I was a single mum to 3 years ago and can’t count the times I reached the point of walking out. Its hard being mum and dad all you ever do is spend your days with kids running rings around you it seems to never end but it does and when they are grown up you can be so proud and say I did that all by myself. Like many have said you need to make time for yourself.have a routine and make time it sounds to me that you are lacking adult company hun. It’s hard work but it is worth it.
Maybe find someone to take the kids for a few weeks during the summer. It’s okay to need a break.
Do they go to there dads? Maybe it’s time for some mom fun! A weekend with no kids…just drive and wherever you stop you stay or plan a get away for just you no kids!
Ask for help from family/friends go spend time by yourself… Do not give up we all need a break. Stay strong for your kiddos.
You really need a break. If you truly mean that you want absolutely no custody, and to never see your kids again for… along time, then you need to get some professional help. Counseling, therapy, antidepressant maybe, etc.
Oh think we’d be lying if we said we hadn’t felt that way before. You really sound like you need a break. It’s important to take a step back when you need it no matter what you gotta do
Hang in there for a few more years, you will be sooo glad you did. Pay day is coming, it may not look exactly the way you think a pay day should but believe me, it will be good!
Unfortunately we don’t get to just give up our kids. We are all tired of parenting, I’ve been a single mom 22 years, no help from his dad… I pray and I’ve learned not to rush, give myself the time to do things at my pace. I’m tired of these damn kids:rofl: but I’m reality they’re all I really have and they’re the reason I keep going… be strong and give yourself a break, kids don’t have to like it:woman_shrugging:…
I think you need to speak to a therapist. They will help you cope with what you are going through
Bruh u aren’t alone I wish us moms could just build a community where we all help each other out brih
Pls don’t make any rash decisions these are your kids and although you’re burnt out you may not have an easy time getting them back.Reach out for some help and to have a break.Wish I could help you that’s a terrible situation to be in
Sweetie, you can give him full custody, but then you will have to pay child support. Kids aren’t disposable. Once you have them, they are yours for life. There is no going back to only being responsible for yourself.
Get some counseling. Talk to your doctor. You sound like you are stressed and depressed. Talk to family and friends about ways to get yourself some assistance with your kids.
I totally get this. I got tired of taking care of people.
I do understand. I raised my 2 kids. I raised my sons son his entire life from a baby till he was 19. I asked him to get a job & he moved out & we haven’t heard a word in going on 4 years! It’s hard raising grands. My youngest grand daughter lives with us too. Her mother passed away 2 years ago. Ask for help, if you don’t it will eat at you. If father has a drug problem please don’t give kids back to him until you are sure he can do it. At 65 I never thought I’d still have kids at home. Sending prayers your way
It’s natural to get overwhelmed with being a parent. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like your kids are older? It’s sort of difficult to give advice not knowing the kids ages, what kind of a support system you have(friends, family, etc) and if you work. Kids of all ages can go to the YMCA and Boys & Girls club. Try and find something like one of those to give you a couple hours of a break (a few days a week, everyday, or occasionally). Your kids will not be happy or safe living with an addict.
How old are your kids?
Get your head outta your ass and get yourself the help you need. I feel sorry for your child. You sound selfish.
You need better friends/support system! This is why I’ve always been the friend where you can drop your kids off anytime. Ive been so blessed with amazing grandparents, but I’ve seen first hand how hard my friends struggle.
Would you be comfortable with him having partial custody. Then you’d get a regular break, even if just every other weekend. You’d have those days to breathe.
My dad took us every other weekend. And then every Thursday after school and for dinner.
You need professional help NOW…these kids didn’t ask to be born. Like it or not until they are 18 they are your responsibility regardless of their useless father.
We’ve all felt that way. You need to put yourself first sometimes. Even if it’s walking Walmart by yourself, getting a babysitter and going to a hotel for the night. If you aren’t at 100% you can’t be 100% for them
Why are you with him?
Single mom here and I feel this and for you. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s not easy. Hang in there momma, you’ll be glad you did and you’ll be pretty proud of them and yourself!! They aren’t babies forever xx
Weve all in one way or another been completely burnt out with parenting. But i think you’re to the point of needing some serious help or counseling if youre considering giving your children to a man with an addiction whom has never been there for those children to begin with. I think you’re to a scary point in your mental health. Please get some help.
