I am thinking of taking my ex for child support: Advice?

Was he homeless when you hooked up? ?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am thinking of taking my ex for child support: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

He’s clearly struggling with demons … not everybody can just be ok despite having a kid. And jail is a terribly abusive and neglectful place. If he’s in and out then he’s dealing with a lot of trauma that is internalizing itself. I’d leave him alone and hope he heals enough to be a good person in your daughter’s life.

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They will set an order based on what he is physically capable of making, not what he actually makes. But good luck getting them to enforce it.

Pick better baby dad.

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Against the law for him to claim her on taxes you need to file with irs that she is your dependant so you will get the credits they are giving out. They will still give him a minimum to pay without a job. That’s not your problem. He is a grown man

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Here in Alabama even if they don’t have a job you can go through DHR and they will provide you with TANF and then go after him for those funds. Good luck… Those situations are never easy. But you absolutely deserve to get whatever help from him you can.

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No, he’s not responsible for himself so how will he be responsible for CS? All you’re going to do is give him visitation rights, and jail time for not paying. Just leave it out of the courts hands. You’ll probably need to get a job to support yourself and your child. Possibly relocate to a job that hires disabled folks, I know Disney 100% hires disabled folks if you’re close to a park.

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Definitely file for support. He may or may not pay but one day it will catch up to him. All my kids are now grown and I get pretty regular payments which are taken out if his check and I get his tax returns. I live in Indiana and support and visitation are separate matters. Search for your local Title IIIV D office they can help you file for free or a small fee. Ours is free now used to be $25 29 years ago.

Don’t go after him. Stay away

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If he claims her on taxes you can still file taxes you just have to personally mail your taxes into the IRS which any tax platform gives you the option at the end right before filing. We had to do this two years in a row. They did audit us but as long as you have nothing to hide you will still get what’s yours but he won’t. As far as child support every state has a minimum that will build up to back child support but as long as they pay x amount which in some states is like 5$ every three months it won’t affect them. But if there ever was a settlement he got they would take part of it and give it to you… but he does financially have liability to that child. Most judges won’t even let you divorce without a child support order unless both parents are financially stable… but my state is different than yours too so hopefully you get the help you need. You may be able to file for assistance through your state also and they will go after him for child support. Good luck I’m sorry this is happening to you. Also don’t let these people make you feel bad… you didn’t put him in the car or get him addicted to alcohol. Do what’s best for you and your child. You are not responsible for what happens to him.

Sounds to me you just need to be rid of him. Homeless and no job. You won’t get any more then you are now. Unless you can afford an attorney, you’ll have standard visitations set in place. You can’t withhold the child because he’s not paying. It sounds like you’re both better off without him. Trust me, when your child gets older, he’ll have to answer to his daughter. As for now, take care of you and your child. That’s all that matters.

Georgia as well. My ex gets 1100 a week and doesn’t pay nothing. He’s currently in jail and still getting his 1100 a week. His attorney says he doesn’t have a income and he’s not paying. Good luck is all I can say.

Would you consider having him drop his parental rights? If he ie not a part of her life and does want to help with her then it might be a good idea.

You can file her on taxes and if he does, you both will have to show school records and such. You would get the $$$ and the IRS will go after him to get any $$ they paid him.
CS is a division of the IRS so whether he leaves the state or works anywhere, they will find him.
Don’t let his threats and bs bully you into not filing. In fact, go to CS and ask them all of this. They will tell you the truth, not him. Opening a cs case has nothing to do with visitation or custody. And most states require you to open a case to get any assistance. Which you might need now or in the future.

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May not have gone directly to your daughter in the form of toys and clothes but I’m sure it helped pay for things the two of you needed to survive! I’d take that part out tho. Doesn’t sound the best. My sons dad is required to pay $641 a month because he works as a journeyman millwright and he has seen him maybe 10 times in the 2 1/2 years he’s been Alive. He discarded me when I found out I was pregnant. He has no custody. CS does not automatically ensure visitation rights. That has to be fought for. Look into it.

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I wouldn’t bother with it. Id also report his tax fraud.

