I am nervous no one will show up to my sons party: Advice?

I want to have a birthday party for my son since restrictions on public gathering has lifted, but I’m so nervous nobody will show up. This would be his first party where we invite his class. He takes things to heart and holds onto them, so if nobody showed up, I know it would crush him and he won’t get over it for a long time. At the same time, if I don’t try, I feel like I’m depriving him of something special. I should also mention, his birthday is in December. Is it selfish to have a party when people are already spending a lot of money for Christmas? Is there a happy medium I should lean toward more? There’s just a lot of things to consider when planning things like this and I would love other moms’ advice!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am nervous no one will show up to my sons party: Advice?

Do the party and ask for people to reserve so you get a head count. That’ll help with finding out if people are going.

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If you invite the whole class most of them are going to come. It’s not selfish to have his birthday near his birthday. A December baby deserves as much celebration as a November baby. The only thing to be aware of is that some people are away during Christmas break so if it were me I’d try to do it before or after so more people can come.

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I use to invite “family” to my daughter’s bday parties and no one would show up except my mom and sister so I don’t invite them anymore. They wouldn’t even acknowledge her bday on FB and they acknowledge everyone else. It just is what it is sometimes.

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Invite his classmates. If they do not come you can always invite neighborhood kids. Invite family too and cousins. Also having his birthday near Christmas is not being selfish. Also like the person above said invite his whole class.

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Montevallo Angel yes and write on the invitation that ‘Coming to the party is the only gift wanted, please no gifts’ :blush:

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I’m gonna play the downside here and say that I’ve paid a lot of money to invite a lot of kids to a good few parties and only one or two kids ever show up. Take your kid and a couple friends to do something fun and save your money and the heartache.

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All kids love being celebrated. If you are concerned about no shows, a good way to start is to get the child’s parents numbers, contact them and get a feel for who’s available… Doesn’t matter that it’s in December…

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My son is turning 4 on Saturday and we went and had a party for him last weekend, invited a bunch of friends that have kids and only one of them showed up and the rest was all family. I feel like if you invited the class at least most will show up :woman_shrugging:t3: as for his birthday being in December a lot of parents Christmas shop before December (besides those late shoppers lol) so I don’t think I’ll really matter if his birthday is in December

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My experience with kid’s bday parties is most parents are pretty flaky and don’t RSVP to invites, so it’s a total crap shoot on who is or isn’t coming. I’ve had it happen and I’ve seen it happen to their friends as well. I always invite cousins and family friends just in case.

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Does he have a few best friends? We stopped doing big parties because kids weren’t coming. When we lived in Utah we would invite the entire class and pretty much everyone would show. That didn’t happen when we moved here.
So, instead we have them invite a few friends and go do something fun. You could try that, then there shouldn’t be any issues with disappointment.

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I would just stick with family parties

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Sometimes if you invite the whole class only a few show up. I would make it for early December! Happy Birthday and good luck

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Make sure the invitations are “official” I had my son hand make invitations for a new kids in his class last year and no one showed. Or even texted me to see if it was legit. We have a large family with a lot of nephews and family friends with kids there so it was a good turn out but the 5 kids from class didn’t show.

Anyways. Have a talk with him. Let him know that some people might be their bff but they might not be able to make it.
And NOOOO it’s not selfish to throw your kid a birthday party in December. Always remember and teach your children, “ it’s about your presence not your presents” someone told me that once and it just stuck.

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Talk to his besties parent. Organise a day out for them together and have fun. We did this for my Eldest and he had a great time with his cousin and bestie :relaxed:

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I’m the mom that goes to 2-3 parties on a Saturday because my kid was invited by classmates.

I believe if I show to their kids bday they will most likely return the favor by coming to my kids.

At the end of the day are you putting out what you expect in return? Do you attend other kids parties with your son?

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My son’s birthday is Dec 21st. I always fo a small family party. And if people can make it they come if not then that’s fine. We also always go to my moms for the weekend where most of his cousins are and have him a weekend long party 5hete. It’s really hard having birthdays in December. But we make it work and he’s fine with it.

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You send invites 2 weeks ahead and have them RSVP by a certain date…you know your count and is way easier! Kids will come. December babies need fun birthdays to.if u feel that strongly put on the invite that no present is needed just them!

