My daughter is 14 months old . And after being with her dad for 6 years , I’m just not in love anymore . I knew this prior to even getting pregnant and the pregnancy /first year pretty much distracted me well untill now, I don’t know what to do, or how to tell him. He moved away from all his family to be with me and now I just simply don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with him anymore . I’m terrified of what will come of our situation and how we will share time with my daughter … anyone ever split up and have the other parent live across the state ? How does this go
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Well, in this type of situation I feel that if you’re truly not happy and in love anymore, you should be woman enough to tell him. You deserve to be happy and he deserves the right to know so that he can be happy in the future. Co-parenting is a must, and that will begin with a friendship first. You’ll have to take it back to basics, and start your friendship over so that you can both be healthy parts of your child’s life.
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Why did you even get pregnant to begin with if you knew you didn’t love him or wanted to be with him?? You strung him along, had a child with him, so who knows how this will play out. Hopefully it all works out for the sake of the child you brought into this mess!!
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are you just ‘not in love’ or are you completely unhappy and miserable. there’s a difference. things change and people change especially after having children. if you split, it won’t be up to just you how you split the time with your daughter. it has to be a mutual agreement. if it can’t be, a judge will decide for you. won’t be easy, but if he moved for you… i wouldn’t be surprised if you have to do the majority of the travel if he goes back. again that completely depends on the state and the judge and the situation.
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Probably already been asked but I’m gonna ask it again anyway … Why would you get pregnant if you knew you didn’t want to be with him?! I feel you are selfish! You should have just walked away before you got pregnant. Instead you used him and continue to play with his emotions like they mean nothing to you. Smdh
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So not pregnant, know you are no longer interested. Get pregnant. Dumbass
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Try the love dare first. Its only 40 days. What’s 40 days in the big aspect of things? Not much really.
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I think you need to ask yourself on why your not in love and why your unhappy. If it’s things that can be changed or fix… Then communicate with him to fix it. If your just flat out bored and found someone else then your in the wrong. People do get bored but that’s why people get out and try something new. Ask yourself why you feel the way you feel and once you figure that out, you can see if it’s fixable and let him know where you stand. If it’s purely for selfish reasons then he needs to leave you!
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I think you need therapy because the choices you made are extremely toxic.
I feel bad for this man who has a child with you.
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WOW. You’re honestly a selfish bitch. You knew this before getting pregnant yet you did it anyway?! You are knowingly putting an innocent child into that mess?! In all honesty he deserves full custody.
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Children suffer because of wishy washy parents… I would suggest counseling so both of you have help with this transition.
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In love is a fleeting feeling. Its love that lasts. Maybe its some ppd but you can at least try first. Sometimes i think my n my hubs arent going to make it but then he does something and i think “man i love that assface!”
Possibly all being a little harsh. Going to play devils advocate here…did you think getting pregnant would make things better?? What are the reasons you aren’t in love? Just don’t have feelings or does he do things that now make you unhappy…such as belittle you? Take a long look because all decisions have consequences be totally sure the feelings are gone. Make sure you just aren’t bored…if you are bored you may never be happy
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So you be the big girl you were when you slept with him and got pregnant with his baby and tell him exactly what you wrote here
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I truly believe getting pregnant was so wrong many do this to reconnect but honestly the advise is very cruel she needs to tell him so he too can move on and be with someone that loves wants him both can show their child love
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Her reasons for getting pregnant are her own. Let’s not judge a sister. Instead. Let’s help her get through what’s going on NOW. she has had the baby. It’s a fact now. And I am sure the baby is well loved. Let’s move on.
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Im not going to be rude like people above… Sh*t happens, i get it… Maybe you should talk to him about moving along… Or getting his own place close so he can still see the child… Or spark things back up in the bed, go out, come up with creative things to spice the relationship back up…
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Give him the child and go fix yourself.
Be alone for a while.
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Why the hell would you have a child with someone you knew you wouldn’t want to spend the years needed to raise one? That was stupid.
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Wow. You’re so unbelievably selfish.
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The decisions you have made to this point were incredibly selfish. You made someone that could have been simply an ex boyfriend into someone you made another person with. Now you have them both until basically the day you die. They have feelings you need to consider ! You can recover, but it will be tough. Step one is be honest . Step two is get your life together independent of him ( financial and living arrangements etc). Step three focus on being a mom and co parenting . Good luck and remember to think about the future and not just how you feel in the moment
You very well could be suffering from post partum depression. It can last a long long time if not treated. Before you make any decisions- please go see a Doctor. With proper treatment you may start feeling differently about the baby daddy.
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Just be honest. Honesty is always the best policy!!! He is not glued to your current location and he could move home if he wanted to. Dont wait to tell him because you already wasted enough time. Have a sit down with him and have an adult convo also expect some hurt confused feelings from his side.
