My child’s father and I split up a few months ago and things were very hard he wouldn’t work with me on anything only against me. He used to let me call my daughter every night to say goodnight or ask how her night was the days she was with him since I agreed to 50 50 custody with out court but than he stopped letting me call her etc. I have never refused any phone calls of his to her and still don’t he has recently got a girlfriend within the last month and decided that he’s too busy with “work” that he can’t do 50 50 anymore I’m fine with it because more time for me I just wish he wanted the same. Since he brought his girlfriend around my daughter last week and didn’t tell me until after she was around her even though we had an agreement to meet someone if they were going to be around our child this was last Thursday she met my daughter And has only been around her 2 times and last night I found out my daughter was going to sleep at this girls house where idk where it is or anything at all so he’s jumping into his hard what do you think I should do? I get I don’t have a say when she’s with dad but I’m not comfortable with my daughter sleeping at this girls house when she barely knows her she’s only 3 and what if she doesn’t feel comfortable to ask to go to the bathroom or something or since she has a big dog at home she plays with what if this girls dog doesn’t like that she can play with my dog comfortable and gets bit etc
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't feel comfortable with my kid being around my ex's new girl
And here is another challenge of the 50/50, rarely ever a good idea. Same things that kept the relationship from working will usually keep the 50/50 from working.
Get visitation in writing and then stick to it.
What happens when school starts…? no routine isn’t a good thing…
Sadly I don’t think he is under any “communication…” obligation while he has her.
No, you don’t have to just get over it. I took my ex to court with proof of lack of communication on his end when he had our son. Court ordered for (us) both parents to give each other contact info if the child was with someone else.
When it comes to him refusing to let you talk to her and tell her good night, or whatever. Bring proof that he’s denying you availability to do so. I’m sure the judge will correct him on that too.
As long as you are not calling constantly interrupting their parenting time.
Also, my lawyer got it put in our parenting agreement that neither one of us could bring boyfriends/girlfriends around the child during parenting time.
first I would talk to the dad about your wishes and concerns through text (if recording is not allowed where you live) give him a chance to compromise with you. If he does not, then you will have proof that you tried to handle this out side of court but he wouldn’t work with you. Make sure to not argue in the text.
Just keep it straight to the point. If he doesn’t want to change anything, don’t argue and just drop it. Then go file for change to be done in court.
With my baby daddy, I wasn’t comfortable with the kids being around his gf at first either because I didn’t know anything about her or how she treated the kids BUT as I got to know her through going to family events and just talking to her, I’ve become so comfortable that I don’t worry more than your average parent does when away from their kid. So maybe there’s a way the 3 of you can do a park date or something so you can get to know her and feel more at ease?
Nah u can’t just ‘get over it’!!
You need to know where your child is and who with at all times, his relationship Is clearly affecting your daughter because he’s took a step back, dad’s like that don’t deserve their children!! I would try and somehow message the new girlfriend and see if you can get through to her instead not in a nasty way, just ask to meet her and explain things ect and then you should feel more comfortable then, and if she’s a good person then she won’t have a problem with anything because she is going to be around your child after all and you need to know your child is safe ect ect xxx
Unfortunately you will never have a say on who he has around your child even if it were court ordered visitation. Unless there is an imitate danger to the safety and welfare of your child that you can prove in court, you’ll never have a say. That is something you’ll have to make peace with. Mabe try and meet her and just make sure all lines of communication are open between your child and you. You also have no power over him answering calls no matter what. The best you can do is express yourself positively to him and hope for the best. Just remember, whatever you do, it effects your baby in the long run so I advise keep communication open with him when you have her even if he doesn’t.
I’m at a loss the child is too young if there were other or older siblings …maybe watch for a while But she is toooo young to be with anybody else but her mother.
I think you should quickly get your lawyer involved and nicely settle this he has every right to see her but I would not have my precious one with anybody not yet
PRAY …nobody prays any longer in the West…???