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Put on the invite to please rsvp so you have a final count but also add in a nice way that a gift is not necessary if times are tough send your child so they can have fun, some don’t send their kid cause they feel they need to bring a gift and some parents can’t do it right now

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Rather don’t have a party and spoil him and take him out to his favorite places to eat or go site seeing don’t waste money on food and ppl who won’t show up esp if lock down has been lifted, ppl will be afraid to go anywhere so soon

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My kids both have birthdays near holidays- labor day when people are out of town and valentines day and super bowl sunday. I do mine the weekend after their birthday and that seems to work well.

Only one other kid showed up but my dr doesn’t care either way at 3. Maybe a few friends and doing something special would take some pressure off.

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Not to rain on your parade but when it was myittle boys first birthday party we invited over 30 people and a day before most let us down to the point where only 8 come I hired a hall and soft play toys and lots of food a big cake now it’s coming up to his second birthday in January I’m not gonna bother and just have a little party at home with family

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When we do invitations for my daughters class, hardly any one would actually show up so when inviting a whole class you never know it’s gonna go, but I always put in the invitation no presents required because we never know what another family is going through at the time and don’t want the parents to feel bad if they can’t get something

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Just my own personal opinion: I avoid inviting a whole class they never all show up… just invite his friends. It’s better to save the heartache.

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Nobody comes yo Birthdays anymore.Unless it’s a swim party in the summer.My first son June bday; lots kids; other in April , Only family and couple of older kids.

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All he cares about is having fun and enjoying himself… If a party is causing you anxiety don’t do it! Take him to do something fun just you guys and just be honest and explain to him that a lot of the time kids want to come but the parents don’t have time to bring them or have to work etc… just explain it has nothing to do with him and that you still have something fun planned (trampoline park, painting class, go karts…)

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Plan it somewhere public so if none shows he won’t notice. My daughters birthday is in June and we had hers at the park the last 2 years and she thought the whole park was her party she didn’t even know💖

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I’ve had this happen to me like 10x. Glad my kids are 13 and 16 now. No more “parties” People RSVP and say they are coming and then they don’t and it’s a waste of money. I’ve found its better to get a few close friends and their kids and do something small. This is just my experience.

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What I started doing at my son’s 9th bday (he’s 13 now) is take the money I would spend on a party, let him pick 1 or 2 of his very good friends and let him take those 1 or 2 friends and take them to an arcade and dinner.

Or dinner and a movie.

Or for an evening of fun

I sit down with him each year and we discuss an activity. And it’s been a success.

I can’t begin to express how it has eliminated the stress of a party and the clean up. And the stress of people not showing up.

But he has had a memorable night with 2 great friends

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Maybe do invitations for the class but have a deadline on the invite for the to respond to, that way, you can give yourself enough time to ensure you have everything ready or time to plan something different if people can’t make it

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No. I have a grandson whose birthday is middle of December and one of his little friends birthday is a week earlier. They have their parties. It’s not too much to expect. Ask for rsvp

Maybe try taking a group of his closest friends to do an experience so the parents wouldn’t have to worry about bringing gifts since it’s so close to Christmas!

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I honestly wouldn’t… I would let him invite his few close friends, and then take them somewhere like a fun center, to the movies, something like that… let him make memories with his close friends… and avoid a heartbeat from hardly nobody showing up…

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My daughter had her 7th birthday in July and we had 20+ children and 15 adults outside we did the bouncy caste and were nervous of the same thing, my mom taught me to invite double the amount of people you expect or want to show up so that hopefully 1/2 of them atleast rsvp or do come :slightly_smiling_face:

Here’s my 2 cents. Lol. I’ve spent way to much money on Birthday parties for my daughter’s. Yes they had a good time but not a lot of kids showed up from k-2 grades. Call the school and make arrangements to take cupcakes in for snack time and maybe a goodie bag. Then they can sing happy Birthday so he can have his special moment.

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My husbands birthday is December 8th, right before Christmas. Growing up, his parents told him that it was to cold out and people were already spending money on Christmas, so no one would want to come to a party. He doesn’t celebrate his birthday now.

My birthday is January 2nd, right after Christmas. My parents always made sure that I had a birthday something or other growing up. Even if it was a family only party with just cake and ice cream. I celebrate birthdays.

You don’t want your child to be entitled over their birthday, but I look at it this way… birthdays are to celebrate the person and their existence. I tell my husband every year, as we celebrate his birthday, that he is something to celebrate. Even if it’s just going out to dinner or making his favorite dinner at home.

