I am unsure if I want to send my kids to school this year: Advice?

So can somebody please give some advice? So I have 3 and 4 y/o girls. They are SUPPOSED to be starting school on August 10th. I just finished all paperwork today and turned everything in, so they are really good to go. BUT as it gets closer, I’m having second thoughts; my three y/o is our last baby. My four y/o went to preschool last year, but it was virtual, so she was always at home with me. I also have two older kids, but they are excited about school. My four y/o says she’s excited but IDK if she realizes yet that she will be away from me all day. She always looks for me, like wanting to know where I’m at in the house like stuck up my butt sometimes, lol. My three y/o kinda knows about school because she was always on the zoom session when my four y/o was doing her work last year. She wasn’t like on. She was just interested and got mad cuz it wasn’t her doing it. I know education is important, but I feel like I’m not ready to send them. I didn’t have to sign them up this year. It was my choice, but as the school start date gets closer, I feel like I want to change my mind. Has anyone else felt that way? Please don’t make me sound crazy, lol. I thought I would just send them to see how it goes, but I’m not sure; please help!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I want to send my kids to school this year: Advice?

Are they going every day?

I felt the same way with my girls because they are so attached to me. But I figured if it wasn’t now, it would only get worse. It was a tough first year but we got through it and they both love school!

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They dont need to go unless you feel they are behind. My 3 yr old was definitely not ready but at 4 she was…

If you are unsure then don’t send them. You shouldn’t put them at risk. Your own critical thinking is all that’s needed. Others opinions including my own shouldn’t sway you.

It will be good for them to get a headstart. To see how school works. Be able to socialize in a classroom like setting. It will make it easier for them when they start K. For most children it helps way more than it henders. If they or you don’t like it you are always able to pull them out and wait longer. Give it a chance

I feel you Mama. I’m a stay at home m mom with a background of being a teacher aid for a daycare previously (I put my two weeks notice in in March of 2020) I have enrolled my oldest who is four into preschool as well. I stayed at home with him for a year and 4 months so far. Through that year I homeschooled them as much as could. That whole time he was just been with his brother was 2 years younger than him. Love that i know they are professionals and they know exactly what my child needs more than I do. I also know that he needs interaction with children his age and instead of a younger brother. I don’t want to hold him back from growing and learning. My teaching can only go so far because I don’t have a degree. Teachers actually know a lot more than I do because they have a degree and they’ve been teaching for so long. It’s nice to know that they have the experience. It’s going to be hard but I know that I also need the time to myself and time for one-on-one with my youngest. I want him to thrive. It’s hard but I feel like I’m doing the best for my oldest. I also got a little motivation by talking to a very close family friend about her sending her boy to preschool. How he flourished and how he got so excited about learning. Also how he really benefited going to preschool. So that made me feel like I’m doing the right thing. I really hope this helps because I understand is hard sending your babies to school.

Maybe give it a try & just see how you all feel after a few weeks? You can always take them out & try again next year if it doesn’t work for you. Good luck Mama :blush:

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The fact that your 4 year old always looks for you and needs to know where you are is the exact reason she would greatly benefit from daycare. Kindergarten will be right around the corner, and putting your kid in Prek around 4 prepared them immensely for it.


As a mom and I try to be involved in my kids education as much as possible even it’s volunteering in the school some way to me and my point of view it’s important to have them in the school they get to socialize with other children learn to become independent in different way yea I know it’s a scary time but also remember states and local health agency’s has protocols in places for the best interest of the kids. Now if they are high health risk yea I would put that into your decision, but also think schools teachers help make our kids smart independent and learn life skills even early on in school years. It’s your choice but look at it in all views as well.

What school starts that young? Just wait for kindergarten

It is hard but they need the socialization. Give it a couple of months you can always pull them out of it does not go well.

Ask the teacher if she needs a classroom volunteer. It was really helpful to me to see how their school day went. Sadly, they stopped wanting parent volunteers in middle school.

Some of these questions on this site are ridiculous.


Time to let them go mama. They can’t stay by ur side forever


send them. itll be good for them n it will give them a chance to learn to be independent and socialize with other kids and make friends.

As a preschool teacher, it is so important to send your child to preschool! Aside from any academic things they will learn, the social emotional development is what’s important!
Definitely send them. You will be fine. Your children will be fine (there will be an adjustment time of about a month).

Preschool is great for young minds and they will be busy learning and not look for you too much, but will certainly miss you! I would start out with part time until everyone adjusts! :heart:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I want to send my kids to school this year: Advice?

The only advice i have is try it out. So i have a clingy boy who had to go nursey for work commitments. I hated leaving him. But now he loves it. Give them 1 or 2 weeks to try it out. See how you feel.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I want to send my kids to school this year: Advice?

I’ve made this decision both ways. Sent and kept at home another year. Different children. Different needs. Just make sure if you decide not to, you do it for them and not you, as hard as that is lol cause you’ll never be ready mama!


I’m a sahm feeling the same way sorta separation anxiety even more with this whole pandemic going on my twin boys will be going to 1st grade all day starting in August and I’ve never been away from them. I I’m just so scared for them with everything going on.

