I do not feel part of my husbands family: Advice?

I don’t know where I fit in with my husband’s family. They treat me almost like I don’t exist or like I’m just another girl my husband is with/has dated. I’m his wife & mother of his child. We’ve been together almost three years & our son is nearly 2. Let me specify - his mother is really the only person in his family that I can say for sure loves me. She communicates with me; she’s there for every event (birthdays, Christmas, etc etc.). She buys me gifts (not that that’s the important part, I’m js). His other family doesn’t really include me in much. A couple of his siblings will buy me Christmas gifts, but I feel they probably feel obligated since I’m here. No other holidays do I receive gifts except his mother. Every other wife/husband of his siblings does. And it’s not only that part, but I’m friends with most of his family on social media, and nobody really reacts to anything that I put up, even if it includes my husband and our son; they tend to just avoid it altogether. It’s not that they’re not on social media because they hardly miss anything that anyone else in the family posts. Sorry for the long post; I just feel really alone and left out on multiple levels. All of my family always includes him in everything; just for some reason, I really feel like they don’t like me. And I don’t get it. I am his longest healthy relationship. I’m so good to him and for him.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I do not feel part of my husbands family: Advice?

No advice but just enjoy your life with your husband & your child , just be happy x

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Why do you wanna be liked so much by people , why force relationship, your most important family is the one you’re building, some people don’t even talk to in-laws, just live your life and go where you’re celebrated.

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You spend a lot of time watching others fb lives. Stop comparing and live your own life.

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Pretty much same situation here.
One day I decided I couldn’t give any more energy to that situation.
Nothing I can do about it.
I’m cordial when they are around, but I don’t seek them out, likewise for them.

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Not everyone HAS to like you.
Get over yourself.

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I feel this completely!!! I think mainly it’s about how i choose to spend my free time or my line of work. But the best advice I can give is to take everything with a grain of salt. They’re missing out on the amazing person who made half of their grand baby/nephew/cousin/etc. be happy with you’re family(as in husband and son) and let them continue to miss out.

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You have your family be happy with that appreciate everything don’t worry about them

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I wouldn’t sweat it, just do your thing and don’t worry about them. Honestly this sounds kinda petty on your end

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I wudnt worry about them… leave them to it…b happy in your own life becos this stinks of jealousy… :sparkling_heart:

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Then that’s a Them problem, not a You problem. You could be the greatest person, but not everyone is going to like you and that’s ok. Just live your life. :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Are they introverts? My husband’s family used to talk like I wasn’t there or just ignored me, though they weren’t mean. I learned they’re very introverted and dreaded meeting new people, or just kind of kept to themselves.

Maybe they’re still figuring out how you fit in to their long term traditions and the easiest thing to do is what they’ve always done. Talk to your husband and tell him exactly what you’d like to see happen and ask him to broach the subject with his family.

Once my ex conveyed that I DO like to celebrate birthdays and have Christmas presents (doesn’t matter what they are, just a wrapped surprise under the tree is lovely), they were pretty good about it. I found out they hated being the center of attention (hated birthdays) and hated shopping (thus only presents for the kids). I was surprised at generally being left to fend for myself, but that indicated I was family. You’re hungry? Help yourself to food, entertain yourself, stick around, leave or go to bed when you want.

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Pay attention & accept it. As hurtful as it is, f**k them.

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You didn’t marry the family, you married him, they are the ones with the problem, not you, be respectful in their presence and enjoy your beautiful life

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Fuk them if they dont like u. Thats their problem not urs. Just smile and wave at them. Kill them with kindness!! Or dont attend his family things!! Simple really. U just care too much about what they think of u.

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Dont worry about it, just enjoy your life.

Enjoy the ones that truly love you and stop worrying about everyone else.

