tell the old bat to go fuck herself thats your home she doesnt need to come into your house and stay away from hers tell your husband to grow a pair
I had to cut some family out of my life because of how bad they treated me. Itâs hard but you have to think of yourself first.
1 Like
I went through something like this and it continued to happen until I just got tired and started treating mil the same exact way she treated me. If hubby doesnât like it send him home to mommy
2 Likes
If you canât cut them out, then no other thing to do but leave
1 Like
Record her next session!!
When I do not trust someone whom is known for going off, I always have my recording on from my cellphone.
1 Like
She threw something at you. Restraining order against her on your property. Her violence will only escalate possibly transferring to your children. Protect yourself since your husband wont
3 Likes
Honey I dealt with that for 28 years ur mental health is the most important thing I am still trying to move on from that toxic family I still have a ways to go u feel so alone I wish u luck but if I was u I would get out of that marriage if your husband doe
1 Like
I would go to friends or families house for a few weeks to a month. I would explain how you feel to him. If he chooses to protect and stand up for you then Iâd go back and give it one more chance.
1 Like
My husband and I cut ties with his family. Best decision ever!
1 Like
She sounds narcissistic.
She was definitely gaslighting you
1 Like
Ok so i went through this for 10 years. I tolerated it because I wanted my husband to have his family. One day my husband snapped and cut them off. Itâs been almost 4 years and we are soooo much happier. We have seen his mum the last year and a half but no one else. He made that decision and I am glad he did as I probably would have ended up leaving otherwise. Was so draining
2 Likes
If your husband was there and saw that shizz guess what?? He will not get up to defend you. EVER!! He will sit there and let mommy get away with shizz.
Pack your bags and move on. This will only get worse and hubs will just stand by and let it. Because he does not know how to stand up to mommy
He needs to help you get control of this manipulator or your life will be hell. She feels the need to be in control of her son at all times and I feel for you. Talk with your husband NOW! bEST WISHES TO YOU!
1 Like
Itâs always about psychology, everyone here telling you that your husband needs to âman upâ and set his mother straight are forgeting that he was raised under this womans dysfunction, he cannot be objective or healthy in his approach to any problems with her, however his psychological platform is possibly treatable-- hers is far less likely, you should keep you and your children away from that dysfunction
6 Likes
From experience it will never get better only worse unless your husband speaks up and sets boundaries, that never happened for me and now my husband has passed away. Itâs a very hard situation to be in, I wish you the best.
3 Likes
Tell your husband to put her in her place
1 Like
Pack his bags and tell him he can move in with his abusive mother
3 Likes
First of all husband needs to stand up to her then if that doesnât work move out of state for you and the family
5 Likes
Stand up for yourself. I have had to deal with my husbands family for years. Now that heâs gone they disowned me unless they want something. Itâs not all my fault God made assholes.
I no no why folks move so close to in-laws it b nothing but heâll yâall ladies no your men not gonna take up for u over they mommyâŠitâs boys thing it wonât work âŠmove away from the with that causes problems âŠ
1 Like
you come first, you are his wife, his mother is important but has no right to treat you badly. Up to him to stop it and stand firm
5 Likes
Stay away from her she shows up get your baby and leave
3 Likes
Did your husband defend you when his mum went to throw something at you??? If he didnât then he never will⊠i went through this for 16 years but Iâm not one to sit there and take it so i used to go back at her because my husband never defended me or his children⊠it took 16 years for me to leave, please donât wait that long, get out as soon as you can
7 Likes
this will be your life till your mil dies, your hubs dies or you die⊠shes not going to stop & your hubs is enabling her behavior by not stopping the bullyingâŠ
2 Likes
You and your husband need to become a United front and put your foot down or it wonât end or you will have to leave. You canât just sweep it under the rug.
1 Like
Classic narcissism. Just know That she will never change and the abuse will never stop. Iâm afraid you have a hard choice in front of you 
1 Like
Sounds like a gaslighter. Heâs probably used to it growing up and has just accepted it. Iâd put my foot down and I certainly would stop letting her get away with it to keep the peace. Itâs why she escalated with you. You were easy prey.
