I am thinking of reporting my neighbors: Thoughts?

Judt do it…no regrets

Wow, you keep saying that you don’t want to judge or you’re not trying to judge them and that is EXACTLY what you’re doing. :woman_facepalming:t4:

  1. You said the little girl seems normal but she is VERY overweight. Well that tells me that she is fed.
  2. She talks but she engages in behavior that YOU wouldn’t allow your daughter to take part in. She plays rough. Okay, and?
  3. They have cigarette butts and beer cans all over their porch.
    Then you go on about the dogs and their house smelling and so on and so forth. Your talking about them breeding dogs and blah, blah, blah. TBH I think you’re just nosy AF and don’t like your messy neighbors. :woman_shrugging:t4: You can see their TV from your kitchen window and their child isn’t involved in any after school activities, WTF does that have to do with you? Personally from what you wrote, it sounds like you are a nosy busy body. I could see if you said the little girl was always filthy, hungry, and you saw bruises than I would be like yeah, check it out. But all I got from this is that you live near nasty, messy people that you don’t like and you don’t approve of the way they are raising their kid. Do you really think this child is being abused or do you just hate living next to nasty people? FYI you’re really just upset about the condition of their home and yard, there’s probably a number that you can call for that. Maybe they are breaking some type of ordinances but you seem like a busy girl. I’m sure you can find all of that out.
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I would have already called.

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I work for cps. Make the call. Let social services determine if it meets your state laws to open an investigation. Reporters can remain anonymous.

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It doesn’t hurt to have them do a welfare check on them. You can do it Anonymously. Better safe than sorry.

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If the child is talking to your child that must not be nothing wrong but remember whatever you do it’s a situation is bad and you have the police go check on her and something happens if they take her away they might retaliate on you you would have to use your own judgment good luck

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My cousin’s little girl has something wrong with her where she pees on herself involuntarily. She has to be taken to the hospital quite frequently. Sometimes they cath her. She doesn’t wear diapers but I don’t judge people whose kids still wear diapers because you never know.

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You should definitely call!!! The child should be in school, potty trained etc. If they are caring for their child they will have nothing to worry about. It’s better to do something now before that childs life is ruined

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Having a friend who is going through issues with CPS because someone thought there was a problem, I’m going with: Mind your business. If you aren’t going to take the time to get to know them and actually find out if there is a problem, leave them alone. You don’t know if there is an actual problem and calling could cause unnecessary heartache for the family.

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She may be autistic. Their living environment is their business.
I know a woman who had child services called on her every week for nearly a year because instead of sleeping her autistic child screamed for hour on end at night.
They ended up having to move because the neighbors refused to understand.
That would explain the tv, the diapers and if the parents are exhausted from just surviving it also explains the mess.

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As the diaper thing. I wouldn’t be cornered with but the screaming and all I would. My oldest is about to be five in February. He wears pull ups at night n sometimes during the day but he don’t use it. He goes to the bathroom. But he wears it because his two younger brothers are in diapers. They are 2&1 which I been trying to potty train them the 2 years old does good but they one year old don’t want to at all. Potty training is hard. But if they are screaming and all I call for a welfare check. Because that’s mental abuse to me. But as the mess is it all trash or toys because my house is always a mess from toys. If it’s trash I say call because that’s awful.

I say welfare check. You might be wrong and the little girl is fine after the check, that’s a great news. Or they might find neglect and abuse and you gave her hope for a better life. Great news. This is not judging. She is looking out. I rather put it into action than just than thinking and judging. It’s better to act on it and find the result right away than just thinking and let it go.

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Welfare check nothing wrong with that

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Damn you nosey. Mind your own fkng business sometimes. Get a hobby, worry bout your TV and family. Geez. Can’t stand a nosey neighbor.

Mind your own. The child could have delays or something wrong for why she isnt potty trained. Maybe ask the mom if they need a hand or suggest something that your kid does that she might want her kid do to. There are gentle ways to be helpful without calling CPS on people … if she seems completely horrible… make your judgement based on knowing them on a personal level. Not what you see. Since you are already being judgey you’re not seeing the little things and just seeing it as a whole…

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Unless the child is in actual danger or is being neglected it’s really none of your business. My son was a liver failure and a failure to thrive. Some nosey bitch called CFS and claimed that I was “failing to feed my son” CFS tried to apprehend him while we were in the hospital and the drs had to take a stand for me. Because if ignorance and judgement I almost lost my son while I was fighting to keep him alive. You don’t know the situation. You live near them just keep an eye out but this sounds judgemental and like the child may not even be in harms way. Call if you want, I would caution you to think very very hard and be absolutely certain before you uproot someone’s life because that little girl may be the only thing they have worth fighting for.