You knew before you got pregnant you didn’t love him but got pregnant anyway oh and by the way it’s his daughter also
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You knew before you got pregnant. That’s just horrible to get pregnant knowing that.
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Everyone falls in and out of love during a relationship…my parents were married for 60 years my mom always said he’s a grumpy bastard…but they made it last …why bring a child into this world and into a broken relationship because that’s how you want it to be …unfair on baby and daddy…talk to him but don’t use him maybe you and him need to rediscover yourselves together have time for you together…think of how it was a try and get that back maybe …or don’t try and stop wasting his time and yours
That passion etc wears off in time for sure but that’s no reason to just completely chuck everything in, you need to make an effort to reconnect before burning all your bridges.
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…and you had a baby…why??
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I hope he gets the baby cuz honey you already aren’t a good parent. Every relationship has its ups and down and you being the lil bitch ass that you are gave up god help that baby if you gave up on her daddy that easily. You will give up on the child also. Oh and I bet you want child support. Which is crap because you trapped him
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How many of you are with the father of your child/children? How many got pregnant by “accident” probably when you weren’t even that serious in the relationship yet. Answer that then shut up or give her some advice.
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WOW some of these comments. First of all was the pregnancy planned or an accident? Second, you should have had a talk with him way back when your feelings began to change. But what’s done is done but it’s not right to keep him from his child just because you’re no longer in love with him. Adult up sit down and discuss what’s best for your child. Both parents deserve to be a part of the child’s life.
Work it out IN the relationship. Do you really think that couples together for 6 years or more have a romantic relationship like in the early years??? It is no longer about you kiddo. Grow up.
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There’s no reason to bash you about getting pregnant. That’s done. The child is here. What I need to convey is being in love is not this overwhelming wave of emotions that come over you like when you first start dating someone. You’ve been together for quite a while now. Being in love now is a decision to be intentional in your relationship. You really have to search within yourself to make sure you’re ready to walk away from a man who you’ve been with. Is he good to you and your child? Does he work hard to provide and care for your family? Is he uplifting, encouraging, and supportive? Does he have dreams and goals for the future for all of you? If the answer is yes to all of those, I would think long and damn hard before throwing away a good man because you just don’t know how to get back to a different state of mind where he’s concerned. The next thing we know, you’ll be back on here in a few months asking advice about how to deal with jealousy over all the love, time, and affection a new woman is getting from him. 
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You’re going to be okay. Be honest and civil. As long as you’re honest …now and moving forward. You will good alright. Things always work out okay. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.
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Ma’am, you’re in quite a pickle, I see alot are saying you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant if you didn’t love him, which I do agree, however the baby is here, and you want to go your separate ways
There is no painless way to do it, but be honest, do it at home, have the baby with a friend so y’all can talk without the baby getting upset, good luck, pray about it.
Maybe it’s your hormones or post partum blues check with your dr
… to those of you that’s judging… did you ever think of unplanned pregnancy?.. certainly one would NOT PLAN to get pregnant if no romantic relationship is desired… hopefully 
Honesty is the best policy, always. Prepare yourself to exit peacefully.
The parenting thing is hard no matter if y’all together or not. U said u weren’t in love with him before u found out u were pregnant. My opinion is be honest. Tell him everything. Tell him u r not in love with him and u haven’t been. No relationship can live when there r lies and him thinking u r in love with him is a lie no matter how u sugar coat it. That doesn’t mean u cant both b a part of the child’s life and stuff but u gotta b honest with him
Some of you are judgemental nasty women! She came here for advise not to be bashed!
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You don’t have to be in love with someone to have a satisfying relationship.
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U clearly know u have made a pretty bad decision. It’s done. Yet u shld have discussed ur feelings prior to, I know it’s not as easy as it sounds but now u have a whole lot more to worry about. Buckle up bc this is going to b a long and painful journey. Yes, it depends on the state laws, parents employment, custody, child care, etc. Wherever the child is born is considered their state of residents, BUT bc she is small if the dad has joint custody (which he is very likely to get) he will b able to take his child to his state of residence. How long depends on many factors. Hopefully he is either willing to stay where u both r or u can relocate. This is not easy. Talk about it. If he considers going back to his state, prepare urself. Nothing is impossible, but it’ll take time, sacrifice and much effort.
Did someone happens to come along recently ?
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Falling in love happens. Choosing to love is a commitment. You will not always have the “in love” feeling. That will come and go with all relationships at some point. Keeping communications open is key.
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This happens alot about this time in a relationship…
Do you two do anything together??
Do you do things as a family???
