I feel guilty for not wanting to breastfeed: Thoughts?

I strictly formula fed 2 babies. Zero regrets and both babies thrived. Fed is best.

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You do what is easiest for you. Dont feel guilty! Sometimes its just too hard. And thats okay!

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Hi, momma!
If you just had you baby 5 days ago you won’t get tons of milk. Promise it will come in a few weeks and more each time you pump. And drinking lots of water/eating will help your supply.
I’m not sure what issues your having for latching. Mb call and talk to a lactation consultant at the hospital. I know I had to use a nipple shield for both my daughters to nurse and then it went well.
But at the end of the day, do what you feel is right for you and your health.
I didn’t nurse my son and have 0 regrets. I wasn’t comfortable with that at the time of having him and then chose to do so with my daughters.

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Unless your husband can breastfeed and nurse the baby, then he has no choice but to be supportive of whatever decision you make. If you feel in your heart it isn’t for you, then your baby will be perfectly fine on formula.

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Breastfeeding tanked my mental health. I hated it. It was so hard and so much work and I hated every second of it for the week I did it. It was such a relief to switch to formula. My daughter slept better, she was able to bond with my husband feeding her. I was able to have a life and personal autonomy. She gained weight normal, has been perfectly healthy and happy for the 4 years of her life. My next is due in a month and I am exclusively formula feeding. Fed is best and breastfeeding is not for everyone and it does not have to be because you can’t. It can be because you don’t want to.

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You need to see an IBCLC they can help you figure out why baby is not latching. Breastfeeding helps baby’s immune system that can’t be replicated.

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Fed is best…
I pumped for a whole month as bubba wouldn’t latch he was premie and I got a breast infection. But now he has been breastfed for nearly 7 months.
I nearly gave up but I was determined.
But honestly don’t feel bad for not being able to and don’t let anyone else make you feel bad either.

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Listen it’s your body and your decision no matter what anyone thinks. If you know your not going to enjoy pumping every two hours until he is two, then don’t. Do not put yourself through that. Because the feeling of regretting it every single time will put off bad juju and your baby just might respond to that by being a really cranky baby. Basically he’s reading your vibes through your breast milk when your aggravated with it …

And instead of just living a joyous life formula feeding… You could be miserable. He could be miserable. Don’t do something you don’t wanna do.

I tried with mine, didn’t work out for the most part. But oh well they are alright.

If you want to Breast feed… Try the football hold. ( excellent when having a c-section too ) Nipple shield and slowly cut it away.

Seen a roport today about chemical being found in breastmilk.

Don’t feel guilty none of my kids were breastfed and strapping healthy adults it’s a myth my youngest was fed on cows milk he is 6ft 2 and strapping

Hunny you need to talk to your OB. This sounds more like postpartum depression to me. The guilt means you care. The lack of energy is typical with a new baby. Honestly I would pump another couple weeks if possible just for the antibodies you can provide your child but if you chose not to that’s ok. Plenty of babies end up formula fed.

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Your body. Your choice

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A fed baby is best, never forget that. You should also speak to your OB cause it sounds like you also may have what is called “baby blues”.

Breast is best nutrition but a (mentally) healthy mom is also very important. You do what’s best for you and baby. Also there is another option that I haven’t seen anyone post yet. It is not all or nothing. If you want to go down to pumping at night or just in the morning and before bed, all are options. You do not have to kill yourself at the pump. You can give what you pump as you are able and use formula for back up. :heart: what do you feel comfortable doing and what is easier for both if you should be most important over how anyone else feels about it.
Your body will adjust if you put yourself on a schedule of pumping what is “do able” to you. It’s supply and demand as long as there is not a medical reason that you do not produce milk. Generally, you pump alot=lots of milk. Less demand (pump or baby)= less milk. You can decide to pump less and only feed a small amount of breastmilk a day. Then you get both benefits (some of the gold for baby and less stress for mommy) :heart:

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I did both with my first, but ebf my second. To me, breastfeeding was so much easier than worrying about having enough formula and bottles when we were out. If you can hang in there pumping for now and get her to latch, it may be easier for you too. But if you just want to formula feed bc that works best for don’t for a second feel guilty. Healthy (physically and mentally) mama, healthy baby.