I’d say call if your worried that much and as a person who’s had them called on me before I don’t say this lightly but if your have real concerns for this kid I say do it

I would, sounds like neglect and laziness on the parents part plus if they live in filth that’s not healthy for theckids

If the girl has a legit reason she’s hard to potty train, that’s not a reason to keep her form school.

Here you can delay start school I believe it’s age 7!

But nothing wrong with having a welfare check done.

Wow you seem to know a lot about this family for a person that just moved in. You seem nosy af and should probably mind your own business. You have no right to tell people how to live or how to bring up “their child” get off your high horse and mind your own business. CPS takes children and ask questions later, and youre willing to do that to a family because you have a feeling? :rage:

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Please do not call on them. Sounds to me like they’re just uneducated people with poor parenting skills. That does not make them BAD parents and calling and getting dcs or any agency involved could just end up destroying their family. Maybe they’re trashy but you should either get to know them better and offer well placed advice or ignore them.

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I think you should do a lot more research before you turn the lives of this family upside down. Talk to other neighbors, see if their household has previous police reports, call CPS and talk about the conditions WITHOUT giving private/personal information.

Don’t rely on your own untrained judgement only, before tearing up these people’s lives. CPS is NOT an organization that’s necessarily makes the lives of children better, just like the police is not a necessarily protective organization.

If you really cared, you’d do some reserach first. Calling the police/CPS as a first response is dangerous.

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I would say 100% welfare check, if there’s something serious going on then they can help, if there’s nothing going on and the child has issues etc then social will know it was just a concerned person trying to check everything was ok. The mum might need help, they might need some support and have none so a welfare check would do good in the sense they can either receive support or at least just check that everything is ok x

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Unfortunately, we are conditioned to believe calling CPS is an indication that the children will be removed from home in the event a concern is expressed .
And as a parent the thought of a child being taken away CAN be very frightening…
But we must put subconscious fears away… and proceed in faith.
Give CPS services a call, and express your GENUINE concern. Remember that anything you say CAN and WILL be used against them.
So again, call and hope for the best! Any child in possible danger can always use the help.
Blessings :sparkles:

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It makes me sad to see all the comments saying “mind your business” because how many children could we have saved from years of abuse, death, rape for years on end if we “hadn’t minded our own business”. If something doesnt seem right, make the call. Better to be safe than sorry. Dont scare someone into not calling, you could be the only voice that child has. Also some parents may have had a rough upbringing, so they dont know how to take care of a home, or child, CPS could help teach them that and give the child a better life.

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They wont say who made a report. Never feel bad for caring about another’s wellbeing. On another note, children who are overweight sometimes have difficulty potty training. I’m sure there are other factors, keep your eyes open.

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Youve just moved in. Do you think everyone else in the neighbourhood would ignore it.
They barely know you so maybe they don’t feel like they owe you an explanation.
You know an awful lot about these people’s daily routine

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Report it. CPS will determine if there is enough of a reason to be worried for the kids

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Make the call - you are a concerned parent for a child that lives next door - it may be nothing and that would be great but it could be something and they may already have a case open with CPS. If you don’t feel comfortable right now just continue to watch the child the best you can to see if bruises or any real characteristics stand out. I do know some gr.parents that one of their gr.kids is 5 and still in diapers and is over-weight but he is in the austism spectrum but he does attend special ed school - that was the one thing that stood out for me while reading this is that she didn’t seem to go to school. Good luck on your decision.

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If you don’t want to call welfare on them cause of the risks, then I’d call the police and explain the situation and ask them to do a well being check to make sure all is well

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Get to know th family more…maybe you will find out a reason behind behaviors…
offer help…you never know what a kind word or gesture can bring. DO NOT MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS if you know for a fact that there is sime type of abuse or neglect…thats how these poor babies die…don’t assume or jump to conclusions…

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I’d say go over there and talk to them a couple times before calling. Maybe there’s something you could do to help instead of judging. If after getting to know them you think something is wrong then it’s your duty to call and protect the child. It’s not the child’s fault the house is a mess

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Involving the government is verrrrry scary and risky. Fro someone’s who has had to make that tough choice before PLEASE dig a little deeper bc once DHS gets involved it gets crazy. The government doesn’t care about that child as much as you might think or want mama!

