I am not comfortable with my body around my husband: Advice?

I really really hate my body this time around and after having my second who was born almost 3 months ago now. Its not a dislike, I can actually feel my own self hatred when I look in the mirror. I feel like every part of my body shifted. I don’t know how to dress myself. I’ve put on weight before and fluctuated but now I just dont know this body. I’ve been with my husband for 11 yrs since we were 20 and 21 and he can’t keep his hands off of me. I dont get it. I’m just trying to love myself as best I can and make changes as I go but it’s hard. And men do not understand that. Its not just the weight its how we gain or lose it and hormones! Ugh dont get me started on that haha but mama he loves you and your body. That body brought your kids into this world and you’re amazing. Its easier to give this advice to a stranger than it is ourselves. Just try (i am too!) To love yourself! Best of luck :heart:

Oh my yes. But I kept reminding myself that this man loves me. That I gave him three kids and he’s aware that a women’s body sometimes doesn’t go back to pre baby shape after kids. He also was always sure to tell me he thought I was beautiful. Your husband loves you too. He probably loves your body just as much now as he did then. Be confident in your body, my husband always tells me that confidence is sexy.

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It was definitely hard for me to get use to the way my body changed after my third child. You are not alone. My third child is three now and I am finally at a point where I am okay with how I look. It does take time to feel good about the extra weight and stretch marks but try to look at them as a badge of being a badass mama that gave life you’ll start to see the stretch marks and body changes in a different way.

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Your body has changed. Your husband clearly wants to love on you and sees all your beauty. It’s hard to love ourselves after children because society tells us we shouldn’t. The truth is you are amazing for bringing three children into the world. You have the perfect body because it’s doing it’s job of keeping you alive.

I really recommend a therapist. They can help you unlearn some toxic thought patterns and help you love you for you.

Your body is perfect the way it is! U grew and gave birth to tiny humans, thats amazing itself❤ if he loves ur body then let him enjoy it…a husband should love his wife no matter how her body has changed also.

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I have been with my husband for 12 years, I went through the same thing. I also have one of those husbands that has told me every day for 12 years I’m beautiful. I truthfully started making my self flash him and and keeping the lights on during adult time. Took a few months but now it’s nothing.

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I hide my body and I’ve only 1 child and am 21…but everyone else my age seems to have bounced back after they had 2 children even and I didn’t…and I’m not overweight. It’s hard to be that vulnerable around the person you love when you feel like they’d find better…not saying you stated that, but that’s my reason. Honestly, if he leaves though, it wasn’t to be then. I don’t really have any advice, really…I’ll read the comments. :two_hearts:

I have to remind myself that all those marks, sags, lumps and bumps are the result of bringing two amazing humans into this world. Be proud of it all……you worked hard for them. You still are. Growing and raising people is the hardest job there is!! You are amazing and beautiful even if you don’t believe it. I hope you can find a way to love yourself. Hugs to you!!

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I don’t feel this way… and I’m old! :joy::joy:
The extra lbs and “marks” are a testament to the life we have lived. For the memories we have made and the family we have created. He’s earned my trust everyday of our lives. I am ashamed of nothing. He gets the very bare, raw parts of me (internal and external) that he has earned. I accept his judgement of me as the absolute truth… and he says I’m perfect.

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accept that your body has changed, we all change over the years and children makes your body change even more. Love yourself, being comfortable around your husband will come when you accept the changes and you are comfortable with yourself.

I’m obese and I have my moments where I’m self conscious around the public, but at home I know everyone loves me for who I am…extra fluff and all. I don’t hide from my husband’s eyes, I flaunt myself in front of him. He loves every imperfect part of me and so do I.

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Sweetie welcome to motherhood your body changed with each kid. I have 5 kids married 27 yr . My boobs hang low my belly a road map my ass is gone. And I look like crap. However my husband love every Inch of me . Where I can’t .But together u both can explore yr new flawlessness motherhood body God gave u . Now yr perfect sweetie oh and grandma and papaw need to take yr kids for the weekend. And lock yr door and make yr safe place to let yr goodies hang out hubby to .get fixed before u try this a baby can happen this.

