I am sick of my husband being so lazy. He’s a good guy and a good dad when he wants to be, but I am done .he works random hours of work since he works for himself, yes there day, he overworks .when work slow, he will work maybe 3 hours max and yet he does nothing at home. I work 8-10 hours a day Monday threw Saturday. I still have to come home clean, cook, help with my daughter’s school things. He won’t even help to pick her up from school when his home is doing nothing. I have to take my lunch when she out of school to be able to pick her up to my daughter. My daughter even now complains that when she stays home with him, all he does is sleep. When I try to tell him things, he gets aggressive and angry with me saying all I do is complain to him. I need help am at a point where I wouldn’t mind leaving him. I make good money on my own, and my family would take me in a heartbeat and can financially help me if needed. I do love my husband deep down, but I don’t think I can keep living with someone like this, but can he change even though we been married six years now and idk am just lost … I don’t want to give up, but they’re so much going on that do,esn’t know what to think.
You just answered your own question. You make good money on your own, have a support system… but if you’re not happy your child sees that. Do you want your daughter to grow up seeing that being treated that way is normal and accepted behavior from men?
Maybe he is going through some sort of depression.
You’ve pretty much answered your own question.
he will only change if he wants to. maybe hes depressed or maybe hes just a lazy pos. try counseling and if nothing changes leave. atleast than you can say you tried. good luck!
He doesn’t do anything because you keep allowing him to do nothing.
Sit down have a discussion no talking at but talking to. Be open honest. Both sides.
That makes me so sad that you’re dealing with this. He sounds like a man child. I would suggest laying it straight to him where you’re at, and couples therapy if you’re willing (and he is too). Otherwise, you’ve said yourself that you’re able to get out and support yourself, it may be time.
If you can’t talk to him, suggest counseling, if he refuses, separate for a while. Bottom line is this, you cannot change a person unless he or she wants to change.
From what I understand about men, he’s not doing it because he really doesn’t have to. That can be changed. What I don’t like is that you said he gets aggressive and angry when you try to communicate with him or ask that he helps out.
Ok typically I would be on the Mama’s side with this one… But my husband and I are both in low spots if depression right now and out house looks like a tidal wave came through. I’m home way more often than him and cannot find the strength to clean.
What if, just hear me out, he is battling depression…?
He may have some issues with depression maybe talk to him about this bottom line he needs to man up.and act like an adult if he is having mental health issues then he needs to make the move to get help not you if he doesn’t then he is choosing not to love forward in life and get better for his family. I would leave if after talking openly with him about this if he doesn’t make a move to change something in a month or two then leave don’t baby him, don’t nag him but let him know in a loving way you also have a lot on your shoulders too and you need him to contribute if he flat out says no or wont even have that discussion with you then make plans
Kick him the hell out. Dont put up with that crap.
Have another discussion. Tell him what you expect of him and let him know that you are at the end of your rope. Let him know you are considering leaving if things don’t change permanently.
When mothers have depression we can’t sleep all day and crap up the house. Heck no parent can depressed or not. With children you don’t have a choice. It’s up to adults to realize they need help and seek it.
Maybe just tell.him? Like pick up your daughter at this time. Dont give him an option. Say everything to him you said here…how you work 6 days a week and if he doesnt step it up, you’re done? Give him a list of things you want done…men dont get it most of the time and seriously need every little thing badically written out for them.
You just said you wouldn’t mind leaving, leave.
Well I think you should quit! If you can support yourself and your daughter than start a happy new life. Dnt wait to see the worst. Your daughter deserves better. I am sure you will be much better off without him. Good luck my dear
Tell him it’s either time you get up and help or get out if you don’t want to be apart of the family. You sound like you’ve already got your mind made up just haven’t put it into action xx
Does he do outside chores, fix the cars, unplug toilets, paint a room?
Send that grown man baby back to his mother.
Tell him to change or leave I did
There would be one more discussion about going through counseling and trying to fix the problems or time to call it quits.
You need both partners actively working toward a healthier mental health and a healthy relationship. Disrespecting you partner and children by doing nothing else and letting you carry half of the financial responsibility plus all of the household and kids, is so selfish.
That is not OK depressed or not.
We have to actively work on ourselves And our mental health.
If you are already complimenting leaving him then now’s the time to give them the Ultimatum.
Your best bet is to make sure you can financially support yourself, and then tell him if things don’t change, then you’re gone. You hold the power here, and if he wants to lose his family because he wants to be lazy, that’s on him.
Get a house keeper to help
Put your fucking foot down 🤦
Tell him to shape up or ship on out.
Kick him to the curb
She doesn’t need a house keeper to help her she needs her husband. Why should he get off scott free?