If he’s living out of his car and can’t provide for himself how do you expect him to pay CS? Let it go, move on and raise your child

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If he has no involvement with your kids I wouldn’t push it. In Texas visitation is set at the standard Dad gets 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend and every other holiday. To have it different you’re going to need to appear in front of a judge. It’s not ideal, and visitation is separate from support. You can’t withhold the child if he’s not paying. There isn’t a good answer to this, each situation is personal and different.

I get SSI for both of my boy’s, and I still work! I also get $500 a month for child support! He doesn’t have any contact with my kid’s. But does pay. And, if he sent you money to your cash app, why didn’t that go to your daughter?? We still need to provide for our children, no matter what the situation is with the father! Because that’s what mother’s do. If he’s homeless, then you probably won’t get anything anyway. There’s no address for him to get any paperwork. I’m not one to go for child support just because I need or want more money. I support 3 kid’s on my own! Have for year’s now. And the child support I get, does go for my children!

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Some states may jail someone for not paying But I feel your out of luck if he’s a Bum. At least with filing a child support case He will not get any tax refunds. They will come to you.

You can’t get blood from a stone. The guy is homeless with no job. He is basically a sperm donor. These things happen move on and raise your children NOT TO BE LIKE HIM.

When she says directly i believe she means it went towards bills which does in fact go towards her daughter. I dont think she meant she used it as play money for herself. Just worded it wrong.

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So if the money isn’t going to your kids, which it should, where’s it going?

I will be a parent an say what were you thinking when you got pregnant by this bum? Now ask for child support

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He sent you 2k but it didn’t go toward your daughter? How would child support help then if the average of $83 a month he’s been sending isn’t going toward her?

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You dont deserve child support if it’s not going to your daughter. Shame on you for that. He is homeless, so you won’t get much. Nor should you. Support goes to the child. You clearly stated that 2k didn’t go to your child. Judge should tell you a hard no. You can’t keep your child from the father even if no support is paid. That’s illegal and you can get in trouble for it. But, him not having his own place, they will not allow the child to stay with him til he has a home. It’s also not against the law for him to claim the child on taxes because there is no set order. So it’s who claims her first. Get an order so he can’t. But I hope the judge denies you support since you don’t use it for your child. Get a job and don’t depend on anyone.

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IMO, if he’s already struggling then why bother?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am thinking of taking my ex for child support: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

UM… I think you should absolutely file for Child Support. He is this child’s father and it sounds like he is not contributing to raising her in any way. Once you file, the state will handle it and you do not have to be involved with him whatsoever, neither does your daughter. He is legally obligated to support her financially. He will not always be living in his car. 2k is nothing compared to the cost of raising a child, both physically and financially. I was in a similar situation. Please file for support for your daughter.

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I believe you should get the minimum allotted for child …any monies that isn’t given through the courts is considered a “gift”.In my opinion he has a responsibility and he needs to step up to the plate.

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It’s his responsibility but be ready for alot of headaches. Maybe easier to wait and keep him away. Sorry you and your daughter have to endure this

Give the guy a break ffs.

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File for support, and let the state chase him. You may not get much, but any money he makes above the table, the state(no matter where he moves to) will find it. Also, they will garnish his tax return if he tries claiming her for exemption $$$ again. He sounds like a real winner.:roll_eyes:

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A couple different things… 1. file for child support. 2. No matter what state he lives in, as long as he works as a w-2 employee companies have to file a new hire report which gives notice to all states regarding his employment. 3. State taxes and refunds can be looked at for back child support in some instances. 4. Ignore people that aren’t supportive of you, the situation sucks but it can get better.

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You’re opening up a can of worms by putting him on Child Support. You know he doesn’t have any money, so what’s the point? He’s just going to end up in a worse situation, possibly in jail. Not only that but he can ask for joint custody if you guys end up in court. I suggest, if he is as bad as you say he is, you let him move out of state and take care of your daughter. It sucks but sometimes it’s the best thing to do for your child.