1 Like
I would be livid if my husband wouldnât stand up for me against his mom. Either tell your husband to put her on her place or you are out. You are his family now you are his priority not his mother. Donât let her in your house itâs your house kick her out or call the police if she isnât respecting your boundaries. Stand up for yourself if she is rude to you be rude itâs not like she is respecting you anyway. He needs to cut the cord and be a man and stand up for his wife.
it is possible to leave your mother in law, just donât go near her and if she comes over just leave and take your child with you
3 Likes
It happened to me, not once, not twice infront of my husbandâŠmany times. I walked away because I realised my husband couldnât try to protect me. It was not worth it.
Leave. U. Dont. Need. This
He is Married to you, Not his Mother.Wish you could recorded her for proof . That is Insane. That is your Home not hers. Stop it now You deserve Respect and not a Narcisses.
Tell your husband to deal with it or you go.
2 Likes
Tell Hubby he married you not his momma. That if he wonât set her right the he can live with her until he gets his priorities straight. He made his vows to you that he put you to be #1 in his life and not his mommy.
6 Likes
Your husband should have never allowed her to verbally abuse you or throw something at you. She had no right in your house! You donât have to allow toxic people in your life, family or notâŠ
2 Likes
If you hubby doesnât have your back then I think you already know what to do
4 Likes
My dad told me before I got married your spouse should stand up for you even against family. He said even if he (my dad) were to say something bad heâd want my spouse to stand against him to protect me.
Only you can determine if you want your spouse to defend you against all. He shouldnât let anyone (even his mom) to hurt you.
2 Likes
If your husband is it defending you and doing anything to stop his motherâs abuse toward you, then nothing will change. She will continue to mistreat you and abuse you. Your husband should be defending you and protecting you. If heâs not and wonât then you need to Leave. You deserve better. Your child doesnât need to see any of that. Maybe leaving him will make him grow up and be a man and defend his wife against his abusive mother.
tell Hubby the only way for you to move on is to move away from the area. Folks can come visit and you will put them up in a hotel-------or you can go visit and stay in a hotel. Just tell them the kids love the swimming pool.
You can give him the option of hard work in therapy bc subjecting your family to someone who does this is forcing abuse on them. Or you can start planning to get out⊠document everything she says and does. Put up cameras in communal areas since sheâs a liar so if sheâs in your home youâre covered. Good luck bc if your husbands not willing to stand up to his parents about bad behavior itâll never get better.
1 Like
Um. Cutting them out is possible? Is it your family or not? Stand your ground.
You look at your husband and tell him to either stand up to his mother and defend his family without exception, or yâall will be gone. And if she donât stop her shit then he should cut her off. It is possible. It is not her little family. It is yours. Take control mama. Good luck
It is VERY possible to cut them out!!
Did/ Does husband stand up for you or ignore it??..
Set your boundaries and stand your ground!!
Let husband go over there for whatever reason he is invited and you go to your family or friends, or even spend that day as a Mommy and me treat⊠you shouldnât hold your bat shit crazy psycho MIL against your husbandâŠ
Sounds like you need a mother in law intervention meaning finnally stand up to her & be done with her for good, u Certainly dont deserve to be treated like that from her or anyone & the way she treats/ talks to u I would not put up with any more of her shit or any of her drama and anything else that comes with her and as far as your husband divorcing him & his whole side of his family is whatâs in your best interest,it will save u your loving heart, sanity, self respect esteem, heartache ,& more to add. good luck & now think of yourself & be well. 
He can spend time with her at her house. I wouldnât let her come to my house whatsoever
3 Likes
You can so cut her out of your life.
What everyone said above 
1 Like
Get some counseling to learn the best ways to deal with MIL. Is there a father in law in the picture? Often belittling behavior is because she hates or fears something about herself so she uses you as a target for her unhappiness to bring you down to where she feels sheâs at.
Talk to a counselor to find out how you can get to the real problem under her unkind behavior. Does she feel purposeless not having her son to care for anymore? Does she feel unloved because of divorce or widowhood? Is she terrified of getting old and infirm? Does she think sheâs a bad person in some or many respects? It would be great if you could get her to go to therapy, but she has to be willing.
See if you can get her involved in something meaningful to her to give her purpose, and to focus on something other than you and hubs. âHurt people hurt people.â Does she feel alone? Get her involved with seniors groups, activities for all ages, a seniors dating site (go over safety measures first). Once she is happy with herself she will be happy with you.
I recommend giving her name & number to different organizations: tell people at the church/religious institution she identifies with to call her and invite her to serve on a committee, help plan an event, teach Sunday School, be a greeter or lector, or whatever they need that sheâd be suited for. Call the library, Red Cross, animal shelter, schools, and ask them to invite her to volunteer for something specific and say they got her info from one of her friends or acquaintances, but because of privacy issues they canât say who. Or say someone left her name as a great person for (specific opportunity) but didnât leave their name. Even if she is pissed because she thinks itâs you, the organization would still value her contributions and they should remind her of that.
If one of her friends is involved in a cause or activity, see if her friend could convince her to do whatever it is with her/him. Maybe pay for an âEvents and Adventuresâ type membership/subscription where sheâd have her choice of kayaking, concerts, plays, dances, wine tastings, historical tours, dinners, bowling, trips, etc. to choose from to add fun to her life. Maybe yâall or one of her friends could join and go with her until sheâs comfortable signing up and going to things by herself.
Sheâll make friends and get to know the âregulars,â and organizers should be making it easy to meet and talk to others in the group/s with ice breakers and suggestions. Or how about a book group? Iâd keep it to in-person programs with COVID safety precautions vs online, as that still can feel lonely and time unconnected. Have her work with underprivileged people so she learns to feel grateful for the blessings she has.
If sheâs resistant and refuses any suggestions and just wants to remain miserable, it may be time to cut her off from you & kid/s. Hubs can spend time with her on his own.
Why can she enter your home? Yâall need to take her key away. Talk with your counselor to help you decide if itâs worth a divorce or not.
Get marriage counseling also to get a third party professional to ask your husband why heâs not defending you. Probably conditioned all his life to acquiesce but he needs to learn as an adult how to be separate from his mom and stand up to her.
Iâm sorry. This has got to be so stressful. Hopefully you can be a catalyst for change.
Your husband is the only one, other than you, that can take up for you.
I had similar issues with my now ex-sister-in-law. My ex husband wouldnât deal with it, so I finally blew up on her in front of his whole family.
Unfortunately, you will probably have to give your husband an ultimatum on this. Good luck mama!
1 Like
Set up a camera, and set her upâŠor press charges. Iâd not take that crap. Have a recording device onâŠif your kids will testify have them do it. Idk be one step ahead.
5 Likes
Your husband should have put a stop to his mother doing that to you the first time it happened, especially if your child is seeing such abuse at such a young age itâs the most toxic environment for your child to be around.
You need to make it clear to your husband that the way his mother is treating you is wrong and abusive, and if he wants your marriage to last she will have to be either cut out or you walk because heâs also at fault for excusing it and letting it happen by not doing anything about it.
Boundaries need to be set but from the sounds of things your ready to leave and I donât blame you! The way your being treated is not something that will be easy to get over let alone if you continue with the marriage⊠you will just learn to accept it cause you will be to exhausted to fight back.đ„Č
2 Likes
You are being gaslit and abused. Iâd think real hard if this man who isnât standing up for you is the right one or not.
1 Like
Get a restaining order against her. She abused you by throwing an object at you. She came uninvited into your home! Get a protective order against her! Hubby is a grown man. He will have to chose which side he wants to live with. Be a man and stay with his wife and kids or move out and run back to mommy dearest! He is free to visit her over there at her house, any time. But she is not BY LAW, able to come to your house. If she doesâŠcall the cops!
2 Likes
Of course you can cut them out ⊠get a restraining order she canât come within x amount of feet from you is best and if your hubby defends her then he is just as bad get rid of the lot if there not defending you
1 Like
I was married for 15 years when I separated from my husband for almost the same reason.
It went on for far too long and enough was enough. I finally gave up and realized me putting someone elseâs needs above my own was wrong. I donât know why I wanted to put others happiness above my own but I was miserable.
When I finally decided to leave, she cried and boo hooed and tried to make it somehow about her.
I put my foot down and said exactly this, âI could understand if I was a bad person, a bad wife, a bad mother- but I am neither. Mistakes? Everyone makes them, but none of the ones Iâve made have justified your actions. Enough is enough. I love my family, but itâs time to put an end to unnecessary drama and if that means just giving it time until things heal? Thatâs what Iâll do to make sure we come out of thisâ
That was February of last year. I moved into my own place. We coparent. Weâre keeping our options open for the future with no expectations. No mess. No fuss. And yes, it is that simple. The world makes you believe it isnât.
Sometimes people canât be told whatâs wrong, they have to figure it out on their own, see it for themselves, and in this case, as was my own, take the reins and steer clear of her.
You donât have to speak to her or be around her to get along. Go the other way when she tries something. Your husband somehow feels caught in the middle, even though he shouldâve put a stop to it, set boundaries from the beginning, and found common ground before all of this escalated. Then the best thing he can do now is to deal with her on his own. Thatâs when the toxic will spill over to him, cause nobody can hide their true nature for long, and heâll understand your point of view.
If she throws a fit with these boundaries- make sure to calmly record and let her know her actions wonât be tolerated any longer. The only thing youâre asking is what everyone else wants. Common courtesy and respect, itâs not too much to ask and itâs priceless to be kind to others. If she canât do that, then she doesnât deserve your company. No special treatment. No more enabling. Period.
1 Like
Stand up to her! That is YOUR home, she has absolutely no right to enter your home and treat you like crap. Make that clear to her. Call her out on her bs every single time. I say this out of love and support, GROW A PAIR! The more you let it continue, the worse it will get.
3 Likes
Stand up for your self grab her by the balls she will wimp out
If he is not willing to put his mom in her place, leaving may be your only option. He should be sticking up for you. I also wouldnât put up with it. She wants to throw shit, throw shit right back. Kick her ass out of YOUR house and donât allow her back in until she apologizes and learns to respect you.
1 Like
I donât know if youâre Christian or believe in the Lord but
Genesis 2:23-24
And remind your husband where his spot is.
Hubby is the issue here, thatâs his mom and he needs to handle itâŠ
1 Like
As you said if you canât copeâŠdo what you know you need to do.
1 Like
Sheâs not going to change abs everything is just going to be getting brushed under the rug
Itâs difficult but donât make extreme changes in your life when you are angry.
Your hubby doesnât know what to do anymore abs probably not confrontational so he just feels like time will pass and we can just forgive and forget.
He cannot control her but what he can do is set boundaries and not engage with her as in go to her house and do family events if she continues to behave like a abusive crazy MIL. If she wants her son in her life then she needs to respect you as his wife.
3 Likes
He should be having your back! And why does she have access to a key to yalls home? Just cause she is is mother doesnt mean she can disrespect u especially in ur own home. Hit her back call her names let her see how it feels. Me personally id leave if your husband isnt having your back!
1 Like
You canât cope
You shouldâve gave to cope with this. Your hubby is also in the wrong here.
1 Like
Change the locks and take out a restraining order. Cut her out of your lives
If you canât cut her out of your life, and I donât understand that, simply walk away every time she starts abusing you. Donât come back till sheâs gone. Your husband needs to grow a backbone and stand up for you!
3 Likes
It is so hard When they think they are so right ,an ones husband doesnt have your back . She is just doing it to take your power away , sAY NOTHING AN JUST PLAY THE GAME IF YOU ARE AROUND HER THAT MAKES THEM STOP COMING UP WITH ANY COMMENTS ⊠Its your family an your life if only she would move on ⊠I got mine out of my life years ago ⊠An only my husband took the children to visit her was along time ago ⊠GOOD LUCK TAKE CARE 
What you can do is cut her off, immediately. No more contact. That goes for your children as well. She will poison them against you in the long run (happened to me with an abusive now ex-MIL) and my ex never took my side, even though clearly the woman was abusive. If sheâs abusive to you then you cease all contact. Period. No explanations. You donât owe her any. If she has keys to your home, change your locks. Draw a HARD line on that. Your spouse needs counseling because heâs clearly the product of a narcissistic mother and he canât see it or doesnât know how to get himself off the crazy train. Thereâs no such a thing as a relationship with a narcissist person. They see people as possessions and feel entitled to do and say as they please with anyone . You canât change her but you can 100% remove yourself from that situation. File a report against her for domestic violence because thatâs exactly what she did when she threw something at you in front of your child, oh hell no. Sheâs abusive to your child too, emotionally and psychologically by subjecting the child to be a witness to her reckless violent behaviors and absolute lack of self control.
Document her abuse of you. You donât even have to tell your husband you are documenting it. Then file a personal protection order stating she cannot be at your home or near you. After that tell your husband he has a choice. Make changes so you arenât bullied and abused anymore or you will leave him. If he doesnât agree go file for custody of the kids and leave.
2 Likes
My husbandâs grandmother when I met her ask him about his ex he told her I donât know and this called my name is who iâm with I shook her hand because I did not try or have to get her approval because he loved me.
Your husband needs to grow some balls and have your back. Get your keys of that woman, tell her she isnât welcome to your home and have nothing to do with her. If you must deal with her be civil, but if she starts being a asshole tell her where to stick her attitude and leave the situation.
I suggest reading about codependency between a mother and son. Educate yourself about the situation and how to set boundaries with toxic in laws and your husband. Empower yourself. You deserve respect and love. The day you got married, you and your husband committed to putting each other first but in this selfish and toxic dynamic, no one is putting you first. Donât neglect yourself anymore.
1 Like
Your husband shouldnât be letting his mother treat you that way.
2 Likes
Oh he needs to stand up for you!! He needs to take your side! My husband did and we refused to see his mom and step dad for a year because his step dad is an alcoholic and I became his target. Refuse to visit. Tell him he can go alone. Do not go or let your child go. I am sorry your husband isnât man enough to stand up to his mother!
2 Likes
Nope. Cut her off. If she shows up unannounced donât let her in. Your partner should not brush this aside especially with this happening in front of a child. You are his wife. He needs to protect and stand beside you.
3 Likes
Hate to say this but anything you do or say will make it worse. This actually needs to be dealt with by your husband who is completely disrespecting you and disregarding your feelings by not putting a stop to it or letting his mum know he will cut contact with her if she doesnât stop. Is your husband actually really that great if he letâs a member of his family abuse you .
3 Likes
So thankful I havenât had this happen. My hubbyâs mom wanted to start something and he said stop because if I have to choose I am choosing my wife. That was the end of it.
4 Likes
Privately video tape her when she is abusing you. Then show the video to your husband and state if he doesnât do something about this you and the kids are leaving! Kids donât need to be seeing that crap!!!
3 Likes
Tell him what you just said (or you can show him). There is no way someone is going to walk into my house without permission (this is known as breaking and entering) and then throwing stuff at you (this is called assault).
Still not taking you seriously after telling/showing you? Press charges on his mom. You would win 100% and could even get a restraining order on her along with criminal charges (ps if you donât show up for trial they will dismiss it on her).
Guarantee she will never do it again. Guarantee your husband will prevent it from ever happening again. Itâs sad you would have to go through those lengths but I would not stand by and do nothing. Your husband should 100% defend you mom or no mom.
Sounds like hes a big mommas boy. That is sorry sorry of him to not take up for you. Leave asap abd dont look back. Only let her see your child when its your convenience and have certain days time and if she cant do it then oh well. She doesnt deserve to be in your childs life and she definetly not showing a giid example for being a grama
Myself i would of filed charges right then. And my KIDâS wouldnt be involved in that situation period! What a grandmađȘ
I guess I was lucky. My Mother In Law was better than my husband. I had a good Mother in Law, but I canât say that about the husband.
I agree with you, it truly sounds as though it is over with you &, your husbands parent/s. You may need to move on & just leave all behind you. Sometimes one has to accept that. However, very important for you to remember, do not expect your husband &/or small children if, your husband is the biological father of them, to follow after you.or feel as u do. You are saying you can not handle or try & resolve this between you & his parent/s. He is his own person & so do children have their own little minds. Children deserve rights also, they are jus little human beings. They need their Daddy, they need their grandparent/s. I never heard one issue of the grandparent/s abuse to anyone oh yeah, u claimed she about threw somethingâŠ? Iâd guarentee you she loves her Son, her grandchildren &, no doubt loves U also. I honestly donât feel sheâd still be trying to reason w/you if, you wete the 100% innocent in all this.Also believe the man U married would not jus b brushing all this off if it were truly an issue as your claiming.? Grandparents not going to jus waste time & energy tryna give their âw/wisdom advice if they do not care & love you allâ. Jus no reason to do such. They may b older, their not dumb. I am certain your kids will continue to live on happily w/their Father & Grandparents. I know itâll be little different for the children u being gone. Iâm sure they love U also but, I really feel itâs all for their best of interest. Gotta praise U on stepping up & admitting you may need to leave &, remove yourself before this could really cause real issues for children & everyone else. From what youâve actually said, u seem to be the only one upset. I kno uâll find ways to continue to keep visits or, Iâd hope so. All the best for each of you
Youâre husband should NOT allow his mother to treat you like that! And if he canât stand up for youâŠyou should stand up for yourself! I know my husband would never allow anyone to treat me that way! At some point enough is enough, and you have to put your foot down!
3 Likes
Separate his relationship with you and his relationship with his mom.
You both donât need to be around each other
1 Like
Sonny-boy needs to man up and put his mother in her place!
3 Likes
Maybe she has a medical mental problem, or sheâs just plain mean.
Tell your husband how you truly feel about it. If he wonât fix it u will get yourself and child out of the situation. U shouldnât have to live in constant fear of someone else and let her go pick on someone her own size. Be frame and stand your group lay down rules
1 Like
Get rid of your wus husband and find yourself a man who isnât scared if his mommie.
8 Likes
If your husband seen her throw stuff at you, that should have been enough right there. She is out and if he is a man, heâll keep her out. Toxic is Toxic and keep your kids away from The old bat too!
3 Likes
Your husband needs to man up! When he left his home and chose you to be his wife and have children with you that makes you his priority!!! Though it may be hard he need to tell his mom to knock it off or stay away! I know everyone wants and need their parents but when itâs toxic thatâs different!
6 Likes
Iâm sorry your husband allows that. I was fortunate my husband didnât tolerate that kinda stuff and he found out his mom called me a bitch. Not even to me, to her husband outside on my patio. I overheard it and he told her to leave our effing house and she wasnât welcome back until she could show me respect.
Your husband should stand up for you. If he canât do that. Well, Iâd suggest leaving. Or her not being allowed at your home.
Also NO ONE has any business busting up in your home unannounced! Family included! Your home is your safe place and just that your home!!! That woman needs to learn some respect I donât care how old she is!!!
8 Likes
Your husband should have your back in any situation, with anyone. I know everyone is different, but I can say with confidence that if his mother came into our home and acted that way, my husband literally would throw her out.
4 Likes
Absolutely not! This lady idgaf who she is had the nerve to come into your home and not only verbally but physically try to attack youâŠthat would be it for me.Disrespect is a deal breaker it doesnât matter who its from.Block her from your life completely and if your husband cant understand why then maybe he needs to go too!
7 Likes
I feel this in my soul
2 Likes
Charge the mother in law and leave your so called husband. If heâs not standing by you or getting rid of his toxic mother heâs a giant pos. Get out and your kids will thank you
5 Likes
He needs 2 leave his mothers side! Im so sorry u have 2 go thru this believe me I definately know what this is like! Its wrong. She sounds very controlling! ID move away! Far awayâŠn he shud b by your side 2âŠthats just wrong! Karma 2 her 4 being so rotten!!! So disrespectful! Your way 2 nice! ID b telling her where 2 go!! 
The whole family should move far away from her.
Dont leave your Husband, cause that what your Mother In Law Wants@ that why she acting like this to you, Your Hubby should be defending you and having a nice little chat to his mum @ not saying to you to move on. Cause if the problrm dont get fixed up with your hubby defending you your mother in law will continue with her abuse towards you
5 Likes
Next time call the cops and teach her the lesson he will not
7 Likes