My neighbor’s daughter is almost five and still in diapers. We recently moved in, so we just met them. My three-year-old daughter likes to talk to her through the privacy fence. The thing is, she seems pretty normal other than being very overweight. She talks, although she engages in behavior, I would not allow my daughter to take part in. (She plays very rough) I thought maybe the diaper was because she needed one, who am I to judge. Then that all changed when I had to knock on their front door for something one day. Their porch was littered with tons of cigarette butts and beer cans all over the porch and ground. Their house reeked from the front lawn. There are several large dogs they breed that is usually left outside in the back yard. I know the dad works on cars for a living, and I am trying so hard not to judge the mess. We live right across the street from a park in a very nice neighborhood, and their home is the only one to look like this. I can see their TV from my kitchen window, and it is on cartoons 24/7. I have never seen it turn off. The child is also not involved in any school or program, and the dad blames it on her not being potty trained. My husband and I have sat on our deck at night and just listened to these blood-curdling screams from their house, I have no idea why, and my daughter screams and throws fits that sound just awful sometimes so I have never judged a screaming kid. Now that you have a little bit of back story: is it wrong that I am contemplating reporting them? Or just having someone go check on that little girl and her older brothers? I just want to know she is ok.
You could call in a welfare check maybe? Say your concerned for their safety, but unsure if whatbyour hearing is an upset child or someone doing something wrong to the child
You are a mother yourself. If you’ve seen this-report it.
Sounds like this girl is being neglected. And she needs to go to a loving family!
So you’re not wrong!
No harm in making sure the children are ok.
A welfare check is never a bad idea, I’ve done it before
Dont never second guess yourself when it comes to a childs protection or safety. Something could b really wrong and u just saved that little girl. Do NOT feel guilty for making sure
Honestly you don’t know if she had medical issues or anything. And just because cartoons are on doesn’t mean they are actually watching them. And some people are just messy, as long as the kids are fine I don’t see an issue with it. And some kids are just late on potty training. I wouldn’t report unless you really think there’s something wrong, but it’s really none of your business
A 5 year old should be potty trained and if not the parents should be working hard to do what needs to be done to teach and develop those habits
do a welfare check-
one outcome is that you’ve assumed wrong, another outcome being you potentially saved a child(ren) from a bad environment; whatever it may be, i’m sure calling for a welfare check will help you sleep better at night!
Call and have them do a welfare check please!
U could walk over there and get to know them
The little girl could have a mental illness or something of that sort as well and that may be the reason for the diapers and odd behavior.
But I also don’t think that calling in a welfare check would be a bad idea. At least then the authorities can check into the well-being of the child.
I would definitely report that
My rule. If it’s not neglect or abuse you’ve witnessed first hand… mind your own business!
Just call for a wellfair check.
Something is off try talking to them see if they are ignorant and lack of a family to help them but sounds not good thanks for caring
You can be anonymous when you call in for a welfare check… doesnt mean the parents wouldn’t then be completely on their guard and start blaming anyone and everyone but at least they would never be told who it actually was unless you told them.
At least do a welfare check just to make sure and maybe they can help the family out they don’t want to take kids and they can help family’s that are struggling maybe they need some extra help
I think it’s extremely valid. If everything checks out ok, that’s great, but if something bad were to happen and you didn’t report them, you’d feel so guilty for forever. I say YES, please do!
For someone who says “who am I to judge” but calls a 5 yr old extremely over weight and JUDGING because shes still in diapers, baffles me. Do you know if she has a medical condition? Who gives a shit if their tv is on cartoons all the time. Sounds to me like you’re looking for any reason to bash these people. Instead of judging them, have you asked them if they need any help? Try being a friend to them and not judge judy. Good lord.
Also a five year old should most certainly be in pre-K or kindergarten. So unless they homeschool…
And if she has a mental delay that would explain the diaper. But if she’s got lazy parents, that could also be the case. Please just call…
Call and ask them to check on the kids. You would never forgive yourself if something bad happens and you haven’t called.
If it feels off to you that’s your instincts telling you to do something.
You should report it. If something is going on then they child needs help.
Does the child have special needs? My soon to be 5 year old still is not potty trained and screams. He has austim.
Yes please do maybe they need some help x
Never overreacting when you do a wellness check. Especially since a young child is involved. I’d go ahead and call the Humane Society for a wellness check on the dogs as well
A child welfare check just might be in order.