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Married 17 years yesterday, however the last 5 have been a nightmare, oldest son 23 left for the Army, had my thyroid removed, previous hysterectomy 10 years ago, but when the thyroid came out BAM!! 40LBS OVERNIGHT. My 3 month check I topped 180, mind you I was no bigger than 150 at 9 months pregnant with baby #2, also I have always been very tiny like 100-112lbs pre-babies, I cannot loose weight, the lowest I have been is 160 and now back up to 175, I am 5’3". I am so miserable and my hubby well let’s just say, he isn’t happy either. There is a weight-loss shot called Sandexa and everyone I know we has been on it has had Amazing results, but years ago I had a CT scan of abdomen and it showed previous signs of pancreatitis so I cannot take it. I wish u luck and if u figure something out please post, in the meantime Hugs from Michigan

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I would gently explain to him that it isn’t about him. It’s about your thought patterns and your feelings ab yourself

I feel like you should talk to someone who has more insight like a therapist, a close friend of mine had a hormone issue after children. She had a lot of self hate for her body. Maybe talking to someone or talking to a doctor would help. Sometimes our biggest critic is ourselves.

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Yes, after having my third kid i became extremely self conscious about my body and our sex life suffered for a while, but i have a wonderful man who makes all my worries melt away. Its normal.

I feel like you do… It’s hard for me to be not covered.

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Nope. I’m 44, I’ve hated my body my entire life and at this point it is what it is and I don’t care who don’t like it!

If ur husband still loves how u look then shouldn’t matter I understand showing it to others and being ashamed Im not happy with mine as I have 3 kids and have lots of excess around my tummy and lots of stretch marks too but he loves my body thats all that matters

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Im sure his body has changed to. When people grow older together they dont really see a difference the years have made. Love your self

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You should feel most comfortable around him. I absolutely hate my body (also a 3 kidder) but my husband makes me feel safe and sexy even if I hate my body he makes me feel this way. I would suggest some therapy to see how you can get over these feelings of insecurities especially around him.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am not comfortable with my body around my husband: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

It’s just you. I don’t like my body sometimes, but my husband does. To me that is all that matters. If your husband isn’t complaining about the changes in your body, than why should you? Be comfortable in your own skin, love yourself.

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I’m middle age, birthed 5 kids… that includes a couple c sections. I’m “plus size” 5’10 and over 200 pounds. Really not a fan of how my body looks but I swear my husband could EAT ME ALIVE. Please, if all else is pretty good in the marriage work on letting loose for him. You’ll feel better in the long run if you’re at ease more.

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Having kids really does a number on us mom’s but let’s try to look at it differently. So you gained weight? Everyone gains weight and some more than others. Your husband still loves you. Your boobs got bigger? Well, that happens cause of breast milk and if you breastfeed your children, so they stretched out a little. To your husband it’s a bonus and he still loves you. So you have stretch marks? Girl, I have so many stretch marks from my three, that I’m insecure about them. My ex husband hated them. Now my current boyfriend noticed that I was insecure about them and I’m gonna tell you what he said. He said “Baby, you’re an amazing woman who gave birth to 3 wonderful children. I don’t see those as stretch marks, those are your tiger stripes and you’ve earned every one of them.” I now think of them as tiger stripes and I’m now not really insecure about them anymore. I’m sure your husband still loves you marks and all.

I was with my husband for 25 years and until his death. I was very much this way. I have extremely large breast and am very embarrassed by them and wouldn’t even allow him to touch them mostless see them. When we were intimate I wouldn’t EVER take off my shirt or nightgown because I didn’t want him looking at them. He hated it . Absolutely hated it but he knew how I felt and we just dealt with it. I still hate my breast and luckily next week they are coming off so I really hope my confidence amps up. Good luck and you and your SO just need to sit down and have a coming to Jesus talk and compromise in some way

My hubs has watched my body go from hot teen, hot woman, and hot mom of 3… he’s seen my body change… and I never once had to feel insecure.

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Just because you’re uncomfortable doesn’t mean you don’t love him… what a d#ck

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I went from a size 3 to a size 14

I have stretched marks and a messed up belly button.

I dont care, I grew five babies in my belly! I walk around in yoga pants and a sports bra all the time :woman_shrugging: and wore a bikini on vacation.