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2 grand in 2 years from someone who is living in his car, I’d count yourself lucky, I never got 2 grand over 21 years :see_no_evil:

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So sister is kinda in a similar situation… sperm donor is a crack head and alcoholic. Doesn’t work, couch surfs etc… he tries everything to get my sister in Tribble with the law, which he can’t cause she’s not doing anything wrong… he was paying child support when they were together, and when he was receiving unemployment last yr… you call file, but won’t get anything… visitation is what they are actually fighting for and they even told him he didn’t have to pay cs if he agreed to that visitation with the other person (tell me why I just forgot that word? :woman_facepalming:) … but he declined it… he’s just trying to make my sister’s life hell

He should absolutely pay child support. Even if he can’t right now, he’ll owe it. (At least that’s how it is in Ohio). My “dad” moved out of state when we were young and changed his name to try to get out of paying. My mom was still getting small checks when we were in our late 20s because he was so far behind.
Ignore the people who want you to pity him and cut him more slack, well maybe he should make better choices. You both played equal roles creating your daughter.
And ignore the people saying “choose a better father next time” "use birth control ". What’s done is done. Move forward.

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Y’all taking up for this man like he didn’t choose to be a deadbeat. It’s not her problem he couldn’t adult and take care of himself and his child

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He’s literally living in his car, atleast wait until he is stable

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Personally I think your starting a battle for nothing because if he is living out of his car and is an active alcoholic he can’t give what he doesn’t have. If you go to court they will put him on child support but you will still be in the same situation as you are now. If your up for the battle go for it but it won’t end well at this point and time unfortunately.

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If he’s living out of his car what money can he give you? Would you want money off him if he can’t put her first? If he’s an alcohol you need to stay away, keep bringing her up the right way. Unless you can help him get back on track. If not then forget him.

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Just put yourself in his shoes sleeping and living out of his car, how would you feel him coming looking for money?

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Choose a better father next time! What are you expecting to get from someone who has nothing?

If he’s living out his car an has gave you 2k already but you want more. I see that a bit crazy you want him on the streets??
Just keep doing the great job your doing an you will reap the rewards when your daughters old enough to show her appreciation. He doesn’t sound like a man I’d want around my daughter

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Are women suddenly in a place where birth control is not an option???
I’m sick of hearing these stories.

STOP GIVING BROKE DUDES BABIES THAT THEY CANT FEED!!!

Real talk sis!!! YOU CHOSE THIS BUM! You saw it all as it was. Now you want help?

You can’t get water from
a stone.

Suck it up and figure it out.

Alone.

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Well now you’ll have shared custody once he’s stable.
And you could’ve contested the tax years, but you’ll have every other year tax refund instead of every year.
He’ll now get certain holidays, over nights, weekends, at least half of summer break, spring break, etc.
Honestly I wouldn’t have gotten the courts involved if he’s at least doing something. $2,000 in 2 years is more than some do in a lifetime.
But good luck

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I’ve been through this yrs ago and my daughter just recently went through this in GA. He will have to pay child support regardless of having a job or skipping town. They will contact him to come in. He may request a DNA test. They based his on his pay from his previous job.
Don’t feel bad for wanting to go this route. My daughter tried to let him just pay her directly and they came up with an amount but he never followed through. Going through the courts ensure that you get it or it has serious consequences. Taking driver’s license, jail time, & taking income tax.

So he’s jobless and homeless but still sends you money that you barely spend on your child but you want to take him for child support? If neither of you work how are taxes being filed and how are either of you eligible for a child tax credit? If you’re on disability then file for her to get a check since she lives with you. But I think dragging a man through the dirt when he’s trying to pay you with his limited resources is wrong. It’s not his fault you only spent a small amount of that money on the child.

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When I went through something similar, DFS automatically went after CS because my son was on state Medicaid (this was 9 years ago in MO). This did not give him any visitation rights nor did he want any. He never paid, until they stepped in and took his taxes. He signed over his rights when my husband wanted to adopt our son 5 years ago. He still had to pay back CS. I think it all depends on your state and their laws. Do research on it is the best advice I can give you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

If he ain’t working how can he file taxes

he shouldn’t be claiming her on taxes at all. and he can’t contest child support. there’s a minimum payment he’s responsible for even with no job. in nc its $50.

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Alcoholic, in and out of jail! Hmmm this looks like a me problem…You didn’t know any of this before you decided to rut?