I usually would say get rid of him. But you say he lays around. Sleeps a lot, doesn’t work many hours etc. Is it possible he’s depressed? Maybe when you give your him the. You need to straighten up speech you could suggest counseling, he may have a mental health issue. You wouldn’t be mad if he was disabled and couldn’t do these things would you? If not and you love him try to suggest he gets help for the sake of your family. If that doesn’t work and you can take care of your daughter then do what you have to.
Give him a taste of his own medicine…dont do things that are important to him and when he asks why your not doing these things…that’s when you explain, not fight, explain you need his help …if he doesn’t comply with you it might be time to change mates
What is the basis for him not helping. My husband not much help, but he is sick alot. I just hire someone to do my honey dos. Sometimes he’ll feel guilty and do something so I don’t have to pay someone. As a single parent you’ll have to do that anyway.
Maybe he’s in a funk??
Try and talk to him. Sounds like depression
You are going to have to talk to him amd tell him you are physically burned out from doing almost everything. Ask if he’s depressed. If so, he should go to see a therapist and maybe go on medication for it. Be blunt that things have to change as soon as possible because you are at your breaking point.
My suggestion would be to write things that need doing down on a white board and let him know that’s what need to get done by the end of the day… ( both you and him ) if he is still lazy and you end up doing everything then don’t cook him dinner or wash his clothes or do anything for him if he can’t help you out
There seems to be a lack of communication here on both parts. You both really need to hAve a heart to heart conversation. If he doesn’t listen, or take it seriously, show him you’re serious. Pack some bags and Go to your families house. Or ask him to leave. He’ll either come back crying or won’t give a shit. If he doesn’t give a shit, don’t go back.
How did his mama raise him and what did his dad do that may indicate why he does what he does
Depression no excuse. If so you definitely don’t want to be around someone who is depress. Not good for your daughter either. Depression can consists of many things… Bad spirits believe it or not and Of course suicidal… Also killing… (Maybe I watch to much Date line but let’s be realistic it does and can happen and people do snap especially if you said he gets aggressive. At this point it’s 2020 and you have to be good for your daughter in every aspect and that comes with so many things like help and being well rested and not being over work… As for love Like my mom would always say, " What love has to do with it? Love will not help you, love will not cook, love will not clean love will not pay the bills… etc and the list can go on and on… What’s love is your daughter that’s love and she has alot to do with everything. Love is your self your peace of mind well being and mental state… You can talk to him and give him an ultimatum if he’s not willing to change long term t,hen life goes on be strong and move on you will find someone better that you can benefit from and help you. Focus on your daughter and you…
He is not a good guy or a good dad and he is not going to change. You are teaching your daughter its okay for him to treat you and her this way.
I’ve just decided to be happy alone with my kids. Tired of having to say stuff needed to get done and things only got done when I would get so fed up I’d be screaming… Too much stress. Either shape up or ship out!
I find women are working harder than men these days
Ever thought about that he might be depressed?
Communication is the key. Is he willing and wanting to try to meet you halfway? I know my husband had been dealing with laziness and we had gone to counseling , limiting his gaming to weekends only was a big one while still giving him time to himself and to do things he wanted to do. But he was willing to meet me halfway, I’ll do the dishes and he will put them away, I do the laundry he puts it away. But talking about everything bothering u both is where it all starts. He also has said and confessed to just never thinking of us (my daughter and I) first but not intentionally just of habit. And years of struggling with adhd etc. he regularly sees a psychiatrist now and is on medications that help him not be so aggressive and short tempered and focus more
It is not giving up. He isnt doing his part. And sadly, men don’t usually see this as an issue. Walk away, if he tries to mend his way, give him another chance. But if you stay, believe me. There will not be a change❤
It’s now or never love. If you’ve expressed your concerns and issues and he doesn’t consider them and instead gets aggressive and mean then that’s your answer. Things won’t change. Sounds to me like you’re doing it on your own anyways, so it wouldn’t hurt to cut out one less mouth to feed! Good luck mama.
Tell him to man up n help or get the heck out.
Relationships should be equal effort. You’ve got this.
I would tell him how you feel, that if it doesn’t change that you’re leaving him. If he doesn’t change then I would go!! If you are able to provide what you and your kids need then you are golden.
Have a serious convo with him. Point blank shape up or ship out. And then mean it. I’d never stand for my husband to be aggressive or mean with me.
A marriage is a partnership. You both give 100% not 50/50.
If he isnt willing then why waste ur time
Life is stressful and busy enough as it is to have someone there that doesnt help he is suppose to be your husband not your child.
