I was having some issues at the moment. I have a 15-month-old who I have to take to a hospital appointment my partner asked me to change the date because of work commitments he was with me while on the phone, and I said the 15th talking to him and he agreed then 20 mins after it was all sorted he said the 15th I can’t do that day big boss are coming to do a walk through the site. I also have an eight-week-old that is the reason I wanted him to come to help out. I know work is important, but it just feels like it comes before the kids and me. Feeling a bit abandoned atm I wanted to go on a movie date before my last was born, but he was not interested my birthday has just gone I did not get a happy birthday, a present or anything yet he got one of his female friends a present a week and a half later just feeling horrid how do you mums cope when work and everything comes before the family
Try sitting down and talking to your husband. Tell him how you feel. Men don’t know what we think or feel anymore than we know what they think/feel. Communication is the key.
I dealt with a similar situation for 15 years, work and school ALWAYS came before me and before our children, he always promised that once he reached a certain level/pay grade he would have more time… Guess what… He never had more time, towards the end he had less and less time, started saying he hated coming home because the kids were noisy, the food I made EVERY NIGHT wasn’t good enough, the house was never clean enough and on and on… If he doesn’t take finding work/life balance seriously, you will need to move on and you might say, not me, I did too, we’ve been divorced for 3 years now, he made it very clear that his family would ALWAYS come last, I couldn’t do it anymore🥺
That is not okay at all,you should be the biggest priority in his life along with the kids.not a happy birthday or present?yeah he would have been served divorce papers in a week…and other females he celebrated,thats a red flag,my guess is cheating.but if you enable him to act this way,it will continue.id pack up and start over.you can do it!
As for work,if he isnt a family man enough to take off or help you again,hes not gonna be a very good father or continued spouse.
You need to talk and tell him what you feel and that you feel alone. Especially since he forgot your birthday but not a friends. Work one will be tricky since if the big bosses come, I feel like he needs to be there for that. If he is the only one working you may need to compromise a little on that one.
You’re not a priority and neither are your kids, I’d be leaving, But I’m a no bullshit kinda gal, I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince or beg someone to prioritise what’s right.
There may be some deeper issues if he’s buying another woman gifts but not you on your bday…I dealt with someone like this for 7 years, we’re divorced now; been divorced for 10 years but my gut tells me when I read this that things probably won’t change.
I dealt with me and my daughter coming last for several years. We would talk and it would change for a week and then it would go back to the status quo. We’ve now been divorced 8 years and he is finally putting our daughter first. It’s taken years of me nagging him and finally when our daughter didn’t want to go to his house because he didn’t pay attention to her. I told him if he didn’t change his priorities that he would end up having no relationship with his daughter.
Work is important but so is your family. You can find a new job, not a new family or slow time down. It’s messed up he forgot about you but yet remembered her. I’ve never dealt with this situation and pray I never do but possibly tell him how you feel about it all. Tell him you need help with the kiddos and that they’re appointments are important just as important as work. My fiancé works night shift and we have a 3 year old. I depend on his family a lot to help out sitting while I do errands and such. Don’t know if that’s a possibility for you but it doesn’t hurt to ask for help from time to time(:
Christian couples counseling. A marriage works when Christ is at the center if it! I was not with Christ many years of my life…expert level sinner and only saved by His Grace!!
I’m sorry, but there’s no job in the world more important than being a spouse and/or father. Unfortunately, lots of women/men are more work-oriented than family-oriented and their other half doesn’t realize it until it’s too late. There’s no telling what his problem is, but you have to communicate your concerns to him and he has to turn things around. No excuses!
And who the f*** is this female friend and why is her birthday more important than yours. I would shut sh*t down REAL QUICK!!!
The fact hes didnt celebrate your birthday is awful, never mind the fact that he celebrated another womans. Id shut that down realll quick .
If you are not a priority to him, than you dont need him.
You shouldnt have to beg or even ask for basic treatment. If you gotta ask for it, than you dont even want it at that point. Find someone who values you cause he does not
Sounds like you’re a stay-at-home mom amd he’s working to make you that you continue to have that opportunity to do so. With that being said, perhaps look into asking family members or close friends to help with your kids when you need extra hands or look into finding a sitter to help you with the kids.