Get a feel for who will and won’t come. Ask family if they will attend and if you have contact information for any parents in his class, ask them before planning, then plan accordingly. Depending on his age, let him have a sleep over party. Pick some movies, lots of snacks and let the boys camp out in the living room for the night. He will have fun and you won’t have to go overboard and can keep it small.

Both my boys birthdays are in December and we still had parties. Not their fault they were born around Christmas. Also invite family and friends if you have friends that have kids. Never plan on the whole class up even if you invite them. Just make it fun. December birthdays are tricky because it’s usually cold. Have games, plan . Embrace the time of year.what we have also done. Is he gets to choose 1-2 friends and pick what we do. He doesn’t need a classroom full of kids to have a good time

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You could always do a movie night where he picks out three friends, go to a movie, popcorn,drinks and a candy bar and then when the movie is over either call it a night or have a sleep over. This way the kids a personally invited and you get a yes or no answer

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My daughter’s first birthday only 4 invited people showed up. Go figure, it was 3 adults and 1 kid. Spent mad money invited all our family and friends that had kids! My son’s first birthday, same thing only it was expected and we planned accordingly to make it fun still cause my niece and 2 nephews came…
Don’t waste your money! Plan for yourselves and if it’s anything money has to be spent on make sure it’s absolutely happening and reserve something that you pay the deposit and then for the rest at the time of the event like Chuck e cheese.

Make it know COVID 19 safety precautions will be taken.
Emphasis that ATTENDANCE to ENJOY and CELEBRATE is more important than gifts. ( Leave that gifts for clise family members and freind who feel they CAN)
Besides the party take him on a special outing for Biethday to balance is attendance is low.

He doesn’t need a classroom full of kids to have a good time, I would let him invite his few close friends and then take them somewhere like a fun center.

My son’s birthday is December 13th. We have a party every year. Just at our house, and just some family. Cake and gifts. He’s 13. He has never had a complaint! He enjoys it. I don’t do the whole, bunch of kid’s party. It is still special. It’s his day and his party. What isn’t special about that? You can decorate and get balloons. Or take him bowling and have cake and ice cream. Something he likes to do. Many options!

Maybe try not to tell him you’re inviting friends, and give the invitations to the parent if possible. I’ve always told my kiddos, things come up and for reason they can’t always be there. I didn’t tell my youngest his best friend was coming, I just told him I can invite her but I can’t promise she will be there.
End of the school year last year when the kids brought home everything from their locker they had 4 invitations to party’s from the school year…makes me look like a crap person cause I didn’t rsvp, but how can I if I know nothing about it.

We stopped doing parties after 4 years of not a single person showing up. Now instead we do a “birthday stay-cation”. We use the money we would have spent on party supplies(we still buy a cake,candles and a few gifts). But then allow our kids to choose an activity and we get a hotel room. Saves the heartbreak of rude people not showing up.

i know lots of classrooms have rules that you have to invite every child in class, so maybe do that and only expect maybe a third of them to show up. out of you can get phone numbers to the parents of certain kids he wants to come to his party and call them without sending out invitations to a whole class.

I’d try and arrange to just bring in cupcakes or a cake to the class (if it’s a school day) save’s you money and saves him the possible disappointment

If it’s not a school day and you really want to do the party thing write a note stating you don’t expect gifts due to it being so close to Christmas and you just want the kids present for to share in your sons big day…

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it could always be a surprise party and if people show he will be surprised if not he won’t know. I never tell my son things ahead of time for that reason. my mother always disappointed me and changed plans

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Some people with holiday birthdays do parties in the summer as half birthdays to be able to have a warm birthday party. Just another thought to the big party part. Obviously celebrate him for his actual birthday, but maybe just a couple close friends. Then have a half birthday party with lots of invites in July.

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Have a party but no gifts are needed. So it’s fun and games for the kids. Give him the experience. Requiring presents will mean many families won’t come. Some kids might want to come but their parents can’t afford a present so the child either shows up without a present and feels bad or they don’t come at all. Also remember families may have a lot of other things they have to do or already are bound to do on the weekends so they won’t be able to come. If your son can’t fathom that then you need to not have a classroom birthday party at your home.

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Early December might be easier.
RSVP is a definite. You will always get one or two now shows that did rsvp and a couple that didn’t rsvp and still show.
Even if you say rsvp by the Wednesday vefore the party you will have a good idea how many will be there

Maybe ask his teacher if you can bring pizza or just cake n ice cream to class. So all of his classmates will already be there and it’ll make him feel special

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Ask the teacher can he have a party in class.

