I am tired of parenting and need advice

My kids dad has never helped with them… Hasn’t had a job since the day they were born… Eleven years later and he now has a job and is pissed about finally being put on child support since he now has a job… Only problem is I’m tired of parenting altogether… I’m stressed and burnt out and God forbid me sounding selfish but just want to go back to a time where I was only responsible for self… I want to give their dad full custody but deep down know I can’t because of his addiction and inability to provide for himself… I want to run away so badly… Idk if this was me asking advice really or just me needing someone who doesn’t know me personally to listen without opinion or judgment… Either way, thank you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am tired of parenting and need advice

You’re burnt out and need a break. Do you have anyone that can watch them for a week? Grandparents aunts friend anyone and just take time for yourself?

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Very selfish…Sorry just being honest

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You need a vacation, solo.

You aren’t selfish, your human. I wanted to give up and run away plenty of times.

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I am just going to say, if you love your kids you will regret signing away your rights to them because you never know what could happen.

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I am a single mother of 3 and I can honestly say you are burnt out. I have hit this stage and it is such a hard time as a mother. Your exhausted and feel like you can’t handle anymore. Get some therapy. That has helped me so so much. You need to find some time for you. But just giving them to their dad is going to put them through so much trauma and the damage in the long run could ruin them. Hugs momma

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Kids are a commitment

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Think we all want to run away at some point or another. Parenting is hard.

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Is this for real ? If you can’t handle it now you definitely won’t be able to handle teenage years. Wtf

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You’re burnt out . And obviously envious of him due to him not having to parent . I think sending them somewhere safe (not to someone with an addiction that can lead to neglect or hurt) for a weekend or even a week to have some you time you would be ok afterwards. You need a break.

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maybe you just need some you time find a baby sitter and have a day out or a night out its not wrong to fee la certin way what your on 24/7 find a sitter and have a getta way

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Best be seeking some counselling , don’t punish the kids because the donor is a deadbeat

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Is there someone who could take the kids for a day or two or maybe even a couple of hours for you to have time for yourself? You’re burned out and it’s fine to feel that way, hey I’m right there with you. You deserve time for yourself, but please do not give him full custody as his inability to provide for himself and his addiction are signs he isn’t stable to care for children.

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You need a break mama

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Just remember kids won’t be kids forever. I’m a mother of 4 and I have days where I cry and also want to run away but then again my kids keep me going. It’s normal to feel so stressed and over it when you are a single parent. In the end your kids will appreciate you and everything you do and did alone. Don’t give up on them clearly their dad wants nothing to do with them not even support them. It will get better

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Same girl! LOL we all are!

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That’s what being a mom is. People have kids and they don’t realize how hard it is. If you don’t want them anymore there are people that will love to be exhausted mom

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Is there a way u can get a week away to just rest and be u again. Have a massage . Catch a movie, sleep get pampering done i dont k ow. Maybe bring u back to life again

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You just need a vacation or break for a few days. When you get burnt out and overwhelmed that’s when those thoughts arise. Take a break, then see how you are

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My mom went on a " 2 week vaca" and came back 8 years later, don’t do that to your kids they need you.

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Talk to a doctor. You’re going to be fine

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Woooooow! I am a single mom of two and I’m also tired but I don’t want to run away. I’d never say I want to give my kids dad full custody. I’m with the First Lady that posted take a break. Find a friend or family member that would keep your kids for a week or two over the summer and get yourself together Lawd have mercy! Those children need you and they didn’t ask to be here. MOMMA up and get busy.

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Parents get burnt out all the time, spent my whole marriage being a single parent it’s exhausting, try to find some play groups or youth groups for your kids to attend, most churches have these for free for kids, also not sure where you are but around here we have what’s called a big brothers or big sisters program where you can get one for each kid and these people take your kid and do stuff or come to the house and you can get a break

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A lot of single mothers heck even mothers in committed relationships feel like that at least once🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s not easy but someone has to do it❤

I understand getting burnt out. All momma’s get overwhelmed and just want to run away at times. But when we chose to have children we also chose to put ourselves last. Your kids didn’t ask to be born. They ONLY have you! Kids aren’t material things that we can just get tired of. They’re human beings and need love and nurturing. Maybe ask a friend or relative if they can keep the kids one night. Just get away. Do some self care, cry it out in the shower,seek therapy break down and pick yourself back up. Do something for you. Your kids are depending on you.

