if they were the decision would be easy. That’s the rule I live by. I won’t even date someone who has to choose between me and someone else…the other person can have them
i would be wary about who i bring around my kids, not just go right into it.
i get some people don’t love being single, but you gotta be cautious as well. sending all love
Why Would you bring a strange man into your mothers house and living there with your daughters. What is wrong with you.
I want say what I feel but you have many problems. The men need to run fast!
I bet you left out the part where the Outback guy is married. I’m sure he must be aware you have a live in boyfriend! This is so gross! Tell the live in boyfriend the truth. Let him go. Enjoy the next 6 months with the Outback guy until one of you get your karma and one of you are hurt by the other one. Why would you have your children spending time with both men? Just come clean and break it off with the boyfriend that there used to be fireworks with.