I don't want my SO traveling for work: Advice?

Not going to change make a choice

1 Like

He’s being dishonest about things and now he swears you guys need money and he needs to work out of town? RED FLAG.

2 Likes

You shouldn’t have bailed him out to start with. Let him fix his own messes.

5 Likes

It comes down to trust. Do you trust him? Today is my 13th anniversary and my husband has always had a job where he worked away. Sometimes for weeks to months at a time. His hours are crazy and he spends lots of time in hotels that his work pays for. I trust him so I don’t worry about him when he’s away working. I know he’s doing whatever he has to do to provide for us and I’m grateful for the sacrifices he makes.

You need to be honest with him. About your feelings, your concerns and your reasons. If this is too hard to do on your own, get help. Especially if there’s been cheating involved and if you’re thinking the drinking is a problem (which it seems to be.) If you feel you need help with the kids, tell him. Nothing will change if you don’t communicate.

2 Likes

If ya’ll really needed the money he wouldn’t spend it on alcohol. That’s $$ out of your kids mouths to get drunk. Very irresponsible & childish. He needs to wait drinking all together bc he can’t act right.

1 Like

My husband USE to have a traveling job and for 6 monthes of the year he worked 4 hours away and stayed in a hotel but never went out unless he went to eat and was by himself than he had to go to Texas for 5 monthes which I went with him because he wanted me to but than we got pregnant and be quit once he started working at walmart distribution center and it was alot less money but same pay time but he got a raise 6 monthes after being their and stayed with the other job 2 years and never got a raise and now be thanks me everyday for begging and making him quit. Our first newborn has been in icu for a month sense 3 days after she was born on the 5th. My husband doesnt bring but maybe once a year and thats a long Island ice tea but he barely even wants to drink that one time. If you’ve talked to him already and you cant make him see your point and if he’s not willing to atleast try to be more mature than I say to leave him especially if you cant trust him and hes being dishonest or go with him so you can try and stop him when he wants to or ask him why he likes to get drunk instead of having a drink only and unless he’s ready or willing to stop getting drunk and only having a drink and going home or wherever when drama comes up or what not than try to talk to him and prove your point and if he’s not willing to help,or get more mature(if possible)than leave him if he’s not willing to do better for his family especially kids. If he can’t go and have a drink and go home or wherever when it’s time for his family and yall can’t talk it out and he’s not willing to do better for his family than leave him,try to go with him and sleep wherever he stays at and see how he feels about that but unless he’s willing to stop,do better,get more mature for his kids and stop being dishonest than leave him if you can talk to him and try work it out.

Christian marriage counseling. Perhaps he also needs to get in recovery.

1 Like

Why.?.postings your problems…He’s an Oil worker…They travels alot.

IT’S TIME TO LEAVE!!
HE’S NOT GOING TO CHANGE!
Stop making excuses for this boy.
YOU CAN’T STICK FLOWERS IN AN ASSHOLE AND CALL IT A VASE.
It’s better to leave now that your children are small.
It will be so hard on the children if you wait.
PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST!!

I traveled out of state my whole life lived like a rock star and still happily married coming up on 35 years. Jealousy will get you no where. Live and let live…the only one who suffers from our actions is self.

Sounds like no trust is the issue…you have children to raise and he is a grown adult. Stop trying to be his mother

Run girl, RUN. Babies or not. Everything you wrote sounds toxic. Why is he not home bonding with the babies and helping you? If the trust is gone, you should be too. :pray:

U did not sign up for parenting this grown ass man but to be a partner Sis. If u cannot trust him and he is choosing not to grow up for the sake of his family, guess wut?? He does not deserve to have one. U allow ppl to do wut they want to do so u can see wut they’d rather do. Move on wit ur life and find ur happy. God bless u. P.S. Its a whole lot of eligible step daddys outchere.