Call in anonymously for a wellfare check
i would report it…it sounds like she isnt taken care of properly
Cannot make a call from here. Don’t ask strangers who haven’t even seen the situation. Make your own judgement call.
I would call. If it’s nothing, then no harm, no fowl. If something is going on, now the authorities have been alerted and hopefully they do something
Your a mom and I am to if you feel some type of way call, we live in a crazy world ppl are bad and hurt kids especially parents …I would call or go over there that child cant help herself be that help …?
My daughter was in diapers at five she played rough and cartoons were always in at your house (she went to school though ). She has Autism and developmental delays. She isn’t neglected she just takes longer to catch on and doesn’t handle changes easily. I’m sure people would assume she was neglected because looking at her you wouldn’t be able to tell she is t perfectly normal. She looks it on the outside if she isn’t stemming. I’d say go get to know the family. Don’t jump to conclusions. And also some people are just messier then others.
Better to report than have it on your conscious
From a mama with a couple sensory kiddos that needed different help plz dont judge that however if your gut is telling you that child is in danger plz have CPS do a wellness check…
Is lousy parenting a crime?
I would say yes. Just to relieve your mind
Not being potty trained doesn’t make you legally exempt from putting a child in school. She might be put into a special education room because of it but she still legally has to go. I would make an anonymous report to DCS. You’d regret it if something happens and you didn’t at least try to do something. Maybe animal control also if you think the pets are not being well cared for. Many states now have laws about leaving dogs outside for long periods of time in cold (or hot) temperature, inclement weather, without access to adequate water/shade/shelter/etc.
No there is nothing wrong with you asking for a welfare check at all.
Report report report!
That child is not being raised only tolorated and if she isn’t potty trained by 3 its a problem that means parent’s aren’t doing what they suppose to be doing that kid should be pottg trained in a clean home and school by now!
I’d deff call for a wellness check
There isn’t anything wrong with a wellness check! Just make sure that they can’t find out who reported them!!!
My neighbors might think some of these things about me. My five-year-old is in diapers, sometime she plays outside in her pool on my deck with her diaper on. She has autism. If the dogs bark or something upsets her, the screams would probably sound like somebody was brutalizing her. I’m sure they wonder about all of these things… So I put them out to some sticker on my car and hope that instead of calling the cops or CPS said they would come talk to me if they are worried. I’m glad you’re looking out for the child, but this is hard to judge whether it’s a special-needs situation or a negligent one. I would find an excuse to go over and talk to them for a few minutes and catch a vibe for how they treat the kid and what the house is like, if I could.
If you have a gut feeling that the kids are not being taken care of then you dont need anybody’s opinions do what you feel is best. You might really help them babies.
You never know their situation, and for all you know the little one has a disability. Before trying to ruin someone’s life I would go next door and talk to the parent.
Call if your heart tells you to but parents these days ant good parents they let there kids get by with murder and never correct them for any thing that 5 yr old should be out of diapers for sure
Someone should check on the kids
It’s not wrong to be concerned about a child’s well being. And given some of what you said your concerns are valid enough and its better to be safe than sorry.
But you should know a few things:
Just because you don’t think there aren’t any development issues doesn’t mean there aren’t any.
They’re often “invisible” to anyone who doesn’t know exactly what they’re looking for.
Please do. Is there a mother involved at all? There could be drugs, abuse who knows what!
Call but be weary of the backlash
By all means, help this little girl
I want to say- messy house does not equate abuse! And most of all, there could really be something else going on that you don’t know of and doesnt mean it’s bad parenting, just a rough patch.
And like the other said, if you haven’t witnessed abuse, why fix it if it ain’t broken.
Also me, empty beer can is not okay. Sure, I drink but don’t leave empty containers for numerous and obvious reasons. I have a messy house sometimes but it’s functional.
But, above all the above I want to say, call! If its nothing, it’s nothing. But if they need help, maybe this is their time to recieve it? This is certainly a tricky situation but maybe you should be a neighbor first and offer a helping hand without overstepping.
I say talk to them you’ll know what to do from there
Do not involve DHS unless you are certain that the babe is neglected or abused. DHS can destroy a “perfect” family let alone a family that just needs guidence. Most of DHS workers have zero experience with children.
