I don’t feel happy in my relationship anymore. We have two beautiful kids together, and he has always been so amazing to my previous marriage children. But for us, well, its slowly going downhill. We are supposed to be married in just three months. But I wanna leave altogether. We seem to be pulled way apart from each other, and it is not getting better. He is a good man. But I am done fighting over everything I bring up. I am always wrong. I don’t feel good enough for anything anymore, not a mom or a friend or a daughter, let alone being his wife. I don’t have a way out. I love him, but I’m unhappy now. Please. I need advice. What do I do?
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Dont do it…if your having doubts, dont do it!
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Go to counseling. See if you can work it out in a safe place. If not then leave.
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I would try out counseling. Read the five love languages together.
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Leave. You don’t have to do anything unless you want to. Have you tried communicating with him about how you feel ?
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Don’t get married. Leave.
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If in doubt…don’t. Hold off and think on such a commitment…I cried all the way down the isle…marriage didn’t last a year. I didn’t run when I needed to. I didn’t take time to understand my doubts. That was many moons ago and an adult child who was brainwashed against me as time passed.
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Postpone the wedding and go to counseling. If counseling doesn’t work, then don’t get married. Never settle!
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That’s something you need to sit down and discuss with your significant other. You cannot keep those kind of feelings bottled up because ‘there is no way out’ … because there is. & you shouldn’t wait until it really is too late. If you’re having those feelings maybe he is too & even if he isn’t - it still needs to be addressed. I wish you and your family the best 
keep your head up.
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I won’t say end it but don’t get married if there is any doubt.
If your feeling like this. Call it off. You deserve happy and so does the kids
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Talk to him… Maybe he feels the same way. I don’t believe you should stay with someone because there are kids involved, but since there are kids, counseling might be a good way to go, and postpone the wedding… At least try to fix it before you give up, and if you can’t fix it, then hey. You tried your hardest. Good luck, I hope you find your happiness.
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Sounds like you might be having some personal issues, as well as relationship issues. Go to counseling, individually and with your fiance.
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At least postpone the wedding until you have time to try work it out or leave
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not supposed to have doubt in your mind walking down the aisle. or u will regret it so dont do it. your gut is your answer. if u feel like all of this wont matter in a couple of years dont do it and leave.
Do not marry him in this situation.
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Don’t do it. Life is short
Don’t marry someone you aren’t happy with, don’t get married.
Do not get married!! I had the same thoughts and did it anyway and now I’m divorced with a narcissistic co-parent to deal with, and most of the debt from our marriage. Do not do it if you have a single second thought. Try counseling or talking to him or just start putting $ aside to get out. But whatever you do…DO NOT GET MARRIED! Escaping becomes even harder when you’re legally strapped to him.
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Don’t settle for less then what ur worth! Don’t do it for the kids ! Don’t want ur kids to grow up seeing u unhappy just to have them in same house w there dad I been i ur shoes and I finally left and happier then I been in a while. And my kids are happy to
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Get out now!! I wish I would have gone with my gut
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i’m sorry, but marriage is hard enough when you’re all in. if you’re not, don’t do it
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Pack up and get out now! If you get married and still feel the same way, can you afford a divorce then?
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Hesitant in anyway. For the moment, I’d say postpone the wedding. Take time to see how you really feel
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Read 5 love languages
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Couples counseling and after see if u still unhappy then walk away
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I feel like talking to him about how you’re feeling is necessary one. And two have you thought about counciling because it doesnt sound like the relationship is the only thing that has you down. You cant love anyone else until you fully love yourself.
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If you aren’t sure then wait.
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Do not get. Married!!! It’s going to only get worse. In 3 months be as far a way as possible
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Dont…follow your gut
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Be honest with yourself and him.
Dont get married thats for damn sure
If he is constantly telling you are wrong, putting you down, it is only going to get worse. Look up narcissist, from what you describe it may be that and there is NO cure for that. Get out of the relationship fast and don’t look back. My daughter is going thru this also.
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Try to postpone and work through your feelings and concerns in counseling. Perhaps you have some fears, self esteem issues, etc that you can work through so you can be happy with yourself and your relationship. Or it can help you sort out your feelings and support you as you move on. It can’t hurt.