As far as the gift giving for a coworker, talk to him about it and how hurt you were that he is willing to put forth the effort towards a coworker but not to you.
Best of luck.
I personally wouldn’t be bothered by anything, except the fact that he bought someone else a bday gift and didn’t get you anything.
As for the working thing…well…from my own experience of having a man that won’t support his family or do anything, I couldn’t see myself being upset that my man works a lot, and doesn’t have much time for family. I’d rather that than being evicted all the time and losing half your crap and having to move to motels or friends houses. Again, that’s just my personal experiences speaking.
Here’s the thing…I was the breadwinner in my family. I had to work. Sometimes the kids appointments came second to work. They are important to me and they are a priority, but someone has to pay the bills & I only had so much PTO I could use.
As for birthday gifts, that sucks. It’s hurtful to be forgotten. I’d definitely address it with him
I may be the oddball out, but my partner is NOT the father of my children. However, he owns his own business and I think we established early on that his job and work come first because that is his source of income and what he utilizes to provide for us. I would say “Hey what dates do you think work for you?” And go from there.
When I feel lonely like that, I cope by discussing it with my husband. Especially in as much, if not more, detail than what I would ever share with strangers. Talking to him may be the only answer U need. I’m baffled at how many times I see someone seek advice without first talking to your spouse.
That’s horrible. Especially him not telling you Happy Birthday but giving a friend girl a present. Hell No! I would not put up with that. But then again I’m a b!tch and speak my mind and don’t give af what he or anyone else would say or think about it. I’d put my foot down real fast!
His ass would have been GONE the minute he stepped over my Birthday to remember another woman’s! That is just SICKENING
I was thinking you were a whiney housewife until you said he got his coworker a gift, but not you. At this point, you can suggest therapy, leave, or deal with it. If he won’t go to counseling, I would leave.
Buying gifts for someone at work would be the straw that broke this camels back. I don’t believe in having friends at work. (If I find a friend at work SHE is pretty freaking special). Sounds like there is more than meets the eye to me.
Men, most men do NOT handle those things well. His way of dealing with stress, fear and supporting family (yes even emotionally ) may be to do it financially. Men are wired differently. Handle things differently. Have a loving discussion with him. He may not even realize how he’s feelin. Hang in there mama
Work is important to support a family but it is not the most important thing. He’s putting you guys last and that is not ok. And he never wished you a happy birthday? No card, no nothing? But he gave another female a gift for hers. Something isnt right here. Maybe work is just an excuse he’s using to cover up what is really going on. He seems to have no problem prioritizing and making another woman feel special. That is so messed up.
Do you work as well or is he the sole income? When our boys were younger, my husband worked and I stayed home with the kids. He busted his ass pulling 12 hour days 5 & 6 days a week in a hot/cold warehouse to make sure our bills were paid, there was food on the table, and I could stay home to take care of the kids. The majority of the responsibilities were on me. The house, the kids, everything!!! I’m not gonna lie, it was a bit overwhelming. But looking back, I am forever grateful for that time with them! I didn’t check with him for doctor appointments, I just made them according to nap time, lunch time, etc. and my boys had A LOT of doctor appointments. Between the physical therapy, developmental therapy, nutrition therapy, asthma appointments at the specialist 2 hours away, & the helmet appointments 2 hours away, I always laughed that I was the stay at home mom who never got to stay home. If you do not work outside the home, stand on your own two feet that God gave you and take care of the kids. If you do work outside the home, then sit down with him and see if there are areas he can help with such as bedtime routine, do the dishes after supper, set the kids clothes out before bed for the next day, etc. I’m sure there are ways to get him involved besides him taking time away from work. Especially if it he is the sole source of income.
