I constantly need to wear a panty liner: Advice?

Can you please post this for me? I’m a 22-year-old, technically obese white female with three kids. Ever since having my youngest baby, who is one, I have had severe urinary inconvenience. With my first and second kids, I only leaked a little when coughing or sneezing, but now I have to wear a panty liner/pad every day and cannot go without one. I have tried kegals, and it doesn’t seem to be helping, but my pelvic floor muscles are so week I can barely flex them. I am so embarrassed, and my husband says he’s completely fine with it, but I am not😓. I read on Google that genetics can be a factor, and I know my grandma (59) had to have surgery on her pelvic floor, so that may be why? I don’t know; I’m just super self-conscious and want to fix it. I don’t have insurance and don’t know how I could even pay to have it repaired. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, can you please share your stories & advice?


See a urologist, this can be fixed


I have the same problem hun. You are not alone ! I was going to talk to my dr as well:( Keep using those panty liners and I hope you can get some more advice .


Try a bladder sling through a urologist


Pelvic floor physical therapy! It’s awesome


See a Dr also could try the weighted balls that go in it sounds weird but they are sold through pure romance (I do not sell) but they are for this issue to strengthen pelvic floor muscles

You need to get you some insurance and see a pelvic floor physical therapist.


…Had the surgery…life changing!

I’m in the same boat!

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I had the bladder sling and would do it again


You need to go to physical therapy. Don’t let yourself get sucked into fatalism. There is a path out of this.

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I have the same mommy your not alone

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You can try and repair it yourself at least 50 kegels per day and look up other exercises to help if not a bladder sling would be the way to go

1000% pelvic floor physio:)! 32 weeks pregnant and tomorrow I’ll ask for a referral so by the time I’m due I’ll be on the wait list :slight_smile:

Also there is surgery … but ouch! Haha

Pelvic floor physiotherapy will help you so much. You could be doing your kegels wrong or you could be too tight down there as well. You don’t have to go all the time to the physio. Just briefly tell them your financial situation at the appointment and they will create a program for you that you don’t have to go very often. Just more for updates to make sure your progressing and doing things properly. If things are as bad as you say they are they may give you a muscle stim to get the muscles working. But don’t do that without proper help from a physio


My daughter-in-law she had a problem for about 6 weeks after having my grandson she had to have a catheter and a drain tube because the doctor nicked her bladder that was just horrible she had to go to urologist and he took the draining tube out and said that the Nick had sealed back up she hasn’t had no problem since so I would see a doctor about it you never know what happens when you’re having a baby I know what happened to her ain’t the same thing but it does make you think what happened

I use perefit. I love it. It’s helped. I didn’t think I was doing my kegels right, turns out I wasn’t. It’s got all kinds of training programs and it’s a game for your phone using your kegels.


You should try Yoni pearls

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Pelvic floor PT! 100%! I work for one and she does amazing things!


Do exercises for diastasis recti. There’s a bunch of them on YouTube

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Go see Dr. That treats such condition. May have prolapse bladder that may need surgical intervention. This happens a lot after child birth. Surgery in am,home next day after you are able to pee on your own.


Yoni eggs helped me tremendously! You can also look up pelvic floor strengthening exercises till you get into a pro…

You should be able to find affordable insurance in your state from the gov,especially with 3 kids. Try the exercises but please seek medical help and don’t let it go to long.

There are pelvic floor physical therapists! Definitely see one!

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Can you not get Medicaid or Obamacare? The Affordable Care Act charges based on income. Check with your state and county and local clinics and hospitals to see what options are available to you. You might be able to get one-time charity care. Are you able to get a job with medical benefits?

Also, whatever diet and exercise you can do will probably help your health overall. Start slowly with little changes, like switching to brown rice and 100% whole grain bread & pasta, cutting portions slightly of everything but vegetables (especially carbs), and eating more colorful vegetables. Think of planning vegan menus, then add in small portions of animal products vs. planning a meal around meat and carbs. Switch from sodas (even diet—they’re so bad for you) to sparkling water with no aspartame. Go easy on meat as our supply has growth hormones (like we need help getting fatter!). Do one change at a time, and when that’s become ingrained (a week or a month, say), make another change.