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Get your lo checked out for lip and tongue ties. Also you can contact a lactation specialist. Formula isn’t bad so don’t feel guilty. You got this mama, good luck.

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Have you tried nipple guards!!

No need for guilt! The baby will be totally fine.

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Do what is best for you to be the best mama you can be. Your husband needs to realize that you are recovering from having a baby, hormones are fluxuating, and stress about baby being fed is making you feel defeated. You need to take care of yourself. Its not selfish. As long has baby is health, it shouldn’t matter how baby is being fed. If you want to try breastfeeding see out a lactation consultant to help baby latch. If you don’t want to breastfeed, that’s ok too. You can not NOT take care of yourself. Baby blues, Postpartum depression, these things can easily set in around this time especially when stressed. Do what is best for you.

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The babe might have a tongue tie, which can interfere. Luckily, it’s super easy to correct.

The first 3 or 4 days are the most important. Not everyone is comfortable with it.

Fed is best no matter how they eat as long as they’re gaining weight that’s all the matters. My first I couldn’t bring much in but the second time I was about to go about a month before having to switch to formula. If you try to breastfeed still, try a nipple shield.

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When my baby was about a week old he had trouble latching on to but I kept trying and he latched. Do what you are comfortable with doing though. Everyone is different

Get her checked for a tongue tie and get it clipped.
WIC has great lactation experts.

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My youngest daughter breastfed her first for a short time and at 20 months is still breastfeeding her 2nd. My oldest did not have a great supply, baby wasn’t latching great, even got donated breast milk for awhile before going formula. Don’t beat yourself up if you go formula. You do what works for you. I know they say it’s healthier to breast feed but I haven’t seen a formula fed baby that wasn’t healthy because of formula.

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Perhaps you’d like to talk to La Leche League for support and advice. They can also help moms who exclusively pump or nurse part time. If you can get your depression taken care of you might have the energy to visit a lactation consultant (who can also be a big help with pumping.) One thing my l.c. told me was to put olive oil on my nipples before pumping to get a better seal etc. If a little gets on the milk it won’t harm the baby. I have to say, good for you for sticking it out this long. You’ve given your baby a wonderful gift when many moms don’t even try.

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Don’t feel guilty. And don’t let anyone make you feel like shit for your decision . It’s your body and your baby. Good luck :blue_heart:

What country are you in?
If you are in australia, you can call the Australia breastfeeding association hotline: 1800 686 268

Didnt your nurse/dr in hospital check to make sure baby was latching properly and check for lip and tongue tie? - I would be booking into the doctor to get these checked!

If you want to breastfeed, book into a lactation clinic and a lactation trained nurse can support you.

You may also have postpartum depression, you need to also re-book in with your doctor and in the mean time if you are australian you can also call the maternal and child health nurse hotline 13 22 29

These lines can offer support and also put you in the right direction for additional support and services.

But also know feed is best!

Food and sleep is fuel and no sleep will make anyone crazy so seek more help with bub it’s never a weakness to ask for help. if you cannot find time to eat maybe order some healthy mummy smoothies they are full of nutrition and breast feeding friendly The Healthy Mummy | Sydney NSW

Don’t feel bad… its a hard journey all around. Motherhood won’t be ruined if you formula feed. This is coming from a mom who.breast fed her nicu baby… I fought hard. … for a year and her healthy daughter a month shy of three years old.

Ignore haters. Soak up love and suppport

I don’t like breastfeeding. I don’t mind if others do it but I just don’t like it for myself so for the first 2 weeks I pumped but it became too much work so I just switched to full formula. And it was fine, I didn’t really feel bad about it cause its what was best for us.

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My milk never came in. I pumped and pumped and would get less than an ounce each time. I hated the feeling of breastfeeding so I said no that while I was still in the hospital. As long as your baby is fed that’s all that matters. Fed is best!