So a female friend is more important than you is basically what i got. And top that his priorities are elsewhere. Yeah i dont think so. He’s stepping all over you. No respect. There’s obviously something going on with female friend/work. I’d stop that real quick. If he can’t prioritize you, and children time to throw out the trash. Could be lying about work to be hanging out with so called special friend from work. Just saying. Id definitely wouldnt be dealing with that. Negative. Better to let go, and focus on yourself, your recovery, your babies.
Dont add up the things hes done wrong because of the one day he can’t ask him to prioritize you and the kids, but dont wait for change, be independent so that you dont have to rely on him,
You can always choose your children over him and walk away to do it by your self if he ain’t playing his part
If he remembers a female coworker and NOT YOU, that should tell you were his priorities lie…
To me it sounds like he’s ungrateful for all that you do at the home, I was the breadwinner in my family, still had to make our children’s appointments and take them around my work schedule, if they were sick guess who missed worked me, so his big bosses coming in that’s a big deal but I’m 100% sure he’s not the only one working there to take care of it. So far as getting another person let alone a female a birthday present, that’s a big red flag for me.
ya last me at the female coworker getting a gift over you.
I’d be hiring a divorce attorney, & demanding he pay for the court costs, spousal support, and child support
Actions speak louder then words. If he is buying other females presents but is not present for you on your birthday then his feelings are not at home, babies or not, it’s at work. That is not good.
You know what’s more important? Having a house over your head and food on the table. The idea that he’s putting work before family is ridiculous, he is doing it FOR the family, do you even appreciate what he does at all? Consider the amount of stress he has at work and then coming home to your unreasonable expectations of him, he said by your own words the “big boss” is coming around which sounds like he needs to be at work. This sounds a lot like whining from a kid. Learn to understand from his point of view. The last half is a lot of you wanting more from him, it sounds like you both need to talk and be on the same page. Complain less, do more- figure out babysitting and pick a date to go out, don’t take no for an answer. He may feel better about it, he may not, he may have financial stress about it. I don’t know about the other woman at work. It sounds his priorities are wrong. Again. Talk to your partner. Nothing comes from whining about it to people who are not your husband.
There is DEFINITELY something going on with him and that woman. Men don’t just buy gifts for women. That is a HUGE red flag. The fact that he totally ignored your birthday, but still remembered to buy this “female friend” a gift, is literally appalling. Like honestly, that would be a deal breaker for me. You do what you think is best for you but girl, if I was you, I’d tell him to kick fucking rocks. You’re at home busting your ass, taking care of his kids while he’s out buying gifts for other women… NOPE.
I’ve been struggling with this same thing. My husband thinks he’s an employee first husband and father last. Works 14/7 rn 12 hour shifts sleeps 10hours and the two hours left is dedicated to driving and getting ready for work. Been a struggle for me to see my husband all the time but he’s never here if that makes since. Constant fighting arguing told me work was more important than our 6month old appointment to get his shots and figure out my sons health situation so I’m right there with you girl:pensive:
All I can tell you is, this is exactly what happened to me before mine decided the coworker he bought gifts for was more important than his family! He was sleeping with her and accepting love letters and gifts from her while screaming at me anytime something didn’t go his way. Please please don’t wait for “proof” it’s not going to help! Leave this person who believes his coworker is more important and interesting than his family! YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO COMPETE FOR A PLACE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR FAMILY! Please understand I am not jaded, I just learned the very hard way and wish I had left early on.
It’s hard being married to a busy working man. You need to address your concerns and be honest. Most working men do not make their children’s appointments. It’s just not feasible for most working parents to make all appointments. It’s inexcusable that he would buy another female something and you nothing. Sounds like he might be cheating and there are other bigger issues.
He bought who what?? 
Oh no no no. Completely unacceptable. That’s a.deal breaker for me.
Sounds like you should find a lazy bum instead of a workin providing man 
My other half works over 12hrs a day to make sure his family is taken care of.
Yes it genuinely sucks not getting that “personal time” but he’s doing everything he can to provide for us… Complaining about that would be completely selfish IMO.
I wonder how single moms go to their OB appts and still have younger children
He could be being unfaithful as well. But that doesn’t appear to be your concern so I won’t make assumptions there.