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Dont worry about it that’s there problem not yours just be civil with everyone your husband and kids are more important than the others

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I don’t really buy my sister partner presents, or like his posts? I mean on my sisters birthday I get for her and I buy for the kids, and I buy for all of them at Christmas. It doesn’t mean I don’t like him or that he’s not part of the family, I just have my own things going on and the date of his birthday doesn’t stick out to me, same as she doesn’t buy my partner birthday presents :joy::joy: you remember them at Christmas but only your main family birthdays get remembered, my children, neices nephews, blood siblings and my parents. I don’t even think we buy for my partners family, not because they aren’t family to us, I don’t know off by heart their birthdays, I do try to get for his mother when/if I remember or see its coming up via Facebook

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My fiance brother had me arrested on false allegations. I spent 12 days in jail. My fiance birth mother accused me of dumping her sons cremated ashes… all I ever did was help her move and get from one place to another. Later she admitted her friend did it but she had already threatened to press charges on me. His adopted dad doesn’t acknowledge that we exist and neither does his bio dad. So we cut them all off. His birth mom actually messaged him the other day and said she loved him but he chose not to respond. His upbringing isn’t the best and his family, bio and adopted ain’t shit.
My family makes up for it though :two_hearts:

Good luck .:… I was with mine almost 13 years and was never accepted by his parents nor all the siblings

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Did the part where you say “(I’m js”) mean I am Just Shallow?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I do not feel part of my husbands family: Advice?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I do not feel part of my husbands family: Advice?

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All these people saying “stop caring”. It’s not that simple! My ex’s family not only rejected me but also the daughter we had together. If I posted pics, his dad would only “like” them if his son was in it too. I ended up deleting all of them. At Xmas, his parents decided not to come over since the grandkids from my ex’s 1st marriage weren’t home. I said to my ex, what about their new grandkid and you?? They didn’t even get my daughter an Xmas present. At one point, his mom & sister told him to choose me or them. He chose me…but it only lasted a little while because he couldn’t handle the rejection I guess. I was always nice to his family and the only reason they wouldn’t like me was things he must’ve told them. Now the father of my child is my ex and all of his family/friends have nothing to do with me or our daughter. It’s so insane to me. I’m in therapy and have learned to try and accept it and move on with my life (with the understanding that they’re dysfunctional and my ex is a narcissist). But it took a lot of tears to get there. My daughter is too young to know or understand…but I’m old enough and get it!! If you need someone to talk to, you can msg me…I won’t tell you to get over it or stop caring…because it’s not that simple!

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I’m sorry you feel this way but why do you care. Once I stopped giving a damn what my ex husbands family thought I was much better off . He’s an ex now because he was abusive but the point is . I stopped caring who liked me and who did not and my life got better . I was happier . Who cares if people like your stuff on social media. As long as you and your husband are happy and love each other and your child fuck the rest .

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Private message me. I almost could have written this post. I’ve got some insights that I think could help you.

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I wouldn’t worry about being liked by everyone in his family. That’s just stressful. Not everybody is going to like you. I’ve been with mine for almost 11 years and my family is more of a family to him than his own family…a lot of disfunction there…but seriously don’t stress about it. I used to but honestly I couldn’t care less anymore. If they don’t want to be part of anything that’s on them not on you.

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I always felt like I was barely tolerated. Married 18 years.

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If your husband stands with you and has your back 100% you don’t need to worry about what others say about you or feel about you. The family that you create with your husband is important. Focus on that

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I wouldn’t worry about their approval. If they like you great, if not well that’s still great. It’s less drama. Your MIL loves you. You love him and your kid together. So I’d say screw the rest. My MIL literally sued my husband and took him to court over his own dirt bike because he wouldn’t leave me and our 2 boys. Your lucky, you just don’t realize it.

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I feel the same way about some of my husbands family and honestly don’t care :woman_shrugging:t2: I’m not changing who I am to satisfy anyone and I’ve always been respectful to them so if they don’t like me and don’t want to include me in things they can kick rocks …

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His mum loves you and that’s all that should matter! Not everyone has to make an effort 24/7. You even mentioned you do it presents of some, so maybe it’s just your brain overthinking stuff x

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Why do you need to be loved by everyone, people have lives they are busy with,if they being assholes then give it back to them, just stop stressing about it and live your life 🤷

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His longest healthy relationship ?
How did he tell you about his ex and what made it unhealthy ? If all the ex’s are crazy. I suggest you run . . Chances it’s not what your doing. My ex sisters and I was semi close. Then turn on me out of no where. Im ike wtf did I do. . Well my ex would stick up for me , turn out he was lying to them about me half truths. ,Alot taken out of context. His mom was okay with me for the most part as well his dad. .