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If your having latching issues there could be a tongue tie… if that’s not the the issue hold baby in a comfy position and use your index finger on the other hand and tickle babies chin baby will open its mouth wider and put head to nipple and baby should latch… there are also breastfeeding clinics that can help you and show you tricks to get baby to open wider for latching… also remember fed is best!!! There’s no need to feel guilty at all baby is being fed and thats what matters :slight_smile:

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Feeding your baby is what’s best. I breastfed my 3 boys but still advocate for doing whatever works for momma & baby. Fed is best. You are under the most stress when breastfeeding, so ultimately it should be your decision. My boys’ father & other family would actually sometimes make comments to me about breastfeeding for so long… but it wasn’t hurting anyone so I didn’t let it bother me. As mother’s we sacrifice so much already just being pregnant & giving birth! No one has any right to shame you as long as your baby is fed. I know lots of mommas that opted to bottle feed for their own reasons & I would never give it a second thought as to how they choose to feed their own child.

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My new great-grandson would not latch . They found out he was tongue tied they fix that problem now he’s doing great latching good now

If your mental health is struggling quit! It’s completely fine! I went through all of
That crazy mom guilt too and I was miserable and never got any sleep at all if I could go back and just
Formula feed I totally would! :heart:

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I struggled with the same decision with my first, but came to the conclusion as long as he was fed it didn’t matter whether I breastfed or formula fed. Ultimately it’s your decision. Don’t feel down of someone tell you to breast cause it’s better for the baby. Fed is fed

Breastfeeding just isn’t for everyone
Side note exclusively formula feeding when your supply is low is not the best choice as less demand (nursing and/or pumping) will lead to even less production

Do what is best for you and don’t feel guilty about it! A formula-fed baby with a calmer mom is better for both of you than a BF baby with a highly stressed- out mom. That’s not good for either one of you.

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My daughter wouldn’t latch either when she was born. I pumped instead and it was torture for me, but she still got fed and had a happy tummy. I cried when I had to stop giving her breast milk because I had surgery and I had to get back on my meds so we switched to formula. Just remember a fed baby is a happy baby. :blush:

What you are really concerned about is disappointing your husband.
And THAT is the only person besides yourself whose opinion really carries any weight in this matter.
This is something you must discuss, and come to a mutually agreeable resolution, with Him. If the two of you can’t work that out together, perhaps seek help from a neutral professional, counselor.

Try a nipple shield or go to wic for assistance? Both of those helped me tremendously. Breastfeeding is super challenging and can be difficult, esp when you’re in the first couple of days, weeks and months into being a new mom. Do what’s best and sometimes that is formula feeding.

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Do what feels
Right for you
I never had the desire to breast feed at all and never felt guilty about it. My girls are 25 and 29 and turned out just fine. Don’t do something that will cause you stress. Being a new mom is supposed to be a great time in your life. Enjoy it

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If breastfeeding is causing stress it can cause a parent to resent their baby despite loving them so much. If formula feeding makes you feel better/less burdened then do it. You might find parenthood more rewarding that way too.

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As long as the baby is fed, who cares? I’ve done both and they have all grown up healthy. We still bonded, they still have good immune systems. Just do what works for you.

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You do you girl! You are the momma and as long as your baby is happy and healthy pay no mind to what others tell you to do. Motherhood is challenging enough. You got this Momma!!

Do what is best for you! By the time your child goes to school no one knows who was breastmilk or formula fed

I’ve been shamed so much for formula feeding. I didn’t bf because I didn’t want to. I just was never interested in it and didn’t care to try. I don’t have any regrets.

Your milk supply is low because you are supplementing formula. In the first few days baby needs to be on the breast as much as possible and sometimes that means constantly to make your milk supply come in and continue to increase to what baby needs. If she isn’t latching use a nipple shield. Much much easier and much less hassle than a pump. Baby needs to be on the breast to tell your body how much milk to produce. The baby will need to cluster feed when he or she is going through a growth spurt to tell your body to produce more milk. A pump can never do what baby can. Google cluster feeding and growth spurts. You can use the nipple shields your entire breastfeeding journey. They are a miracle! You can get them at Walmart or target and they have different shapes and sizes you can try. In the first few weeks baby only needs a very small amount of breastmilk at each feeding and will probably eat every two hours if not more often. Also if you decide breastfeeding isn’t for you then that is ok too! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Millions of babies thrive on formula every single day. I’ve done both with all three of my kids. It’s your choice

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Just don’t even feel 1 percent bad and remember babies are fed and raised all different kinds of ways and still become happy healthy humans.