Call cps. That’s not normal and it sounds like theres neglect
Maybe u should offer help n not get in there business. Maybe make friends n offer tips on pitty training to the mother n say things like me as Mother i know how hard it can be so i thought id give some tips! Its not wrong to be concerned but dhr is sometimes crooked n that child might be taken away. If u see signs of physical abuse then yeah id call but its tough for me to say…
Why don’t you get to know these people? You just moved there so its really early to become “that nosy neighbor” go introduce yourself, bring cookies and get to know them. You can’t judge a book by its cover, tour making outside assumptions and have zero facts. How would you feel if this were you and you had neighbors judging you based on outside appearances and assumptions. Reporting any parent for minor things is horrible, destroying a family this close to Christmas as well. Cps is for serious things not petty “not how I’d do it” things.
Call. The kid safety might be involved. CPS DOES NOT DISCLOSE ANYONE THAT CALLS THEM IN THIS TYPE OF SITUATION. . FOLLOW YOUR CONCERN/INSTINCT
Better to check and make a call you never know that kid may need help x
Hold UP there Nosey Rosey, you THINK you Need to have someone do a welfare check, well Let’s see, you stated YOURSELF they live across the street(in a nice neighborhood) the child is over weight ( SO OBVIOUSLY Being fed) the TV is ALWAYS on (so they have electricity)and the beer cans and cigarette butts are OUTSIDE and NOT ILLEGAL and as the behavior you speak of is quite normal to play rough if she has a Big brother, furthermore her being in a Diaper IS NON OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! Sounds to me like somebody needs to Stay on thier side of the sidewalk…
Maybe just call for a welfare check. That can’t hurt anything and if there is a problem then im sure it will be seen. But you don’t know their situation. Nothing you said alone says for sure the child is being neglected. It’s easy to judge from the outside when you may not know all the facts. A welfare check can’t hurt but other than that you need to let them be. And it’s not illegal for a child to not be in school until it’s kindergarten
When in doubt, check it out. It never hurts to do a welfare check. It could be nothing, and let’s hope it is. If not, then you know you did the right thing.
It’s better to call and they find nothing out of the way than to not call and those kids suffer. If the thought of “Should I report this?” ever comes up- yes. The answer is always yes!
I’d definitely report it. You can remain anonymous so no backlash. Sad but it sounds like you’re the only person in this little girls life that sees a problem with any of this😞. This is definitely a cps case though.
You say she plays rough. She has all brothers? My guess is that’s why. Lol.
Try talking to mom before making the report. Maybe the girl is autistic.
The dog issue, see if there is a certain number of dog’s one can have in your area, before needing a kennel license.
Ask for the smell & front porch health department should be able to do something since its outside.
Reporting abuse or neglect is completely different than asking for a well check . I would call … Even if you do it anonymously . Sure people have a point to not judge BUT you never know … There are stories every day of situations like this and some one doesn’t get to them soon enough and horrible things happen . If nothing is a concern and nothing comes out of it then good and you’ll feel much better knowing so . Mom instinct is no joke some times and you can never be too careful .
I think I would just call and have them do a welfare check. It may be a situation where things have gotten out of hand and the family just needs the help, guidance, and resources but don’t know where to start. A call like that wont always guarantee the kids are taken away. I think its better to be safe than sorry.
You haven’t yet shame on you the first screams you heard you should have called the police shame on you
Welcome to Pennsylvania!
What does weight have to do with anything??
Call I did and yes it opened a whole can of worms … But babygirl was sent to her aunt that never gave up on her . Call!!
Have you mentioned this to any of the other neighbors maybe they know something
Well child check up …I would call it in and let the authorities handle it
My youngest had the roughest time potty training. He was still having accidents at 5. But he was in school and not in diapers. We had a “hygiene plan” with the school. For him to use the bathroom every so often even if he said he didn’t have to go. And the nurse had a change of clothes for him incase of accidents. It was because he has a small bladder and can’t hold his bladder and sometimes doesn’t know he has to go until it is to late and he really has to go lol he’s 8 and this last summer is the first summer he stopped having any accident. But I had to get a doctor’s note for the school so they let him go to the bathroom any time he says he has to go and I hadto remind him to go still. Few times he’ll have 1 on the bus cause he will forget to go before getting on it. But when he wouldn’t potty train, I took him to the doctor. Thinking something was wrong. And after 4 I refused to put him in pull ups besides night time because that just told him it was okay. These parents seem like They’re not trying.