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If he hasn’t been there for them before now why would you think it would be good for him to have full custody??

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If you dont get this under control it will be your kids tha suffer get into parenting classes, get some support and realize you get to pick your battles which is either being a tired momma or a lady who walked out on her kids, I’d never even consider the 2nd (I’ve been “rejected” by parents and honestly there is no fixing that level of selfish behaviors)

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What you lack is balance of being your own person and being a mother.

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I have a 6 year old and 7 month old and trust me I feel like running most days. I’m definitely tired of parenting at least 3 times a week. I love my babies soo much but I also miss just being responsible for myself and doing things I want daily. Dreams are free :sweat_smile:

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I love how 2 people that laughed at this are men. :roll_eyes:

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You need you time… and I went to therapy to learn how to cope w the way I was feeling
It’s a hard thing to admit and talk about and shame anyone that belittles your feelings

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A lot of moms feel this way and that’s alright. Maybe one of your family members like your parents or something can watch them for a month or two. Something you should watch out for is your children feeling unwanted by this, try to explain to them that you’re burnt out, parenting requires a village and you really need some time apart so you can be a better mom when you’re back.

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I think you need some counseling

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Depression and anxiety maybe? Talk to a therapist pls don’t give up on your kid. Maybe take a break even just a night alone… It’s gunna be okay.

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Sounds like youre burnt out. It’s ok to take some time to yourself. I myself am a mom of 2 and some days it seems impossible. Do you have any family to watch them for a few days. Take a vacation or hell just stay home and enjoy the quiet for a few days. If it’s really bad talk to your Dr. Maybe you need need some help.

Just know ur kids need u and u need to be there for them always

Does he have parents ei: their other grandparents ??

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Get a counselor, you have been the rock all this time, it’s always very hard to admit your not SuperWoman!!!

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I hope that you get some help

You cannot change him. He is obviously not a good parent. Consider counselling. All the best.

Find a babysitter and plan a day and see how you feel after. Maybe you just need a break. Those babies only know you. It’ll be devastating for them to be with someone they don’t know!
If you do decide to you need to make sure that they get to know him and see how he is with them.
I hope everything works out. I’m not a single mother but I am by myself for half a month working and doing everything on my own so I know it can be overwhelming.

People who are saying your being selfish are ignorant!
This is why there are parents out there who abandon their kids, drop them off at some fire station, end their lives, etc. Because mothers can’t be honest and say they can’t take it anymore without judgement from other *ssholes. Ignore them!
Get some time alone somehow whether it’s a baby sitter or locking yourself in your room. Ask dad to take them for a couple hours even… I take solo trips when I need them even if its just for an overnight at a hotel. Lol. Parenting is hard! I hope you get some time to yourself. I’m sorry your feeling this way.
Um and counseling ain’t gonna help babysit your kids so im not sure why ppl keep suggesting it…

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Motherhood is hard and as a mom of 7 i know what it feels to just want a little time to yourself . Take a breath , you got this as much as it is overwhelming right now we all go through it at some point some of us a little stronger than others . How about sending them to they grandparents for a little just to get a reboot or to someone that you trust to care for them a little . And maybe consider some concelling to help you have someone to soeak too

Sounds like you need a break…parenting is HARD and it’s a job in itself. Have friends or family keep the kids for a week and go do what YOU want.

You need a mom vacation. Try to plan on having one. You need to recharge

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Been there. The best thingni did was get support.

My kid is so thankful he didnt get stuck there.

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It’s ok to feel this way. Just do everything you can to not act on it. Seek therapy. Find a way to get time to yourself at least once a week. You’ve made it this far. You can do it, just need some help now.