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I supplement with formula due to my now 11 week old not putting on enough weight and only wants to feed off one side now. So I breast feed and formula, best thing that could have happened. She’s chunky, I’m happy and my partner gets to help with feeds. Life changing girl :heart: xx

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Do what YOU want to do. It’s natural to feel guilt bc of the hormones. Either way the baby will be fine.

Have you had a lactation consultant help you with latching? Pumping is HARD so i totally understand not wanting to deal with that. I nursed my first to his 3rd birthday with the last year of that tandem nursing my second child and when she was born she had to be in the NICU for a week where i had to exclusively pump and honestly if she hadn’t latched right on when we were finally able to start latching even i probably would have went to formula instead of exclusively pumping. That mess is for the birds and you def should not feel guilty for not wanting to deal with it. If you want to latch baby and haven’t met with an actual consultant yet to help you then I’d try that too see if you can get her to breast and your husband can help you with that as well but if that doesn’t work then you should absolutely do what you feel is best and not feel guilty about that at all.

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Everyone mothers different dont feel guilty … just do what you feel is better for you … don’t stress yourself out…

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FED is best. Period.

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Babe you have nothing to feel guilty about. You need to do what is best for you and your mental health and if that is formula feeding then do it!!!

I nursed solely my first born . Solely bottle fed formula with second . Third , nursed 8 weeks then went to formula . Your baby will be just fine . All of mine are fine and I had / have a deep bond with each one !

This is your decision. You are the mother and yes your husband should get a say but it is your body and formula isn’t as good as breast milk BUT it is still very healthy for babies otherwise it wouldn’t be something so many people give to their babies. If you do decide to give your baby formula and stop breast feeding you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. You would be doing what is best for you and still taking care of your baby. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health and I know when I stopped breast feeding I felt bad at first but it was damaging my mental health so much basically doing nothing but pumping. Your husband may not understand what a mental toll it is taking on you. Yes talk to him and express why you may want to stop breast feeding and hopefully he will understand. I don’t know him so I have no idea how he will react but if you think switching to formula only then that is your decision and it would be nice to have his support but you need to do what is best for your mental health :blue_heart:

My youngest is 4 months and she’s EBF only bc I kept pushing myself bc I wanted to succeed with atleast one of my baby’s. My first 3 children I supplemented and it was easy. But I was determined with my last one. I kept letting her latch anytime she wanted and yes it hurt but after 2 weeks-ish I was better. Honestly the best thing I did was buy a haakaa for the other breast while baby was nursing. I don’t pump now unless I just want too but my body knows when she eats. And she sleeps from 12 til 6 and I don’t get up to pump. The only thing that gets me, is my husband can’t feed her bc I have yet to introduce a bottle bc im so proud of myself I made it this long. This is just my experience. Do whats best for you and baby. Fed is best!

I’ve heard a little bit of sugar water on your nipples has helped some moms if you want to continue trying to latch. There’s no shame in how you decide to feed as long as baby is thriving. :sparkling_heart:

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It’s clear that you are not really asking for advice on how to latch… And because you posted in a general mums group and not a bfsupport group that u dont really want any tips on how to continue or to hear how worth it it’ll be, if u only soldier on. You came to be reassured that actually IT’S OK TO JUST FEED YOUR BABY FORMULA!!! of course, it is!! You are not giving up!! You are simply changing your mind after experiencing both ways of feeding and you are just making a more informed choice now about what works for you as a new mum! Do not feel guilty for ranking your own emotional health as a priority! Your baby needs you to be comfortable, strong and happy … more than he needs breast milk! :heart:

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never be ashamed to formula feed mommas. as long as your child is fed and loved, who cares what anyone else thinks. and trust me, its your decision.

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Well said Leigh ,you did really well ,just look at Max a sturdy happy gorgeous wee boy ,so no negativity love youse :heart::heart::heart::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:xxxx

plenty of healthy and intelligent people were formula fed!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel guilty for not wanting to breastfeed: Thoughts?