I think everyone feels that way at some point, you need a good support system to help you through it. I remember one time when my son was a baby, I called my mom to come get him for the day because I was so overwhelmed. The break alone did me good
Let him have them. Had friend in your same situation and she dropped them off at their dad 3 of them. He stepped up and took great care of them. Don’t know until you try.
First of all, hugs, Mama. I know it’s unfair and sucks to be the only responsible parent. It can be entirely overwhelming. Second, everyone needs a support system. If family and friends aren’t that for you, I would suggest looking for a local group for single parents or a church if that’s your thing. We all need a tribe to lean on. You may even think about founding a group with other single parents, where you can take turns getting breaks from the kids while the other parents watch them. Lastly, make some time in your day or night for yourself and prioritize that as yours. Soak in the tub, watch your favorite show, anything that gives you a brief period of peace. Don’t forsake the idea of sitting in your car with the windows up and screaming your head off for a few seconds! I know all to well how it feels to think of walking away. We’re human, we have human needs and thoughts. I hope you get through this and come out the other side thriving!
U did the right thing by sounding out your frustrations. Make the kids accountable to themselves. Ask them to help more. It’s tough, but it’s harder on you. I hear u on ALL levels. Some days are unbearable and u wonder why and all the why nots? But at the end of it… your kids will understand you and the situation better if you! don’t give up. They will be better humans for it.
Take time for yourself, self .
You’re resentful towards him and have every right to be.
It sounds like you just needed to vent mama
I’d recommend counseling if you can… it has been a lifesaver for me since I really have no support
Definitely time to see a therapist. In the meantime find some you time. Self care is important
Do NOT, Give him custody!! You WILL regret it!! Take a vacation, go somewhere, just you, and take a few days or a week!! All parents need alone time, or adult time!! Go seek therapy, join a hobby through the week, take some YOU time!!
Stay strong for yourself first, then your children. Require him to pay child support. God bless.
Hang in there. He should help out and give you a break.
You clearly need a break let them go to their dads
I am sending you big hugs.
I don’t know you, but I feel your post so much.
I’m raising my special needs grandchild as my own.
I’m exhausted and just sometimes want to run away.
Until I wonder what would happen? I can’t stand the thought of his life if I was not here!
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world… you need to take a vacation and you need to put you first sometimes.
Chin up momma
Honestly it sounds like you need counseling. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I’ve been there. 8 years ago I was willing to sign my kids over to their dad. Instead, I chose to find someone to have them for 2 weeks. I went away on vacation and realized i couldn’t live without them and I was speaking out of depression. You don’t want to give your babies up mama, you’re just burnt out and need a break. Think of it this way, if he’s pissed about money and hasn’t been responsible all this time, he’s not gonna look after your babies. And they would be lost eithout you. Take you a break. Leave the kids with someone you trust for a few weeks and see how you feel after it. I can almost guarantee you you will change your mind
Girl I feel some adult capri sun time is needed. But honestly we have all felt like we needed to run away hide in a hole and let someone else deal with the kid drama for some time. We all understand and yes if counselor’s are an option honey you do what’s good for you! It’s tough being a mom any kind of mom but single with no help is the hardest it’s the hardest job you will ever love and screw the dude that wants to hate because he needs to pay
If he was smart he would get an under the table paying job to where he won’t have to pay. 1 up king
Wow. I was a mom of twins at 17 with NO HELP FROM NO ONE WORKED 3 JOBS STRUGGLED BUT I DID IT. FIND THAT POWER THEY GROW UP TO FAST ALREADY. INVEST IN YOURSELF BUT ALSO A BABYSITTER TO HAVE SOME DOWN TIME. YOU SHOULDN’T LET YOURSELF GET THAT STRESSED YOU DON’T WANT YOUR KIDS GET HELP AN GROW UP
I have felt this way more than once but when my son tells me everyday he is court ordered that he doesn’t want to go to his dads house I am happy that I am doing it and being the support for my kids. I have an amazing support system for me. Even when I breakdown and talk like this no one judges me because it is a fleeting feeling. Get a babysitter and have a night out or even just alone in your apartment/house. I am always up and hour or two after my kids go to bed for “me time” a glass of wine and Netflix or coloring or meditating. It keeps me level. Self care is important. Change up bedtime to better suit you if that is what you are most comfortable with. It is 7:15 here my son is at his dads and my daughter is asleep so I can clean or just watch my YouTube videos.