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I say call. Their living situation may be their business, however, it could be neglect. Too many news reportings of kids found in unsanitary living situations covered in fleas, animal urine, etc. Doesn’t always mean physical abuse, but neglect is just as bad. Calling may lead to some helpful programs. I hate it when people say “mind your own” then the next breath “why didn’t anyone help that child and speak up?” when it’s on the news about deplorable conditions and neglect. Smh. Not to mention possible dog breeding could be animal abuse/neglect as well.

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I’d want to be safe than sorry. I’d rather the situation to be checked on rather than having a child’s life being in danger. If they are good parents and want the best for their child then they should understand

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A lot of issues here. As a parent / grandparent I’ve never seen a child who would not potty train by this age. Living in stench and filth is so unhealthy. Call. You could find it has at least gets them help they are desperate for

I think you need to either involve yourself correctly or don’t involve yourself at all. Going to cps before seeing if there is an underlying issue is wrong. Talk to the mom. Cps isn’t always there to help. There are a couple of thingss in here that there could be very good reasons for. 5 for school. Mine couldn’t start until 6 and yes you couldn’t start unless your potty trained. Screaming maybe the child has some sort of disorder and is struggling maybe the parents are struggling. Maybe this mom just needs a little support.

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All my children was not potty trained untill 5 but they hand heath promble and my younger one is not and 4 you never know about the heath of the child it’s not yours and if they are not getting and all my children did not start school untill they were 5 years old head start they doint have to go to and preschool they doint have to

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I would definitely get someone to go check on the kids to see how they’re doing.

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I implore you to knock on the door and attempt a conversation, and see what unfolds. CPS is an overworked and underpaid organization. As adults and parents we are fully capable of doing a welfare check ourselves, or several, before calling on them and by doing that you are creating a more efficient system and letting a child know there is someone nearby they can trust and able to report accurate information or realize there isn’t much to report at all. It has nothing to do with you specifically, but as a society we are incredibly unfair to each other as parents and neighbors. Be the change.

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Ask if they need any help.

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A well check is fine but I would get to know the parents a bit more, my daughter is autistic and she screams bloody murder when she can’t get her shoe on… hell all of our kids scream bloody murder for next to nothing, we don’t beat them either :joy::joy: honestly though it is exhausting being a parent of a child with special needs sometimes my house is a disaster but the only smell is our chickens and duck :joy: cartoons are on all the time but that’s just background noise, kids don’t even watch it half the time​:joy: but seriously… I’d get to know them a bit more, maybe less judgement. I’m just speaking from experience. Although my daughter is 5 and potty trained, social, and has been in school since 4.

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Call police and have them do a welfare check. Then they will decide from there what needs to be done. If you do nothing… and something bad does happen. You will feel guilty. Please call

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If the child is not being abused neglected or real reason to get CPS involved why in the hell would you do you know how much damage these people do to people’s lives I have never had involvement with them my kids are grown and my granddaughter is 18 but I’ve seen plenty of people have their kids taken away for no legitimate reason so why not offer to help and see what you can do to help them if you want to be get involved in their business I believe you want to help but you’re going about it the wrong way please think twice about what are you doing you could cause a damage that is not necessary unless you truly see Somethin stay on your own porch

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I’d definitely make that call.

I would definitely call. Stay anonymous, what’s concerns me most is the night time crying! Is she locked in a room alone? Or could out be abuse?

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Unless u have witnessed them abusing the child, mind your own business! Involving CPS should be last resort. If your that concerned, how about getting to know the parents more…

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Being a person that works in a school district it is your job to protect children that don’t have a voice whether it’s something medical or just plain neglect if you feel something’s not right definitely definitely definitely look into it weather is calling Child Protective Services or just having the police stop and do a welfare check

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I would call them in in a heart beat. That little girl needs help.

So we had CPS called on us because someone from my kids church thought we were pulling out my daughter’s hair (she has alopecia) The worker came by, told us what the report was and we explained to them the situation, showing them her paperwork from the doctor, signed releases saying we did agree to let them contact the Dr about this yada yada yada. I was/wasn’t upset. I understood why someone would call but upset why no one asked us in the first places. Or even asked my daughter ( who was nine at the time and could tell you why)

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If you have concerns for any child you as an adult have a duty of care to safe guard them… perhaps offer to take their children to the park? Suss the situation if you are still very concerned then by all means report them.

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Offer help first or butt off, reporting doesn’t always help kids, not all kids end up in a better situation.

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Ehhh… if you have not see any marks on this child you cannot assume abuse because the child screams. Children scream.

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Because of the filth… yes… the diapers… no… my autistic son was over 6 before he could grasp consistently using the potty… and still needs prompts when engrossed in donating else. Also still needs hygiene help. So don’t judge too quick with that. As for the filth, no excuse.

