I had a nice FWB relationship going with someone I considered a pretty good friend. We met on an online dating page. We were both upfront and decided we wanted FWB only and to keep it casual. He was more private with his life, but I wasn’t ever pushy and let him have his space. We both have careers and work a lot, but we had dinner, did lunch, and on occasion, I’d stay the night at his house. We always used protection when we had sex. This went on for months without incident, and we actually got pretty close. I had fun with him, and I thought he was a great guy. Around Valentine’s day, he invited me on a getaway, and we let loose a little too much. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant despite using protection. I was confused and not sure I was ready to be a first time parent with someone who I only hooked up with. Naturally, I was quite upset, and I called him to discuss the situation and weigh out our options. He didn’t answer. Now, normally, it might be hours, days, or a week before he would answer my messages or calls because, as I said, it was casual, and we are both goal-orientated on our jobs and keeping stuff friendly. I just couldn’t wait that long, so I decided I’m gonna pop over to his house and see if he’s home and has a few minutes. I pull up, and his car isn’t there, but there’s a van in the driveway. I knock on the front door, not thinking anything, and a woman answers with little pajama-clad toddlers hanging onto her. I still don’t connect what is happening, so I ask if he’s home, and she says, , who are you? May I help you? I didn’t want to say who I was if this was his sister or a family member so I say I’m a friend. And she is visibly irritated by my presence. And she hits me with well I’m his wife hold on a second and I’ll call him. She closes the door, and I full-on sprint to my vehicle, crying, trying to get the hell out of there. How had I not noticed Mr. Suburbia had an entire family but it finally all made sense. The privacy wasn’t because he was private it was because he was a scum bag cheater and now I was his accomplice. I drove home sobbing still not knowing what to do and now thinking about those poor kids and that lady who probably never deserved to be cheated on. An entire day passes and I get a text from Mr. cheater himself and he is angry!! Imagine that. So after he hits me with the hate-fueled, how dare you to come by uninvited texts, and I have to tell him that I’m pregnant begrudgingly, and yes, the baby is unfortunately yours. I was waiting for more anger and he just calmly says can we talk. I thought we were!! He meant in person. I agreed, and he came over the next evening. Surprisingly he was very tender about it and even seemed excited. I was so confused because part of me was also getting a little excited at the prospect of being a mommy. But the situation was weighing on me. I can’t be with this man. He lied to me. He lied to his wife and more importantly he lied to his kids. I was angry but I tried to hear him out. He went on to tell me that the marriage was essentially a trap that he wasn’t ever in love with her but early on in his career he has a FWB situation that resulted in pregnancy and he did what he thought was the right thing. He now said he had fallen in love with me over time but never could do anything about it except love me from afar. And that now that I was having his baby, he wanted to do the right thing, he just wasn’t sure what that meant. He cried and told me he knows what people will say and that he knows it makes him look like an asshole but he never had the love of his life. He went on to say he suspected his wife got pregnant on purpose and that he never accused of that because it takes 2 to tango as he put it. He said he had made a mess out of things and he would do whatever I thought was best. I told him to tell his wife the truth!! So he went home like a puppy with his tails between his legs and spent the next 2 days telling his wife everything. I still didn’t know what to say or think. His wife contacted me, and she didn’t have anything nice to say to me. I made sure she was aware that I had no intention of being with a married man let alone a father and that I felt just as betrayed. This had no effect. She went on FB and started to slander me. She was so angry and the venom that woman spewed at me seemed to have no end. I had no intention of contacting him again, I was that angry. I assumed he had lied to her or something of that nature. But nope! She was just a very angry person. He let me listen to voice clips he had taken in the past and during their recent argument that would make a sailor blush. She ran him down, called him names, pushed him, hit on him, and would blow up over the smallest things. He showed me months worth of text messages in his phone where she called him a tiny penis man, told him to f off, called him gross, ugly, a deadbeat, and then turn right around and post on FB about her perfect life. He was in tears. I still have no idea what to do? He says they are divorcing, and he’s letting her have everything because of the kids. He wants us to be friends and work on building trust and on having a friendly relationship for our child, and he has said it more than once he hopes that maybe one day we could be together. He thinks he needs counseling for the abuse he went through, and so he can come to terms with the affair he let happen. I saw him over the weekend and my heart broke for him. Am I naive for thinking he’s actually a good man behind everything? Should I just wash my hands of him? Or does anyone believe that our mistakes are redeemable? That we can make changes that are positive even when we really mess up?? Since getting pregnant, my entire mindset of wanting FWB has changed. I want a family and someone to call my own. Should I give him a chance after he gets help? Or is he a lost cause?? Please help!!