Your exterior doea not define your beauty :call_me_hand:t2:

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I completely understand where you’re coming from. I went through some things from 2016 to 18 and gained almost 100 pounds. From 18 to almost 20 I lost the majority of that weight. Im used to being a B maybe heading towards a C cup until I gained all the weight and then I was a DD. Now I’m a 38D And extremely unhappy with the upper portion of my body. I’m very self-conscious about my boobs drooping because like I said I’ve never been more than maybe a c cup. My husband of course could care less and when I told him I wanted to get a lift he just doesn’t understand why because in his words, he’s not bothered by it. It doesn’t matter if he’s bothered by it, I am. And I believe this is the situation you are in. I don’t really have any words because I feel like I’m going through the same thing. All I can say is do you want makes you feel best as long as it’s not hurting anyone else in the process.

I’ve been exactly the same since my 2nd but on the opposite end of the scale I’ve lost so much weight my boobs are nearly non existent but ge swears he loves me for who I am and knows my body has changed so I could give him his children I hate myself and hate showing myself to him but he begs me to feel comfortable all we can do is try to let go a little xx

I’ve been with my man and father of my three children since we were 14. He has seen my body change in every stage. I struggled with my body issues my whole life but recently I finally realized this man completely loves me for who I am and my body, I was able to let go and just love myself too. He tells me he loves my body more now than he did before kids. I will say this though it was always a issue I had to figure out, it was never about him. Even if your husband loves every inch of you. YOU still have to love you and your body, figure out what would help you girl. Therapy has helped me alot and helped me find the reasons why I was truly not liking my body.

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Your love for him is about him. Your love or lack thereof for your body is about you. Feeling comfortable with your body is about you judging yourself bc you see beauty how you see it. You think I’m order to have a beautiful body then you have to be a certain weight, look a certain way, wear a certain size, but that’s just not true. In my experience people who obsess over there outside appearance usually have something deep inside they need to work on. Start by loving yourself, your whole self and then you will see how beautiful you are!

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You don’t have to be if he loves you

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Your body made three beautiful children, those “marks” are your tiger stripes that you earned! Your husband loves you no matter how you look. You’re beautiful!

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I was and I lost my other half because I let that insecurity control me. He still loves your body. Try to look at yourself through his eyes. It’s hard, but when you start to see what he sees. Your eyes will be open. :frowning:

I could see you feeling off for a little bit since you’ve changed and you don’t feel yourself but tell your husband just that and work together to fix what’s bugging you don’t hide it from him after seventeen years girl that boy has been All in and is staying all in

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When you don’t love yourself or uncomfortable you can project those feelings into how you treat others.

It can get really hard watching someone go through that.

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Its not always easy to love ourselves. You could be suffering from depression as well. Reach out to your pcp or even a counselor. Remember if you are not happy with your body you can do things to change most of it. You have to get mentally there and then it will all click. You got this mama💪

We tend to focus on things - our imperfections- not the “whole picture “. While you are focusing on superficial (how others view bodily faults- if they even notice…)- he is focused on your internal beauty and whole body. Try an experiment— once you retire for the night- get naked… sleep naked… don’t talk about body imperfections with him… just be- get comfortable with yourself.

It’s been like ten years and I’ve never been comfortable with my body. So there’s that.

Been with my hubby for 7 years 2 kids my body went to shit after my 2nd and I have had many health issue. I completely get where you are coming from. My hubby and I have this talk regularly like why I won’t get completely naked during sex and why the light must be off. He tells me I’m still sexy to him and that my body is proof of the children I have given him. It’s still hard but talking it out and him saying these things to me does help. I hope you can get through this hun

Been with my bf for 7 years in the beginning I weighed less and would wear cute things and be fully naked during ya know… now that I put on some weight I wear to shirt during that time he always had something to say but I’m sorry I don’t like my foopa floping around during a good time

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A real man will love you no matter how your body changes. You have a problem with yourself, your husband doesn’t but you can lose weight, eat right and exercise, it will make you feel better about yourself. Lots of people are insecure about their bodies. I am one. My husband tells me I am beautiful when I think I look awful. I like him saying it anyway.

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I’ve gain some weight in the past couple of years 135 to 170 and I love myself. I know that I can lose the weight, but I love eating more than I care what my husband of 25 years thinks! :woman_shrugging:t3::wine_glass: I’m beautiful & fat,but I’m GORGEOUS!

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16 years with my husband and 3 kids as well. You are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you and it doesn’t mean you love him any less. I try to cover up even my hubby comes in the bathroom while I’m changing lol and he always laughs and says, “Really? I’ve been with you for 16 years and we have 3 kids. Ive seen you naked a million times.” He thinks nothing of it but it’s still an issue for me.

