I am starting to hate my mother in law: Advice?

Am I wrong for really beginning to hate my mother in law? My husband and I have been together for 11 years I have two daughters who are now 20, and 13 and my husband has a son who is 14… girls are mine biologically and is his biologically. Mother in law has not excepted my kids from day 1. Never has taken them overnight buys stuff for boy and completely forgets about girls. She has told me that they are not her blood, and she will never bond with them as she does her grandson. It’s getting old she won’t come to the girl’s birthdays but will the boys… Both of my daughters hate her for the way she has treated them, and so do I. My husband has tried to talk to her many times, but now my daughters or I really don’t want anything to do with her. I love my husband but hate my mother in law is this normal.


I don’t know if hate is good to carry. I’d personally stop having expectations and do what makes your family happy. Stay blessed dear


Sad situation but just accept it for what it is and move on, theres no changing it. Its been 11 years already. Your entitled to feel how u feel.


Don’t worry about her. Make sure you keep her away from your home and your kids. I would not even bother.


It’s been a long 34 years for me. It’s hard but you just have to let it go. I finally did and am so much happier.


Stop inviting her. To the girls n boys parties. Stop accepting gifts for the boys if she’s not got anything for the girls Stop allowing her to take just the boy to do things if the girls aren’t included. Stop allowing her to do this to your girls. Cut her out if she can’t grow up and treat the kids as equals.


You and the girls just stay away from her.


Her behavior is HORRIBLE but she is your husband’s mom. Try to keep your distance from the mean old thing but don’t hate. It only harms you and your girls.


Just stop inviting her…
Tell her to ring before she comes over. And then say sorry you are busy if the boys are happy visiting her. Limit the visits to once a month… .if she buys the boys gifts ? they have to stay at her house. Quietly out her out of family events.
Just treat her like the bitch she is…
I’m a step grand parent and I love all my grandkids equally… blood or not. They other grandparents dont… so I told them off. And they have to have the boys at their place to open gifts. So that the girls dont Miss out. Anyone who treats kids differently.
Dont deserve to grand parents.
And remind her blood doesnt make a family , love does.
Just cut her off.

How can you not feel hate when she does that to your daughters. Keep her as far as possible. People like that will rarely change, and really, it’s not worth you feeling hate. Tell her you’ll pray for her so that maybe someday that bitterness will leave her soul.


She’s not worth y’all hating her. Hate will just hurt you. Her loss … disassociate yourself from her, stop inviting her to events and move on. Let her visit with her grandson but make it clear to the girls that they should not expect anything from her and move on

It is either ALL the kids or none … do not accept anything given or done for the boys, if the same is not on offer for the girls.


Your girls are 13 and 20 do they really care ?


Her behavior is unacceptable for sure, but be careful you aren’t projecting negative feelings you actually have towards your husband for clearly not taking a stand on behalf of ALL of his kids—especially your daughters—by denying his mother access to any of them if they are all not treated equally. I’m confused why she’s even still allowed at birthday parties and such if she only recognizes the son and not your daughters. My anger would be more focused on my husband perhaps…he’s the one that should be the protector of your family as it relates to his mom. Think about that a bit…

Set a good example for your daughters and just stay clear of her love your daughters in time they will get it what goes around comes around this mother in law is the loser your not shell paying the end good luck

I agree all or none. But that could hurt the boy. Id tell her she can call and see him but any gifts can be an account she sets up and gives him at a later date or something. You cant make her love the girls. You can however choose how much she is in your life. Talk to your husband about it of course. Does he want to do anything? If he wants to hold gifts from his son until his mother acts right that would be better. Its a tough one. Letting go may be the best option. Just love your family and ignore her 🤷


Boys should see that respect is needed for his sisters or respect is not given to his grandmother, your MIL


Shes doing it on purpose to get yr reaction… I’d basically just have nothing to do with her …


Don’t let her be involved with the other either! My sister in law tried pulling this crap however my baby is her brothers child and his other kids with his ex she watched and had all the time and my daughter never! I cut ties real quick and now she’s involved! Speak your mind show your strength and don’t let her walk all over you

I :100: agree! I have a “ step grandson”. That I totally accept as our grandson he’s one of ours totally. How do you do that to a child that doesn’t understand ? We have accepted him as our own and no questions asked he thinks we are his grandparents and we just love him so much !!!


Inconsiderate, ignorant and unacceptable!


Children don’t get to choose the family they belong to. Whether through birth or marriage. When children come into your life no matter how, they should be loved and at least acknowledged. She doesn’t have to leave them anything in her Will. But she should at least buy them a gift for Christmas or their birthdays. I think stop acknowledging her. Don’t invite her anymore. Say this is how you want it… fine. Then stop inviting her. I’m sure the girls have other grandparents. It’s sad that these kids have never been accepted.


