I’ve never been the way I have with my spouse with anyone else. I let my guard down and built a home with him. I’ve always been insecure and only had one other guy make me feel beautiful. For five years, I’ve been trying hard not to let things with my spouse bother me … it’s my weakness. My insecurities. I know him. I love him. I know what he likes. But when I see the woman he looks at, I feel disgusting. I’m not exactly a pretty girl and very much a vulgar tomboy. I have no understanding as to why he likes me. I’m used to guys being infatuated with me, but the feeling usually fades. I feel so gross in my body when I know he will not look like the gorgeous girl with the wicked body. I thought eventually I would feel better, but I don’t. His words of reassurance do nothing for me. He’s treated me great. He loves me. He compliments me. But I know I’m never gonna be the girl he brags about… about how pretty I am because I’m not. I love him sooo much. But I’d almost rather be single and lusted after than be the familiar one, the one who doesn’t get looked at… after the honeymoon phase fades, I always get to feel like a piece of furniture, and I ditch. But I love this man. Five years and two kids later, I can’t seem to get over my insecurities, and I’m hurting both of us. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I really just want to feel good about myself. I don’t know how to do that in a relationship. I’m never gonna be like the girls he looks at. I’d rather be by myself than feel this way with someone. But I love him. I love my family. Please help.
You must love yourself in order to deal with your feelings with your husband. He loves you and what you look like otherwise he wouldn’t have married you. Therapy might help you deal with your insecurities.