Sometimes I wanna quit too dude but I am all they got ! So i persevere
Girl I have two kids (24/15) there dad has either been in prison or o wait I have sole custody he still has to pay child support but I am mom and dad when my x husband got out of prison when my son was 12 he didn’t have to pay the 12 years of child support don’t give up stay strong and yes I work non stop I barely get to see events my kids do know there friends but your kids will respect u and be glad u are there mom and one day they will pay u back (maybe nursing home age) and show u they are returning the favor
Do you have family willing to take custody?
Hugs and love and rest for you my dear. Are your kids school age?
Being a parent is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs we have…chin up mama! You need a break…likely mentally and physically and you deserve no judgment because of this! Breathe, rest, regroup, and then get back to being the badass you’ve been thus far!
Praying you find peace
Try to find a single mom’s support group on FB. Deep down, you know you don’t want to be done parenting, you’re stressed to the max and probably are angry for doing it by yourself for so many years with no help. Find people like you to talk to, they are out there!
You need to remember, God chose YOU to be their mother, he blessed you with your children, be thankful. Mothering can be very exhausting trust me I know, I’m a mother of 4 with ADHD. You need to find ways where both you and your children are able to work together to make things easier not only for you but them as well! You can’t give up on your children, they are kids, they NEED YOU, they need a mom. You will regret it. If you are going through a mental break down or are depressed as what I’m getting from your post, then I highly suggest counseling. If the dad has an addiction you most definitely don’t want him to have custody. Have you tried dating again? Maybe that would help! Pray about everything, God always listens, and you need to listen to him as well and look for signs. You are never alone, don’t let the devil win, that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. Don’t give up on your kids, they are just kids being kids. Stay strong!
Take a break and run away for the weekend w/out the kids if you can.
Awe hun!!! Many of us do feel that way at times. It’s freaking hard to be a single parent, especially when there is no co-parenting. Ya need a break! You need you time. It’s not selfish it’s self - care!!! I’ve had some of those thoughts too, doesn’t matter what age. Same poop different pile. The struggle is real. Just a thought but big sister or big brother club? I don’t know how old your kiddos are but see if there’s a youth club? Even if it’s 1 hour to just sit in silence.
Let go of doing it all. So the dishes don’t get done 1 day. So you eat Kraft dinner or take out. Skip vacuuming or dusting. Delegate more tasks to the kids. My place is mostly tidy but is clean bathrooms and kitchen and eating areas. Bedrooms close the door for a day.
I’ve learned to ask my kids what would you like me to do? How can we solve this, what’s your idea? How can I help? Gives them something to think on. Gives them a chance to own it and help solve it.
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t.
I’ve also started doing ok, that’s your choice , so your prepared for the consequences then. ( they didn’t tidy their room so now they don’t get to go do the fun day) but I don’t say anything until that day when they ask hey today is funday what’re we doing. My response im going to go for a walk or read my book or watch tv. You I guess are doing what you were supposed to do because you gotta do the work before you get to play. They are slowly learning.
Try and take pride and find the gratification in all you do and don’t make what he lacks in and who he is be any indicator of how you are as a parent or what you give to your kids. Allowing his failures and slacking to make you feel this way is unfair to the children you know you love and will love and be grateful for YOU as they’re older. Keep on keeping on. You’re a rockstar parent and you don’t need the other parent for nothing after 11 years.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are NOT alone in feeling this way. Every parent at some point or another has felt this and if they say they haven’t then they’re lying or they don’t have their kids enough. NO ONE enjoys being a parent ALL THE TIME. Hang in there mama, you got this.
