I am unhappy in my marriage: Advice?

My husband and I have been married since mid-2019 together since 2015 before we would have arguments a lot but over the small thing and get over it, but lately, it’s gotten worse. It’s become an everyday thing for him to get so upset over something so little, and I won’t lie. I do get mad at him for honestly the smallest things. I’m so unhappy in our marriage with myself and with the way things are going. Should I try to fix my marriage? We have a toddler, and all we’ve ever wanted was to raise a family together and make our child the happiest we can. He doesn’t understand right now, but I don’t want him to grow up with his parents fighting all the time. Help!?

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Go on Amazon and order 5 love languages by Gary Chapman! Life changing

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If you love each other, dont give up. But if the love is gone, maybe just part ways. Or try to fall back in love with one another.

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Why give up so easy for something you once cared for?
It comes down to if you love your marriage or not. You have to work for your marriage together.
Marriage is a 24/7 job that your constantly learning about.

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I think if you argued a lot beforehand it’s probably not going to disappear. If you truly want it to work, he has to want it too. And if you both do, maybe seek counseling to help learn new habits and to better your communication. Goodluck

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You shouldn’t of married him if your thought of committing to someone is worth 4 years of a 100 year life pay for the divorce especially if you need to ask people before God what you should do

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If you don’t know what to do, you’re not ready to split. When it’s time to walk away, you’ll know.

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Try marriage counseling if that doesn’t work then it’s time to leave cause if you’re so unhappy your child can sense it more then you think. It’s better to leave than stay in a toxic situation

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Why is fixing your marriage a question? If it’s fixable- why wouldn’t you?

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Clearly you didn’t understand what you were signing up for when you said “I do.” To consider giving up on your marriage so soon is ridiculous and isn’t holding the promise you made. Try saving your relationship first, consider counseling.

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So you been married what about 1 yr and already to call it quits…
I mean marriage isn’t all rainbows n sunshine all the time
And covid does add extra stress
Lack of work n together alot more n not going out

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Try talking to him about it or try marriage counselling

I’ve been married to my husband for 12 years we have 4 teens and I’ve been there. We did marriage counseling and 2x a month had date night where we could just focus on us and our marriage. Another “rule” we have is to never go to bed angry with each other. If you feel your marriage is worth saving then I’d highly recommend marriage counseling

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Why get married if you’re willing to throw in the towel after a year? Marriage isn’t easy. And it certainly doesn’t get easier. The fact that you’re even questioning it after only a year says you weren’t ready for that kind of commitment.

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Having a child really tests even the best relationships! Don’t give up! Hang in there and maybe try counseling first unless you truly know you dont want to be with him. Think about how you feel when you picture not being together. How does that thought truly make you feel?

We’re you guys all isolated together for the three months? Are you still? A lot of stress has been going around and it affects everyone even if it doesn’t directly affect you. Maybe someone is venting on him and he just doesn’t have it in him right now. See if he’ll talk or go to counselling. You did marry him so younplanned to put the effort in at one time. Hugs. I went ten years of trying and had to end it for the sanity of everyone. Hugs.

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If you want to work it out for the success of your family then absolutely do something. Couples counseling is a great way to help fix things see things differently and resolve issues .

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Um. Who isn’t arguing more since we have all been stuck home with nowhere to go and nothing to do?

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I say leave and never look back

Try The Love Dare
Watch the movie Fireproof
Youtube Matt Chandler A Beautiful Design
Read The 5 love languages

A marriage is a long time commitment there are always bumps in the road. But if you can work thru them it can make your marriage stronger. I hope you guys can work thru them for your family. And if not that’s okay do what you feel is best.

