I Am Pregnant and My Boyfriend Refuses to Change the Cat Litter: Advice?

Relationships
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QUESTION:

“So I have always been a cat mom. I have three beautiful kitties that I love and just found out I was pregnant with my first child. I told my boyfriend that I could not change the cat litter anymore, and he told me that he also was not going to touch it because they were my cats and not his. What do I do? I know you cannot be around cat litter when you are pregnant, and my boyfriend is incredibly selfish. Do I rehome my cats? I am just worried about my baby.”

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Wear a mask and wash your hands well after you change it. I’ve always scooped my boxes, no one else to do it. I did let me doctor know and she said a mask and good handwashing were fine.”

“I changed kitty litter during all 3 of my pregnancies and never had an issue. Just make sure you wash your hands really good.”

“Wear a double mask or buy a self cleaning litter box to make you come less in contact.”

“I’m sure you have plenty advice but for some facts about cats and pregnancy- your cats should be indoors only during pregnancy, this prevents them from contracting toxoplasmosis or other parasites. Toxoplasmosis is known to only be a problem if you consume feces that has been out for over two days, it isn’t present immediately. The ASPCA has more information, they say as long as you clean the litter every day and wash your hands there is no concern.”

“I changed the boxes all 3 of my pregnancies. Washed hands after. I would never give my cats up.”

“I had to clean my cats litter boxes too while pregnant at times when my husband was out of town for work. I wore gloves and a mask. After cleaning the boxes out I made sure I washed my hands good with hot soapy water. My little girl was born healthy and happy.”

“You can do it safely. Just wear disposable gloves and a mask. Wash you hands thoroughly. I worked at a vet clinic throughout my first pregnancy and as long as you use precautions it’s ok.”

“Wear a mask and gloves and wash hands well afterwards. That’s the recommendation for pregnant women if you can’t avoid changing the litter. And make sure to scoop it every day and change whole box at least weekly cause the bacteria that can make you sick takes a while to develop so if you stay on top of it and keep it clean you’ll be ok.”

“Since you’ve been around cats for many years before your pregnancy then you’ll be fine changing the litter box.”

“As long as they aren’t outdoor cats and up to date with shots you’ll be completely fine. I had three cats through both pregnancies and they’re both healthy active toddlers. Make sure you wash your hands well and do your best not to inhale the dust particles.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

2

Sounds like your boyfriend needs to go

2 Likes
3

I would rehome the boyfriend

1 Like
4

Seriously, if he can’t put your health and the health of your baby above himself over such a small matter, I would see that as a huge RED FLAG. If he is not joking then you better do some hard thinking. He is boyfriend status you said and marriage is a long long time with someone that doesn’t know how to put you and the baby first.

2 Likes
5

I’m very split on this thread. My first thought is you could easily do it yourself by wearing a mask, washing hands afterwards etc. My second thought is that your BF should be prepared to “help” you as needed, is this going to be the start of a life long escape of responsibility?.. My not changing nappies, that’s a Mums job. I’m not helping with feeding, that’s your job. I’m not helping with this or that because… there needs to be some commitment to being a team, completing tasks and helping each other through the new life you’re starting together. Good luck!

6

Ditch the boyfriend, he seems selfish and doesn’t care about the baby at all.

7

To those thinking it’s okay simply because she’s been around cats - that’s hilarious! :joy::joy::joy:

No, it’s not okay! Educate yourself. At the absolute very least a pregnant woman should be gloving up, masking up, and washing thoroughly afterwards. With all 3 of my pregnancies I was told no, especially with my first seeing as the cat had feline leukemia.

8

I think everyone is missing the point the boyfriend is a jerk. He doesn’t want to worry about the health of his girlfriend and his baby? Lose him, keep the cats, and wear a mask and rubber gloves and hand wash.

9

I’m thinking you need to seriously think about rehoming the boyfriend. My husband would never put my needs and health below his personal desires. I’m very sorry.

10

From the sound of it your BF is your biggest problem!! I’d really think real hard about starting over without him! You’ll do a lot better on your own with your baby to come and cleaning the kitty boxes yourself. Just protect yourself when you clean them. You will have much less work with just you and your child.

11

To be totally honest, I see both sides of this coin. I see why OP is upset that the BF won’t help with the cats. Being pregnant myself I was told not to change a litter box at all. I do however see the BF side of it. I had a SO that had cats. I am allergic to cats and told him if we got together, under no circumstances would I help take care of his cats except to fill their food and water bowls. He said that I was being selfish as well. If the boyfriend made it completely clear at the start of the relationship that he was not willing to help take care of OP’s cats, then I honestly have no sympathy for the OP because that was made clear and she chose to ignore it. If on the other hand this was not indicated at the beginning, then yeah, get rid of the BF and say good riddance.

12

Put the kitty litter in his coffee, beer, or whatever he drinks…if it doesn’t help dump his sorry add and find a ‘real man’

13

If he won’t change a cat box, is he going to refuse to change the babies diaper? To be honest a cat box has nothing on that.

14

You don’t have to re-home your cats … lots of people keep their cats n do just fine. Use a mask / deposable gloves and wash really good… make sure their up to date on shots n keep them inside. Sounds like the only one that needs to be re-homed is your 2 legged friend which brings my thoughts to question I surly hope he’s going to help changing diapers??..cause if not he deff needs to be re-homed !!!

15

I’d say you need to tell your boyfriend to find a new home. You say yourself, he’s an incredibly selfish person.
Why would you want that for you and your baby?
You both deserve better.
If he can’t clean the cat box for 9 months, I can’t imagine he’d be much help with anything after the baby’s born.
Good luck hun, you deserve better.