If you don’t want to breastfeed then don’t breastfeed. As long as baby is FED it doesn’t matter if it’s breast milk or formula. My sister and I were breastfed, my brother had a tongue tie and was formula fed from 10 days old. We’re all healthy at 29, 21 and 20.
I’m exclusively breastfeeding my daughter (6 months old) but that is my choice. She’s had the odd bottle here and there when I’ve been in pain from nipple blisters as it took a few weeks for her to attach correctly. But again that was my choice.

Don’t feel bad about not wanting to breastfeed. Again as long as your baby is fed you’re doing just fine. :slightly_smiling_face: keep your chin up and do what you want to do. It’s YOUR baby and no-one can tell you what the right way is to care for your baby.

I had a a similar issue, my first was born extremely prem so I pumped for him anyway, but my second was born full term but couldn’t latch without causing me pain due to a tongue tie and high palette. I exclusively pumped for him for 4.5 months and froze enough milk for him to have 1 bottle a day until 6 months old. It’s HARD! I’m proud that’s he’s had it. But honestly, if you want to formula feed then go for it. Neither choice is wrong. If your baby is fed that’s all that matters. Maybe get baby assessed for tongue tie as he might be able to breastfeed after all. And definately speak to your midwife for support if that’s what you would prefer

Have you considered a nipple sheild that’s quite long, almost like a bottle teat? I couldn’t feed my first born because of tongue tie and latch issues but I’m going to try nipple shields for my second

You should do whatever you are most comfortable with. I always thought I wanted to breast feed but when my son was born, his first feed was a bottle as I was rushed to theatre to have my placenta removed!! He barely fed for the first 3 days :sleepy:then my milk came in and I breastfed just purely because I felt pressured and ultimately for some relief, the pain in my new huge breasts was horrendous. Anyway it was hard he was used to a bottle and I did not want to pump milk, so he had a mix of breast and formula, he seemed to take more with formula so I made the switch, i think we were both happier for it in the end, and he came on leaps and bounds. He’s ten now happy and healthy. So you do what feels right for you a happy mummy equals a happy baby :baby:good luck xxx

I had latch problems and a lot of people do, there is help out there if you want it, I ended up back in hospital and seeing a lactation consultant, but I really really wanted to breastfeed and 3 months on I’m so glad I pushed through. The first 6 weeks are normally the hardest so if you’re hearts not in it it might be too much… don’t feel guilt! You being well is key to your baby thriving :slightly_smiling_face: loads of babies are on formula and are great! I will say though that dad being able to give a bottle, in my opinion, is the only aspect that makes formula easier, everything else is harder e.g sterilising, making bottles in the night, packing for going out etc. and it’s more expensive. Do what is best for you though! Just make sure it’s what you want and once you decide don’t look back :smiling_face: xxx

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My baby was born small and I was really poorly after the birth so she was initially bottle fed for the first 24- 48 hours while I had blood transfusions. When my milk had finally come in she was too use to the bottle/teat and just absolutely would not take to breastfeeding. I exclusively pumped for 4 months and it was absolute hell. In the end it turned out my little one had lactose intolerance and had to be put on specialised formula. I wish I never felt pressured to give her breastmilk because I would have enjoyed the first few months so much more if I wasn’t constantly attached to a pump or washing pump parts!

Fed is best. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to formula feed or breastfeed feed and you shouldn’t feel guilty for going with whatever works best for you and your little one x

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Your husband can have an opinion on the subject however since its not him that has to make the effort to breastfeed it is ultimately your choice. Dont feel guilty feeding your baby whichever way is best for you

Dont feel guilty. People say breast is best when in actual fact FED is best wether that comes from the breast or formula. When I had my son the midwife tried forcing me to breaar feed amd id ways said I’d rather not and told her straight my baby my choice

My boy struggled to latch and after 5 days of me struggling and feeling shit turned out he had a tongue tie and all I needed was nipple shield. Took a few days to get the hang of it but worked it amazing 15months on he is still feeding and without the nipple shield :slight_smile: x

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Dont feel guilty. I went straight to formula for both my kids. I did try but didnt like it or enjoy it.
Its your choice. Good luck!