Put on music and dance, go for short walks & gradually increase your distance, park farther away from stores, and go in person to shop so you have to move. Less TV, more activities with family. Bat a balloon around like a volleyball, get chalk for the sidewalk and play hopscotch, play Simon Says with your children. I also like this gentle exercise, which helps regulate your body if you do it daily: Tai Chi Chih - Joy Through Movement - YouTube

Do you have a friend who is diabetic? See if they will check your blood sugar with their meter. Diabetes might be a culprit also.

Good luck! Kudos to you for being proactive, and props to husband for being supportive. Can he get a job that affords medical benefits for the family?

I’m not sure what helps but I’m definitely following your post!! I’m 39 with 3 kids, it used to be that when I coughed hard, sneezed, jumped, etc a little would leak but it was manageable. Now I wear a pad most days but if I have to go somewhere or a longer car ride it’s a must to wear one & my fiancé says the same thing but embarrassing isn’t a strong enough word for how I feel, I’m mortified & feel nasty even though I do have good hygiene :disappointed:

Seek physical therapy it helps alot

There are physical therapy exercises you can do to strengthen your pelvic floor besides kegels. Search for pelvic floor PT exercises and research several videos. Normally I’d recommend to go to a specialist it since you don’t have insurance this may be an option.

See a urologist, may need a “sling” for bladder and physical therapist for bladder floor /pelvic floor. Best of luck.

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I had same issue after my hysterectomy. I did Pelvic floor physical therapy and with the exercises that they have you do and remembering to squeeze when you szeeze, it rarely happens anymore. It is not normal, not age, having babies. It can be helped.

If you don’t want to wear a pad, buy those peroid underwear. I know a few woman who use them little leaks. They don’t leak threw when wet.

This happens to my friend … went to Urologist prescribed pills for a few months to train bladder… after that she was fine
Hope this helps :slightly_smiling_face:

Try squats and bridges. That will help strengthen your pelvic floor and add any other legs/hip exercises. Google pelvic floor exercises and tips aside from kegals.

I have 5 kids and with each kid mine got worse, even with exercises. I am now overweight due to meds and it affects it even more. I started seeing a urologist and at first they were talking sling but I tried meds first and they work for me.

See a urologist. I have IC and a machine for mine.

You need to see a dr

There is a medication called ditropan, it’s used to re - tighten up the bladder after having children, I was prescribed because I was also having a problem having to pee all the time or peeing myself

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I would still make a doc appointment, figure out for sure what is going on and figure out actual options.

Okay I’m just going to say this bc I dont think anyone is going to say anything and idc how dumb I look​:joy: I realized after about 7 years I was doing kegels wrong​:sob::sob::joy::joy: so I’d definitely double check that and make sure you’re doing them correctly lol. But also, talk to your OB or PCP about it! If insurance is an issue look into all of your options! Theres something called the marketplace with Medicaid I believe? I think it’s for people who make too much for Medicaid but dont make enough for commercial insurance. Honestly I could be wrong though

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Your bladder may have fallen. You need to be checked. Mine required surgery.


Sounds like your bladder may need to be tucked cause after big kids or so many kids it can drop i had to have the surgery to have it done and it has helped so much

GO to the doctor and find out exactly why you leak. You can not fix the problem till you know what it is. Planned parent hood could help.

Start running each an every morning, and limit your food intakes…

Losing a significant amount of weight and strength training (for more than just your pelvic floor) should help reduce the need for a liner daily. I have a over active bladder and can hold it well. The strength training really helps

I am sorry if this sounds blunt, but that’s okey, cuz someone had to say it.
You are just 22 and you have 3 kids already. Kids are a huge responsibility.

You need to stop making babies and take care of you and your health. FB pages ain’t gonna help you. You need proper medical advice.

I understand that kids are God’s gift and all, but darling you are 22 and are suffering from obesity; have you been able to do anything for yourself? Give it a rest, take good and proper care of ur health and the 3 kids and for gods sake, consult a professional.


Talk to ob/gyn about pelvic physical therapy


I’d see a pelvic floor physiotherapist. I can’t give advice about Medicaid I don’t know anything about that as I am Canadian but pelvic floor physiotherapy has helped me correct it completely and I also have 3 children.


I did pelvic floor physio and also took a prescription medication for overactive bladder after my 2nd kiddo was born. I’m weaning off the med now, after years of physio. Also worth checking with an experienced gyno about whether you have a prolapse, as those can be easily repaired with surgery.