I wish he hadn’t answered you with “how could you love me if your not comfortable with me.” That’s a real mind fuck right there. It’s turning it around and making you feel worse. Maybe consider a sex therapist? I know. Sounds extreme. I’m willing to bet if you did it together you’d have better sexual communication and start to feel more comfortable in your skin.

I met my husband when we were 18. I was a commercial model, a competing beauty queen, and I had zero insecurities about my body. We married at 22. 6 months later, we learned I had a tumor on my brainstem. I ended up having surgery that took the hearing in my right ear and left me with a Frankenstein scar around my ear and my face temporarily paralyzed on one side. He still thought I was beautiful. Then I had to have surgery on one of my hips. I couldn’t walk at all for 6 weeks, and it was another 6 months before I could walk without crutches. I gained a ton of weight from inactivity. He still thought I was beautiful. Then I got pregnant. My C cups went to D cups. Then the next pregnancy took them to DD’s. Now we’re on pregnancy #3, and even my DD’S don’t fit anymore. I have stretch marks everywhere. He still thinks I’m beautiful, despite the fact that I am far from the model he met. The thing is, his body has changed too. He isn’t the string bean I married, either. I still think he’s handsome. We’ve changed together. We’ve built a beautiful family. My body created life from scratch three times. I’m darn proud of the life we’ve made, and of my kids, and of myself. The way you view you has nothing to do with your husband. You have a standard of beauty in your head that you no longer meet. You never would have met that standard forever though. Age hits us all. Therapy might be a good idea. You need to learn to love yourself, and to appreciate your flaws for what they are. We all have them. :heart:

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My husband and I just did a “sexy” photo shoot together and it boosted my confidence. I tried to nit pick the pictures, but between the genuine look of desire and love in his eyes I could tell that he wasn’t lying when he told me he thought I was sexy af. I learnt along the way he also has insecurities, and that made me feel as I haven’t done my job as a wife lifting him up…so imagine what he feels. We are now doing a men’s and women’s photoshoot events, and I plan on doing a boudoir shoot for him as well.

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He loves you. That means your BODY too. Let your guard down and love yourself! You don’t even know how happy you could be… set yourself free!!!

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He still tells me I’m beautiful after 10 years and 6 kids later we have 4 together but even though I’m not happy with my body sometimes I went from 146 to now over 200 pounds my husband works out I don’t lol but he’s okay with it so I found other ways to feel good about myself recently changed up my hair maybe try something different

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He loves you! Every part! You have to love yourself first before your able to love anyone else. I learned this the HARD way! But that’s what marriage is bout loving someone unconditionally no matter the circumstances. The good, the bad, an everything else the goes with it. Self love for moms an ourselves need to be made more of a priority. Everyone has insecurities. It’s all bout how you approach it an handled it. I’ve had four kids. You got this! :heart: It doesn’t happen overnight, but the work you put in towards your self love the more you’ll realize that it’s okay to look the way you do. You’ve gave 3 humans life.

Yeah I do and it sucks, my husband understands though and says it doesn’t matter to him and that I look the same to him as I always have. I wish I had a solution :disappointed:

Honestly what helped me is just taking care of my body. I’m still fat, it didn’t go anywhere, but now I’m fat with a capable body and I admire that my body can both not digest food correctly and run 12 miles a day and knock someone’s lights out if the situation arises (I’m a fan of boxing). The body is capable of so much more than looking perfect, she got us through having kids, multiple kids. She’s a brute.

Therapy also helps.

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I was in an abusive (mentally, verbally and physically) relationship before I met my husband. I was almost 300lbs, after 4 kids. Stretch marks everywhere. I dropped to 155lbs. This is when I met my husband. I had stretch marks and saggy skin. My boobs looked like two deflated water balloons. I was so insecure. He took that away. Since we have been married, I’ve gained some weight back. Everything is still saggy and loose and covered in stretch marks. I’d never wear shorts, now I let my thighs giggle in shorts. My husband took my insecurities away. He shows me daily that he loves me. Constant kisses. Constant touching. Sounds to me like your husband is in love with you, but you’re not. The FIRST thing you need to remind yourself is that pregnancy changes everything about our bodies. But those changes to your body, came with you giving him three beautiful children. If you’re unhappy with your body, do something about it, for yourself. In my opinion, if your husband not only tells you that you’re beautiful, but he shows you that you’re beautiful… he means it.