Before you throw away this relationship…ask another important question…what if he was with another woman…how would you feel?? Answer honestly… would you feel relieved?? Now you have a way out…or pissed, hurt, jealous??? Want to kill him…make him miserable… because if any of those are a yes or maybe then start to work on it…a marriage is hard work… sometimes you look at his face and want to slap him… doesn’t mean you don’t love him…just means a rough patch…
Or you might get a fantasy over someone else…you just missing the early years of yippie Skippy times…
Relationships change as the years go on…make sure your not just in a rut and looking for excitement…
Good luck
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Oh when that karma bus hits. Poor you
On top of all the other replies - have you considered if he takes custody n has better income n provisions for the baby then meets a caring lady ? How are you gonna feel another person raising your child hmmm !!! I’d do some serious thinking or counseling n get YOUR. Emotional health n mental health in check
Just be honest. Your happiness is more important
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Just tell him how you feel now and talk girl talk to him be honest and tell him he will still be part of the babys life but you just dont love him no more and you need to think how your going to take care if that baby by yourself to because its not about you no more you have another life in your hands that you need to take care of
I’m in the same boat as you my kids live across state and I only see them every other weekend and it’s hard on them and me. But its better then a forced relationship with only contempt for your SO kids will pick up on it so do what you need to but understand it wont be easy
You knew this before you got pregnant and you got pregnant anyway???
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And this is why I don’t ask for advice on here there are many judgemental ass women on here 🤦. Good luck on your relationship hope you can find a way to work things out if not hope you guys can Co parent properly 
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Why are there always people wanting to be so nasty? It’s a simple question. Why judge? Try winding your neck in!
Nowhere in this statement did she say she got pregnant on purpose!! Shit happens when you have sex especially if they both weren’t using protection. Sometimes people think they want to be with someone and then realise nope it’s not working. Both should be happy and move on find love it doesn’t stop them from being PARENTS
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I’d say reconnect, reinvest, have counselling and put lots of energy into rediscovering the love
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Wasted this man time u knew u just wanted the kid should have just kept it real. RELEASE HIM SO HE CAN FIND DAT GREAT WOMAN TO LUV HIM UNCONDITIONALLY AND GIVE HIM WAT U POSSIBLY COULD NOT
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I do not get the no love him yet still ok getting pregnant
It would have made breaking up a lot easier
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It’s not about you and what you want anymore…people like you are disgusting!!! This man probably loves you, is happy with you and because of your desires your going to leave him and split up your family?! Fuck you.
It’s stopped being about you the molment that baby came into the picture you swlfish cunt
First it should b OUR daughter and is there anything that can b worked on before saying it over
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Why would you even get pregnant if you weren’t in love? That’s really fucking sad for your partner and he definatly deserves better than that.
At least tell him how your feeling and negotiate how you would make things work between you. Everyone has different arrangements. I really feel sorry him though, being dragged along in a lie for so long. Hopefully you do the right thing by him.
I was married for 20 plus years and left…didnt speak about 3years now we r great friends & coparent well
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Tell him the truth about how you feel
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Should never have led him on had a child with him or allowed him to move away from his family! why cant people just be honest why do they have to run to Facebook with there problems all the time…?? Sort it 
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I think this is pretty shitty on your part especially since you admit you knew this before your got pregnant.
She’s y’alls daughter not just yours to start with.
Secondly, i hope he didn’t move away from his family while you knew you didnt want to be with him? But neither here nor there. Stop wasting his time and, let him move on. Whatever you do, its in all 3 of y’alls best interest to have all decisions done with a lawyer and, proper documentation so nothing bad happens later… Good luck
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Tell him… And than shared custody
How are people this stupid and irresponsible? So you brought an innocent child into the world with someone you knew you didn’t love/likely want to be with?
Damn shame. And probably dude is better off without you because clearly you are selfish and careless beyond measure.
You knew before you got pregnant that you didn’t love him and you still went and had a child with him?? That’s HORRIBLE. Your choice is not going to effect his entire life and your child’s entire life. Go to therapy or something. You need to get help.
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Communicate with him how you feel, and leave, how hard is it?
Well. You need to be honest with him. You had a child with this man, and you didn’t even love him. You literally just put your child in the mix of this. And it’s not just your child it’s his too.
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Why dont you love him? Is he a bad dad/boyfriend?..do you love someone else?
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Intentionally brought another human being into the world WITH a person you don’t even love. I am sure that man means everything to his daughter, for you to want to move with her to another state is plain selfish. IMO
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U should have told him before the got pregnant smh
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You’re being selfish and the grass is not greener on the other side and you will regret it not every relationship is built on love what about loyalty and trust you going to leave him and you going to be with somebody and they’re going to do the same thing to you you’re going to love them but they’re not going to love you
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Love is not a feeling, it’s a commitment. It’s sad you didn’t love him before taking on a lifetime commitment with him. I’m not judging you in any way but this will crush your child and him because of the choice of having a child with someone you knew you weren’t in love with.