If you’re arguing over little things then theres probably a bigger issue going on, especially this soon into your marriage. My hub and I have been in love since we were 12, together on and off all that time and then married 5 years ago. We have 2 kids, and some days we have arguments and some days hes my best friend, that’s life. I’m sure if you grew up in a house with family or other people that they didnt always get along with each other or you didnt get along with them either. You have to realize that your husband is human. And he has to realize the same about you. Marriage is a commitment, yes but it doesnt make you into robots. Children add extra stress ontop of normal stress, and the current pandemic has increased stress levels astronomically. I would suggest you sit down and just say “I’ve notice we have been disagreeing over small things lately and I’m just wondering if everything is okay, I’d like to talk and get to the bottom of it because it makes me feel xy and z and I know it cant be great for you either.” If that’s a busy then I suggest seeing if counseling is an option. Dont give up on a marriage because of the rainy days. Instead, take your partner and go find some umbrellas so you can withstand it.

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I’ve been with my boyfriend (fiance, but I call him hubby because he basically is) since 2014. We have a toddler together as well and fought quite a bit after our son was born. Having a child is a really hard thing to go through and it tests relationships tbh. But what we realized is we love each other no matter what, and we dont want our son to grow up without either of us in his life. So we compromise and talk things out, or I leave him to cool off for a bit before we talk again and make up. It takes a lot of work to keep any relationship afloat. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you two can work things out

We are all living in a very stressful time right now. It is easy for everything to blow up. Don’t give up on a marriage too easily.anything worth having takes work and patience.

It depends…do you love him and does he love you? I’m a big believer in love conquers all. If you love him then definitely try saving the marriage. Counseling, marriage books, date nights etc. If you imagine yourself super happy and loving life in a year is he there with you? If are you alone or with someone new? I guarantee it’s better for your child to grow up coming from a broken home than living in a home with fighting. A healthy child starts with happy and healthy parents. If you and his dad aren’t happy he will know.
Good luck to you

I think you owe it to yourself AND your husband to explore every avenue possible before just giving up on a marriage that’s barely even begun. All couples fight. And all relationships have ups and downs. The downs aren’t the time to throw in the towel and just give up. That’s the time to dig in and see what you’re really made of. It’s meant to challenge you, not keep you in your comfort zone. You don’t learn anything from a comfort zone. Start by examining your words and actions, and be honest with yourself. If you find yourself repeating the same bad habits and behavior, how do you fix it? NOT by repeating said behavior and expecting a different outcome. My suggestion is ride it out. At this point, all you can control is you. So start there. See what happens. Talk through it. Maybe not in the moment when you’re both seeing red, but give each other time to cool off, then come back together and talk about the feelings and dissect where it went wrong and why you both reacted the way you do. Most importantly, learn to fight fair. The more you open up and create a diologue, the better. What’s most important though, is to take what you learn from those conversations and do better. Do the work. It isn’t going to just get better on its own, nor is it gonna happen overnight. You get what you give, so put your whole heart into it.

Join facebook group the thriving marriage. I read a lot of post of people saying it has helped dramatically with their marriage

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The hardest time in a marriage is the first couple years your life and his life is not our life it takes alot of time to adjust learn to pick your battles if it’s something small why bother getting upset. You’ll find yourself fighting less and less. don’t give up it’s to soon you both will learn you have to give a little to become one

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Try and work on your marriage .
There will be many stages in a marriage that go thru some serious rough terrain .
It sounds like you both want the same thing and perhaps you both really do love one another .
I wouldn’t look to end things just yet .

I would suggest counseling too if you’re both willing .
Best of luck to you

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Have you tried counseling? It can really help open up the communication and teach you both how to better understand the other. Just a suggestion. It literally saved my marriage.

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Sounds like your giving up…try imagining life without him …if that doesn’t bother you…then do what you have to do…just remember it may not be so easy to get back in as it is to get out…

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When the going gets tough the tough get to work. Work on your marriage. Express that you don’t want to fight over small things anymore. Make an effort to not sweat the small stuff. As adults you should be able to have an argument that’s not in front of your child. If you need to argue wait until your child goes to sleep or is in a separate room with a monitor.

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do counseling…and if he won’t go…then you go.