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Take a weekend…life is tough…rekindle…make time for you guys as a couple…
Then dont do it if its purgatory now it will be hell after .its only going to be worse .save your self the trouble .avoid a nasty divorce
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Marriage is not always the answer. Talk to him. Maybe he also feel the same and just had to go with the flow.
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DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!
Be honest w urself and follow your heart!! Life is too precious and too short to waste time pretending. Pull up those big girl panties and think about the message u r sending ur kids. Run to the light girl!!!
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Please don’t get married u will regret that u did
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Everyone hits rough patches, talk things out, if you can’t come to a mutual understanding then break it off
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Dnt do it if ur not 100% sure. Postpone it or call the relationship off if u feel its not working out
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Its time to step back n tell him - we dont need to get married right now or maybe never. She sounds really exhausted and done.
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Maybe try counseling?
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I agree with postponing and getting counseling. Figure out what the underlying issues are and where to go from there. If he truly loves you and wants to marry you, he’ll do what it takes to save the relationship, fix the problems and become a partner instead of a critic and vice versa. Good luck.
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That’s your self telling you not to do it. Trust your instincts. Walk away.
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Dont get married. Try couples counseling and work on yourselves before taking that giant step.
If you’re questioning, dont do it.
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Do not get married if u feel that way
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Don’t ever get married if you have any doubts
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I don’t have any good advice except if you are thinking about leaving DONT GET MARRIED. Work this out internally before you get married. You both deserve better.
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Seriously dont take anyone’s advice on this, everyone will tell you what you “should” do therapy or couples work will actually help you figure that out
Don’t get married while you feel that way ,Get help if you feel you need it
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This is so sad. It’s not fair to him to marry him if you are feeling this way.
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Get help, don’t get married if there is doubt
Do what u feel. If it doesnt sit well with you. Why waste ur energy on that. Youll regret it later on. Get some counseling before because then to deal with a divorce and everything split in half crap is annoying.
You have issues
Unresolved issues
You’ve been married before now about to get married again then again…
Call it off
Get yourself together otherwise you will be divorced before a year is up
Stop playing games and pretend with this man
TELL HIM. NOT US
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Sounds like you might be going through a depression? I’d put it off til you’re for sure that you want this. Good luck
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Think long and hard…
Maybe some time apart will help and then suggest going to therapy together. And whatever you do…DON’T worry what others will think if you cancel the date. You need time. Best of luck to you.
If you are feeling this way don’t get married.
Do NOT get married! Go with your gut! Walk away!
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Seek marriage counseling it’s helps to have an outside perspective to help with communication
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Sounds like if you are ungrateful…But for sure you don’t love him. So don’t get married. I feel sorry for the children.Why have children with a man that you don’t love . Children pay for our mistakes.
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Girl. HIT THE PAUSE BUTTON! don’t get married just yet. See if y’all can work this out… if not, then don’t get married. You don’t want to START a marriage on the wrong foot, it’ll end in divorce. And that’s not good for you or him or the kids. Take a time out to figure out what’s wrong, and go from there.
If he doesn’t help you feel great about yourself you need to re-evaluate.
Sounds like emotional abuse, after marriage he’ll think he “owns” you and it will just get worse. Y pi u don’t want your kids to see you being treated like that. I would not. Prayers you will be strong enough to get free.
Do not get married if for any reason u are asking your self all the question u are my answer to u is are u ready to put it on the line for this person if you cannot please donot get married wait until u are ready thats when u know u love this person best wishes to u
Don’t get married talk to him maybe he’ll understand or not just talk
Couples therapy and wait on getting married…
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Called off the marriage.
Maybe push the date back and ask him to work on the relationship with you. If he is not willing to then he probably isn’t the one.
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Talk to HIM Then follow your instincts
Don’t do it till yu are sure. You say you are not valued in your interactions. That,s not good. Either you communicate or marriage is doomed. Go to a counselor and find out how or why there is not communication and don’t make it permanent until you have it. It’s not to find out whose at fault. But you are getting married not being sold.
Read your story as if it was someone else’s story. What would you say to them ? You will find your answer.
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Leave when he’s occupied up
Do not get married if you are not IN love and can not live without him.