Wow got a female’friend’ a present but not you! I’d be ripping him a new one!! I’d find someone else to go with you he’s obviously not interested in helping 
Work first is ok because that’s what keeps u going, treating u 2nd best is not ok and definitely not to another female
Me and my husband always pull both our phone calendars out and make sure we are clean three babies myself and I know the feeling this is how it feels when I make a doctors apt for myself anything else everyone is ready if I have a doctor apt my husband won’t even get out of bed in time 
pick your battles I guess 
i still made it work until covid now I can’t do anything with out his help or go anywhere because well covid restrictionists ready time get back to normal I can Rangel three kids all day everyday but god forbid I try and find a baby sitter once every six months
Wow you are truly ungrateful. Your husband is busting his bum to make sure there is a roof over yalls head and food om the table. Step up and handle things. Him forgetting your birthday isn’t that big of a deal but if it bothers you COMMUNICATE it to him.
Damn there is alot of insecure immature people in the comment thread lol
Take a step back and talk to him like a mature couple. Maybe hes going through some stuff just like you are? You never know what the other is going through unless you openly communicate. He could just be overwhelemed with work and home life that hes neglecting things he doesnt realize. Coming to strangers on FB for relationship advice is the worst thing you could do.
Do you work? Sounds like you may be a stay at home mom and if so Dr appointments are on you not him. His job is what provides for your family. If him taking time off for a Drs appointment jeopardizes his job then I dont blame him one bit for not taking the time off, he did the responsible thing.
Whoopty do he got a female coworker a gift. Was it a big gift? Expensive? If not then who cares? Men are aloud to have females as friends and vice versa.
Sorry, but bounce, asap!
My kiddo has had a ton of doctors appointments and I’m a single mom so I’ve had to take her alone 
The present thing is sus, you should talk to him about how it bothered you.
My husband is the same. When our 2nd child was born, I had to go to the health dept & the doctor’s office with a 3yr old & newborn by myself. Even though, yes, your husband SHOULD be helping you, as a mother sometimes we just have to suck it up & do shit ourselves if it’s gonna get done. Tell him he can call & reschedule the appointment
That’s Bc he’s keeping you busy with the kids and as he’s keeping busy with the friend!!!
You’re looking at this wrong. It’s not everything comes before the family. It’s the family is not important. He doesn’t remember your birthday but can give a gift to someone else? That’s he doesn’t care. Suggest counseling. If he says no, or he doesn’t think it’s necessary, time to go. Call an attorney.
The buying a coworker presents should be much more an issue than kids appointments honestly
This man is disrespecting you and your children. Do you want your children to think this is how a good mother is treated? Do better for them.
My fiancé’s and I have some crazy schedules. I have a 19 month and this similar situation happened three weeks ago. I finally gave up and told my fiancé he will need to figure it out since I have tried to accommodate rescheduled this appointment three times. Once I put it on him it became a whole new ball game. It made him realized how much I did and communicated with the doctor. I purposely didn’t go to the appointment so he had to deal with it. Finally he realized how much I brought to the table. Once he did we talked about the next night and he apologized. Some men are stubborn… okkk most are 
.
Sometimes we just have to let them do things for their own. If he has a demanding job then he needs to figure how to balance bath. I had to learn this same thing. It’s ok to fail but we must learn. You have tell him how it makes you feel without emotion. When we let the emotions control the conversation then it becomes a one way street vs two way communication. We state the facts of what happen, how it makes each person feel, ask for input to fix in the future and reset boundaries. Hope this helps.
Also was this coworker having a party? Has he ever expressed interest in her? I would ask questions and understand his mindset before full on defense mode.
We have 4 kids, 14, 9, 18 months, and 5 months old. My husband received a promotion in 2020 and ever since then work has come first. He works 9-10 hrs a day and 6-7 hrs on Saturdays. He misses all sporting events for our kids, rushes through dinner to go out with his friends, and only spends about 10-15 min with his kids or me a day. I work 40 hrs a week and take care of all kids. I bring it up to him and he’s a bit better for about a week then it’s back to the same behavior. It’s exhausting. I hope you get the answers you are wanting
I buy my own presents 
so if you see me in brand new tennis shoes after EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY mind your business.