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It sounds like you are unhappy. It’s not your marriage or your husband. It’s you. Try getting happy, and if your marriage sucks then end it. But if you are unhappy, then you will still be unhappy even after your divorce is final

Counseling try that first before you throw in the towel. If you truly still love him then yes fight for it. Your going to fight its nature just how you all handled it.

When you get mad…stop…in w weeks are you going to be mad about whatever it is . Try to stay calm when he’s fighting and treat him nice…the way you want to be treated.

well i for one will never ever let a man treat me bad your better than that your kids see how he treats you and you let him do it your kids will learn to do the same thing to there mates why do you fight we all fight about dumb things i have been married to the same man for 32 years and yes we fight kiss and make up if your so unhappy leave dont stay for the kids thats a cop out do a time out go some were for a week if you can just to get a way leave the kids with him and take some time for you so that you can really think about what your going to do with your life and the kids can you take care of them on your own maybe a time out is good

sounds like you forgot to take time for each other because its stressfu of every day life work kids bills so id say talk to a counsler be very Frank and truefull you will find that you miss each otherthats why the small things grew to.big things you wanted attention good luck

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I would suggest Reading the book “ the five love languages “ I highly recommend it. Counseling’s also. Marriage is not easy, and you have only just started, you both need to learn to let the little things go (and that is not easy ) do you two take time for yourselves and each other ? Date night should be a requirement in any marriage- I have been married for 24 years, and I love my husband more now, than when we first met. But it took some hard times, and now that two of our kids are almost out of college and one a senior in HS, we are almost empty nesters, and this is what we as parents have been preparing for, our journey together, through thick and thin, he is my world and I want him happy. Guess the question should be is he your world?

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Talk to him about everything, if he blows you off then leave or tell him to leave. You and your childs health comes first.

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It can sound contradictory but work on yourself and read power of a praying wife

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For the sake of the little one, should try counseling first and see where that will take you both to. All the very best. :two_hearts:

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Only you know what you live each and every day. We as strangers can sit here and speculate but ultimately you know what’s going on and deep down you know what’s right for you and your child.
It is perfectly normal and okay to have difficult days/weeks/months with your spouse. I am trying to look harder at my own self and flaws instead of his. It’s helped me hold myself accountable. To be present and accept that I am in fact a contributing factor to our drama. It’s hard.
I could write you a detailed slide show on my husbands flaws and the things he does that make me consider punching him one day… but that’s a different story for a different day. Point is, it’s okay that you don’t like your husband all the time. Love is still deciding that they’re worth moving forward with. Love is the acceptance that people aren’t going to be everything we expect them to, and we all let someone down at times. Marriage is forgiveness. Follow your heart. You can make such a difference if you wake up and begin today to use your time by doing something that would make YOU feel happy. Take an online class, read a book, take a bath, play music, dance around, exercise, cry it out, put your face on, do your hair, sleep!!! Find what makes you feel better and then you work on finding what makes your marriage better together.

Something most people won’t tell you is that first year of marriage can be very trying for some. Add to it the global pandemic and all the stress and uncertainty. You do not want your child growing up with all the fighting but given your marriage has hardly met the 1 year mark I’d hesitate to write it off just yet. Try counseling and learn to better communicate. Marriage is a big commitment that takes constant work no matter what hallmark tries to sell you.

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For 1 years I was crying every time my husband was yelling . He is like a summer storm , yell now and on 2 minutes is like nothing happened and he doesn’t care who else is there family or people you just know which bothered me more . I was thinking what is better and I thought is better to stay because I was pregnant already . We are together for almost 20 years now. Have he changed ? Not a lot but I don’t care any more , I know I didn’t do anything wrong so let him spent his voice . I feel bad when we are with other people but they can tell is for no reason . I have to boys teenagers now so I think is worth it not to give up for small things . Sit down with him when he is not mad and talk . Tell him that you going to stop arguing with him not because he is right but for the sake of the family

Pray ask God to help you and show you the way!!