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I been in your shoes, sort of… My ex’s family intentionly left me out on 98% of things. I just quit trying to have anything to do with them. They have a very high head…I went so far to have a relationship with them. Sometimes, it ain’t even worth it… But don’t cross oceans for people… who won’t cross a street for you. But all you can do is try…

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Don’t waste years of your time trying to make it work with those people. Your family in your house, is what matters. There’s no need to bend over backwards trying to get people to accept you that never will. I wasted a lot of time and energy on that. Almost 25 years later, and I don’t care what they think or do. Life is so much easier once that outlook takes over.

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Who cares your family is your child your husband and yourself. The extended family shouldn’t even weigh on your mind momma. Let them do them and yall do you. My husband’s fam is the same I don’t care though. I have our 4 kids and my man of 10 years whom I love. Your family are those in your home and those you make part of it. In my opinion marriage doesn’t make them family hell blood doesn’t even make them family to me

I’m the 2nd wife but from what my husband tells me, his family was the same with his 1st wife. I finally unfriended most of his family except the ones who actually made an effort to get to know me. Really though, it’s up to your husband to give you your place. Both my husbands parents have passed and because he’s the youngest of 11, I’ve mainly tried to at least have a cordial relationship with his 2 oldest sisters (they’re around MY parents’ age!) For me, it’s been difficult because of the age difference. I’m closer in age to his nieces & nephews than to his actual siblings but it’s also a cultural thing.
Either way, like I said, if it really bothers you, your husband should do his part (if he hasn’t already) and include you or talk to them about developing some sort of relationship with you. After all, you’re his wife.

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What is this, high school? Who cares long as your husband got your back, screw them, his mama likes you so that’s a plus but that’s not even mandatory.

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Talk with his mom for ideas on how to become closer with the family. They may be unsure of how to approach you or how welcoming you may be. The dynamics may stem from a strained relationship with your spouse or issues in the past that you arent aware of. Maybe its time for you to reach out instead of expecting others to come to you. Families doesn’t always mean friends. Just because you feel at 3 years you have earned your place doesnt mean they feel welcome.

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I can relate. I don’t even get invited into my husband’s father’s house. Instead I’m left in the car while he goes in to visit so I just don’t go! Both of my sister in laws are basically non existent. I have only met his younger sister one time in four years and she said hello that’s it to me. They still invite and include my husband’s ex wife in everything. I learned real quick to just not give a f**k . We married our husbands not their family. It does hurt but eventually you just got to learn to not be bothered by it.

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I get treated a lot different too. We’ve been together 9 years and have 2 kids. His mums happy to take advantage of me, begs to borrow money and never pays it back, has taken phones out in my name and not paid them, won’t message or talk to me even when I try, doesn’t buy or say anything on birthday or xmas, even though it’s me that makes sure everyone is included. Yet complete opposite treatment to my partners brothers gf who’s been there 3 years just had a baby and had been sponging off of them rent free for the whole 3 years, yet when I moved in for 1 year due to family issues I was 16 and paid my way and saved their assets from their debt and fed their kids cos they couldn’t and don’t even get a thank you. I’ve reached my limit with them and just won’t have anything to do with them.

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Um if you aren’t making an effort why should they? And tbh you should feel lucky to have a mil that likes you because honey not a lot of us have good relationships with the mother’s. I’d say that’s the most important person to worry about in my book.

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I thought this could’ve been one of my posts. My husband’s family has favorites. However, between my mother in law and father in law, they have 11 or 12 kids altogether, included the four adopted ones (one being my husband). All of the siblings are in a sibling group chat (including the SO’s, even the woman who cheated four times on my brother law) except for my husband, his sisters (which is understandable), the youngest adopted kid and my mother in law’s biological son. They also have sibling game nights and parties all the time. They go out together. They never invite my husband, I don’t care if I’m invited or not, it’s just for me, my husband is their brother whether they like it or not. Not to mention one of the members of the sibling group Chat is a sister cousin to two of them. Long story about that. No one on my husband’s side of the family ever reacts to my posts or my husband’s posts. Once someone else posts though, you can bet my in laws are the first to react.

Ive always been closeish to my bf’s family exes and current bf but ya know sometimes people dont have money for gifts for everybody or a select few, sometimes they dont communicate all the time

I finally gave up trying to have a relationship with them especially after they turned on me. I ended up stop having any form of communication. I am happier.

In my family we just buy for kids and have some token gifts at birthdays unless it gets really expensive. Plus we all have our own children. Except my brother who is single and just buy vouchers for hiss hobbies. Every family is different. I’d say when my parents pass I don’t even think my siblings would keep in touch that much

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Idk, my advice get use to it? That’s what I did. Lol

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Sad. Sorry. Idk but maybe his family is worried that you are going to end up like all his others?