It’s all the children or none… I have a child from another relationship and said to my now fiance its me and my son or nothing… And that goes the same for your family… I don’t except them to love him like there own grandchildren. But you treat him the same… His dad’s side barely has anything to do with him as it is so he isn’t going to be ignored by another family… And they always have included him from day one… As I said its the girls to… Or none of the.m

That doesn’t sound normal at all . Walk away from the negativity. All or nothing there should never be favourites. If she can’t like the girls she should be able to hang out with just the boy .

My grandmother was superstitious and I was born on Friday the 13th
She would buy my sisters gifts but not me . My parents would by gifts and put her name on them . I wasn’t allowed in her house so my whole family would visit in the driveway . They wouldn’t just leave me outside . They supports me and not my grandmother. Some people just don’t see things the same way as others .

Forgive her for her ignorance, and forgive her for your own sanity!!
I’ve had this happen to me and my girls with my mother inlaw. I’ve been with my hubby since I was 13yrs old. We are now in our 50’s. His mother and I were very close for many years. And then shit started happening and we grew apart. As we grew apart she would do stuff to piss me off. Then she started playing favorites with the grand kids. Ex-ed my daughters out. My daughter’s got old enough to recognize it. I told my oldest to get on the phone while I was talking to her grandmother so my daughter can here her talk to me like an asshole mother inlaw. ( hubby didn’t believe me that she was mean to me). So my daughter is listening as I’m talking to her she tells me she doesn’t care about me or my daughters​:rage: That she only cares about her daughters kids. My heart was so broken when my daughter heard her say that​:pleading_face: Right then and there both my girls understood why I was totally fed up with my mother inlaw!! We all band together against her!! 10years later she is more quieter and more nicer :thinking:
We kill her with kindness. I no longer pay attention when she acts like an asshole, and if theres something I don’t like ( I speak up) I don’t let her walk all over us anymore. She respects us now.
Still can’t stand her at times, but she’s alright for the most part :roll_eyes:

This is normal if she is doing this say something as it your children that are missing out on recognition.

You can’t do anything about this. Try keeping her at a distance and don’t allow her to ruin your life. Your girls have their parents’ love and that’s what counts. Your husband thankfully seems to understand and is not taking her side against you. That is most important.


Sadly, you can’t force anyone to love and accept your daughter’s. Anyhow, here’s hoping this doesn’t backfire on you when the boy is old enough to state what he wants, IF you’re still a part of their lives.


Where are your parents and your mother! She doesn’t have to like them, it’s unfortunate but true. Stop inviting her as she enjoys not turning up and knowing she’s hurting you.


Don’t your daughters have a relationship with their paternal grandparents?


Hurt people hurt people… Thats probably just a miserable little person whose only source of purpose is causing u misery… Ignore her and she loses all this power she thinks she has…


Listen. You’ve tried to have a relationship with this woman for the past 11 years. Today is the day that you start treating her accordingly.


Don’t worry you and your girls be happy she sounds like a witch lol

1 Like

Stop associating… i fight so there my advice.

How can you not hate her when she behaves like that with your kids. But the hatred only burdens you and your children. Perhaps that is the satisfaction she feels. Dont let anyone have so much power over you or your children. Set boundaries of what happens in your home. If she wants to buy gifts for the boy then she should keep then at her house and nothing should come to your house unless it’s for all three children. If it keeps up it could build resentment between your girls and their brother and the girls may resent their dad for being treated in such a way by his mom. So I would suggest reducing even the time that the boy has with the grandmother and instead encouraging the siblings to spend more time together or spending time with their dad. Also protect your kids from her by discouraging her from visiting. If she insists on visiting then maybe take the kids out because she is likely to discriminate against them when they are all together thereby creating resentment. Just my advice.

Cut her out! why try please her?? do things for yrself n kids!(stop trying with her, she has a hate for u n if husband has not tryed to fix this(it’ll never happen)

This is extremely sad as your mother in-law is actually missing out so much with ignoring your girls . …
I am suggesting you actually ignore her behaviour & not give it another thought…hard I know but you will wear yourself in two with worry… As long as all the children feel loved protected and cherished by the adults who matter than her behaviour should be viewed as insignificant… And I would tell her that too hun…not in a nasty manner but as a matter of fact… Then her silly behaviour has no control or impact on your feelings or your girls… Don’t give her the power to make you or your girls insignificant… Use your behaviour to make her choices insignificant to you as a family unit :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:. And when she visits give her the BIGGEST smile you have as you hand her a drink…that will put her on the back foot
After all she is coming into your family unit and then leaves…you are there constantly with you & your husband’s children ,:heart_eyes:

I honestly wouldnt care. I’ve been around to many families with multiple kids and multiple fathers the families only ever pick up their own . Making to much out of this. You cant make people want to be bothered with your other kids. You need to stop.