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Do not get into the marriage unless you are 120% into it. Marriage is more than 50-50. He has to be willing to step up to be at your side just like you have to when the tough gets going. You owe it to yourself, to him and your children to take a step back and really evaluate your lives together and how it all meshes into one family unit. When you have that nagging feeling in the back of your head, and a sick feeling in your gut, pay attention to it while you are single. There are plenty of ways to help yourself and your kids if you don’t get married.
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If you have to question it, you aren’t ready. Some of the statements you made make me think you should be evaluated for depression as well. Maybe he isn’t “the one”, or maybe you’re feeling you’re not good enough. But you’re mental health needs to be a priority regardless if you marry him or not. I would most definitely put the wedding on hold, at least for now. You need to be beyond certain! I wish you the best of luck, and hope whatever decision you make leaves you fulfilled!
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Please do NOT get married, it will not solve your problems
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Looks like you cant make up your mind. We cant do it for you.
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Someone once told me…if you can wake up tomorrow and never see your fiance again. Never talk to him on the phone, never hear his voice, never ever see him, will you be okay with that? When I first met my (now) husband, someone told me this. I broke down crying and said, o my gosh no. I couldn’t imagine one second without him. If you answer yes, maybe you shouldn’t be with him. Just my 2 cents
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You already know the answer to this. You’re just seeking confirmation of what you already know: he is not the man for you; you aren’t happy with him; you’re staying only because it’s difficult to leave, and being comfortable means you don’t have to step outside of your comfort zone. Ask yourself if you’d be happier with him in 5 years or if you’d feel the same way you feel now, or even worse. Generally these things don’t improve after getting married. If you’re crazy about him, madly in love, and can’t imagine living without him, only then should you proceed with marriage.
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Take it from a fool Don’t get MARRIED, if you are feeling this way don’t do it give it some more time then if you’re still feeling this way call it off altogether listen to your instincts. I felt this way but I went ahead and did it and I’ve paid for it for the past 11 years.
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There is always a way out! I wouldnt be getting married, saving the wedding $ to help separate & go your own ways b4 it’s too late! U have to think about the kids
Then don’t do it because you will resent him then hate him so just dont do it
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Give to the lord and talk to him also God has a plan for you
You need to talk to him and nothing else.
Best wishes & prayers.
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Go to marriage counseling.
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If there is any question whatsoever in your mind, bow out gracefully before it’s too late.
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talk it out with him, if he lives you he’ll try to see what it why your unhappy and try to change it. Don’t marry unless you you know you can be happy in the marrage. you could be experiencing deporession and don’t understand it. I have depression a d my soon to be husband tries his best to make me laugh or to just smile when he sees me down. if in the end, after talking, seeing a doc, and your still unappy, maybe marrage isn’t for you two.
Good luck and hang on there mama
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Maybe you can try and see someone like a counselor or your Pastor, but as Bill stated, bow out for now. Give yourself time to make sure you make the right decision.
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Go with your gut feelings … but I believe you already know that. Takes courage to do this but if you are unhappy with the idea of marrying don’t go through with it.
Leave. Plain and simple.
You love him,but not in love with him,call it off trust me it won’t work
Sit and discuss the situation is either it make or break don’t make sense under present situation
Well I can only say it would be more difficult if you married him and then had to get a divorce if you’re thinking this way I would say you have to walk away before you marry him and asked the lady up above said think about it if you think you could never see him or speak to him again and you’re okay with that then walk away but after you ask yourself those questions and the answer is no I don’t think so then you’re just having jitters and because you have already had one divorce that might make things seem a little bit different
Counseling more help
I guess I am a hard butt. You already have 2 kids with him. You have had plenty of time to think this through. You are already living like a married couple. A piece of marriage paper isn’t going to change a darn thing. Marry the guy. He is not violent or a threat to your shared children. Sounds like he loves you. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. If you can’t be proud to say the words “I love you forever” in front of God and your family. There is your answer. You just wanted the kids and not the commitment. Tough words from an old guy. Your going to do what you want anyways. Don’t talk to strangers about this… talk to your family who know you both. They would know better then us.
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For one thing , I wouldn’t get married if u deal that way. What I would do is wait. U don’t want to live that way.
Do not marry him. It is so much harder to get a divorce then it is to end it when you are not married. Cancel the wedding for now and see how things go.
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