First thing I just want to give you a hug second I feel your pain it’s HARD being a single parent. Do you have any family members that would help you with the kids even if they can take them for a few hrs or a weekend. I hope you can find the help you need
Warm hugs and prayers for the strength you need! Stay strong!
You feel tired I know.
It’s tough, try to rest when you can
You r not alone, I think most parents feel like they r burnt out at one point. There’s nothing wrong with feeling some type of way. Reading this made me sad… It sound like u r depressed , I suggest just like many other on here to get some help. I think u need a break. Maybe if u have some type of support even for a weekend u should do it for yourself.
First off, I want to applaud you for being real, your feelings are valid and you are not a bad person for feeling
these feelings. Anyone who cast judgment on this post should personally be slapped across the face. As moms we take on so much. Especially moms with sole custody, no support financially or physically.
I am in a similar boat, I’m not gonna run away but I’m not gonna lie that I dream about it. I’m exhausted to the core. I have two kids, one sole custody and one I share but neither do I get child support from. I had an awful childhood and I’m lucky to be here today, I was abandoned , my mom tried to sell me and kill me. I said that I would never have kids because once I’m on my feet I’m gonna do something that I can enjoy for myself in life. But look at me now, Two kids later and I vowed that I will never be the mom or l y any child endure what I went through. I bust my ass￼ to prove that everyday but I’m exhausted, I can only do so much. I don’t have all the answers but I do know I recently started therapy, taking 10 + minutes throughout the day for myself to journal or reflect. It does help- I’m on medication along with therapy.
Therapy and the doctor is not the cure but helps Luckily I work in the mental health field and I stressed my concerns with my boss. I told him I need a couple days without my kids and work. I’ve been researching and we can get away that I can remove myself from my kids on my phone, most importantly relax and do whatever the hell I want. I started researching these getaway houses, basically they’re a little cabins on wheels and very minimal. It may not seem luxurious but it seems great to me. Right now they are giving 25% off if you book during May for mental health awareness month. My main point is that I hear you, your feelings are valid and I think a bit of time away if you can finagle it. Find a way for someone to watch your kids and have a reset for yourself. That’s what I’m planning to do and hoping that I will come back refreshed.
My sons Dad tried to kill me & is F up on drugs, it’s easy to want throw in the towel- I get it.
I really think reaching out to your community & seeing what resources are around will help.
If you don’t find any, please msg me & I’ll help. We are in this together
My husband has been overseas since Jan 21 and I’ve been the sole caretaker of my now 3 year old since while also juggling nursing school. Sometimes I feel the same way. I love my child very much and couldnt see my life withoit her. I feel that it’s not as uncommon as you think. You need to make some time for your self it sounds like.
Girl you are not alone it gets really hard and mentally taxing… find you a babysitter even for a few hours and do something away from the kids that you enjoy… if you can get someone to keep them over the weekend and take a mini vacation
Girl find you someone you trust with your kids and ask if they can take them for a few hours every now and again to help you out to be able to have some personal time for yourself. Do you have family ir parents near you to help out. Or maybe find a daycare of sitter to watch them. Best of luck to you…Remember there is no manual to raise g kids, be easy on yourself and remember to just breathe
If you don’t trust him you can always stipulate supervised visitation! That way you can get some me time and not have to worry! Then sit back and have a glass of wine in a bubble bath!
I get that parenting is hard, but if you think it’s hard on you that your kids don’t have a dad imagine how terrible they feel.
You need a break. Badly. We all need a break sometimes. That doesn’t make you bad. That makes you human.
Do you have friends or family who can help out?
I think every mother has had a moment of wanting to run away. I am a single mom of 4, 2 of them just aged out the last couple years, but it’s been a long rough road. We have to start allowing ourselves breaks and “me time”. No one could go 18+ years always putting everyone else before them! Even the best of us will break doing that.
My daughter a single Mom but she has always had her Dad and me.
Don’t do that to your kids. I’ve been a single parent and I know the struggles. Thankfully I had a friend who’s husband has taken her boys and she loved to take my kids for a few hours to give me a break and her some time to love on some kids. You may not have a friend like that but maybe a church program or after school program.
But please don’t give them to someone like that.