Call for a welfare check instead of just calling and reporting abuse.
Tell them you’ve seen/heard things at/from the house and want to make sure the child is okay.
See something, hear something, say something. I would rather be wrong, and everything turn out okay than to not say anything and something devastating happen. It may open the doors for some resources they don’t know about either…
No you are not wrong you should report them. God only knows what’s happening to that little girl.
Definitely report, be that child’s voice!!
Do a welfare check. Have police show up. They are mandated reporters. But, as a social worker, I’d say report it regardless. Could be considered neglect. 180025abuse is the number, at least in illinois. Report it. If nothing’s wrong, they will consider it unfounded and close the case. Some tend to be on the side of keeping families intact. My personal philosophy is childs safety is #1.
well fare check and the police handle from there
As the parent of an autistic child who is eight years old and still in diapers, it’s really hard to judge. My cousins 15-year-old son still has to wear diapers because of his seizures. Diapers do not mean neglect sometimes diapers mean the child isn’t mentally ready… I know there is concern, maybe am mom some questions? Maybe bring up your concerns as a friend??? I know I get judged so much by people who have no idea how to handle disabled children, my kids look normal, but in fact 2 of my 4 have a mental disorder… my 12 yr old is extremely adhd… he was in diapers longer than necessary because his brain just couldn’t grasp I need to stop and potty, it took years of training
As a child, some nosy person called cps on my mother. It traumatized me very badly as I thought we were all going to jail for no reason 🤷 I think a lot of people call out of self importance and not really out of benefit for the child/ren involved.
Btw, my son wasn’t potty trained until right before he started school because he is autistic 🤷
Maybe uhm…just talk to them instead of assuming shit and possibly traumatizing a child for no good reason.
I would definitely call. You never know what’s happening across the street. I wouldn’t listen to anyone. Do what you think is best!
Anonymous welfare check
Why not have a giant family dinner? Tell the parents that the kids always talk through the fence and invite them over. Actually get to know them first, before making judgements and calling people.
Call… better to be safe than sorry if there is screaming all the time
I’d absolutely report them.
You do need to call the authorities to check on this; sounds very dangerous as well as very negligent. Child Protective Services needs to get involved!
You need to speak up and say something. This little girl sounds neglected at the very least. This isn’t okay and something should be done.
Most of that is irrelevant info and IS judgey. Cartoons and diapers have nothing to do with neglect. The child could have a medical condition.
As far as the smell…depends what it smells like. You said he works on cars, so is it from that or the animals? And who was screaming? How about inviting them to dinner and finding out more about them before reporting them. If the child has a disability, she could be having a meltdown which could explain her screams as well as the diapers and being over weight if she only eats certain foods.
Now if there is CLEARLY screams of terror (mom yelling "help! Please stop) then jeez call the police but kids scream…a lot
I would report it, reporting doesn’t automatically mean they’ll take the kid away, usually they’ll offer resources that can help the parents. It sounds like the kids are being raised by the father from what you just said.
Just have them do an anonymous welfare check. It will only open a can of worms if they see problems. If your concerned it’s the best thing to do
I’d call and request a welfare check on the child for sure. You can remain anonymous when you call.
I’m a teacher. My rule of thumb on doing a hotline call is if I question myself on it I need to call, I always call. Trust your gut
Well , now that you’ve posted about it I’d just stay out of their business . These days they might visit you with a ball bat while you’re sleeping or worse . It just takes on person commenting on here that’s friends with them for them to see this post . Social media might get you pointed out .
I would say report and do a welfare check…but at the same time, police brutality exists everywhere. Very close to us an unarmed woman was shot inside her home through a window by a police officer.
This is so hard.
It definitely seems like there is more going on with this little girl and that she needs a voice, but at the same time, I’d hate for nothing to be wrong and end up in a situation with a fatality.
If you’ve got the audacity to judge, find the balls to ask?! Jeez.
Not your monkey, not your circus.
If you’re that concerned, speak up. It’s literally not that hard.
And this is where the term nosey neighbor comes from.
Yes. Call. Save that poor baby.
You can have your local police do a child well check if you truly think shes in danger in any way. I feel the situation may be worse than what I’m reading if you felt it important enough to ask