It sounds like he’s a lost cause because who would mess with somebody else when you are married.that makes it seem like the cheating type if you reverse the situation we’re if you were married to him and he dated her and got her pregnant that’s how I would see it.
No, don’t give him a chance. He’s a shitbag.
Oh hell girl. Good luck 
I felt like I was reading a life time novel. Wow. That’s intense. No advice, good luck.
Hes still this kids dad. So hes gonna be in the picture unless he decides to give up his rights or something happens. I mean, I’m not saying marry him but I’m not saying just out him. Yep what he did was wrong but hes still the dad to your baby.
I wouldn’t necessarily give him a relationship chance but he is still the father of your child. So you should atleast be cordial for your child and coparent as best you can. Best of luck. Sorry you are going through this
He will leave your ass for next mistress and youll be the woman with pj clad kids hanging on your leg when she knocks
Only contact him when it comes to the pregnancy and see how much he really wants a divorce. Men CAN get abused just like we women do. If he TRULY DOES want out and wants help and wants to improve his life…the ball is in his court.
Lost cause if he cheated on his wife with you he will cheat on you I would talk him you guys can go parent set up a parenting plan and child support if necessary. But absolutely do not do anything else with that man untill he is fully divorced and gone thru counseling
He showed months worth of txts of the abuse, I’d say he is telling the truth. He isn’t just saying the relationship was a bad one, to make himself look good to you.
Unpopular opinion here I guess. But he isn’t asking to go straight to a relationship, he’s asking to take the time to possibly build a future together. He understands he fucked up. I’ve been there. Doesn’t make it right, but it’s a reason why it happened. Unhappy marriages can push people to go outside the marriage.
If it was me, I’d give him a chance. 🤷
If he will cheat with you he will cheat on you!
If he wants to be civil and in the baby’s life, let him. But being with him… just remember he cheated on his wife. There could always be the chance of him being unfaithful to you.
No. Have the baby. Move on. To a point I can understand the wife’s anger. My ex husband cheated on me and the woman later ended up pregnant. She had also been cheating on her SO but the baby ended up not being my ex’s. She was wrong to blast it on Facebook however. That sort of thing should not be blasted out for the world to see. I’m glad you were honest though. That sort of thing is rare. As hard as it is you need to leave that man alone. If he did that to her that easily do you honestly think he won’t do it to you? You deserve better than that and so does that baby.
How did you stay at his house and not notice anything? Like family photos or other female items? This whole thing is crazy. Elizabeth Waldo.
Considering the fact that he hid his marriage and family. Just imagine what could happen with you. Doesnt matter if he never loved her. He loed and betrayed both you and his wife. I say drop him. I dont blame you. Yoou never knew he was married but to people who dont know the whole story will call you a homewrecker and it will make you look bad staying with him.
Drop his ass quick only contact him or matters regarding your child. No more, no less. You will find a good man out there that wont lie to you.
Good luck boo.
Honey if he’s going to cheat with you, then he’s going to cheat on YOU.
I have no advice for you. I wish you the best mama! Hang in there 
No. Dont give him a chance. You only know one side of the story (his), so you never know how he really is. (Other than a liar and a manipulator obviously). Its up to you on if you want him in the childs life or not. I personally would do supervised visitations (bc hes a stranger obviously) but that would be about it as far as that goes.
It sucks because this is a sticky situation. I’m glad he went home and told his wife the truth instead of another alternative. I think it would be good for the child to try and find peace so it can have both parents. Best of luck!
