Definitely pot luck and what about a potluck picnic in a park? I see families do it all the time
I don’t know about every holidays but if you live close to a Walmart or United on Christmas and Thanksgiving they will actually cook everything for you you just tell him how many people are going to be there and how much food you need to pay for it and they will have it all ready for you.
Sounds like ur dad and ur moms side of the family need to suck it up
No disrespect here hunny tell them how u feel. And they need to get over it, family is a blessing u love them all
I’m sure it isn’t easy on anyone and ur mom is gone but I’m sure she wouldn’t let them act all this foolish either
My mom passed away January 27 2020 my dad passed away December 11 2020
Keep ur head up hun
Share with your dad how you feel . He may understand and consider you. I do agree it’s not the time for grudges. Bring and share works nicely . I enjoy being with family as well during the holidays. Let the past stay in the past. Do what is right for yourself and children . All the best
1 Like
You seem to have a hero/ martyr complex. Do potluck, everyone bring a dish. 
Spend time with your family instead of cooking while everyone are enjoying themselves.
2 Likes
Just tell everyone to fuck off
8 Likes
Just order olive garden and shut up about it. Someone needs a smack from their husband.
9 Likes
I have no relationship with my extended family due to the behaviors of my parents. If your cousins are willing to be around, aren’t the ones that actually did something wrong, and are being respectful and courteous than dad needs to get over it and join in or sit out. Trust me, there is likely a lot more going on on his side than you know and his isolationism is a him problem not anything to do with the cousins and that’s not okay.
2 Likes
If you enjoy hosting and having everyone together but not cooking everything then just tell your family members “hey I’m making this but I need people to bring sides/desserts”.
2 Likes
You will never appease everyone. Invite your cousins and if your dad chooses not to be apart of it, that’s his loss. Also we.also have a very large family and my grandma called everyone coming and asked what they were bringing. She always supplied the ham and someone else made a ham, or turkey and she baked pies and appetizers. But everyone contributed something. That’s not unreasonable.
4 Likes
First you are allowed to set rules! With the invite make it clear that you are cooking for one day for everybody only. They will either keep their issues to themselves or they can stay home. Just because your mom tolerated the issues doesn’t mean you have to.
Second you can always celebrate on a different day with the rest of the family and spend the holiday with your dad and brother.
Third you don’t have to bounce from house to house. Choose one a year only. Cook for your family and enjoy them.
Fourth cook and prepare for a week before all gathering. It reduces the stress immensely.
Final you don’t have to be your mom. You can make different chooses. Do what makes you happy. Not what others want.
1 Like
Just do you and let everyone else do what they want. It sounds like you’re trying to make people happy that don’t really care too much about this. You’re stressing yourself out for no reason.
2 Likes
Tell them. It’s your turn.
Host it at your house and whoever comes, comes. Make the few main dishes that would make you and your dad happy, and if someone else wants something different, they can bring it. Forget everyone else.
1 Like
We always feel like we have to but we don’t. I love cooking for everyone so I always did it but today is the first time I’m not. And your mom was never responsible for those dinners…she wanted to. I’m guessing you all should have offered to help her more(she may have been feeling the same way you do now) Because if she didnt do it, the family may never have gotten together as often.
We’re having hamburgers and caesar salad and I’m not even sad about not having a big cooked dinner or a mess to clean up afterwards.
Happy Easter everyone 
My woman left me for another man 3 months ago and ever since then my life has been filled with pain, sorrow and heart break because she was my first love whom i have spent my entire life with. A friend of mine told me he saw some testimonies of a spell caster called Dr GORVO that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, he contacted the great spell caster on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after 3 days my woman called me for the very first time after three months that she is missing me and that she is so sorry for every thing she made me went through, she came back to me and now we are happy together. I still can’t believe it, because it’s highly unbelievable. Thank you Dr, gorvo for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great spell caster you can contact him via WhatsApp on +2349152133808 or via email on drgorvo@gmail. com
Coming from a split family myself, holidays have always been 3 to 5 events in 2 days time. Go out to eat with your dad and have a dinner for the family. Everyone asked to bring at least one dish
Make it known that holiday(s) are exhausting just in itself, insist that from now one y’all start a new family tradition, and that everyone chip in to provide their favorite dishes to share. It is extremely overwhelming when one feels that much pressure to produce a family holiday meal again, & again, & again. I truly understand your feelings, and you are 110% entitled to that feeling. Change the circle, and relieve yourself from all of the pressure. You may find out some family members will not show up, and those are the one’s who absolutely do not deserve your hospitality. Standing up for yourself it amazing… You can do it.
1 Like
My family never got along and those who got along hosted separate events which people who got along with everyone went to both so on holidays we’d have a dinner the day before or week before with one side and then another on said holiday or the day or so after it helped ease the tension and pressure on everyone maybe that can be an option
1 Like
I’m not really sure what your asking here. Are you upset cause you cook everything? Or is it the family dynamic? Personally, I would host one, and invite everyone. It sounds like your dad is the one that needs to do some changing not you. Your cousins will help you cook, and all the kids can play together. Why miss out on all of that simply for one that cannot adult for only a day. Mabe sit him down and have a heart to heart first. Tell him how important it is to you that you all are together for holidays if nothing else. Explain its not the cooking, and you’d have help. But you don’t want you or your kids to miss out with the rest of your family for something you have no part in and from the past. Its up to him to choose whether he comes or not and you’ll have to accept that. Either that or continue to miss out with everyone else. At worst just do a little thing with him another time. But if literally everyone else is fine, I’d host one and send an invite to everyone. Holidays are a time to gather with family, bond, and create good memories. You shouldn’t be stressing so much for someone else’s choices.
My girl and dad so simple
And you will love plus get to enjoy every one
Let every one know you will be catering the affair and the cost per person.they must send the the fee to be able to come. Or pot luck.
A list the bring what choose.
Cater 8.00 per person simple you want to enjoy every one they should be happy to agree.
On my step dad’s side of the family at christmas everybody brings something to pass but we have contests with it. It must be something you’ve never made, you can do more than one category; we hand out prizes, the person that wins overall gets the plaque for a year and puts their name and their dish on a sheet that’s in the frame and at the next christmas they bring it back and it starts over. At easter whoever hosts makes everything and we all take turns every year.
If they come to your house then they should be courteous to ALL you’ve invited and respectful of you.
Stop cooking for everyone!
Have each person/ household make a dish to bring such as potatoes, carrots, turnip, stuffing, dessert. I may get some that don’t like what I’m going to say but oh well. If someone doesn’t bring their dish they can get their food last so as to make sure the ones who brought their requested dish can get their plates full of what they want first. Or take turns on where to have the family dinners so that it’s not always the same person doing the meal and forking out their money to feed everyone. Not saying to not have family gathering at your house but only sometimes