Love is tooo short. To wait for someone to change. Move on:pray:
He could have depression so I’d tell him to get help and work on it. If it doesn’t improve though you need to do what’s best for you and your daughter
Someone like that can change, but they might only begin to change when you leave… and they are forced to care for a child and home by themselves. Then they will realize what they’ve lost.
He sounds like 
I would leave him.
Maybe address his depression then go from there?
PlHow aggressive? Any aggression AT all at your for expressing your feelings is a huge red flag. Run and go live your life on your terms and for you and your child and not for trying to please your man or keep the peace. Much love mama. Signed, someone who has been there.
First I would go back to school, that was difficult to read. Second I would tell him to step tf up or step out.
And this is one of the reasons I left my ex
I’ve been there and leaving was the best thing for me and my kids. I didn’t realize how bad things with my ex were until I got with a man who would do anything for me and my kids. Taking time away from my ex was what helped to clear my mind and showed me how much he manipulated me into believing he did so much for me when he didn’t do squat most of the time
It sounds like he’s depressed. Maybe yall need some time together WITHOUT nagging or kids. Everybody needs a break he might even need to seek out professional help.
As a husband that uses to be the same way if not worse. Yes he can change but only if he wants to . My wife told one day that she couldn’t deal with things the way they were it almost ended our marriage but we sat down communicated put all our issues on the table and we worked on it
He sounds depressed and in need of help. Talk to him about seeing someone maybe?
Stop doing things. When he tells you the kitchen needs attention you throw the broom at him and tell him his ass lives there too. Grown ass man child. 
worked for me. I would come home and he was washing dishes… 
Could your husband be depressed? Sleeping alot is a side affect of depression. I mean if your not happy then leave but also leaving someone who is depressed and may not understand its depression kinda wouldn’t be cool either. I know I would hate myself if my husband left me because of my depression. Just a thought.
First, and please do not take offense…if you are helping your child with her school work you may want to work on your grammar and maybe speech. Now to your husband. Stop. Stop everything for a second. Stop telling him things to do. Do all you must to care for your family, home, job, and any pets. Change your attitude…do it as though you and your child are alone…the work that is. Speak lovingly to your husband with no complaints for one month. Be cheerful about what you do alone and with your daughter, even if you think you will bust. Tell yourself, cause it is true that you can only change yourself. But it is in our change other things may change. Do this as a project if you must so as to stick to it. Try this for hopefully a month. Note any positive changes in your man. Now, and this is very important, point out and thank him for anything, anything that he does towards helping you. Please, for your sake, your daughter, and your husband try this. Leave the room if you feel you are going to have a melt-down. If you believe in the Living God…Pray for strength but do not complain for one month. At the end of the month, take note of any changes.
Hell with that I’d be gone sorry
You’re gonna have to give him an ultimatum, don’t give him a chance to be aggressive, just tell him do it or don’t, and if he doesn’t or is ok saying “well then just go” then you know where you stand, my husband and I have been together 7 years, for 4-5 of those years he was horrible about doing any kinda of house work or caring for our son when he was a baby (but is much better now he’s older) and he has a bad temper and can be very defensive to anyone trying to correct him, but he does it as an intimidation factor so that he doesn’t have to face his own short comings and seems to be exactly what your husband does, once I was fed up and lost. my. shit. on him, like I’m telling you I lost it, suddenly he started changing his tune and things started getting done.
To be fair - if the worst things about him are that he doesn’t help out at home - then that’s not too bad - I think the two of you need to sit down and have a serious conversation about what you would like from him before you throw in the towel
Time to do something positive. Leave
As a man I say have a sot down with him and a neutral person tell him he needs to be a "PARTNER " and do at least half the housework and child care. If he’s not willing. Kick him to the curb asap. I do laundry, cook 70% cooking and other housework to help my wife out. I bring her flowers just because and always give her time after she gets home to just unwind. And I’m rewarded well for my efforts.
I would definitely talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Just tell him he needs to shape up or your leaving. If he makes no progress and doesn’t care than you know it’s time to move on.
I’d leave. If you’ve tried everything maybe leaving would give him a wake up call. Actions speak so much louder than words. If you’re doing it all on your own, maybe not having the added stress would be a great change
You have to go on lunch to pick up your daughter, while he sits at home? You should’ve put your foot down there and said you won’t do that he needs to help or he can go.
How aggressive does he become when you try to talk to him?
Stories like this make me realise how lucky I am
You deserve help especially if you are also working.
Setup a chore list and divide up.
Do your stuff! Cook and clean for you and your child! Treat him the way he is treating you, be a roommate! Move him out of your room into your daughters room and don’t clean his shit or take care of him! Let him see how life really is! And take your child out of the house as much as possible! He can know what it will be like to be a single dad! You have to be tough!