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Do you remember why you feel in love with him is it still there? I also would try counseling and I will be praying for you all!:heart::heart::heart::heart:

The hardest part is changing …but you have to start with yourself, start treating him the way you want to be treated …if you yell he’s going to yell…try compliments, compliment him the first thing in the morning, try writing down all his good qualities, and once you start doing it hopefully he will start doing it too , it’s not going to change right away but if you feel it’s worth saving give it time to change and to work in a positive way

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If u really want to find happiness study the bible with Jehovahs witness . The reason why i like Jehovahs witness they don’t take part in military services because they don’t want to kill anyone. Other religions that are taking part in military services think they are doing an act of worship to god by killing another human being but they are murdering they own flesh and blood brothers and sisters. With Jehovahs witness u will be taught to love and keep away from toxic people. If he belittles u just ignore him and do watever makes u happy.

“you, me, we”
You have to make sure yourself is okay
Then make sure he is okay.
Then make sure you both are okay.
Arguments come and go and sometimes happen more than desired. But this is where you two either grow together or apart. It’s up to both of you to decide which direction that growth is going to be. But from experience, if you aren’t okay, your relationship isn’t going to be okay either. Just breathe, take the next step you feel needed, and remember you can always take a nap on whatever matter needs thought about

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If u are truly not happy then leave bits not worth it for you or your little one

You should try to fix your marriage. Marriage isn’t easy. And despite what everyone thinks it’s not effortless either. If at the end of the day you tried and you’re both still miserable then yeah it’s better to have both parents happy apart then miserable together but at least try. Good luck.

My husband and I were recently going through this. It took alot of bad days but we’ve finally found common ground and stopped arguing with each other for the smallest of things. I had to learn alot of patience and he worked on his communication skills. Weve been thriving better than ever these past few months. I hope you two work it out :heartbeat:

I’d spend a lot of time working on your relationship together. Do absolutely everything you can to get the spark back. Date again, do small things for him etc. yes it takes both. It sounds like a rut. Marriage isn’t easy and you have to be will to fight tooth and nail before considering giving up.

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You to need yo sit down and talk . Dont criticize ,just explain whats upsetting each of you then look for ways to annoy one another less . Marriage is a job ,if you dont work at it like a job you wont have it for long . Try to remember little things are not worth the effort to get major upset about . Some things you just have to let go .

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If you are Christian and believe in God then pray about it. Counseling is also a good idea. I have had an experience where my husband left and after he left he realized what he was missing, took a few months and i let him come back and we worked things out and now I think were happier than we ever been

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I suggest that you work on your marriage. Don’t take for granted what God has given you. You are never promised tomorrow.

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If you only concentrate on the bad, no good will ever come to rise. Learn how to deal with the small things. Ask him to fix if it’s something that can be reasonably done. Help with housework or does he chew loudly? I mean if you can’t figure out how to grow as an adult then how you expect your child to know what to do?

Go to counseling, yourself first. You were arguing some before you got married so you knew what you were getting in to. I’m just going to tell you it makes me furious that people leave a marriage for arguments and never try to work on it first. Marriage is a COVENANT. The first sign of a problem (in this case the signs were there BEFORE marriage) and people want to bail. If he’s not beating you then do the freakin work!

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If you can try to work it out if not - you best bet is to go - no offence - I had the same issues - and was married for 20 years and had to get a divorce. Best thing that happened to me. But I know its hard - but

A little history about me…I’ve been married for 50 years. I was 17 and he was 21.

I can tell you that marriage is a roller coaster. You can have great days and then he can just comb his hair wrong (He didn’t, it just feels that way.) and it bothers you. Take a step back. Walk into a different room. Take a deep breath. Is it something that will change your life? Did he physically hit you or the baby? Will the argument issue today be a life changer tomorrow? Is the issue worth throwing away a marriage that has brought you a beautiful child?

Ask him to go to counseling. Tell him you want to work things out with someone that can hear both sides. If he refuses to go and thinks it’s not worth his time, then he is telling you that YOU aren’t worth it. That should give you a direction then of what you should do.

Good luck.