1 Like

Just continued to show your children love and tell them hate is not the way to go just operate as if she doesn’t exist. And stop inviting her to your home, she hate herself. Keep praying for her and ask your children to pray for her too and move on with you all lives.

Lord I pray I’m never that kind of mother in law…

cut her off…if she doesnt do for all children then she doesnt need to be n their lives. plain selfish of her making ur poor babies have to go thru that


Never get along with inlaws and who cares we don’t need them :rofl::rofl:

I would just accept her from afar!:wink: Happily move on in peace, not have her interact with you or your child as she has expressed, she doesn’t want to​:cry:. That’s her loss, negative behavior to carry.
The only thing you can control is your reaction, be happy n joyous that someone so CRANKY :wink:, it’s around to suck the joy, happiness and positive out of you!
Don’t fret over her behavior. Let her puke her negative outlook on someone’s life! :grin:
Good luck to you and your family

If anyone treated my children like that, they would be out of mine and ALL my kids life. Life’s too short to put up with people like that.

I think most women hate their mother in law. You are fine.

Fuck that bye bye!
Been there done that!

1 Like

I’m in the same situation… we hate each other and that’s fine…we just stay away from each other and she doesn’t take any of my children now…cut her off

Normal is a setting on the dryer. Her loss.

1 Like

Jealousy is an ugly thing.

Don’t blame you. She seems like a hateful spiteful person

1 Like

Maybe the boys need to be the ones to say something, my eldest told his bio father when he was 5 that if he wasn’t going to send bday and Xmas gifts to his younger brother to not bother with him either because it was cruel (biologically both boys are his he just didn’t bother with the younger one) at 5 my son understood that, an adult sure as hell should

Had that go on ones , with my kids , I kicked her out my home and everytime she sent something for my son I sent it back after a few times record was set and see stopped sending anything then calls stopped within a year we never seen or heard from her again 28 years and counting .

Don’t let her in your life she is a selfish bitch. My daughter’s grandmother hates my kids from previous relationship. So now she sees no one and oh well. They are sisters and will always be that way. So its all of none. She made her Choice and now i made mine

Is it kind? No. Is it petty? Yes. Is it normal? No. But it is what it is. Show all the children love & explain to your daughters that some ppl just don’t have it in them to love & accept other ppl.

1 Like

I married to my husband for 24 years, My mother in law doesn’t like me with no reason, keep continue negatives about me, I was rare chatting with her, I always let her talking with her own son (my husband) about everything, it doesn’t bother me till have two kids and Mother in law told my kids “I dont like your Mom”. I refused let my children visit her or call her. She have no right tell my kids, I was very angrily inside of me. I dont want start it. Till my husband passed away… I dont necessary visit her or help her as long she is not happy with her own children… It’s not my problems… Now Mother in Law keep ask my children where is your mother.?? My Childress did not respond her… My children loves me more… Family in law having problems their own, Not mine.!!!:grin:

Having been the other child… I would stop the toxic act now. Part of what hurt most as a teen, was feeling no adult relatives were on my side. Have discussions with ur kids. I’m sure discussions were had, but I didn’t know about them. In my situation, thise relationships Disenegrated into nothing. Their loss. Focus on ur kids… The in laws need to grow up. In my child like eyes, those were my relatives too. As an adult, I understand.

I have kids that are not for the man that I am with and he have 2 kids… His family treat me and my kids as if we were there long time and is d same with my family and his kids… Our kids are brothers and sisters… so they have aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas…

I’d say fuck her then. My dad’s parents never came to any of my birthdays, never participated in anything in my life. I didn’t even call them grandma and grandpa, I called them by their names. I saw them maybe twice a year, and never got close to them It’s not your kids fault they’re not close, it’s hers.

You can’t change anyone I’d just be civil n try to deal with family get together best as possible;”( sad for her loss

Ma’am you need to stop inviting her to things with your children. But don’t hate her she is the one losing out in the long run. I hope that your parents are still involved with your children and doesn’t treat your stepson differently than their granddaughters. Just be kind and polite when you have to be around her. Believe me let your children know you should not hate anyone. There may be a day she will feel different it could be in her older age.

In a letter tell her she’s cut her off tell her she can’t have any of the grandkids now. Don’t invite her to anything don’t go to anything that she’s at. Or better yet have your kids tell her how much they hate her and why is a letter and send it.

Don’t invite her for ANYTHING. She deserves to not to be involved. You are the wife and you can make her last days very lonely by never visiting, calling, inviting or acknowledging.