I hope you get rest and peace. You’re not alone.
You chose to breed. They’ll grow up and be gone before you know it, and you’ll miss them terribly. Suck it up and do a good job.
I’m burnt out too. It will get better we all have ups and downs. Hope it gets better for you. Don’t depend on him will only stress u out more. Been there done that too
If you have a friend/family that would take them for a few hours or a day try to get that done. You’re just burnt and need a break. You got this!!!
You are not alone, mama
We’ve all felt like this at one point or another in our single parenting lives and anyone who says different is lying. You’ll get through it but you have to carve something out of your life that is specifically for you. Whether it’s time alone everyday or a manicure once a month or a shopping spree where you get to buy yourself an outfit once a month whatever. You cannot forget yourself along the way sister. And I pray for you because it is tough being a parent
Parenting Is not easy but something you never give up on. Those are your babies good and bad days. Stay strong. Take the child support and don’t worry if their dad is in their life, those are your babies. Give your kids the happy life all kids deserve. My boy is my peace.
Honestly, I recommend seeing a counselor. I would also hire a babysitter or if you have family or a friend by, see if they would be willing to come watch your kiddos for a few hours or maybe see about having a little weekend trip to yourself - even if it’s just spending the night at a local hotel to have some you time. Maybe see about getting supervised visits so he can still see the kids but it is supervised It’s normal to feel burnt out and stressed out especially doing it by yourself all of these years. As far as wanting to give custody away, I would say you just sound overly burnt out. As far as custody goes, i wouldn’t give of your kiddos away. You don’t want to create a lasting decision for temporary feelings. Hugs to you, mama. Try to hang in there
Idgaf girl everyone feels like this at points in their life ik i have a few times dude i just wanted to give tf up and i have an amazing father for my kids but i just get so overwhelmed with work laundry dishes dinner lunches breakfasts homework etc etc evrything is just so much sometimes…hold your head up and for sure get professional help as this is a big sign of depression and can be worked out with therapy and or drugs depending on whats going on with you…good luck feel free to message me we can talk no judgement girl…at least reach out to someone
Just breathe, take it second by second if you have to
I would definitely recommend therapy! It is difficult being a single mom and not getting the support from the father whether it be helping with the kids or financially, I’ve been there myself. One thing I can say is…had it not been for my kids I wouldn’t be here today!!! Take deep breath and try to stay calm. A bad day is not a bad life! Praying for you to find peace in your situation.
You Are Not Alone. I’m a mom of 4. My ex left 10 years ago. I currently am raising my grandson now. My other daughter moved in with her daughter and I’m so burnt and tired and worn out I just want to seriously just wanna buy a van and run away. Everyday I wake up and wish I wasn’t awake or in this situation. I really want a year to just sit and sleep and pee by myself. To live without feeling like I am running out of time or energy to be myself be me. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
Best of luck momma.
You are not alone. I get it. I was a single mom for many many years and struggled so much with just wanting to run away. I had no help, it was just me, myself and I. Hang in there and big hugs to u!
I’m not a parent yet, but I get so much advice and tips on here also a “what should I expect” kind of thing! Thank you guys for being so open and helping towards other parents! It makes me see my parents in a different light as well! And I’m 30
The solution I found is use your time to your best advantage and don’t forget time for yourself doing something you like. Tennis?
are your kiddos at an age where you could let them stay with family or friends once or twice a month just to give you some time to decompress?? Praying that for you
Have you considered talking to a counselor?
But one idea I have - with the new child support, try putting that toward a babysitter if possible, so you can have time to yourself to fill your cup
Every parent needs a break. Do you think you will feel different if someone keeps your children for a while and give you a break not the permanent decision with their dad? Check with your family, don’t wont younto have a break down or make a wrong decision.
Sounds like you just need some time to yourself, not sure if you’re in my area, but even if not I’m here if you’d like to talk or even just vent, my kid is 11 as well, so that sounds like some common ground we both have, also I’m in the pacific NW, if you’re close I’m always down to make new friends and get you out of the house for a bit.