Ok but if this was the other way around and he was a woman in an abusive relationship everyone would agree to give her a chance and it was understandable to cheat.
I say first work on building a co-parenting relationship and see later down the road about more. Just always trust your gut, it’s usually not wrong.
So if he married her to do the right thing after getting pregnant…he might have a routine with having flings like you on the side…if he didn’t want to be with her, why get his wife pregnant more than once??? Guys will tell you what you want to hear and 8 out of 10 times they don’t show you what they did to get the other person to act the way his wife acts towards him…maybe it’s not the first time he’s done this and that’s why the wife talks to him like that…anyways, what’s the wife’s name so I can go read up on the drama??? 
If he did this to his wife no matter how supposedly miserable he was he will eventually do it to you!!!
When you were at his house you didn’t notice
Family pics
2 dressers in his room
Girl stuff in the bathrooms/ bedroom
Any thing that had red flags of a women lives in this house??
Wives get pushed to the side and they say mean things to get attention. She was trying to get the attention he was giving you. Don’t blame her. He should have tried to fix it with her or leave. Now, he’s made two separate families and will have to take care of them both. He’s playing victim when he could’ve made a change before all of this happened. I would have the baby but I wouldn’t have a relationship with him. Of course, co parent but I’d be very cautious of anything romantic.
You met him on a dating site. He’s married, that should tell you everything. He was actively looking for an affair, is this the sort of person you want to be with?
Don’t get with him. He’s a scumbag cheater. You may have not known he was married, but he did. He was fully aware of what he was doing to his family. If he would cheat on his wife that he made vows with to be with you, he’ll do it to you to be with someone else. As for his wife, even though you obviously didn’t know he was married, put yourself in her shoes. She’s losing her family. Of course she’s going to be angry and bitter at you and him both. You can’t not expect that. It might be an unpopular opinion, but I say stop messing with him. He’s scum. Whether or not you should continue your sexual relationship with him shouldn’t even be your main concern right now.
Be respectful to each other and co parent like mature adult, but don’t be romantically involved with him. At least don’t even consider that idea until he is divorced and goes to therapy. He should be focusing on the divorce (if he was being truthful with that) and his kids (working out custody and such), all while being there for the kid you are carrying. Romance shouldn’t be a priority right now. Good luck!
Sticky situation… good luck!
My heart hurts after reading this story.
It’s hard to give unbiased advice because he did cheat on his wife with you, but you didn’t know. I think my hardest thing would be trusting that he wouldn’t do that to you, you know? If you say you saw the proof of her being a monster, it still doesn’t make the cheating okay. It’s simply NEVER okay.
I think therapy would be important for him to go through with and if you decide to be with him, then let him prove to you that he’s figuring out how to be a better person.
I know that I wouldn’t put myself in that position, but it’s whatever you decide to do.
Good luck hun.
I think if he’s willing to step up and be a father you should let him . They obviously both made mistakes in there marriage it doesn’t make the affair okay but it seems like he’s trying to make it right not only for you but himself too. I would see where everything takes you let him go through his counseling divorce and dealing with everything in his life while still being friends . You never know what will happen but I definitely would let him get his life in order first .
I say wait it out and see what happens. Make him prove himself.
He did the same thing to you that he did to her in their beginning, think about that for a little while, are you Mama #2 out of more
This is the funniest made up bs I’ve ever read 
He was emotionally abused in his relationship with his wife, did nobody else read that part? Look hun, if you can look past the fact that he cheated on his abusive wife, then give him a chance! Especially if he’s going to therapy to get help. If you can’t, then step back and be his friend and co-parent.
I know he says he did this because his wife was abusive, but if you decide to be in a relationship with him, who’s to say he won’t do the same thing to you if something went wrong. I say let him be in the child’s life as a father, but don’t have a relationship with this man.
I disagree men can be abused to" and she seems very abusive.
I dont feel he should have lied to you, but he told the truth in the end.
I feel he needs counseling and needs to get help with healing.