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Take 1 “one” whole week and do nothing but praise him and do things he likes. Don’t expect thank yous or praises, just donut! Don’t criticize him or nag or pick. Apologize if necessary, even if you feel like it’s not your fault! See how things change!!!
One of the things I hated most was getting up early and cooking breakfast for my man, even though I knew he would love it! I made myself do it for a whole week, and WOW! He was so appreciative and felt loved and I in return got the best of it! Instill donit to this day, although we are retired now I don’t have to get up early early, but I fix breakfast of some kind or he offers that we go to town and eat! He’s not much on cooking! Since then, we have been on the greatest adventure, called life!! We weren’t having problems either, but something was lacking! Something so simple made a huge difference. I am a Christ follower and God also says we should be submissive to our husbands. Not in a total control freakish kind of way either. And since I’ve done that, he has treated me like the Bible says, like Christ treats His bride. Proverbs 31 helped me alot! By being good to my husband, I was also being obedient to God!!!

The only good thing came of my marriage was my son I stayed married to her for 35 years it was good times and bad times more bad than good I wish I had to let her go long before she died think if you want to be miserable for the rest of your life or not

Do you think either of you is an HSP (highly sensitive person)? Higher sensitivity to things can cause more fighting.

People are so quick to just leave that’s why marriages don’t work these days… but sit and talk to him see if something is bugging him… maybe hes stressed and doesn’t know how to just talk instead of snap… had to talk to my husband about it a few dozen times before he got I wasn’t just trying to put him down as a person… we’ve had happier days more than anything else lately

Try to do a vacation just the two of you. Talk things out and maybe try therapy. It worked wonders for my marriage. You both have to want it to win the fight.

Wait it out. Life is stressful right now with covid and closures so I’m sure you’ve been spending way too much time together. Meanwhile try to play a board game together and drink a glass of wine. Talk about happier times and assure one another that you’re in this together and will get thru it.

Someone sleepover their relatives house.That way you can see how fun you are.Works

Have you tried counseling?

The arguments, prior to marriage, was a ‘sign’. It will be better, for your child, to NOT be around you two arguing all of the time…

Praying :pray: for you and your husband. We’ve Been married one year and praying for one another and talking to God everyday is Priority. May God bless your marriage :heart:

The five love languages is Awesome, please read

Quarteened is hard on everyone, is that possibly the reason

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What have you been planting in your ily garden. ?if you wish to recieve love then give it . would you like to recieve a hug? Then give one . a love note. ? Then give one . you know if you treat someone lovingly you are much more apt to get it back . just like if someone treats you kindly it touches you and lightens your day . try giving love and not worrying about what you are not getting and he might just reciprocate. Love gives love . weed out the toxic people . by this i mean if someone talks smack about your s.o you dont need their imput especially if it be another man possibly vying for your affection .

Pray for peace in ur marriage. Pled the Blood of Jesus over yalls marriage. Bind anything trying to come between y’all. Don’t give up. Marriage is hard at times trust me, I have been married for 18 yrs but you have to both work at it. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage but for sure a perfect love…

YouTube marriage Today
Jimmy evans

Marriage counseling. It sounds like to me that you’re tired of arguing and want to fix things so there’s hope in fixing your marriage and making it better. Good luck to you.

I’ve been married for 33 years. We have separated twice but gotten back together both times. Marriage is a 24 hr job, 365 days a year. All marriages have their ups and downs and problems. That being said; when you took the vows, you both made a commitment and should take responsibility for that commitment. You have to work for the marriage you wish to have. You have to communicate clearly, be kind, be compassionate, make compromises, be open and honest about every facet of the marriage. Make time for civil conversation and spend time together, learn what works and what does not.
Too many people feel to comfortable in today’s society, in just walking out of a marriage, without putting in the hard work to make it work. Nothing in this life comes easy. Everything Good comes with hard work and a desire to succeed. The only time a marriage should fail is abuse of the spouse; mental or physical and infidelity.
Talk to one another, not at each other, and Listen! Love, Sacrifice, kindness, understanding, compromise, communication and devotion.
Take the time to talk and understand the problems, then work to solve each problem with kindness, understanding and compromise.
Make life changes if nessesary to make positive changes in the marriage. A daily walk with God the Father is always a good start.