Your kids only have you as their constant in their life. How would you feel if they said oh hey, I’m done living with you, I want to live with my dad full time? I am pretty sure it would cut you to the core. Take a deep breath and go do something for yourself. Stop all that crazy talk about giving him full custody. He doesn’t deserve it and neither do your kids. Good luck.

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You are not alone…# burnout is real…#carve some time out daily for you. Let your kiddo know. Maybe set a bedtime and tell the kiddo all your needs are met this is Mommy time. It’s ok…you’ll be ok. Now, if I’m reading this wrong and it is deeper. Get some counselor

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I had got broken down to the point you are now. But I, gave them to their father

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I get take a day or two just to yourself it’s hard parenting alone make time to have some alone time

Have you taken any time away from your kids? Maybe that would be beneficial. Even just a weekend to yourself to relax and reset.

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Definitely get a therapist and talk to your doctor. You probably don’t want to send your kids away you probably just need balance and a breather. 

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Have you had any therapy? Anxiety and depression can both lead to these kinds of feelings. Can you get away for the weekend? Get yourself a break. It’s hard, and parenting is even harder with metal illness

It’s easy for everyone on the outside looking in to say… OMG what a selfish woman she is… OMG those poor kids
… blah blah… but there’s a deeper issue here… You’re not tired of parenting, you’re tired of doing it alone I feel.

It’s evident that you love your children as you’ve been their rock and stability for 11 years. Be strong mama push through you got this.

We all get a bit overwhelmed at times . Take a break, reset and come back stronger. Your babies clearly need you.

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How old are they? I’m guess one at least 11, so maybe you need to let them go visit family, friends or maybe even dear old dad… if he’s straight for the moment. You need a few days break, before you break.

Stand your ass up and take care of your kids. You don’t have an option of checking out. You have to take a step back and breath. Get someone to watch them for a day and night and go do something fun. Just remember they rely on you. Not their fault you’re tired. You will be fine.

Been there felt that… You need help it’s hard to ask for sometimes but please ask for help hang in there :heart:

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People saying “you need help, get therapy” - that’s not helpful!!!

I’d love to know how old your kids are. Lots of us have felt like this. Even the ones who won’t admit it. Usually passes but if it isn’t for you…there are resources so help you decide what to do.

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Honey… This is normal but you definitely need a support system. I suggest a therapist to start with. I truly believe everyone could benefit from therapy. It’s just so nice to have someone validate that you’re not crazy and to have someone hold your heavy stuff for a while.

Honestly I think a lot of single parents feel like that at some point in this journey! I know I have being a single mom of 5 almost 6 doing everything on my own trying to juggle sports, school, appointments, work.
Let alone if you have a child or several with mental health issues it’s alot to handle and burn outs come easily.
Just remember you’re doing the best you can, those kids love you and you love them!! life ain’t always easy but one day at a time. Things eventually get better.

I would join some support groups, maybe look into counseling, having someone to talk things out with a different perspective may go along way for you.

You’re never as alone as you think you are.

Not a mom in the world especially a single mom hasn’t felt the overwhelmed feeling you do now and it’s ok…I have been in your shoes and it’s hard and you love them but sometimes just can’t stand the overwhelming burden of being the only everything…but in the end though your frustrations are showing you will straighten your crown and pull through sometimes it’s ok to not be ok

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Is there someone to help you ? Maybe a family member ? Maybe just take a few days to yourself and get a reset

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Sounds like you honestly just need some time away from them, not all together of course but we as parents NEED time for ourselves to be able to cope with the day to day responsibilities of someone other than ourselves. Find someone you trust wether it be a friend or family member and take a break, wether it be for a few days or a week sounds like you really just need some me time

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I don’t know how old your children are but it will get better, I promise. It is hard being a single parent and sometimes you feel like you’re at your wits end but just hang in there and you’ll be so proud of the job that you have done with your children.