It’s been the same for my “husband” and I. Been together 16 yrs and have not “officially” tied the knot, we’re considered common-law in Tx though. Either way, his kids every holiday Easter, Valentines, Presidents Day, Thanksgiving EVERY one!!! She’ll send a frkng card to his kids MINE, at the beginning when his dad was alive they would BOTH send all of them stuff. BUT now that his dad had passed away, she’s sent gifts for the “family” but not just for each kid like before. I’ve accepted my kids accepted and they just brush it off. Now my adopted parents will send B-day cards to MY kids but that’s because they haven’t met his kids​:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: my mom doesn’t fly and they live in Ca and we’ve lived in Tx since my kids were little. But my kids have always kept in touch and will reach out to grandparents in their own as adults now. When MIL calls she only speaks to him on the phone and just says “give Sylvia my love” but never ever really talks to me unless I answer his frkng phone :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

Omg.Let me talk to Mother in law.My oh my


Her loss, all kids make a family great :purple_heart:

1 Like

No gifts for ANY of the kids!!! Why dont u do ancestory cause it shows dna your husband and the girls… then just by chance connect her via fb… but cut her off completely before that. Jus a idea!!!

1 Like

I have a blended family. I have a daughter from a previous marriage. We have 2 boys together. My MIL started out that way. I sat her down, told her how it affected my daughter’s self esteem, she was 6. Now she’s really close to my daughter, she’s now 33. She treats them all equally. She knew I was serious. As for negative comments people have said. My daughter wasn’t in her bio dad’s life. She was in her grandparents life. When she would be with them, we always did something special with our boys. It’s the kids who are paying the price.

Stop inviting her to any family event…mostly stop stressing it’s his mother not yours let your husband go see her with his son …let it go life is far to short for crap like this


Shower her with loving ways that she doesn’t know about ? After all without her you will not have a husband . Open her hearts and eyes to see you and your daughters .

1 Like

Put your foot down. Don’t tolerate her.

1 Like

Don’t shower her with shit.

1 Like

The hell with that bitch


Totally normal. We should have a club, A child by procreation, adoption, or co parenting is still a child to be loved. If she can’t do that she shouldn’t be in the lives of any of the children.


I understand totally where you are coming from and my children.had hurt feelings and resentments as well. What is absolutely disgusting is you are expected to love and treat his children as your own but they separate your children from his and treat yours differently and not in subtle ways either. You can’t make anyone with that type of attitude a close family unit. It becomes toxic and you spend a lot of time trying to reassure your kids that they are cared about too. Better to just stay away and make it known that you won’t tolerate the division of family members any longer.

It is very normal to feel angry and upset and hurt because of the way your kids feel left out. You are a mom and moms are she bears. Be mean to your babies and shut is gonna hit the fan one way or another. A blended family has enough issues to resolve witho u t outside interference.

1 Like

Stop all contact. She’s toxic af!

1 Like

Go no contact.She doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with your children .Nasty woman.

You allowed this behavior wow really

Naturally she will bond moreso with her biological grandchildren. However, that is NO excuse to exclude ur girls. She knows this will drive a wedge between u and ur husband, therefore she is intentionally doing it to get u and her son to fight or break up. U have every right to protect u and ur children by cutting off contact with ur MIL. And unless and until ur husband takes drastic measures with his mother, she will never change. I would not give him an ultimatum, but make crystal clear (again) ur thoughts and feelings and stick to ur guns that u are done getting hurt and watching ur daughters get hurt too. Good luck. Been there, done that.

Run her ass off and tell her to go to hell

As a mother of boys I will be a mother in law…so I really need to hear her side of story…before I judge…

Lose all contact with the mother in law, If you’ve tried to talk to her and she still doesn’t change, then you need to understand she doesn’t respect you or your family. It’s healthier to cut ties. You and Your girls will be better off. :blush:

I have one just the same, 20 years later I have learnt and my children she simply doesn’t exist. She doesn’t get invited to anything and if my hubby has a family thing then we don’t go. I had years of fighting defending my girls loads of tears and the only way it could work was to stop acknowledging her. I saw her last year for the first days after my mum had died and she says to me, she dead is she, that makes you a orphan and laughed.

She must just be a mean ole lady

Ok ,so if The girls are both his and hers biologically then all three kids are theirs,right? So she is particular cause hes the BABY or does she not believe the girls are his? Has she ALWAYS did this?

I just don’t go around them. So do your own thing and keep it pushing you don’t need her validation to be with her son!

You are in mama bear mode…
For me kids do not have to be biological family to love but unfortunately not everyone thinks that way…you are never wrong for having feelings… explain to your girls…step away from MIL for awhile…she will probably never change… hasn’t in 11 years… especially since your little one was only 2 at the beginning…
She is definitely losing out to a wonderful relationship with the girls…