So my wife and have been married for 26 years! We have been together for like a Total of 30! Children are a product of there environment make sure you make small changes! Explain that you don’t want the young on to hear it! And don’t stop it may take a while!!!

My husband and I didn’t have the easiest start. We married 9 weeks after we met. It was a whirlwind of romantic. I just knew with our first kiss, he was the one.

We experienced pretty heavy stuff including losing one of our kiddos. That kind of stuff can drive a couple apart. It pushed us closer.

We learned that with a strong marriage, boundaries, trust, honesty, respect and especially communication is the necessary tools. Marriage take work to make it work. You can’t do all the legwork by yourself.

My husband often said “teamwork makes DreamWorks”. Corny but true.

Y’all need to remember the big picture you had your eyes on when y’all first married. Little things y’all fought over - that’s you forgetting the big picture.

Some time apart often do wonders. Take a girl vacation, etc. I stay with my in laws often and I love it. He loves it because he gets to focus on his outlet to recharge. We miss each other, of course.

It’s so easy to let little things build over time before it explode a huge fight.

Sound like both of you need a break. Not from each other but from the fights.

Try take time for yourselves. Try go out on a date. Try to look at your husband for the man you married instead of things that pissed you off.

He’s probably hurting just as bad as you are.

Throughout my marriage and all the things I endured with my husband, I had to face my flaws. My faults. I had to realize I’m not as perfect as I’d like to be. And I stopped holding my husband at ridiculously high bar. My husband got faults. And he also is the damnest best dude I’ve ever met. I’m blessed he’s my hubby.

I’m sure you feel that way about your man somewhere deep down.

Gotta clear the little things out of the way… clean up the negative feelings, thoughts, etc. Focus on why you married him. Who he is. He probably repeated his mistakes because he didn’t have time to learn from his mistakes. Step away and let him figure things out his way. I was awful at it. I’d tell him to do that and this, my way before I realized just because my way worked for me didn’t mean it would for him. When I did stepped away - he was able to work things out his ways and came out better for it.

Marriage does take alot of work from both.

It will never work for as long as there’s 2 people. Marriage united the 2 people. The 2 people became 1. Your marriage also need unity. (Y’all still need your own life too, your own individuality).

You mention you have a toddler. That ain’t easy. We have a delightful terror beauty that’s 18 months old. Shes amazing. She also make things incredibly hard. Shes the best lol we love her to bits. Shes the best of both of us.

When we learned how to balance and share responsibilities with her, life sudden become much easier! Like an example - my husband would draw me a bath and make me get in the tub while he take our toddler and play with her, etc.

Balance is important too.

Best of luck to both of y’all. If we can make it work, y’all can too. But. You two need to sit down and have a discussion as adults about what you two want out of life. Together. If you two feel you can’t make it, try counseling. Counseling is awesome!

If all fail.

Don’t use your child as a weapon against each other. That child still need both of you. Y’all have responsibility to your child to maintain unity and respect.

Our marriage, despite everything we went through is one of the strongest marriages I’ve ever known. I don’t want anyone else but my husband.

All because we believe in each other. We have faith. That we’d make it.

Marriage is a lot of work. With the right person, it’s worth all the hard work.

Find your faith again.

Communication is a large part of marriage. I hope he was your best friend before you married him. It is work, but I’ve been with my husband since 1987…We were friends 4seven years before I fell in love with him. I’m so blessed he waited for me to mature enough to make a life long partnership. We had our ups and downs, even wanting to leave sometimes. I knew I would never find a man who was the love of my life a day best friend.

I comprise, and I get my way sometimes. I sometimes think I’m 5 years will I even remember this. I’ve been said wait before we continue to argue obdrt