I hope you learn to love yourself. Everyone’s body changes. He loves you and wants you the way you are. Not every woman has that. Embrace it. Hes probably feeling a bit insulted.

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I’ve ALWAYS been insecure with my body!

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Exercise, diet, get your confidence back

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I’ve been with my husband almost 30 years. Met him when I was just 19 so he’s seen my body change as I have had 3 kids and a hysterectomy and gone thru menopause. I’m 48 now but I’ve also seen his body change too. I do get uncomfortable at times yes but then I remember I love him and he loves me. At the end of the day that’s all that matters.

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I can relate to your post. After 2 csections, an abdominal hysterectomy all before turning 27 and lastly, a cholecystectomy just 3 months ago, I try to hide my body as well because I don’t like all the scars. We just had a discussion this week because my SO has been noticing that I’m still trying to hide my full body from him. He said he loves me for me and what attracts him to me is my imperfections rather than perfections. He said it proves how strong I am and shows what all my body has been through to get me to where I am at today and he loves me exactly the way I am. He is so amazing

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Yes. And my bf gets offended too. :roll_eyes:

I know this feeling… I was young and sexy when I met the love of my life in 1993! I feel old, fat, and hair is gray now. I used to tell him, it’s time to trade me in for a younger model (like a car, not an actual model)…to which he always said, noone would love me the way you do and you’ll always be sexy to me.

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I felt the same way about my stretch marks with my husband, we have been married 14 years and over time he has really helped me to be confident and to love my body the way that he does. He told me that the part of my body that I hate the most is the part that he loves the most, go figure, but it still is not easy for us to see ourselves the way our spouses see us just let him love you and all of your perfect imperfections:)

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Get therapy. You shouldn’t have to feel like this. It has nothing to do with him or your trust for him. This is inside you and the only way to make it better is to face it and deal with it. You deserve better. Go get it.

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It’s. Not u he says you. Are. Fine no. Matter. What let. Loose. C what. Happens

Oh, sweetheart. Age happens to everybody. Either accept it or try to exercise like a crazy person. Acceptance is healthier!!!

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Go get yourself a boudoir session and allow it to show you that you are beautiful

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I am not entirely confident with my body round my husband especially sex but I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter what size I am to him he loves me for me

I guess I would go to counseling why the outside of you is more important that the person inside you. That’s the real yiu You are loved.

Oh wow I had to see if I wrote this. Yes I feel the exact same way. Except I’m pregnant with my 3rd and my uncomfortableness happened after my first baby. I work out and keep a decent diet and I’ll tell you it hasn’t helped. My breasts never went back to small and cute… big and Im there with you I hate big breasts shirts don’t fit right and it doesn’t matter how much weight I lose. You have my sympathy and I hope you can find a way to get that confidence back because no one deserves to feel this awful

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Been there. I started changing my diet. Dropped bread and processed foods. Lost 30 lbs. I feel so much better.

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Yes I’m severly insecure, but my man has built me up so much and made me more confident. I dress better now, actually brush my hair and do my make up to make myself feel better. It’s also getting to the point where I can look at myself without make up and tell myself about my great qualities. It’s a process but remember if your partner isn’t helping you florish and helping through these Insecurities then you need to talk to them because that isn’t okay

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It’s only going to hurt your connection with your husband until you learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. I’ve been through it.

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Okay he’s got to realize just because you feel insecure in your body doesn’t mean you don’t love him that guilt trip shit doesn’t help at all and he really needs to cut that shit out :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:. I’m sure you love him with all of your heart. You gave him 3 beautiful children and 17 years of your life. It takes time to get use to the body you have after having kids because our bodies are never the same after that. I have 4 beautiful babies and I’m having to learn to love my body all over again. Your partner should have empathy and understanding especially when your at a low in your life. My husband has been lifting me up through all of our journey together and that alone has helped me so much. But I also took it upon myself to find things to lift my confidence as well. I found a diet and work out routine that works for me and I love the waist trainers that help you sweat (they are magic workers I swear) I never thought I would get my curves back but I did though it definitely took a lot of work. Do things for yourself that help you feel beautiful :purple_heart::black_heart:. The more you do that and start talking to yourself with love you’ll learn to love the new you as you should :black_heart::purple_heart::black_heart:.