Hey! Pelvic floor muscles can usually be repaired with PT, so start there! If you have 3 kids I would try applying for Medicaid for you and the kiddos. Medicaid often covers PT. I had it with my last kid ( number 5) and it has made a world of difference. A few starter exercises would be: can you lay on your back on the floor, knees bent, and pull your belly in/small of the back to the floor by rotating your pelvic back? Also the cat/ cow yoga positions are helpful!


Look up belly breathing (diaphragmatic) and incontinence Pelvic floor basics part four— breathing, you’re doing it wrong | The Pelvic Hub

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You probably have a prolapsed bladder or uterus. Physio as recommended above or surgery. Consult with your family doctor.

I’ve heard of women using benwah balls or something like that

There’s physical therapy for that!!


I am the same, have learnt to live with it the best I can but have been offered reconstructive surgery too

They can do a bladder lift, it’s only a day procedure. I had mine almost 18 years ago and still going strong. It just took me a while before I stopped crossing my legs out of habit every time I was going to sneeze, cough…

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Hi! I had to have a bladder sling put in at I believe 25. It was after my 3rd child as well, I couldn’t take it anymore. Had to wear pads all day, couldn’t hold bladder most of time. I believe I am correct when I say you need to get insurance and get it repaired. It changed my life, no problem 13 years later.

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See a uro gynecologist

Work your pelvic floor you can do it any where size and place does not matter ist pull up and hold count to 15 relax then repeat. Keep doing it have a break and then start again.

U probably have a prolapse, so common after child birth, nothing to be embarrassed about just ask your doctor to refer you

I had three kids also and had the same problem. I was morbidly obese. WhAt I did was for health reasons I had to have a gastric sleeve, about one month into my weight loss I regained control of my Bladder All my doctors told me that sometimes extra weight causes bladder leakage :unamused:

You may have a prolapse bladder and need to have that checked/repaired. I would keep doing the kegals in the meantime. You may also want to get a YMCA membership and take some water aerobics classes to help strengthen your core and water is easier on the joints.

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You need physical therapy for strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. You can self refer to a PT office without having to go to a doctor first. Start there before considering surgery. Bladder slings are painful - I work in surgery and see them a lot. Good luck!!!

Are you in Oklahoma?

You need to see a pelvic floor specialist, talk to your obgyn because bladder leakage is not normal. There could be other factors so please see a doctor. Also please consider not having any more children till your health is better.

First, get health coverage.
Then go see a doctor.

I had this problem to and they had me do physical therapy which helped build my muscles up i wont get into the details cause its a little embarrassing but i would go see a doctor so u can go from there.

They have pelvic floor physical therapy… to retrain your muscles. It sounds weird but it exists and it helps

If your only 22 with kids you should qualify for some kind of government insurance. It sounds as if you may need a bladder tact. They also have Botox injections out now that can stop incontinence. Just check with a doctor after obtaining insurance.

Go see your doctor! There is physical therapy for the pelvic floor that is more than just kegels and they can refer you to surgery if they need to!

I can’t run or jump anymore -4 kids.

Same issue but not as bad as yours sounds & I am not obese. I only have 2 kids. I went to my gym who did some kind of test to see how bad the leakage was (hurts like a bitch btw). He sent me to a urologist who suggested pelvic floor therapy & said that when I am completely done having kids, the only way to completely fix it is to have a sling put in under my bladder. If u have it done & then have more kids, it will no longer help & having it done a 2nd time is more dangerous & less likely to work as well. Told to me by the urologist

Never tried these but it may be worth a try

This breaks my heart that this is a struggle for you in terms of health care. I pray you get the help that you need to feel better.

Im 32 and have kind of the same issue but only have 1 kiddo… losing weight will help and working on your abs and pelvic floor muscles will help i keep reading and seeing that belly dancing workouts will help it looks fun too i am going to try it lol should be interesting… take some time for you… get health insurance and go see your doctor… i am also a nurse and you could have a prolapse or another medical issue that could be easily solved by a dr visit. Also maybe you arent doing the kegals correctly? When you go pee try to stop your flow of urine while u are going that will help your muscles as well too… your muscles just may need more training over time. There is a way to fix it love just be patient and be ready to work hard nothing is a quick fix you got this!!:heart::heart:

First get health insurance then talk to o.b but for now keep up with Kegal excersises. They also sell vagina weights on amazon that might help…
.search Amazon “yoni eggs” they should come up. I got a 3 pack awhile back for 10$ I think

Pelvic floor therapy.

When you’re pregnant your insides moved to accommodate the baby my doctor told me that my bladder didn’t go back the way it was it was slanted you need surgery