Keep them home another year, they’re only little once. I was blessed to be able to be a sahm, it’s time you’ll never get back. If you’re able, school can wait.


It is sooo good for them to learn and socialize. They will benefit so much from it. I have my 27weeker starting prek in August and I am sooo happy for him. He came soooo far and I’m so excited for him to make friends and get so much more than I can give him. Let’s be honest, you won’t be ready next year either. Just do it and get it started and let them get that experience

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I never sent my kids tell I had to,I taught them at home.School can be rough I wanted them to be older,It seems they want them in school younger and younger.

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I’m struggling with this right now. My 4 yr old has been going 4 hours a day/3 days a week since last August but this August he’ll start going Monday-Friday for 6 hours a day/5 days a week. I also don’t have to send him but so far the pre school he’s done has been so so good for him. He just thrives. So we’re just doing it. I also feel as if he really needs this year full time to be able to really adjust to kindergarten.

I was soo nervous sending my youngest to Pre-K but she loved it and I cried the first few weeks but we all adjusted! It was definitely the best choice!! I cried when my oldest went to kindergarten also lol It’s always hard the first few weeks! Do what you feel is best and follow your heart!! :purple_heart::purple_heart: I do think sending them Pre-K helps with the adjustment to Kindergarten though! My oldest is 13 youngest is 8

My 2 teenage grand kids will still be home schooled

We attempted 3 times to stary my son and he was not ready even at 6 his was so not ready i had been a stay at home mom he had never been away from me long so a couple weeks in i chose to tske him back out yes… He was a late bloomer but even his teacher said it was by far the best choice i could have made he started the next year and loved it

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I didn’t want to send my daughter to kindergarten back in the day, but I did. It’s just nerves. Once the child is there after a few days/ weeks it feels perfectly normal.
I think it is normal for a parent to have nerves/fears about this kind of thing :slightly_smiling_face:

It’s good for them to learn to be away from you, to be with other kids their ages, and for you too!
It’s also an easier transition for them when they go to school early, opposed to never leaving your side until it’s time for kindergarten.


You can always do some sort of ‘homeschool’ type thing. My mom didn’t put me in school untill I was 6 buy she did alot of learning things with me a few years up to that point :blush:.

it sounds like your having an issue letting go…preschool is great for kids! and its only a few hours a day.

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I was SO SCARED of the separation anxiety when I put my little in pre-K last year so I understand :heart:

But it was the best thing FOR HER. I hope you figure it out momma.

From a kindergarten teachers point of view, I would send your 4 year old to preschool! The more social skills they learn, the more independent and successful they will be once real school starts. Also, maybe send your 3 year old too, at least a half a day, for the same reasons.


I do not relate. I’m ready for my kids to be 3 :unamused: they’re SO smart but they get bored easy and get destructive and fight with each other a lot my 6 year old already completed kindergarten and isn’t as bad as her 2 year old twin siblings but needless to say school screams for me


I’m a preschool/ headstart teacher and I know you are worried! But it will be best to get them in school and get them around other children and get ready for when they go to kindergarten!

If you feel like they are ready,they should go,it will be good for them.

Keep them home if your having doubts. You can always do “homeschooling” with them to prepare them


They are quite young to be going to school,

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I didn’t send mine until they were 5/6 yrs old and then because of terrible schools and extenuating circumstances I ended up home schooling . If you don’t have to then I wouldn’t .

Meh honestly imo it’s too young.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I want to send my kids to school this year: Advice?

I kept my girl home last year instead of sending her to prep because she didn’t even turn 4 until 3 weeks after school started. I didn’t think she was ready and that she was really young. I’m sending her this year. She needs it. They will be okay mama.

You are not crazy. Your an amazing mother and I’ve raised 3 awesome kids. All 3 are awesome adults now.
I would keep your 3 and 4 yr old children at home. Continue online with their school. The world pushes are babies to grow up so fast. Please keep them close one more year. Kids need to be kids.
Your gut is telling you keep them close. Please follow your heart.
Love Love Love with all you have. For as long as you can.
I miss the days that my babies were younger. Love carried us through so much.
Your awesome. Be happy.

Completely understandable and relatable. If I could keep them home I would. My daughter’s 4 and I don’t want to send her but I have to go back to the office. This past year I was doing work with her every day. As good as school, minus the everyday friends. You should do whatever makes your family comfortable and safe while helping them excel.

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I have 3 kids. My daughter is 16, my boy’s are 11, 12. My 11 year old is like that. He ALWAYS has to know where I am. And he has a mood disorder, ADHD, ODD and is Dyslexic. But they all go to school just fine. Even with all the mess from virtual and back to school! Yours are younger. It might be good to let them go and be around friends. That way, when they do need to go, they will be used to it. Just my opinion. My boy’s both went to preschool. My oldest boy, for 2 years and my youngest one year. But they were in the same preschool class. So it made it a little easier.