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Why don’t you have him invite a couple friends, who he already plays with outside of school, to come to a small party/fun activity? That way he still gets that experience without potential disappointment, if that’s a concern. As far as it being December, you could always tel their parents that a gift isn’t necessary

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Make invites anyways and mention presents aren’t mandatory just time and fun. Or could do a Movie Night with his friends and supply the snacks and all. Or ask teacher if it is okay to send a cake or cupcakes. That way can have a small birthday in classroom.

My birthday is dec 23 and growing up I could never have a party due to people out of town or to close to Xmas. Maybe think about doing a half birthday in June if no one shows. Just explain to him that it’s not his friends that don’t want to come and that the parents have holiday things they have to do.

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I had a Christmas baby ( December 20 ) . We always had his party two weeks before Christmas so all the kids could come . It was wonderful! Also , if the parents don’t RSVP ( and they won’t ) you call every single one of them and tell them you are preparing for the party and you just wanted to make sure their child can come !

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Plan the party, invite the entire class & other friends and family…whoever shows up is who is meant to celebrate with you all. Whoever doesn’t missed a good time. Such is life.

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It’s not selfish because gifts shouldn’t be priority. Yes they are nice but the best part (IMO) is just having people outside of your immediate family show up and love him

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Most will not show up.

I would do a class party th3n invite family for thw house party

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Someone’s bound to show up! So chill out!

I would message parents friends that she’s close with her like these are the dates we could have Jayme ‘s party what date works best for you guys. And whatever day works best for the most people was the day we picked.

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Also in your party invite to be like no gifts are expected or required.
Showing up is the best gift you can give my kid.

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dont tell him how meny people you invite over cause then he will be expecting that meny people …

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I have 2 kids in December one the 13th one the 16th… we do a thanksgiving themed birthday celebration at the end of November. And I invite moms from work and their kids

Have party at a place all the kids will want to come to

My son just had his first party where he got to invite kids from school. His birthday is the first week of september so we always have his party a week or 2 after so we avoid everyone going away for labor day weekend. We invited 6 kids and only 3 could come. I was worried that he would think the other kids didnt like him because hes really sensitive also but he thought nothing of it. And they had a blast! He had so much fun with just the three of them. If youre worried about the timing you could do the party a week or two early. And invite 10 or so kids so theres bound to be someone showing up.

Most will not show up, even that things are finally getting back to normal some people still avoiding big gatherings.
In my opinion the best thing you can do is to talk to his teachers and ask if a little celebration can be done in the classroom that way all his friends will be there and you will also save a lot of money, you can also do something very little just for family or you can take him shopping , play bowling etc .

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Maybe have the party at a public place like sky zone, or the likes…that way even if no one comes, there’s still lots of kids there to play with and have fun.

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Isn’t that sad? We have to worry about this because people don’t respect others time and effort?
My brother was a Christmas baby and had his parties first week of December. Always okay

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I have a child born in December and I do her party in November as by the time her birthday is a lot of kids have gone on holidays

My oldests birthday is January 4th. It always falls right after Christmas break ends. For the first 2 years, I got 0 turn out from the class because the holidays are crazy and everyone just forgot. So what I started doing was planning his party for the last week of January. That got a MUCH better turn out. I’d get like 1/4 of the class and all the neighborhood kids, plus family. I also opened the party to siblings of classmates as well and requested no gifts.

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Easy-peasy, have your son invite two friends from school.

Go to an arcade or a movie. Out to pizza, then have his two friends spend the night.

It will be easier on you and make your son very happy.

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My girls were born December 14 and December 15 (not twins, 2 years apart) and I have a joint party for them the first weekend of December every year. The most important thing is to get the invites out EARLY so everyone can plan accordingly.

Let’s all teach our kids that their word is their bond: that they need to RSVP and honor their commitments, or call promptly and explain if something serious happens where they can’t. If you have the chance to teach good manners to other kids, do so. Yes, life is hectic and things change constantly, but it’s no excuse to be rude.

My oldest sons first party wr invited 16 and 1 showed up, his brothers showed up, giving us 3 more and then 2 more showed up. I spent so much time, money, and effort, but he was ok with it. Sucks looking back at it, but it was a great party.
Now we scale the party back and do small get togethers, it’s just easier.