If you have feelings for him I would take it very slow and make sure you can take his baggage" i disagree why do women blame it always on the man men have been abused to.
I don’t know about others, but when you walk into my house I have family pictures, my shoes near the door.
Was there really no sign of a women or children living there?
Ok I’m going to be there off man out here but I’ve been in this situation and it wasn’t a lost cause. He just had to prove that he means what he says and yes they can do that. I was in a hateful marriage and so was the man I met, no I didn’t know he was married but he was so unhappy until we met. His Co workers noticed he was smiling again and yes eventually it all came out and yes it get very ugly but it’s been 5 years since he left the marriage, 4 years since his divorce was final (she drug it out try to financially brake him) and now we are happy together with a wonderful almost 4yr old son so yes it can work if he is open and honest with you from this point on
Google how to build trust after an affair. He has got to be 100% open to not having privacy.
You and his wife have every right to be angry.
I am dealing with a cheating spouse, dealing with court shit because I his stupidity, but we are trying to work it out.
If the things he has told you about his marriage are true I would give him a chance but let him know things are your way or no way, you ask a question he answers. That is THAT. Him going to therapy is an excellent idea.
I know that I ended up cheating on my ex. I ended things not even two weeks after but still and despite everything with my SO now, I do not and will not seek the attention of others. So I believe just because you did it once doesn’t mean you always will.
Let him know you’ll be critical of him, even the littlest lie or crack in his story leads to complete lack of trust or ability to restore it at this point.
My SO can’t have a lock on his phone anymore and I have most of his passwords. And if I say give me the phone that is what happens.
You and your child deserve to be happy and if you think that could be with him then try. But make what you want very very clear with him
If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you. Put him on child support, allow him visitation, but beyond that, keep it moving sis!
How did you not notice an entire family setting in the house though? It’s not like he could’ve hid literally every single thing that screams “I have a wife and kid(s)” every single time?
WHAT did this bitch just say??? Bruh!! Y’all side chicks kill me. I feel really bad for the wife
If u want to give him a chance do it. If he says he loves u and wants to be with you he might be telling the truth. He also might be a douche canoe and break your heart. I’d probably give him a chance if it was me. What’s the harm.
are you sure you’re the only FWB with him? If he’s lying to his wife, he’s lying to you. I have no sympathy for you at all.
Just when I thought my life was bad. Along comes this page to change my mind.
Only time can tell. I was in a relationship when I met the love of my life (wasn’t married but still) I cheated and although I regret the act of cheating because it goes against my morals, I don’t regret meeting the man I am in love with now. I’m just saying cheating is bad yes, but that doesn’t always make the person bad. Now if its habitual and there’s a pattern thats different and no way Jose. Let him go through counselling & his divorce, give it at least until your baby is born before talking about being together romantically, but if he’s willing to be a part of his childs life then you should let him. This isnt a decision to made one time, it’s trial and error and results come with time. Best of luck!
Take it slow only u can determine weather hes a shit bag or not
People cheat for lots of reasons. Its not always that they are a scum bag. Children make alot of people feel trapped in terrible marriages. He is the father of your baby, give him a chance but make him earn it, especially your trust!
Honestly… it’s going to be hard to get that trust back, from experience. I speak from experience, but mine wasn’t married, but was with the woman for NINE years. Lied to me about it, said they weren’t together and whatever else… I got pregnant, learned the truth and reached out to her…(took me mouths to find out her name). I felt terrible, IM 7 1/2 months pregnant and he’s been living with this woman. He ended up moving with me, we’ve worked past it, I’ve apologized multiple times to this woman… took about a year for her to have a sit down with me for the sake of their daughters… we are now friends and coparent great. He and I have 2 kids and Are still going 
strong
LMFAO
Are you that damn delusional?