Do what makes you feel most comfortable. Happy mum = happy baby. My first child wouldn’t latch, I forced it for 2 weeks and I was so miserable. When I swapped to formula, my daughter was happier, more settled and so was I. I breast fed and pumped for my second daughter for 2 weeks also ( I just wanted to give them equal amounts in terms of first milk and all the good stuff) but I really didn’t enjoy it… and then went onto formula, both girls are happy and healthy at 3 and 2 years old now. My husband really wanted me to breast feed but he was supportive and knew i had tried my best. Don’t feel guilty, everyone is different, a fed baby is a happy baby. :blush::blush:

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You do what’s best for you mama. I formula fed my first daughter after she didn’t latch well.

My youngest I still breastfeed, but I have people saying you should stop now or you wont get help whilst you breastfeed and I would love to get a break from it

But im just making the most as my first didn’t take well and plus my youngest didn’t take well to bottles when I did try breast milk in a bottle so I’m just doing what I feel makes him happy and yes I’m tired and yes be nice for a break but he will be grown up soon and I’ll miss these days of snuggles and feeding

A fed baby is best! Doesn’t matter if they have formula or breast, as long as their fed and looked after what the heck does it matter

You do what’s best for YOU and your little one, if their not latching well then formula may be the best way for you both :heartpulse:

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No one can tell you what’s right or wrong, only you will know. If you aren’t happy breastfeeding it will show. Happy mummy, happy baby x x

I never breast fed my kids.
Never had an interest in it and honestly being able to ask my partner to help with feeds was just amazing. Gave me time to rest and helped make sure I had no post partum issues.
Baby still slept close to me and on my chest so we still bonded.

Fed is best. If that’s pumping, feeing yourself or bottle.
As long as baby is fed that’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking it’s wrong :blush:

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As a dad of a breast fed baby, I’d say its completely your choice, your husband has a say but if you want to formula feed and not breast feed don’t feel guilty. It’s nice being able to feed my lil one when the wife pumps sometimes. You have to do what’s best for you and the baby and you being stress by pumping and feeding then that’s not gonna help the baby or you. They say that breast is best but IMO fed is best. My niece was formula fed and she’s perfectly healthy.

My first I only breast fed for 18 hours as I struggled. Second I was determined to breastfeed. I lasted 11 days. I went to a doctor for help. She was amazing, but I didn’t have much milk. Baby had only been getting a small amount to keep him quiet. Doctor put me on meds. I was then ment to feed him until he fell asleep (about 2-5 mins) then top up with formula. Then express every 2 hours. I did his first top up with formula and didn’t go back. I thought how am I ment to do this routine with a 3 year old and fifo husband. No regrets what so ever. I have 2 very healthy boys who very rarely get sick or have any problems.

Fed baby is a happy baby don’t feel bad it’s your baby you do what’s best for you :two_hearts:

Fed is best!
Doesn’t matter if its bottle or breast.
Don’t let anyone shame you for what you want or don’t want to do. Xxx

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I 100% recommend trying nipple shields. It took my baby a few weeks to learn to latch but with the help of shields it was so much easier, it also protects the nipple from latch damage. My baby has now been EBF for 3 months and hasn’t used shields since she was 4 weeks.

Join some breastfeeding groups of Facebook, there’s piles of support out there

Good luck and congratulations on your new baby :heart::slightly_smiling_face:

Join Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies they have fantastic support and qualified women who can help with your journey :sparkling_heart:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel guilty for not wanting to breastfeed: Thoughts?

It’s your body and your baby if you feel like you don’t want to then don’t . Whatever makes you feel more comfortable.

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It is perfectly fine to not exclusively breastfeed. A fed baby is a happy baby, formula is perfectly healthy :heart::blush: let your body heal & balance. You’re not a failure. My first I was told to stop breastfeeding due to my health was declining and attacking itself (2 month journey) if I would have known the first week it was not going to work out, I would have not started it. 2nd & 3rd I had no issues breastfeeding them. Due to more knowledge and taking better care of my health. Your health is just as important as baby, and if that mean formula, so be it. Your baby will have a full belly of nutrients and your health can heal :blush::heart:

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I also had a lot of issues with latching with my son which caused a tearful, red nippled momma battling this very thing. I even had a mantra - Just to the next feeding, then I’ll get the formula. With some lactation consulting, we finally figured it out. If you want to continue breastfeeding, contact the place you delivered at or your pediatrician for a recommendation. The local Le Leche could be a great resource too.