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I’ve felt that overwhelmed too but I would never do it. I chose to be a mom and when they’re grown, I’ll have time to myself again. Ask family for a weekend to yourself. Don’t give your children up, you’ll regret it. Also sounds like depression, I would reach out to your dr.

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Never give your kids up ! If you need a break send for a break , once they are gone you will never get back and your children will have a mother that abandoned them !

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We’ve all been there. Hang in!

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Depression is real momma :woman_shrugging:t3: so is burn out. Make time for yourself. Maybe some therapy…

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I feel like that sometimes. It’s definitely hard being a mom. Especially one that doesn’t get a break or help. I could lose my fn mind but I can’t. Because my kids are my life. Try to talk to someone. Please don’t take it out on your kids. Thats one thing I never did but I’ve seen other moms do that. It was horrible.

Lots of us have felt this way. Especially those with next to no help. You need a break and there is nothing wrong with that. Trust me, you don’t want to stop being a parent all together, you just need some support. We all do. No one should have to parent kids alone :disappointed:
Is there anyone who can help ? A family friend? Or family member who can take them for a few days? Sometimes even just a few days can give some much needed clarity.

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I’ve felt like this many times exp in the beginning where the baby’s dad wouldn’t help out at all or when he would get drunk and pass out that happened all the time him and I are no longer together but he comes here on his days off and just recently I had to get after him for me coming home from work and he was drunk off his ass but anyway this isn’t about me sorry for the rant but yes all of us moms go though this and I’ll be praying that it passes soon

Sounds like you have no support near you like family and friends. This I would say is a normal feeling when you’re overwhelmed and haven’t been able to care for yourself. I would suggest therapy, but I know it’s not affordable. The best thing is finding your village, people to help you out. Don’t listen to anyone saying “you’re selfish”, they misunderstand what you’re going through and clearly don’t have empathy. Seek help and seek support. Honestly, no one should be raising children on their own it is very hard. People underestimate how hard it is or forgotten how to empathize. You’re on your own and you shouldn’t be. Look at local mom groups in your area or message any of these supportive moms on here. You are not alone.

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Wow u can tell the moms of the year from some of these comments smh :woman_facepalming:t4: WE get it mama. Parenting in general is a struggle, single parenting w another parent who doesn’t contribute is especially tough. Def get a therapist and get away for a few days if u can. I hope thgs get better for u but u def aren’t alone :heart:

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I feel like you need a good break. Maybe a couple days or a week. Depression can sometimes make us feel this way even though we’d die for our babies and love them endlessly. Idk how you feel about it but maybe try counseling too. That may help with getting your feelings out without judgement. You’re definitely burnt out and haven’t had the help you needed or deserved. That can make us have thoughts we normally wouldn’t have but if you’re 1,000% serious about no longer wanting your children, I pray you give them to a stable, loving family who can give them a great life but know, that would definitely hurt your babies. You’re all they’ve had this long, they’ll be lost without you. Their comfort, their home will be lost. And you ARE their comfort and their home. I’m praying for you and your babies!

I say you do need a man who is willing to help with the kids :confused: as it takes two to make them, and also you should always have kids when you feel ready to.

Get support and help as well and have someone you trust with your kids to baby sit them so you can go out and have a break, kids are kids, they also need a responsible father to be there for them to teach them from right to wrong- for any parent, i was taught from right to wrong from both parents and if i wasn’t taught that I wouldn’t be a good kid, spoil kids with love(the good kind of spoil) but never spoil them with Material, And when you do spoil them teach them that it doesn’t mean they have to sit there and wait for things to be handed to them and teach them in the right way, even spank them on the butt to let them know what they did is bad- but don’t spank them on the butt for everything they do even if it’s a good thing they did because that’ll only teach them no matter what they do it’s bad to the point they’ll give up, reward them for the good that they do, and discipline them for the bad things they do.

Be a good parent and it’s rewarding

Listen…we all feel like this occasionally. Your kids are YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. HE cannot handle them. I suggest asking for help. Asap!!!

You are overwhelmed, burnt-out and need help. Do you have anyone who could help watch your kids so you can get a break sometimes?