He knocked up his FWB, married her, and cheated with YOU
He’s gonna do the same exact shit to you
All the rage and insults from his wife towards him are 1,000% justified seeing how he is a lying cheating POS
Also not sure how you didn’t realize he lived at home with a full on family all the times you went over there
Talk to each other be respectful parents so the counciling, maybe he did do the right thing with her for the sake of the kid’s everyone makes mistakes so take your time let him prove to you that he is for real and go from there good luck hun xx
I mean technically he didn’t lie he just kept secrets. If you can look past that I’d say do what’s best for the baby and let your heart decide what’s best
Well this sounds like it’s from non fiction romance book…I say step up and be a parent and let the man go. He isn’t going to leave his wife and children.
That’s something only you can decide when the time comes, and if it does then you need to sit down and have a serious talk about what you and him will be expecting
I don’t understand how you have spent the night at his place and never once noticed he had a wife and children… there had to have been pictures on the walls or some kind of sign kids living in that home. Even just a kids sock on the floor or a picture drawn on the fridge or SOMETHING. I don’t believe you didn’t have any idea he was married. I have NEVER been to a mother or fathers home where there are no pictures at all. And if he cheated on his wife, he’d just do the same thing to you if he was with you. I’d say give up and raise your baby while co parenting.
He’s married! No matter how it happened he’s married. You need to think of your unborn child now and be an adult. Playtime is over.
he can do it once hell do it again
I wouldn’t say he is a lost cause but I wouldn’t give him a chance to put you in his wife’s position. If he truly wants to be a on friend level for the sake of your child then that is all it should be. He needs to work on himself. It’s unfortunate that things like this happen. The wife and kids are the only victims in this story. You have a child that you have to think about. Do what is best for that child. Co-parenting isn’t a bad thing. He may be terrible at being in a committed relationship but he may be a great father. Let him be the father your child deserves with out being with him because that same story he gave you about the wife he will use on the next female…
I’d beat his ass too
Sounds like a whole lot of nope.
Wow not gonna lie this was a juicy story. I feel for you girl, tough situation to be in
I’m curious as to how his house was set up that it didn’t raise any flags when you were there? Did he put everything away while you were there? If it were my marriage, I wouldn’t slander the woman, I’d slander the fuck out of the man who I exchanged vows with, not the woman who had nothing to do with our promises to each other.
I’m calling bullshit without even reading all of this mess of not knowing he has a wife and kids if you were in their home 
there’s no way there was nothing to suggest a woman or children lived in the house
Sounds fishy…I think you knew he was married and just don’t want to seem like a homewrecker. How can you stay at his house and not notice ANYTHING of his family’s? Kids toys?, pictures?, where was the wife? This just seems to weird. Either way you got yourself into this situation. Lol good luck.
If he will cheat with you I PROMISE he will cheat on you. You can coparent without a relationship which allows you time without pregnancy hormones to determine if he is worthy of commitment…and for him to provide you with finalized divorce papers.
He is not being abused. She’s likely given him a million chances and is sick of his shit. And there is no way you stayed at his house so many nights and didn’t know a woman and children lived with him. It is nothing personal about you, but he will not stay with you, you are the woman he used and he will inevitably go back to his wife in this situation. You are just going to have to face life as a single mother for now.
Isn’t the baby already here
Uhh, don’t be so shallow.
He’s not gonna leave his wife.
Even if he does, do you REALLY want a man that cheats? I mean, he cheated on her so he’ll probably do the same to you when shit gets rough.
I’d stay friends for the kids sake but that’s it!
Be a good co parent with him, seek some sort of therapy for yourself, get a plan in place for you and that baby, sometimes people are in shit relationships, shit happens, yes he was in the wrong for not being honest, sounds like he needs therapy himself, so you both can move forward with a positive relationship as parents regardless of the other issues.
Sorry, once a cheater always a cheater
God seriously?? Stop trying to convince yourself it’s her. He’s an arsehole and if you continue on past this point now you know he’s married then so are you!
If you do work things out, and decide to be together, will you be able to trust him? When he says he’s at work, or grocery shopping or whatever, and you are at home with the child(ren), are you going to be able to trust him, or will you be waiting for a woman to knock on your door?
You leave that man alone and file for child support once the baby is born. He cheated on his wife, he won’t be faithful to you either. You and her both deserve better. And it’s out there, I promise! 