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I would go into the police Dept talk to someone tell them your concerns and let them handle it. If CPS needs to be called let police Dept call

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Also, my son was in school from the time he turned 3… potty training had no bearing on that.

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Just ask them if they need help with potty training. Make it an open ended conversation. My niece is still in diapers at age 5 but she is autistic. You never know what the reasoning is.

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Any doubts about welfare of a child go with your gut instinct. Too many kids fall through the cracks

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You need to call. Now.

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I would speak the the parents as I have two child with autism on cant really talk and all she does is scream and cartoons are always on plus my house gets trashed every single day by 3 year old and my son wont potty trained to I say less judge in

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going to be honest it’s a fine line. I would be upset and concerned also because that’s not how I live, but the law is different. Just because she is still in diapers and isn’t in a formal School setting doesn’t mean she’s being abused and neglected. Sure maybe it’s not how most of us would parent and it could be there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her other than lazy parents but is it enough where the law would say it’s considered neglect? It’s hard to say. I would call just for peace of mind because if the front is littered with beer cans and cigarette butts and there’s a horrible smell who knows what condition the home is in and they can remove children if the home is in horrible disarray. I mean there could be feces everywhere and trash and no food and that would be enough for them to do something. As for the screaming again that’s hard to prove because maybe she has issues that caused her to scream. I know I have a neighbor and their daughter is probably 6 or 7 years old and sometimes at night you can hear her screaming but she’s autistic and I’ve seen the mother interact with her and she is a darn good mom and she is even told some of the neighbors about her daughter and it’s just something that occurs but it doesn’t mean she’s being abused. I’ve never once seen the mom raised her voice or hand to her daughter and I don’t know how she does it because they’ll be times out of nowhere the daughter will just have screaming fits outside even. Honestly there’s no harm in making a phone call because I know if I had a feeling about something I couldn’t in good conscience not do anything for fear that I’m preventing a child from getting help

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Ask for a welfare check to be done on the little girl. Leave the rest to child protective services or law enforcement. You can make an anonymous call to child protective services.

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So glad I don’t live next to you…

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Definitely tell someone you could be saving her life a sad lonely life

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I worked as a therapist for 4 years to teens who had been abused or neglected. REPORT it. Then it is child services job to investigate it.

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I’m always going to say this. Never get involved unless you for 100 percent know for sure something is going on. Instead of reporting go and see for yourself how the living situations are before making a decision like that. Again you said you didn’t know their story. Your just judging by the cover.

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To Many, DON’T WANT TO GET INVOLVED… Call CPS now. Better to be safe,then watch as the childs body is removed. Its called a WELFARE CHECK… As for why your daughter has been having blood curdling screams. Ask.

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I would say mind your own business, every family lives different lives-if they get mad may burn your house down

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Unless you see actual abuse, butt out. You just met these people and don’t know anything about them or their life. You said the littlest babe is a little chubby so she’s clearly fed. Cigarettes, beer and cartoons does not make a bad parent.

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It’s hard to say really. My daughter is special needs. She is 5 and not fully potty trained. She is underweight because of an all liquid/puree diet. She goes to therapy but it can take years to resolve her kind of issues. I have spongebob on for my daughter alot. Our tv is on all night because I sleep with a fan and tv. It’s just my habit. I homeschool my daughter because she’s nonverbal and I don’t trust others when my child can’t tell me what’s being done to her or around her. My daughter screams when I cut her nails. When I wash her hair. When her friends over to play. Kids yell. They get rambunctious. Aside from the filth/odor, you’ve described my life and I’m honestly just a special needs mom trying to raise my girl to be a kind and smart human being. At the end of the day you have to do what makes you able to sleep at night. If you feel it’s the right thing to do, then do it.

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autism can cause children to be in pull ups or diapers way longer than usual

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Call in a welfare check. Better safe than sorry.

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Butt out. U are judging them from the outside of the house. Everything u are saying is accusations bc u haven’t witnessed anything wrong other then beer cans and cigg butts. From the way u worded stuff I think u just think ur better then them. U know cause the dad fixes cars for a living. Move on Karen.

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Unless you have proof that something is going on do not report. People reporting without evidence is why our system is broken. Mind your own business.

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Hi, my husband is a police officer and it isn’t uncommon at all for someone to call in a wellfare check! Always better to be safe than sorry, you can remain anonymous as well! :blush:

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If your gut and conscience is saying call you call. If those kids or someone needs help that’s the only way someone may check on them and do what needs to be done. It’s supposed to be anonymous and you have done something.

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Call for a welfare check. Authorities are to keep concerned party anonymous.