With that being said, try to be kind to yourself. You just started a very taxing journey that EVERYONE has an opinion about “the best way.” Confusion, guilt, feeling inadequate…these are totally normal feelings, not to mention hormone shifts and lack of sleep. This is the time to ask for help and lean on your support system. Make the best decision for you and your baby based on both of your needs. Maybe mix it up with formula and breast milk - it doesn’t have to be either/or.

We are always here for venting and advice :heart:

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It is okay to be done mama. I am an advocate of breast feeding but I wish I would have quit sooner with my second. My mental health took a dip and formula would have helped me get the break I needed. Please do whatever it’s right for you and your family. I encourage you to keep trying of course, but in the end a happy healthy family is what’s important! Sending :two_hearts:

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Do not feel guilty or allow anyone to make you feel guilty. A fed baby is the best baby. I didn’t produce any milk at all, so my daughter (she’s 6 now) was always formula fed. She’s happy and healthy and super super smart. If it’s causing you so much stress, don’t do it. A happy mom is the best mom for a baby. Please please. Don’t feel guilty for doing something that makes you feel better. Your baby isn’t going to know the difference.

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I don’t know if you’re open to trying it, but I found nipple shields helped my babies latch.

Other than that, you have to do what’s best for you. Mom guilt is the worst guilt!

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It is o.k to not breastfeed! I literally could not, I suffer from awful depression and sank into postpartum depression and decided my mental well-being was worth more than breastfeeding, so I could be the beet mom I can. As long as your babe is thriving and has a full tummy, you do what makes YOU comfortable.

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What’s most important is your mental health and that of your baby. Fed is always beat regardless of how you do it :heart: don’t beat yourself up! My first one was a struggle. She had extreme difficulty latching and I ended up pumping for 8 months. She was my first so I had the time. My second one latched immediately (was not expecting since I struggled sinuses with my
First) I became obsessed, I pumped even though she continued to breast feed directly. I ended up donating 10k ounces because my freezers were full and it kept coming. Very blessed and grateful to have been able to donate but looking back I missed out on a lot of sleep to wake up and pump. I also missed out on outings and events because it stressed me out to bring my pump and my 2 kids….I should have never allowed myself to miss out on time with my family, my kids and even friends, it mentally starts to take a toll. So my advice is you need to do what’s best for you, so that you can be the best for your baby :heart:

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It’s okay if you do or do not. I can tell you that I had this problem with my daughter and it was bc she was tongue/lip tied. Even once that was corrected I needed to use a nipple shield for the longest to get her to latch. I know there is no way I would have a manger to EP. maybe try a shield for a few days and if that doesn’t work go from there. But have her looked at for ties!

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Don’t feel guilty Mama!! I didn’t breastfeed my daughter or plan on for my new baby due in January. We need to normalize formula just like with everything else. Fed is best!! :heart::heart::heart::muscle::muscle::muscle:

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A FED BABY IS A HAPPY HEALTHY BABY!!! It doesn’t matter how. I tried to breast feed and had the same issues. Mine wouldn’t latch, even with nipple shields, I tried to pump but it just didn’t work out very well for me. By the time my daughter was 2 months old she was exclusively formula fed. She’s still healthy and happy 5 years later. Everyone has a different journey. There’s no shame in any decision you make as long as that baby is being fed

Don’t allow anyone to ever make you feel guilty!! I give my props to the breastfeeding mommas but unfortunately it just wasn’t for me! A FED BABY IS A HAPPY BABY, regardless of if it’s breast milk or formula :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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Get a referral for a lactation consultant, insurance usually will pay for it. Your baby may have a tongue or a lip tie, know as oral restrictions. The restrictions can be released and your baby will be able to nurse much better, even if you decide not to breastfeed, it will help her feed from a bottle as well. Tongue and lip ties are very common and the most likely cause of the inability to latch. They can also cause speech impediments, so it’s best to get it diagnosed and fixed ASAP. It also sounds like you have some post-partum depression working and it would be good if you could get help with that as well. Having a baby is overwhelming and your hormones are all working to try and get in balance again. Try not to be too hard on yourself! :hugs:

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