Therapy! It sucks to not love yourself! Also you buy shirts based on your bust measurements and it will get better guys! Shop at store meant for a curvy girl! And make sure you’re wearing a well fitted good bra it can make difference in any pain you feel, how clothes fit, moods…

Don’t give up you are just as party to day as you was just be your self don’t worry if god want you to look like every one else you wood but you are you a good lady

Oh for heaven sakes get naked with him he’s not expecting perfection he just wants love and affection quit being a wuss I’m 65 don’t bother me to walk naked in front of my husband

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Save up ur money and get a mommy make over :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I have bad stretch marks. Hated them, one day I looked at them and realized that these marks represent the greatest gifts of my life, my 3 children. Now when I see them i realized how blessed I am. I think of all the women I know of and those I don’t know who would give anything to have these marks because they were unable to have children. Sometimes we do not realize how blessed we are💙

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Count your blessings…and there won’t be any room left for negative thoughts!!

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Talk to a counselor. And remember your husband clearly loves you. The more you push him away, the more of a wedge it will drive between the two of you.

Stand in front of a mirror naked everyday and compliment yourself on 3 things. It helps with body image.

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I completely understand!!! I have 5 biological boys and when I met my fiancè 3.5 years ago, I wasn’t as heavy. I was almost 300lbs at my heaviest before I met him and lost 90lbs. Since I’ve been with him, my medical issues, especially Thyroid, PCOS, and sudden Diabetes, made me gain back 50lbs of that. I hate my fat face, the weight I feel when I walk, I feel like I can’t be on top of him when we’re intimate because I’ll crush/hurt him. I don’t want him to see me naked because I think it’s disgusting. I am so disappointed in myself and hate my body for doing this to me. Even with meds, diet, and exercise… I can’t lose the weight. My fiancè is absolutely amazing and tries to reassure me, but he keeps losing weight and it’s like a slap in the face. After having an ex-husband cheat on me and leave me before I lost all that weight… I just can’t be comfortable with myself. I want to believe him. I love him with all my heart and it doesn’t have anything to do with being comfortable with him. It’s me. It’s my body failing me. Depression and anxiety about it really sucks and I just wanna cry.

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I do intermittent fasting and working out. Not only does exercise burn fat and calories, it brings on a wave of feel good emotions (endorphins). I had problems with normal workouts but I do dance ones to burn as much calories as possible and it’s really worked. The first step is learning to love yourself and he should reassure that for you. Next step is getting healthy, or “fit” but you don’t want to while you’re sad and depressed or it becomes obsessive. Just start small. Buy some post it’s and write something that you do love about yourself and put it on the mirror. Don’t stop. Even on the worst days, write it somewhere you can see. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. If you can afford any cool sculpting and procedures you could always go that route… however it doesn’t always help the problem at hand.

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Those imperfections are from bringing beautiful amazing kids into this world you are perfect the way you are love and your husband love s you baby steps you’ll become more comfortable

My bf loves my stretch marks ( they are all over my belly) and my droopy tits. And so I do love my body too. I have a beautiful healthy child and that’s what’s important the most. Remember, when we die, our body will disintegrate and rot, are you going to be worried your whole life about how your body looks? Instead of love and embrace every part of you and make happy memories with it?? Remember, if you don’t love yourself and you don’t find yourself attractive, how in the hell are you going to expect someone else to do it?? We are all beautiful, there are people out there who can’t walk, how are missing a part of their bodies, be grateful and love yourself!

I have 3 kids and guess what I weigh 194 or 197 pounds highest I have ever been.but I made a choice to endure it instead of mopping around and being mad for looking fat as our kids look up to us. And I don’t want my girls to worry about weight how they look and everything else

I have tons of insecurities but I know my husband loves me for all of me. I dont feel uncomfortable being naked around him.

I’m to confident with my rolls and marks to know what insecure means

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Can relate 1000%. With all of the judgement women endure and the pressure to look like ig models and fitness reps, it’s just mentally excruciating when you don’t look that way.

I chose to continue to work on my body to make it better. I will at some point get cosmetic surgery. But it’s really disheartening to always feel that no matter what my man says to the contrary, i won’t ever be “good enough”, physically. I’ll never be as pretty as some women. Never as fit. Never as lean. My proportions won’t be like theirs. I’ll always have these scars and stretch marks no matter how many tattoos I use to cover them. Or makeup. Or clothes. They will always be there.