Meh, my grandfather married the woman he cheated on my grandmother with…and stayed that way for 4 decades. 🤷
Nobody can tell you what to do with this.
My advice, talk to a lawyer and plan on arranging custody and visitation, etc.
If he gets a divorce, y’all need therapy before you do anything involving more than friendship.
Just do what you said. Stay friends, let him get couseling and see what happens. Good luck.
I wouldn’t try going back to him because you can’t trust him. But you are going to have a child together so it’s best for the child to be on friendly terms and coparent together
Once a cheater always a cheater
So his wife had children as a result of a FWB, now he’s having a child with you as a result of being FWB … I see a pattern occuring here. Wait until your the one with pyjama clad toddlers attached to you when a random woman shows up at your door because believe me it’s coming…
First of all until the papers are finalized don’t even think about giving him a chance. Second if she is an abusive human then he can give her half. She would have to buy him out of the house. He needs to ask the mediator and judge for a gag order and a restraining order if possible. Mental abuse is no joke. If he needs to show the voice recordings in the court tell him to ask permission. Until he can be a fully functioning person after therapy taking him in and making him “family” that started on lies will just be the end of a friendship for the new baby. Wait until he gets his ducks in order.
I am sad to see that you are thinking of taking his side. Of course, it is really easy to see nothing but the bad side of his wife… you basically dropped a bomb on her life unintentionally of course, and then wondered why she would be acting all abusive to him. wounded people say terrible things. She just found out he cheated and is making a baby with someone else. And you don’t know how bad he has it, because all you know is what he says to you. If he was such a great guy, she might try to fight for him, but she sounds done. Let him be a father to your baby, but do not expect him to stay true to you. Once a cheater, always a cheater… sadly.
That’s a hard one BUT I’m 100% sure he’ll cheat on you. So decided to herself if you’re ever willing to be in her shoes about it plus he’s going to be paying child support and alimony so he probably wont have a lot for your baby and himself. If I had a chance to redo I wouldve hat a child with a man without kids.
Honestly do what is best for that babyband YOU. Who cares about her feelings in this situation. You didn’t know that he was married so you arent at fault. He is. Dont expext him to change though. Men and women DON’T change. Not ones like that. They are unhappy internally and thats something only they can fix.
History repeats itself.
I’ll put this out here… my story was was eerily similar. I FWB a guy who would spend entire weekends with me, so why would I think he was married with kids? I found out he was married when his wife reached out to me. We cut off contact for a while, but we got back together when he was separating from his wife. (Stupid me) he was so good a manipulating everything and I fell for it. 
3 months go by and I find out I’m 10 weeks pregnant… we end up getting married when my son was 6 months old. 1 year later I find out he is having an affair and has been for 1.5 years. Literally the second I went on maternity leave before baby was born, he was already cheating with a coworker (we met through work too) Sad thing is… she KNEW he was married! We were friends and she even babysat for us for date nights 
pathetic. Buuuuut I found out the truth and left, got into contact with his ex’s and every relationship ended the exact same way!
Once a cheater, always a cheater
I certainly hope r mistakes r redeemable. If not we r all in trouble. Do u feel he’s being honest with u now? Do u trust him not 2 cheat on u in the future? Do u believe what he tells u? We all make mistakes but it’s what we learn from them that counts. I don’t know this man so I can’t answer ur questions. That’s sonething u have 2 decide 4 urself. Plez don’t end up being the woman answering the door with a toddler in tow.
If he did it to her why do you think he wont do it to you. He sounds like scum to me. Also it’s just a thought, is the divorce his idea or hers? Ofcorse she gets everything he cheated? I wouldnt want to be someone’s second choice. You deserve better and doesnt sound like to me he deserves you. You can co-parent and not have to be in a relationship
This is a joke. That man doesn’t love you. He doesn’t love her. He tells you both exactly what you want to hear. Have the baby. Love the baby. Take that baby and raise him/her to be nothing like him. But keep your distance.