I’ve decided against sending my 3 year old this year… my older son went two years and I felt like he was bored threw the second year so I’ve decided to just keep my little one home this year and he can go next year

As hard as it to send them, try to look at it as what is best for them. It’s ok to keep them hone if that is what is best for them and not just b/c you fear it may be hard for them or you. There are many moments in life that will be hard for parents but are best for the kids

Your little ones start early here in Australia kids normally don’t start till the year they turn 5 unless their birthday is after July first then they start January of the next year. I know with my boy he had a lot of problems adjusting to school after living most of his life with just me and hubby working on farms but he had an amazing kindergarten teacher abd she made a huge difference! If you think she is educationally ready but not emotionally ready you can always have a good talk to the teachers at the school before hand to see how they will handle the situation if she does get upset having a plan with the teachers has been super helpful with my boy.

let them be little . thell be in school for a long time .

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I’m not there yet (1.5 m) but I’m sure I’ll feel the same way

I’m having the same thoughts. My little girl will be 3 in October and is down to start nursery in January. I just dont think I want her to go especially not 5 days a week. It would only be afternoons but i think once they start 5 days they are there for a long time and shes only this little once. I’m lucky in that she comes to work with me, I’m a dog walker, so shes always doing something. She is clever so from an education point of view shes learning enough not being in nursery. It’s when everyone around me who has small people keeps saying how their little ones are either already in nursery or soon going I think should she???

I started daycare it’s my kids when they were 2 so they learned to socialize with other kids and start to prepare to understand rules of the classroom. My oldest did great and had no issues transitioning to kindergarten and knew more than she needed to start and my 3 year old is still in daycare and learns so much every day. I see no reason to keep them home unless financially it’s an issue bc unless it’s public school it can get super pricey

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Sorry I’m genuinely curious how a 3 year old is even going to school yet ?
I’m in canada and kids don’t start school till the year they turn 5.
( like my daughter started when she was 4 but turned 5 in June )

The toughest job we will ever teach our children is how to live without us.

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Don’t get me wrong…I love my kids but I couldn’t wait to send them to school 🤷 they were learning and I was happy… especially when they went to kindergarten all day. I didn’t send my son to preschool though but that was more a money issue than when my girls were little…

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Unfortunately,I understand the emotions you as the parent have,but this ain’t about you. it’s about your kids getting the education they need, they shouldn’t definitely go to school, the sooner you break the attachment,they better they’ll be and you’ll be. You don’t need them screaming their heads off or causing fits as they get older cause they’d rather be at home with you and that’s what you want to. My nephew were always around their momma constantly stuck up her butt,she couldn’t do anything or go anywhere, or even out fo their sights without then throwing a fit. It was ridiculous. Once they were put into school, they loved it,got to be around kids their own ages,communicate and learn with other kids. They did really well In school surprisingly,and we thought it would be a hell fest cause they wouldn’t be around their momma. Not to mention she dont discipline them so they get away and do whatever they want. They did great at school got along well and followed what the other kids did in terms of minding and doing what the teacher asked and everyone in the family was scared of that cause of how they were raised at home. Don’t keep your kids home because you’re scared to be without them. They need to be around kids their age and start learning like the others.

There is nothing wrong with keeping your babies at home with you until you absolutely have to send them with you. Maybe see about a compromise and send them 2-3 days a week? Kinda wean the kids and yourself into it. Most preschools will do arrangements like that to help offset their cost, bc they’ll have enough kids to fill the other weekdays your kids wouldn’t be there

Why not just wait until.they are 5 and start kindergarten…

Wait till they’re 5, give the infants a little time to learn how to stand up before rushing them into school.

You have to do what is best for your children not what’s easier on you in terms of emotional. Kids need the interaction and its great for their development. It always keeps them on a consistent schedule. Helps them to separate home and school life etc. Let them go learn, have fun, make friends and you take the extra time for self care or anything else you may have in mind.

It’s understandable to feel this way and it is new for all of use and can be very daunting but think of the positives, the children get to learn, get to make new friends and develop new relationships with children/teachers, they learn that’s it’s ok to be away from mummy, it gives u time without the kids to work or make meals/do house work/catch up with friends ect. I personally think school is good to get them into a good routine aswell. If u feel the children aren’t ready yet then ofcourse keep them home :heart:

They’ll be fine. Better learning more opportunities for them. Social interaction with kids their age.

I’m native american, and I am trying to decolonize my life and my family and heal trauma, and I’m not sure if anyone has seen it, but in the US and Canada, they found mass graves of indigenous babies at boarding schools all across North America. My own experience with the education systems were very horrible and traumatizing, and I was one of the most intelligent students in my class. I’m focusing more on a traditional lifestyle, and that does not include sending my children away every day of the week in a world that does not, and has not ever, respected the lives of children, and it’s not just indigenous children, but all children. Also, our oldest son is now 15, he’s on the autism spectrum and he’s nonverbal. It came out that when he was 13, he was being assaulted by a teacher. We only found out because he started acting out, he started exhibiting signs of abuse. My kids are homeschooled, and they are always with their family, where we know they’re safe. Traditional indigenous society focused heavily on community, family, and between women and mothers, sisterhood. We are all mothers, all children are our responsibility, their safety and health is everyone’s responsibility, but that’s not how it is in colonialistic society, so we’ve removed ourselves from it as much as we could. Your instincts are to protect your babies, and they’re not wrong.