Just call for a wellness check.
If it’s nothing, CPS just call it a day. If its something, then something gets done.

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If you came to my house at bed time you would hear three babys screaming💁 maybe me too lol… as for the filth, have you seen inside the house? Before i was married i was s ingle mother and my yeard and car were always trashed from kids, but i kept my house clean, i also had a few dogs, and they didnt help much with the trash in my yard… dont forget people get drepressed and let things go, just because someone is having a hard time doesnt make them a bad parent, maybe they just need some help, and all cps is gonna do is make things more stressful… unless you can see clear signs of abuse i just wouldnt call, maybe befriend them and offer help

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Bottom line. If the kid isn’t being harmed or neglected then mind turn business. Too many kids are taken away for stupid things for the states to get a bigger check and these kids end up in the system after being taken out of a home where things may nit be perfect but they were loved and cared for.

She could have a medical condition, you have no idea. You really don’t know anything besides their house is a mess, she wears a diaper, and is well fed.

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I would maybe do a wellness check call on this one. Yes. It’s none of your business BUT if it is noticed by you and the child isn’t in school at 5… I’d be worried too.

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Ask to have the daughter over for a play date

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Someone should check

Please call cps theres to many kids being neglected and dying bc no one wanted to judge please you have a right to be concerned and u could save a life if you ever doubt a childs safety dont worry about judging until u know they r safe

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How many other neighbors have noticed it and decided to “mind their own business” then when something does happen they are on the news " i always suspected something was wrong" if you’re genuinely concerned then call.

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Sounds like you need to mind your own business. Judging is Exactly what you are doing

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I would call about the dogs! If she’s 5 and not potty trained then maybe there’s a reason. Talk to the mom. People aren’t capable of that anymote. Just go talk to the mom and see what is up or call cops for a wellness check but definitely call on the dogs

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If you have concerns you should phone them - if there is nothing to be concerned about there wont be an issue. She could have autism as these symptoms are similar to my sons or it could be neglect, sounds like they all need professional support.

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Lord have mercy. Have you ever thought maybe their daughter has autism and doesn’t engage in what you consider normal behavior because your child is not the same??? Oh, the yard has cigarette butts in it, well climb down off your damn telescope pedestal and go offer to help since obviously you seem like the type to help somebody instead of judging them…oh wait.

Good grief just call welfare on them already. That setup sounds super dodgy

Sounds like she needs help

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Welfare check for sure

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My son who is almost 7 has a few disabilities that you cant see unless you spend a lot of time with him. He is day potty trained. He has not had an accident since he was potty trained at 4. He still needs pull ups for night. There are schools who take kids without being potty trained because a lot of kids with disabilities have a hard time with potty training. With everything else like the dog breeding, and the mess 100% of the time, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted someone to at least check on that little girl. Having a child with disabilities (if that’s the reason) is very trying at times. It makes it easier when you have support around you.

Maybe get to know them and see somehow you can help out before going to the extreme. That way if you do need evidence you have it.

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But why are you calling? Im confused…cause the house is a mess or cause your judging someone from the outside? Maybe call for a wellness check but they will state who sent them or offer to start having the kid over and take care of that kid the way u see fit. But a the potty training thing. U dont know what they are going threw. Maybe she is having issues. Maybe she really cant go to kinder in diapers still (it is a thing) i say go talk to them yourself and see if they need help and make a judgment call after speaking to the mother. Maybe they have fallin on hard times and CPS wont make that any better.

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Go speak to the mother first. See if she needs help. So many mother’s get overwhelmed, end up depressed and feel they can’t reach out to anyone. Show her you are there for her. Maybe all she needs is a support system.

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Coming to your own conclusions with the facts that you see isn’t the same as judging. She says over and over again that she’s not judging, but you never know. There are a specific type of parents called “good enough parents” (per family services training) but you don’t know if that’s the case here. I think a welfare check would be a good idea. Or call the animal svcs and let them come check on the dogs, then maybe they’ll call someone if they’re needed? Either way, I think it’s a good idea to have someone check.

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For those people saying “mind your own business” think about all of the children being abused and murdered nowadays… she mentioned there’s beer cans all over the porch too and could explain A LOT if the parents drink that much… Better to be safe than sorry.

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Wow mind your own damn business.

My son is 5 in half and just got out of pull ups, he screams like someone is beating him daily,he has horrible meltdowns,he looks “normal” but he is actually autistic and in some states children have til 6 to start school, oh and my tv is on cartoons all day.

Not one thing on your list will provoke anything but judgment on you. It’s their lives, if you don’t like it, don’t look

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