Great job on doing it on your own!! I’m proud of you! Take some time for yourself and never give up on your babies!! Self-care is VERY important :heart:

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Find yourself a good therapist. We’ve all been there

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I think some moms feel that way. I know sometimes I want to run away and hide. If the father is unfit to take of the kids then you have to do what you got to do for those babies. I am a mom of 4 and me and my husband both work and are gone 6 days a week most of the day. It sucks and I know it’s exhausting but god gave you those kids for a reason. Both of my sisters are single moms of 2 or more kids and I still don’t understand how they do it but they do. They told me it’s because they know they have to because one those kids are there responsibility, 2 they couldn’t image there lived without there kids and 3 because they know that they have no one else to help them. They told me it’s exhausting and that they do the best they can with the path life has taken them down. And that they know there kids are loved and cared for no matter what or who is in there lives. No matter how hard the struggle is your kids are going to grow up and know that you were always there for them no matter what. That when things got hard mom got stronger mom got smarter mom is there super hero. The biggest and best person in a child’s life is there mother. We are supposed to play every role known to man when you have kids and I think damn near all of us moms in the world do a pretty damn good job.

Please don’t give up on your kids get into therapy see a physciatrist if your depressed or any of that they will help and also find someone to watch the kids for a little while while you get some me time and word of advice if dad hasn’t been involved in the kids lives id strongly advise against giving him full custody of the kids as it could traumatize those kids

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You got this! Being a mom is hard with or without a partner. Do you have any family or friends who can watch your kids for a weekend? You need to convey to them how important it is for you to have a break! Therapy might help too.

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You need a break before you breakdown! Please reach out for help from family ,friends or a therapist!

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I think we have all been there. It’s hard job. Thank God your kids have you!!!

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How old are your children?

You can message me! You may be in a depression! I’d be more than happy to talk to you! I won’t judge you! Prayers for
You hun! Being a single mom is hard! I was a single mom for 7 years. And I totally get where you’re coming from!

Some comments up in here is precisely why mothers don’t reach out for support. Be careful up on that high horse ladies :roll_eyes:

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Perhaps a family member could watch them for a weekend and you could go away. Maybe with a girlfriend or a member of your family. Go somewhere with a pool, a spa and perhaps somewhere close to a little town that has shops and things like that. Taking a weekend away should help you refresh. It’s very important for you to take care of yourself too. The feelings and thoughts you’re having are probably coming from just this, not taking care of you. I hope you get some relief in some way. We are rooting for you Momma!

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I had twins single mom, because their dad was an abusive alcoholic/ drug addiction. It was rough I worked full time babysitters were hard to come by as they got older which they’re almost 12 it got easier. You will regret giving them to him. They don’t deserve to be around that kind of life. When we have children we don’t expect to do it by ourselves this sometimes it happens. You have to make the best out of it and remember it doesn’t last forever they grow up fast. You may not have as much time for yourself now as you would like but you will in the future.

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You need a me vacation can some take the kids for a weekend or even a over night

I’m this mom as well…Sucks!! I love my kids and I need them but at times I need a little bit of me time. My son is currently sick, my daughter was sick last week…Im losing time from work, and thier dads gets to continue to work and have no responsibility! Things will get better. I’m here if you ever need to chat or vent…

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I so feel this to my bones. Being a single mother is hard! However, giving up on your kids isn’t an option Momma. They need you still. Do you have a trusted person or people that will take them for a weekend so you can get away or just have some time alone at home? Also, think about getting a therapist and also talking to your Dr. You may have some undiagnosed depression.

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Some states provide respite care for single mothers

Good lord. Save humanity.

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Coming from some one who lost all 4 of her kids while battling addiction and fighting like hell to get them back. I can promise you don’t want to give up your kids you just need help.

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Parenting can take away your you time real quick. So establish early on a strict routine and schedule, bathtime and bedtime with lights out no later than 8 pm. that give you at least a couple hours to do what you want/need to do.