Video tape him. And when your daughter comes to you upset about her father tape her. Wait until hes calm and show him what you guys deal with. Show him your at your wits end and all you want is help. Sometimes them seeing themselves in “action” is proof that they are behaving like that, and your not “over exaggerating”.
Let it pile up, and tell him he needs to hire a maid for you.
I wonder if he’s dealing with depression? Maybe you can look into if there’s something going on with him, medically. I felt that way for a good while when I was postpartum, but it took me forever to realize it, because when you’re in the middle of it all, it make sense to you to feel like a trashcan the dumptruck ran over.
My partner complained about the amount of time I spent cleaning and organising the house and not with our twin daughters (when I am not working I pick them up from kindy and we go to the park, swimming etc so he can have time to work on his business) He even hinted that what I did wasn’t all that good anyway. So I stopped doing it. A week later he suggested we get a cleaner. We now have a cleaner 2.5 hrs per week to focus on dusting/wiping, bathrooms, floors, windows, walls, doors, ceilings. I thanked him for paying $115 per week for a cleaner to do his share of what I consider to be maintenance and not the day to day things. My point is, get him to pay for a cleaner out of his pocket.
When y’all figure out what actually works please let me know lol. I’ve done everything. Even threatened to leave. It got some results but I still do most of housework. Been married 16 years and this year we started counseling. Praying for you that you find answers.
Actually sounds like hes depressed for some reason. I would talk to him and see if theres something bothering him. Yes he definitely should be helping and just tell him it bothers you hes not helping enough and if hes depressed then get some help to better the situation. Now if theres nothing wrong and hes just down right lazy and he dont listen when you tell him that needs to change then yes do something about it.
He can either get it together and act like a husband or you can do better without him. Try talking to him first, schedule chores, etc.
When I read this status it actually sounded alot like my partner. He has been signed off work for his mental health. Mental health is a serious thing. He doesn’t do anything around the house either and it does get frustrating sometimes feeling like I am the only one who gives a damn. I deal with 3 beautiful girls, clean, cook, bath etc. I have to be ok with that to protect his mental health. All this commenting about telling this woman to get rid of him, kick him out etc but none of you actually know this man or what is going on in his head. I don’t have advice and no one can really tell this lady what she should or shouldn’t do. It is all up to her, only she can decide x
I have the opposite problem. My hubby won’t stop doing stuff. I’m very appreciative and consider myself lucky but I fear he’s running himself into the ground and wish he’d slow down…take a nap, chill out.
Talk to him ,tell him this that’s the only way you can figure out which way is best for you ,good luck
Time to man up or hit the fam road
If he’s unwilling to even discuss this you’re kinda stuck…if you want to try to save your marriage suggest maybe counseling…a good counselor can help put this in perspective…
Maybe stay with fam for a few days, make him realize how good he has it…if he doesn’t realize, or doesn’t seem to care, then you’re already out of the house and doing well all by yourself and he becomes his own problem. Shouldn’t have to take care of a ‘man’ whose more a child than an adult. #notsorry
Make him a list daily
He needs a rude awakening so he knows you are serious. Often ppl change for a bit and when things die down they go back to the old ways. If things dont change fast and for the better let him go.
I’d ask to help… If he gets angry say nothing more file for divorce
He can change…but you gotta draw a line, talk to him, tell him if he doesnt start being part of the team…you are basically doing everything solo you might as well just really be solo, either he steps it up or you stepping out
Get house cleaning service. This way everyone will be happy
Tell him how you feel and what you expect help with, he can’t meet your needs if you don’t make them known! Some men just assume mothers do all, share your feelings about it.
I dealt with the same after 12 years asked for a divorce. I have so much less to do! And no longer resentful! It was the best! We co parent amazingly!
I’ve been in your position and talking to him never helped anything. It always lead to a fight that would turn physical. I dealt with it for 4 years and I eventually left. I’ve been so much happier with my life since then but that’s just my experience. I saw this post a second ago that said what you’re going through and says “don’t settle for being a slave in your own home” 
I don’t have much advice for you, but I hope everything works out.
Sounds like you know what to do, have the resources to do what needs to be done and your child would understand, seems like you aren looking for a push to be sure. Leave him. Get a divorce. There’s a million excuses you can be told for his behavior but in the end it’s unacceptable. You and your child deserve better, he’s not worthy of the family he has. Leave. You’ll be happier for it.
I can tell u what u can do leave for a while to teach him a lesson becuz something u have to remind them what they can lose in order for them to change they ways and dont let him know that u leaving just one day when he steps out the house u leave with your daughter and then when he does call u to find out why u ain’t home u can tell him how u feel and let him k iw if he domt change and help around the house then u dont need to he with somebody like him