Don’t you find it funny that only some things make sense? That’s because narcs will tel you the “truth” but only give you half of the story. She’s not crazy, she’s hurt and angry. She loves a man and has given herself to a man who has never cared to have it, and if you think too hard on it, you’re going to be her. Learn from this. Grow from this. Do not become his victim. Be the mother that baby needs. Show your strength before you’re too deep into your feelings. It’s possible to coparent. If not, she’s always going to be around regardless. Y’all will go back and forth in social media for years and that’s exactly what he wants! To feel wanted. Two women fighting over him makes him feel superior. Don’t give this ass hat the satisfaction. Love yourself girl, or nobody will.
You need to not make this decision right now because you have crazy emotional pregnancy hormones. Step back and focus on you and baby. That is #1 priority, not him. He needs to be kept in the loop on pregnancy because it is his child also. But that does not mean you need to be intimate or even friends.
He needs to use this as a wakeup call to decide what he wants. If his wife is abusive then he needs to fix that situation for himself and his children, not for you. He needs to fix himself and his own situation outside of anything between the 2 of you.
That is just my 2 cents, but really no one on here can tell you what to do because we don’t know you or this guy or his background other than what you have shared here.
So… you stayed the night at his house and didn’t notice any signs that he had a family there??? IF that’s the truth that means that he spent a lot of time hiding things before you got there, which makes him scum 
Wow what a horrible situation too be in… His poor wife not surprised she angry…
That filthy man needs to take ownership of his life.
If his wife is so bad he needs to leave, NOT make things worse by cheating and getting another woman pregnant.!
How did you not see the kids stuff or photos when you went to ‘his’ house…?? 
I fell for a married man. Everyone said I was a slut a home wrecker, that he was having a mid life crisis and would kick me to the curb and return to his family. He told me the same things. His marriage was awful and they got married way to young and never really knew what love was. He wasn’t lying. We are still together 6 years later and he is my soul mate. We had a beautiful daughter and are now getting custody of his sons also. If you love him dont give up right away because it didnt happen ideally. I almost walked away from what ended up being best thing that ever happened to me.
Maintain a good relationship with the man if you can without getting any messier than what it already is. Make sure he isn’t just using those clips of things he showed you to manipulate you because my ex cheated on me with the mother of his child and got her pregnant again. He made her out to be crazy before that with videos, pictures, texts and everything to back it up, but he left out all the crap he did to cause her to act that way and sometimes the way she reacted was justifiable. Actions will always speak louder than words so if he tells you they’re getting a divorce, make sure they are actually getting a divorce, but I think it’s probably a good sign that he told her everything when you asked him to. It’s a bad sign though that he cheated on her for months and was able to keep something that big from you. Pay attention to all the signs and similarities to the marriage he’s in now and the relationship he’s now seeking with you. He told you he got married because he wanted to do the right thing and then told you after you got pregnant that he wanted to do the right thing. Make sure he isn’t just using the pregnancy as a way to escape his marriage and actually cares for you.
This is why men are killing their wives and children!! Affairs… I say do yourself a solid and let go and raise that baby. I’m sure he told you everything you wanted to hear by saying didn’t love her and he was stuck. You would be absolutely ignorant to believe that and you would be absolutely ignorant to believe this man has better intent with you than he does his wife. He cheated on her and his children. What honestly makes you think he wouldn’t do the same to you
I think that you should do what feels right. All these women will tell you to leave him, Get child support and only maintain a co-parent relationship… However, If you think somthing in him is salvageable then its up to you to decide. Maybe talk about cheating in a term close to polyamory. See if he is a person of many relationships instead of a monogamy one. Either way let him be a dad and understand that people are only human and that we all fuck up.
Once a cheater always a cheater
Amber Justice this is juicy
Never been in this position but, I met my o/h after he split with his ex and we’ll that woman is an absolute nutter, we’ve been together coming up 4 years and she still try’s to split us up. So these crazy bitches do exist and we met after they split. He may well have been in a bad relationship and felt trapped but he knew what he was doing when he cheated and he let it go on for quite some period without being honest to you or his wife so do consider that part not just how awful she is I’d want to crucify anyone who hurt my family.