Madam face you and your child including your husband so as to stay away from HBP

I’ve been with my husband 24 years and never once has his mom picked the phone and called me. I have her only two grandchildren and still you would think we didn’t even know each if you saw us together. His family isn’t even FB friends with me. It really hurts my feelings but I’ve just learned to accept the fact that they don’t consider me part of their family. Once I accepted that it was easier to just move on and spend all that energy on positive things. Best of luck to you in your situation.

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As long as your mother in law is good, f*** the rest of the family. And as long as your husband is good aswel. Dont stress.

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I know how you feel! Don’t have any advice, but know you aren’t alone!

I don’t go around them anymore or take my kids around them. Simple

I’ve been with my husband since 2005. You’ll learn to get over it and not give a crap. :rofl:

Don’t feel bad. My boyfriend of 4 years, his mom still LIVES FOR his ex girlfriend. We no longer attend birthdays, or holiday get togethers with them because she is ALWAYS involved. His mom lets her live in her house. Watches and does things with her baby but has Nothing to do with ours. Has this ex on her phone plan and pays her bill. Bought her a vehicle. I have completely cut ties with his family. He doesn’t speak to them either unless his mom messages him first which is very rare.

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I don’t really get it to be honest. It’s over some likes and gifts !? Who cares if they don’t buy u gifts or likes ur post. Not entitled too. Doesn’t mean they don’t like you. The main person you should be worried about which is his mom likes you so I wouldn’t let it bug you if the others don’t show super interest in you. Maybe they do like you but you guys just don’t click like that and nothing wrong with that long as they r respectful still.

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Enjoy just being married to your husband!! Family can be nosy and annoying and create problems within a Marriage!!
I would take that run with it !!
Means you can buy a bigger house without any family wanting to stay over ( we have a shore house ) !! No one call us until may :joy::joy::joy::joy: this want stay up 10 days !! I caused a rift until we settled it !!

Mood. My in laws hate me and have completely demonized me, but my husband can do no wrong despite him doxxing his own family.

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Talk to them? Idk what else to say :woman_shrugging:t5:

Im in the same boat. Just accept it move on. Me and my daughter have.

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I would worry about how he treats you, not them.

Fuck them. If you’ve got the mom you’re golden.

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I have bad luck with in laws for some reason my first she was ok but since she was a single mom she would get jealous of my ex and I relationship, and now I’m married in my second relationship and have 2 girls with him and it’s waaaaaaay worse for in this relationship it’s the narcissistic single dad who constantly bullies my kids including his granddaughters, my hubby’s family don’t get along and are full of drama, I’m ok with his siblings and mom not being part of my kids but oh boy his dad lives with is and is just HELL with him!!!

looks like someone posted my thoughts lol! i used to try to have some type of relationship with his family… after being told that i have not been missed for the last 2 yrs of my absence (dt covid) i realized that it wasn’t worth the 4 hr drive to visit his family. only problem is he wont visit without me :unamused: im sure they blame me

Not everyone’s family is the same, that’s her problem. She is assuming his family is like hers.

I know how you feel. My husband and I have been married going on two years and his mum doesn’t even know.

I think alot of us been were your at" the only thing I can suggest? is the hell with them stop being nice" but not mean or hateful, just go on with ur daily life and stop trying… good luck to you​:purple_heart::pray:

Continue to be kind. Don’t treat them the way they are, treat them how you are.

Stop worrying about what other people do or say . Yikes you need a therapist.

Your husband is the only family that you need ! Cut them off. Life is too short

F them honestly, your husband loves you​:bangbang: Do you need them to love you :woman_shrugging:t5:

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It’s not going to change. Been there done that.

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Some people are just cunts

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Sounds like you’re in luck cu they sound like they suck.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I do not feel part of my husbands family: Advice?

My in-laws don’t like me either oh well I don’t like the type of ppl they are I don’t want them around my kids esp after the shit they pulled this Christmas my husband youngest sister brought presents to my house ok except tht none of them where for my family so my kids had to watch other ppl open gifts from their grandma and labeled from grandma n my kids didn’t get anything in their own house best part is the sister knew and her daughter lived with their other sis at the time and all the gifts where for that sisters family she could of waited and given the presents later at the other sis house my kids cried​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I have been with my husband for 9 yrs I’ve told his while family off so ik why they don’t like me but my kids are innocent and to make my babies cry on Christmas it won’t happen again ever my mother in law is still married to the man that molested her daughter dude went to prison for it and she’s still with him :nauseated_face::nauseated_face: so we don’t have much to do with those ppl anyway my husband is happier and better off with out them . If they are making u feel some type of way tell ur husband and stop going to their functions do ur own :tipping_hand_woman:t3: that’s what we do

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I’d say count your blessings that his mom loves you. Gaining the mothers love is not always an easy task in a marriage. Try not to take the rest of them being stand offish personal. Whomever the head of that family is would be the one to focus on improving your relationship with. The rest will follow.

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My in-laws dont like me for stealing there baby, and my brother in law had a better then you additude so we never got along, even before I met my hubby. I just ignore em and live my life. Father in law even tried to claim my second child wasn’t my husband’s… I was living in their house at the time… So like… they would have known… why? She looks like my family, not my husband’s. >.>’ now she’s got my mother in law’s curly hair… my family has thick wavey or straight hair, no curls in my genes, as can be seen by the oldest girl who looks like hubby with my coloring and hair type. It’s hard, but don’t let them get you down

It isn’t you it is them. They are so focused on being that “perfect” family that if anyone from the outside sees their faults they will compromise their perfect looking exterior of a family. You are a threat to them. You just focus on you and yours. They will never change and never have a nice thing to say about you behind your back. Eventually it will catch up to them when others start cutting them off as well. My in laws hate me and I used to take it personal. In reality they are just unhappy within something in their own lives and take it out on me.

lol ok so to b mad over the social thing is stupid. and u can’t let them not liking you get to you. honestly it’s better that way, who cares? my husband family hates me and tbh i could care less :woman_shrugging:t2: cause i don’t gotta deal with them all the damn time lol there’s a reason we moved 1200 miles away lol

Sounds like you feel entitled :roll_eyes:

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Unfortunately some people are just like that. Focus on all the people who love you. Anyone else doesn’t really deserve a second thought.

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Try 6 years and one who is constantly trying to split us up but oh well I’m with him not them

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Leave them the H_ll alone

As far as his side of the family seeing your posts on fb- they may not be seeing your posts because of the algorithms.

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As long as the mother is on your side than don’t worry about the rest. Lol

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As long as they are not being disrespectful to you or your child, who cares.

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Stop comparing your life experience to others and just live your life for you! Let this feeling be an example of how you don’t ever want to make anyone else feel and you do that. Don’t sweat it

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Hey, his momma cares about you and that’s all that matters! I love my sisters and brother in law very much, but if they snubbed me and made it clear they didn’t like me I’d just be like whatever, man. :woman_shrugging: I mean yes it would very much so hurt my feelings lol. But I wouldn’t let it bother me. My husband has people in his own family that don’t speak to him/hate him and we have no clue why. He just moves along with his life and don’t let it bother him because he knows he hasn’t done anything wrong and he doesn’t kiss butt if you don’t like him. :woman_shrugging: If they treat you like that then just ignore them. Kill them with kindness. At the end of the day, your husband is who matters. You married him, not anyone else. They don’t have to like you. It does suck if they don’t, but don’t let it bother you if you can. I wouldn’t talk to them about it or anything. Just give the love you would’ve had for them to his momma. :heart:

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Married 20 years and have very little to do with part of my husband’s family🤷‍♀️

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I feel this…but I stay away from my fiances family as much as I possibly can or get away with.
Im only close with his middle sibling
Other than I just focus on my son around them. Don’t give the ones who are rude attention nor entertain them don’t put yourself out their either unless you have too.

I was with my husband for 25 years. None of his siblings had a conversation with me until they needed me for something and that was literally 20 years after we had been married. When my husband passed away, no one and I literally mean none of them spoke to me at the funeral nor afterwards. As long as you are happy with your spouse then don’t worry about his family. They will either like you or not. Live your life

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the fact that your MIL treats you well, you are very lucky, Get over everyone else, Just be friendly & cordial,

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Sounds like you have an awesome mother in law. Don’t fret over the other family members.

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I had to put my foot down and demand equal treatment. 6 years later and they are still behaving.

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Not everyone will like you. And that includes family. Just hang more with the one you like and who like you…don’t worry about the rest.

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