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Wow everyone is jumping down her throat…
Just… be open hun… its gonna hurt more. Holding everything inside
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I would say tell him how you feel and just be honest… you can’t take the kid out of state unless he says it’s ok it’s classed as kidnapping…he has as many rights as you do for the child until decided by a court or you guys have a parenting time sorted out… if you don’t love him tell him and maybe you guys can work it out unless you think it’s the end…a kid needs both parents in there life
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Extremely selfish. You shouldn’t have brought a child into this world knowing you felt this way so now you’re going to break this guys heart and also tear your child away from their father.
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Well, be honest. Before you do something that will hurt him more. Usually in shared custody across the country, mom will usually get and then dad will get during the summer and long breaks. Split or alternated major holidays and birthdays possibly. And y’all split travel expenses usually. It all depends on what’s decided in court. As a newborn the baby wouldn’t do this yet. Not til older. Sucky situation. I’d try to work on things first but you may be just passed that point in your own head and heart.
Every marriage goes through changes especially when a child comes in to it. You should not give up so easily and get counseling . Think of what made you fall in love to begin with. And feeling the way you do and until you figure it out you might not want to have any more children. Good luck I hope it all works out for your family.
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I am the only one who say that women MADE a choice and now she has to accept that mess what She is created? Should others to suffer insted of your stupid egoism? You was very very egoist, dont ruin his life cuz you are totally fcked up, be adult and accept that what you made.
That yours AND his child, dont take away from him.
Accept what you created…suffer cuz of your own stupidity ffs…
If you like my answer or not 🤷
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love is not a light switch. i don’t understand how you don’t love someone when you did before. you love your children, what happens when you dont love them anymore? true love doesn’t stop. figure out why you loved him before and try.
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First off You clearly didn’t love him in the first place and you screwed up. Second work on whatever issues you got because you brought a child into this mess you created and i know it’s not easy to be in a relationship with a kid but you owe it to the baby to make it work, third you need to sit him down and talk to him about what’s going on and how you are feeling because you could love him you probably just bored and want something that spice things up. That’s natural if nothing else works then you both need to sit down with a lawyer and discuss what’s happening and who needs what days for your child and it’s both of your child not just yours she didn’t ask for any of this you did and she needs both mother and father in her life along he is a good guy
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So having a baby doesn’t make it better. Who knew?
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You obviously loved him at one point! Marriage takes hard work. Maybe you should consider counseling for just yourself and then together with him. Do some things together that you two did years ago. At least try to bring the romance back. Just my opinion.
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Aside from all of the negativity, things happen and a child was brought into the world. I think children or not, every relationship will always take work. . I agree with a previous comment, remember what made you fall in love in the first place… focus on the things you like about him and not the things that you don’t or annoy you. Best of luck, everything happens for a reason 
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It goes just fine. As long as the kid knows and feels love from both mom and dad.
Expect summers gone and every other holiday. And possibly split cost of travel. Good luck. Better to get out, than stuck not being happy with who you’re with.
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So basically you knew you weren’t in love before you got pregnant, then you got pregnant anyway and strung the poor dude along…? Yikes.
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If you think long term relationships burn with a hot fire of passion the entire time you’re mistaken. Try to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. TALK TO HIM. Also, that’s as much his daughter as she is yours. The man sounds committed, to have moved away from his family to be with you, it’s not fair for you to lead him on if you’re determined to get out of the relationship. Talk to him now.
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Have you gone through the steps of trying to repair the relationship? The honeymoon doesn’t last forever but you at least owe your family that Much.
You really should be giving it more than it sounds like you are, especially since you knew you wanted out before deciding to have a kid with this guy.
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Love is a choice. Choose to love your S/O 
counseling?
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you can learn to love but you cant learn to commit
Yeah…I am feeling this same way right now. Except I had TWINS with mine… 
Love is not what you see in the movies. Stay the course and develop yourself in positive ways give the relationship some time. Find some humor in this
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Wow so you didnt love him before you had a baby then you got pregnant. Your basically leading him on and your baby is a year old now you need to grow a pair and tell him every one else is sugar coating shit but lets be honest your holding up some one else prince charming
Should have left him before you got pregnant, now your daughter will have to suffer more than you will.
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How can you fall out of love with someone?I have heard that it happens but how? If you truly are in love with someone that doesnt just go away. You knew you wasnt in love yet you get pregnant…I think you need to be a woman and tell him…dont wait any longer and ruin his life… poor dude…
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You can’t stop loving someone and I can tell you now that if you leave you’re going to end up regretting it eventually. Talk to him. Make a connection. Start a hobby together. Do something fun together. Get out for awhile.
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