Not to be harsh but you just gotta get over it. Unless the new girlfriend is on drugs or a danger to a child then you just need to accept that dad is dating and your children will be around these people. You should be able to trust that your ex will protect his children and not put them in harms way.
i agree with both sides here get into writting no over night guest while your daughter is in his care until a certain time frame or he desides to get married. co-parent with each other. no it didnt work out with yall but there was love at sometime in the relationship and yall need to be adults and be happy that your ex is happy and he should do the same to you.
Get a lawyer, legal aid if you can’t hire one, call cps to do a home visit id your concerned about her safety, and go to court!!!
I agree with Jolene Mariee . Talk to ur ex also and let him know ur concerns. But other than that u gonna have to suck that 1 up.
Sounds like a lot of what ifs in this. These what ifs just sound as you are uncomfortable and that is understandable as a parent. This one you just have to get over. Even if you take it to court and y’all still do 50/50 then you have no control or say so when the child is with the father as the same when the child is with you. Now if you sincerely have concerns of the safety of the child while with the father then you act as you feel best as the mother of the child. Don’t let her go and get you an attorney asap if that is sincerely the only concern. Not to hurt any feelings but, it doesn’t sound as if you are concerned about the actual safety of the child as much as you just being uncomfortable with the changes. I will say if y’all had a verbal agreement that the other parent is to meet the new relationship partner before the children the that agreement should have been upheld. With that being said that is no reason for concern enough to keep the child away from the father. This is part of the reason that father’s become more absent in their child’s life after separation. Just because y’all have a child together does not mean you get to be demanding on certain things or dictate what they can or can not do. You can not be in control of what goes on in the other parents home unless your child is in immanent danger while in their care. It is things like this that pushes a father away with out realizing that you are the one that created an issue where there was none to begin with.
Why dont you set up a day where you your ex and his girlfriend can met so you can get to know her instead of worrying yourself about everything when your daughter is there
Take it to court have everything put on paper and if you don’t follow it go on with whatever they say to do but put on paper he’s a stay at dads house and only dads house and the phone calls at night before bed he must make them to you or he better answer the phone someone and someone that is not a hard thing to ask for but it sounds like you gonna need to get it on legal documents because he doesn’t sound like he’s going to follow through with anything
voice your concerns. unfortunately, the both of you will end up dating and your child will have to be involved. unless this new girlfriend is an immediate danger to your child, there’s nothing you can do except make clear boundaries on things that are and aren’t okay. as long as your ex respects those, then what’s the problem? it’s okay. you’re going to be okay.
What makes you uncomfortable? That she’s younger? That she’s prettier? Or that she’s nicer?
Why do men feel e titled to a womans child. If he cant respect you and the safety concerns you have then dobt let him have your daughter. He’s violating boundaries you set then he’s gonna violate your daughters boundaries to.
You need an attorney asap.
Unfortunately, you need to take this to court. If it were me, I would not allow my child to go with her father unchaperoned until we had a proper court order as it seems he has already relinquished his 50/50 custody for this new relationship. You have legitimate concerns bc children have a significantly higher incidence and prevalence of being harmed, beaten, raped, and/or killed by step-parents, new girlfriends/boyfriend’s, or even the other parent bc the child “gets in the way” and becomes somewhat of a nuisance, especially at that difficult age of 3! If your ex would have asked you if you’d be comfortable meeting this new girlfriend prior to him introducing the child to this new girlfriend and you all had a play date with your child, then it would seem he was interested in doing things properly and a way in which you and your child could be comfortable with the new “situation” at hand, maybe then things would be okay without the court order, but that’s not what he did. There is no such thing as “too safe” when it comes to your children, and call me a bitch or whatever, but if you aren’t comfortable with something that involves your child and you are able to do something about it to ensure safety and comfortability in transition of care, then by all means DO IT! Refuse unchaperoned visits; refuse overnight visits, do whatever you need to do to ensure safety and decrease anxiety. Your child obviously deserves to see their father, but by no means do you have to bend over backwards to accommodate him and his new relationship, nor should he expect it. However, he should expect the same from you if the roles were reversed, but I’d always advise a court order! That way everything is written in black and white, legal, and enforceable! Better for your child, your ex, and you, altogether! Good luck girl!.