Ultimately, the only comfort I find is knowing that my worth and value are found in Jesus Christ, not how the world views me. Not my weight, scars or lack of muscle.

Hoping and praying the very best for you Sis.:black_heart:

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Learn to love yourself and every part of it. Otherwise your self worth dictates alot of your life and you’ll be miserable. Learn to love yourself girl, or try some therapy to work through these things. Best of luck

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So why did you have kids are you dumb that you didn’t think having kids was going to change your body. Get a life. Don’t you think that your body is going to get old a wrinkle. Dumb ass😂

I was never comfortable in my own skin, with my first husband.
I will say this…I am a sexual abuse survivor, and he knew my abusers, and basically claimed I lied about it. The funny thing is…now, one of my abusers, has allowed alcohol to effect him so much, that he doesn’t see anything wrong with telling people what he did! People usually think he is just running his mouth…but it’s the truth. It’s a family member, and my ex still sees him, even though it’s my family, and we are divorced.

My current husband, tells me all the time, how much he loves me, how beautiful I am, etc.

Let’s be completely real…
We go through childbirth…our bodies change as we age, and that’s men, and women.
I’m at an age, that I don’t want to have to always be “lady like”, especially if I’m in the privacy of my own home. My stomach doesn’t work…which causes much problems, literally from explosive diarrhea, to gas, stomach bloating so much I look pregnant, to severe constipation…
If I can’t go through these things with my husband…I’d rather just be alone. I’ve had three kids…nothing is where it was when I was 18…
I’ve had a hysterectomy, and went from being the dog of our family to absolutely no sex drive at all.
Through all of this, every day, I always get a good morning beautiful message, hope you have a great day…
If I don’t get some sort of message like that, I know one of two things…my husband, who has parkinsons, is either sick, or they are having one shit of a day, from the get go, at work.
If your husband is telling you he believes you are beautiful, then believe him. It is the best gift you can ever give yourself, and your children. I was never told that by my first husband…my self esteem, was so low, when I met my now husband.
He built me up! Have the time I walk around naked, which he always thanks me for!:roll_eyes::rofl:
Honestly…coming from a person who was at one point going to commit suicide…please believe your husband…a man who doesn’t believe his wife is beautiful, just doesn’t say anything…a man who loves his wife, finds her beautiful, no matter what flaws she may have, will always tell her how beautiful she is, and it sounds as if, your husband finds you totally beautiful!!

I have a lot of stretch marks and saggy boobies but i grew, birthed and fed 2 children from my body. I dont like it but its a reminder that my body has done amazing things. Im 100% comfortable with my body, especially around my fiance. Weve been together going on 11 years and i have no insecurities about my body with him.

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For men they find you more attractive having those marks, those extra pounds. You will need to sit back and realize what he sees the beauty.

You gave him the gift of having his children and he sees the beauty part of it.

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I say this lovingly, you need therapy. It is your responsibility to get the personal help you need for your relationship to flourish.
Therapy will help you not place value on what you look like, but instead to love and value yourself for who you are. Our physical bodies will continue to change, our self Iove should only continue to grow. You are worthy, desirable and valuable beyond what you look like. Always have been, and always will be.

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Funny I was super insecure with my childrens father, but am remarried and have no issues being naked in front of my husband :woman_shrugging:t2: he makes me feel far more secure.

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He loves you just the way you are regardless… and even tho your being rough on yourself don’t let it put a wedge between the two of you … he understands what your body went through to carry his babies … start by either diet or exercise for self improvements… but don’t let it cause problems with your relationship other wise you might end up driving him away

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Why are people laugh reacting at this? I mean did you just wake up and think I guess I’ll be a dick today :woman_shrugging:

Please- love who you are on the inside! I’m sure your husband loves you no matter what. I’m 65 and just started doing Zumba- I put on some weight & started to feel down & depressed… I’m feeling much better about myself since getting out 2x a week by myself. Seeing other women much larger than me & their happiness with themselves, my opinion of myself is much better. Talk to your husband how you feel, I’m sure he’ll understand. I’ll pray for
You. Have faith & love for yourself. Hugs

I am insecure but my my husband loves my body, when i was thinner… and now that I’m heavier. He always tells me I’m beautiful and perfect, even when i think I’m not. He’s the real mvp :heart: