I can't help but feel cheated

So what I’m getting from this (that so many seem to be failing to understand) is that your mother convinced you until you were convinced it was also your idea. Especially if the thought had never entered your mind till then. So many saying she is an adult and it was her decision too, don’t seem to understand how someone can made to do something or make a decision- based on someone else’s desires (I won’t throw the narc word around but think about it). Have you also all forgot that close after birth - just how vulnerable you actually were? Exhausted - hormones flying around, etc etc baby blues ……

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You chose to have it done. This logic is why women struggle to get fixed all over. You consented to have it done. Ether save up and pay for it yourself or adopt.

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Sue your mother for coercion and make her pay

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I’m so suprised they even let you do that with being so young I have 4 kids and 12 miscarriages and they declined me to have mine done and I have every reason to have my tubes tied im lucky I have children and I’m 35 and they said no wat made them let u have ur tubes tied so yoing as they are quite strict with it

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I had my tubes tied at 23. We done IVF & had my daughter at 32 and then we done a tubal reversal when I was 35 and had boy/ girl twins. Get your Drs note to see how much fallopian tube you have left and then make a decision of the procedure from that. They are both costly. I would do a loan if possible.

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You were legally an adult. You can’t blame your parents.

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Don’t blame your mom. This was your decision. Start saving up money now for the procedure or better yet, an adoption fee. So many children out there that need a home!

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I do have a question though. You were an adult and you are claiming coercion by mom, however you mentioned a husband and you were young. My best friend was married to a man, had 2 kids, and they said they would not tie her tubes without HUSBAND’S consent…So I’m just wondering how tubes were able to get tied. You would have had to made the choice and asked husband to sign off on it. But you also stated you and husband decided for baby #2 BEFORE the surgery…I don’t know. Something is off or missing here.

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I feel you I had to have mine removed during emergency surgery and I feel so cheated too. We both could do ivf but it’s pretty expensive…

Number one , stop blaming your mother . It happened it’s done , move on and figure out next steps maybe talking about it instead of blaming . Mom could help cover expense ,did you get a cash quote for reversing?? Cash price versus insurance is a big diff . These days its all day out patient.
All I know is blaming will get you no where , except miserable :confounded:. Life is short enough without that too
Good luck ,

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I can’t believe you’re Dr agreed at such a young age. I was 28 with 2 kids and my doctor talked me out of it

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You can still get pregnant through IVF. It’s more guaranteed to work than reversal.

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You’re the one who made the final decision to do it. Stop blaming your mother.

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Foster or adopt. You made a choice to have your tubes tied. Instead of paying a ton of money to put my children into an over populate world, help take care of one who is already here.

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Your mom TALKED you into it… she didn’t hold you down n force you. That was your decision. … I wouldn’t of listen to her in the first place. Adoption is always an option

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My mom told my doctor to tie my tubes during my C-section and I said I didn’t want to, so the doctor explained it was my choice and she could not go against it. I’m 26 with 4 kids and I was planning on tying my tunes but seeing how so many people regret it I have to rethink it.

Have your mother pay for it!

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Stop blaming your mom you could’ve said no but you didn’t so stop playing victim you didn’t have enough fucking backbone to say no and stand up for yourself :woman_shrugging:t2:

April Taylor can you share some of
Insight for this girl.

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8 yrs ago my mom talked an talked bout I should get my tubes tied because I had just gave birth to my son an he passed away after delivery I already had a daughter at the time she was 5 today she is almost 14 in a few months long story shorty before I had him I had 2 miscarriages I kept telling her No because even though I went thru all that I new deep down inside I couldn’t do it yet my doctor was willing to let me do it because of all my health issues when I get pregnant but I still said no went on birth control an 3yrs later I got pregnant on the pill it was a very ruff pregnancy I’m not gonna lie high BP diabetes preclapsia migraine but I had my last baby girl she still tried to say I need my tubes tied but then my doctor said I had to wait because my c-section was emergency an the insurance company did approve yet so when they finally did approve I had to wait till I was completely healed to put paper through again I waited an 2yrs later I made the decision my self based on all my pregnancy an what I been thru never wanted to through it again so to say your mom talked you into it I’d like to know where you live at that you were able to do 1 an done most states you have to have at least 2 or 3 an or have lots of health issues to get that done after 1 kid I’m so lost like there more missing to your story

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IVF, your insurance may not cover that either but it bypasses your tubes

I had a tubal reversal after a felopian band (not sure I spelt that correctly) I was 28 and I done my research to be certain I choose the correct doctor!! We had to travel and it did cost a small fortune but 13 years later and we have added 4 little boys to our family. There is hope!! Bless u

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Stop blaming your ultimate decision on others, not a great skill to pass onto kids
Now, make a plan, find out if there is anything you can do to fix the situation But don’t get stuck in the past

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Honestly I’m surprised the doctor would do that. Most women have to fight to get anything done. Your mom should of pushed you towards birth control pills/shot/iud. Not surgery. I would save up the money if you really wanna do the reversal. You can always adopt or foster children.

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IVF I don’t think they need to untie your tubes, I’m not sure, have watched documentaries of other families with similar issues.

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24/25 isn’t “too young” to understand the affects of a tubal ligation

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You made the final decision and were an adult, so stop blaming your mother.

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First you never said how old your child is, and even if you were 16, once you have a baby, your parents have no say in anything, about your care, And if you were old enough to get pregnant you are & were old enough to decide, You were not too young to understand your actions, Sorry. I would go to a clinic , if you have one, explain your ideas & see if they will do it for you basing the amount you would have to pay on your income. And if you do get it, there is no guarantee it will even work, there is a lot of scar tissue & even if they removed it, they will be more scar tissue with the cutting everything out, I know you really want another child, but be happy & grateful with what you have, instead of going thru a lot that might not even work !! It is a thought, I wanted a tubal done back in the late 70’s & NO Dr would do it until after i turned 30, just in case I wanted another one, which I didn’t. I had it done then :slight_smile:

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I have my tubes tied but will be doing the ivf process

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Shifting the blame onto your Mother is ridiculous. That decision to have them tied is solely on you. You were an adult at the time you made it. Until now I’m sure you enjoyed the many years you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

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Listen…I know you’re frustrated but you can’t shift the blame to your mother. If someone talked you into jumping off of a bridge, would you do it?

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You were in your 20s and you were an adult that makes their own decisions. She didn’t nothing but suggest u do it. Probably for good reason, bc u aren’t mentally able to take responsibility for your own actions. Pointing fingers at someone when it was your final decision. Leave them tied u don’t have the mental capacity to understand simple stuff u don’t need another kid.

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I’m surprised the doctor even did it

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Sweetie u should had been saving since 5 years ago for the procedure price if that’s all u been thinking. Stop blaming ur mother for the action u made. U a grown woman and she could had influences u but not drag u to do it. And don’t worry I had a baby at 37 u still got time. Start saving

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You can’t shift blame for a decision you made and had plenty of years to think about reversing. You have to accept responsibility.

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Some insurances cover IVF. I’d check into that. Maybe someone super close to you would be willing to be a surrogate?

Surrogate, adopt, foster to adopt. There are options.

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I had my first baby at 28.5 and second at 32 lol u are fine with age

I’m honestly surprised you found a doctor that would do it at all, most will tell you no if they feel you are too young (not that they should be aloud to do that anyway if it’s what some one wants for sure then that should be it) save up money if you really want this but know there are other ways to go about it as well good luck on your journey :pray:

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Love to you, Momma, praying for you and your family :purple_heart:

They could probably do IVF

Why not stop blaming your mother and adopt

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You could go to Mexico. It’s cheap there

You can’t blame your mother. She may have influenced the decision, but it was ultimately you who decided to have a tubal. I don’t wanna sound rude here, but if you were old enough to understand having a baby, you were old enough to understand a tubal. A doctor will not perform a tubal without your informed consent.

All of that aside, you still have options. You can pay out of pocket for a tubal reversal, check your insurance for IVF benefits. Surrogacy, fostering, adoption… you have options.

I was forced into it, I know how you’re feeling. Your only options are reversal or IVF both will be out of pocket. You’ll want to talk to your doctor to figure out what your best option is. Get your records on the procedure it’ll tell you your tube length and the likelihood of a successful reversal.

They look at us. Gosh boo com did cf fyi x c.f. diiu. Lokhau glad. boo booby y

IVF . My IVF baby is 14 yrs old now

I am sorry you feel regret but unles your mom put a gun to your head she did not make you do anything. You cant blame her for your actions. If you were old enough to understand having a baby then you’re definitely old enough to understand getting your tubes tied. Now if you want another baby start saving for the procedure and reverse the tubal. This isn’t like how it was 60 years ago. Plenty of women are having kids in their 30’s and even 40’s and still healthy. You have time.

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Have you thought about fostering or adopting if your tubes don’t work out?

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As an adult, you wouldn’t be too young to understand. You are educated about the procedure prior. Unless you’re not neurotypical, you knew what you were doing and just regret it, now. It’s something many go through, especially as they start to peak in age.

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I got it done after my 7 year old was born. I regret it sooo much to. Ive been with my SO for 19 years. His mom was dying when i done it. In my head I was thinking that it was the right thing for my family. Now it just hurts knowing i cant. But i do know you can get it reversed for $1000. & if you can pay that then youd definitely be able yo “afford” another. Good luck mama!

Understanding. I think it’s like 700+ to get that surgery… could be more. But your chances to get pregnant are lower than before the procedure was done…

I don’t think there’s enough info on this for all we know she was on crack

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Wow most doctors won’t do it after just one kid, at a younger age. Mine didn’t after 2 and I was 20. It’s crap we don’t get a say but I’m sorry yours did and now you don’t have the choice.

Maybe foster a child

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I had tubal reversal at age 40 and had 3 more 10 months apart

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Why would you ever let your mom “force” you to do anything.

Great, blame mom for your mistake ! You understood enough to have a baby, why did you not understand NOT having anymore babies ?? You trying to make her pay for surgery ?

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Save up. If it’s what you want, save up. :blush: I’m sorry that happened and that you feel that way but you can save up, you really can and make this a positive and inspirational thing :heart:

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With that surgery i think there is always a feeling of regret.
IVF is an option too fyi!!
For me, I was in the middle of an emergency c section my babys cord was 4x tight around her neck and while preparing me for the worst they asked if i wanted my tubes tied right then and there.
I said okay IF my baby is okay.
They let me wait to sign the papers and thank God she was/is okay .
But i signed them and had it done. When I look back i think wtf were they thinking even asking me that in the middle of a traumatic situation. I was literally alone bc how much of an emergency the situation was.
My pregnancies were awful so awful lose 30lbs from puking awful.
I have 2 beautiful babies.
But i still wonder and have regret.

Best of luck!

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Holy crap, $20,000?! Is that how much it is?!My Canadian Ass did not see that coming. I don’t know… either way, if it’s feasible save up :sweat_smile:

start saving now or use a surrogate with your egg and his sperm ?

Don’t blame your mother for it, you still made that decision yourself in the end.

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You cannot blame your mother for a choice that you made. A doctor didn’t do it because your mother told them to, they did it because YOU gave consent for it. Don’t place that blame on your mom.

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It kind of makes me wonder because I had to fight to get mine done at the age of 23 and my second child. They didn’t even want to allow it.

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A reverse is only a few grand isn’t it?

I was 34 when I delivered my second child and my doctor would not perform the procedure. She said I was too young.

I wouldnt blame your mom. You were an adult and made the choice and went through with it. Save up get your reversal. 5 years thinking about it you could had the money. Quit making excuses and putting this on others. Not trying to be rude but own it and move forward. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Don’t blame mom. If you only had one child your doctor should never have done that surgery unless your life was in danger having another one. Sorry I know this wasn’t what you were asking for.

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How many kids do you have?

IVF is a good option. You are 30 now so be careful having another baby. I wish I could’ve continued having kids after my emergancy c section led to my tubes being tied in the same moments. They asked us as we were wheeling down to the emergancy c section if I wanted my tubes removed. My husband said yes right away so I also said yes. I did blame him for a bit but in the end anything about my body is my choice. I could’ve have said no but I said yes. There are options but they will cost you money now. There are things you can do to get your baby fix. I am almost 32 now and I am so glad I didn’t have more kids. After 30 I have had a dramatic loss of energy and I feel I made the right choice. For the first three years though I was upset. Everything in life happens for a reason. We may not know that reason now and it may seem unfair. There’s a plan though. Trust it.

Doctors don’t usually perform it before 35 and if you only had one child. So I don’t think it’s right to lay all the blame on your mother. You also had a say and so did the doctors.

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That’s a lot of blame to put on another person who doesn’t have that right

I’m confused to why your mum thought she had a input into what you do with your body especially something as big as this

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My advise to you would be to look into adoption. There are so many kids that don’t have loving homes. Be that.

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Well don’t blame your mom… blame your Dr. Dr’s usually try to push women NOT to get their tubes tied until they are much older. Late 30s. Any dr that’s a good obgyn would never just say ok to that surgery for a woman with 1 child in her mid 20s without throughly talking about the lifelong consequences of it with you. My Dr talked me out of getting my tubes tied after ever child and I have 4. Even my last child I had at 28, knowing it was my 4th my Dr still pressed me not to do it and I didn’t. Blame yourself and your Dr. At 25 your mother doesn’t or at least shouldn’t have tbat kind sway in your medical decisions.

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Is it really necessary to birth another child, why not adopt?
My daughter is 30 and never wishes to have kids yet in our state they won’t tie her tubes because she has no children and is unmarried. We live in a stupid society. Adopt a kid who needs a home and stop blaming others for your actions.

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You still have a uterus. Do IVF.

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Dont blame your mom you are an adult. She gave you advise maybe she thought you needed. But she didn’t sign the papers for you or hold you down. I am so tired of people shifting blame on others.

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Wow, drs here won’t even consider it until your over 30.

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Even if you can’t have another baby, there are alot of babies that need adopted. I totally understand it will be TOTALLY different to what you want but others need a parent too!

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I got my tubes tied When I was 25… And remarried 6 yrs later… I paid 5 thousand dollars and got them untied… since then I’ve had 2 kids…a 20 month old and a 3 week old … I went to Dr morice in Morgan city Louisiana… Best decision I ever made

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It’s a huge decision, one you should have been able to make on your own. I’m sorry you feel robbed of that. But what is done is done unless you pay for a reversal or find a loop hole with insurance. That being said look into fostering or adoption and help some children who really need it if you can and want more children in your life.

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I’m sorry but I’m also surprised a doctor was willing to do it.

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I would just accept it and move on.

I would adopt. I have 2 boys. Always wanted a girl. I’m 46 and have a lot of chronic pain ailments. But if I didn’t I would adopt. Plenty of babies out there that are tossed away like they are garbage.

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I also felt pressured into an abortion by my mom. She said she would kick me and the baby out on the streets. And the boyfriend was threatening to kill me and his unborn child. Didn’t know what to do. I was only 15.

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I honestly would do IVF!

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How did you get it done early?? Most doctor’s won’t do the procedure unless you’re over 25 or have one of each. Anywho, I’d look into adoption. So many babies need homes.

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If don’t have the money to pay for reversal or IVF, the foster to adopt infants to start.

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I’m sorry your mom talked you into that, but I’d love to know why a dr let you get it done so young with only 1 Child my dr wouldn’t let me at 19 and I had a boy and a girl told me I had to have 3 kids or be 21 to make that decision

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Most Drs won’t even let u unless u have had 3 or 4

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make her pay to have it reversed. sue her if you have to

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Adopt, foster, get a 2nd job :woman_shrugging:t3: there’s other options. Stop blaming your mother. Nobody forced you to do it and you were old enough to choose for yourself.

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Tubals can be reversed.:person_shrugging:
Unless dr took em out…if they did, you are kinda out of options beyond IVF.

But stop blaming your mom tho, for your own choice.
If you were over 18, then it’s YOUR choice…YOU signed for it.
If your mom said go jump off that bridge and risk death…you gonna do it?
You made a decision…
You now regret it.
Which is OKAY.
We ALL make mistakes that later we realize we were duuuuumb to do lol…but no one MADE us do it.
Unless she had a gun to your head on the OR table as they put ya under…:person_shrugging:
As they verify in the OR that you’re still “good”…as you can still say no til the moment you’re knocked out. I got asked like 5+ times the day of mine, to verify at EVERY step that I was still on board. Even in the OR. I had to loudly announce for the whole room that I was still good to go. Before they even laid me down and got to prepping me.

So either pay for the reversal or IVF🤷
It’s call the stupidity tax…we’ve ALL paid it at some point to fix our stupid choices🤷.

But after 18, you can’t blame mommy anymore…she’s not the one signing anymore🤷

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You knew what you were doing when you got pregnant, but didn’t know what you were doing by tying your tubes? I’m sure the doctors explained this to you…blaming your mother :woman_facepalming:

I’m surprised a doctor agreed. They always told me no after 1. Said I was still young and wanted me to wait til I was either in my 30s or had at least 2 kids.

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Hate these damn insurance companies!

6,000.00 that’s how much it costs for a doctor who specializes in reversal costs.