Hugs mama. you are not alone. Parenting is hard!! It truly is. You def need a break. Maybe some good friends or family can take your child for a weekend or something, so you can regroup. Maybe look into a weekend camp or something along those lines, that will help give you a break.
Make time for you every day! Read a book, take a hot bath, go for a pedicure or manicure. Self care is so important, and as parents we forget to do that.
I feel you so much, I’m a single mom to 2 special needs children. Life is challenging and difficult, I don’t have any help either and raise them myself. It’s overwhelming at times.
Big hugs to you.
We all have been there at some point in life. Try to get someone to help you so you can take a break. Maybe see a therapist?
You need some self care time sweetie, for real. I implore you to find some time where you aren’t a mother but yourself. And if you don’t know who that is anymore, then you really do need that time to yourself. You’re not a bad mother by anymore on how you feel. You’re burnt out by the lack of support from your child’s other parent. It’s nonsense you have to do through this and are made out to be the and guy because he doesn’t want to be responsible. Send those kids to grandma(or whoever) for the weekend and forget about them haha no for real. Go not be a mom for the weekend, go shopping without kids, go to the park, he’ll go to the car wash. Get some food without complaints. Go have a phone conversation in the shower or bath totally undisturbed
I’m loving the support in this post Most would belittle and be harsh as hell!!! Thank you guys from the depths of my soul for lifting this momma up vs where it could’ve gone
God can help. Pray about guidance and direction and to send help. You need a life partner/husband to help take care of you and them. Someone who see you as an equal and not just someone to cook and clean. Ask in just this way. Yes it matters. “ask and you shall receive.”. My mother used to say " be careful how or what you ask for. He will send you things to be Patient about if you ask for Patience. He will send you things to be Wise about if you ask for Wisdom." So be precise in your prayers for what you need. God is good and will not let you down. He may say “wait” but, he will always answer. I have been there. It could be your health is weak. Or low. Ask your Dr for a Vitamin Panel. Vitamin D3 is a natural antidepressant. It kept my husband from suicide when we lost our home and everything and he was diagnosed disabled. Niacin is for nerves and brain. God bless and I hope all this helps.
Girl I feel ya if it wasn’t for my mom and dad when my kids were small idk where I would be today they helped me lots I was going thru some ugly stuff ( custody etc ) but if the older kids are able to help u out and get urself some me time after the kids go to bed jump into a bubble with some music just lay in there relax take deep breathes during the day if u need sometime see if and family member or a friend is willing to help u out with even an hr
I’ve felt like this and was pretty much in same position. Prayers
Every mother on the planet has felt this way. Parenting is hard. What kind of resources does your community have? Do they have any youth programs, camps, buddy system programs that you could sign your kids up for to get a break? Do you have any close friends or any HS girl neighbors who can take your kids for a few hours a couple times a month to get a break? Prayers for you mama
Being a Mama is the toughest job you will ever have. Not having a support system is tough too. You are doing the best you can. Find a counselor, older Mom that you can talk to. If you are depressed, there are medications that will help. Get your hormones checked too. All moms have been overwhelmed at one point or another. Keep holding on.
I hate to tell you this but I think we’ve all felt like this at one time or another I remember crying in the shower as a single mom working not 2 but 3 JOBS, all 3 of my children were in sports at 1 time or another , never ONCE had ANY help from thier alcoholic father , Idk how I did it but I did , we don’t get to CHECK OUT im sorry to say , just keep putting one foot in front of the other , all 3 of mine are adults " married , children etcetc and they all remember thier mother NEVER gave up. Good luck to you , YOU GOT THIS
Breathe mama you’re on burn out. Try setting up a time once a week for just yourself. Do you have a support system? Family friends grandparents, siblings that can rotate child care to give you a break? Do you go to church? they have groups for support single parents. You need self care and community. You’re doing great we all need a break sometimes
Burn it is real. I feel this. You aren’t alone And you feelings are valid.
Vent away momma! We all have probably been there. If only birth control didn’t fail… love my kids but karma is a bitch. Lol. Sorry to my mother and father
I’m in that boat rite now
But would give them to my boyfriend not there dads lol
I think we have all been there, being a parent is no easy task even harder when you are doing it alone…you need some me time