He works to provide. I had 3 kids of own and his 2 i took to most appts and places alone. We both worked full time. And every other weekend… I took all 5 to work where i was nurse and ran lab. Wr worked it oht to swap weekends to hqve kids but if i got called in i just took them with. Need to communicate alot and well. But dont get mad over small stuff. Work takes care of bills.
To be honest, I wouldn’t cope with this. I wouldn’t put up with it. Don’t settle, you and your children deserve better.
Does he want to move up in the company? Maybe he is trying to make a good impression and make moves that help the family in the long run. Maybe someone else can watch the 8 week old if your not breast feeding?
You could go without him and tell him later how it went?
Write all your concerns in a list format and spell it out for him.
The same thing was being done but hated focusing on what he couldn’t because of work and then I realized his lack of participation was hindering me to be an efficient mother. So I decided to stay busy and take lead. I don’t even ask. Now, he gets upset because he didn’t know there was an appointment or what took place. My answer has now become. ITS DONE. At the least I do push him to prepackaged the diaper bag after work. Some sort of baby chore after work. Idgf he’s tired. ONE THING and it sort of makes me feel a teeeny bit better"
Anyways. I’ve found independence to be the most liberating recently. Stay out at work all day for all I care. I’ll be in someone’s strip mall window shopping or having a tea party.
the only thing I would be concerned with is the gift for another woman…honestly the man needs to work to provide for your family…I have three kids and do it alone all the time because my husband drives a truck and is NEVER HOME!
if he remembers someone else’s day
and not yours attorney time
Work is work and as mother’s we learn to juggle and cope with appointments and kids. Yes it would be nice if the hubby can help but it’s not always do able to get the time off…
Personally I would be more concerned that he didn’t acknowledge your bday and brought a present for the co worker instead. This I would be bringing up in a discussion. Good luck xo
You’re ready to be a parent, a wife and he ain’t ready to be a responsible parent and husband. You need to move on. You and your babies deserve better. 
Well money is what supports his family so common sense handle it
Here’s a little twist. Both parents working full time day job. Evening job not feasible or available. Kids had doctor/medical appointments and or sick, can’t go to school. Both had the time to take off with pay if using a personal day/time to take care of children’s needs. Often in a debate with spouse/mother, father gets the short end because the excuse is: I can’t take time off; you take the time; this goes on back and forth. Father loses debates. Mother says her job is too important, I can’t take the time off. Well, both jobs are important for a regular household family lets say 3 (in my case) or even 4. The fact is, as being the father of 1 child, often get into work debates with boss, from calling out due to sick child or some appointments cause Mom had a solid heart and never gave in. Unfortunately, she never even agreed to share the time or take turns. This created uneasy family values and trust. Myself, over the course of 10+ years, I always took the time off for my child, regardless my position or seriousness of work. However, spouse either had no idea, or didn’t care enough or even realize, that if daddy was to get fired or lost his job over calling out too much, she would be the sole bread winner and more of her earnings/pay check would have to be used to support everything. This daddy, father and spouse knows all too well about first come first serve. Knowing the importance of child care as I was also a babysitter for 3 kids at 16 being the only older kid around. This was initiated back in the late 70’s and as the latter years maybe like 20+ years ago when we had our child. The old school thing is this; it takes two, generally speaking to start a family. Then, later if children are to be added, both should work out arrangements for time off if child is sick or appointments are needed. Cause your both going to need this discussion before those appointments start adding up and will last until that child can drive to their own appointment. Just remember, all jobs are important as the other one if both are working. Also, family is to support one another, share times, and children’s needs. Once it gets too separated or one feels like doing everything, often can lead to family debates and or job loses. I know. I’ve been there and done that.
One last view. Some guys are usually not prone to keep some “dates” in mind per say. I don’t know why, but trust me, its not cause we don’t care. Most woman have the knack to keep dates on hand and up to date moreso. I’m sure if dating or seeing more of each other and going to important functions like anniversaries or birthdays, the guy would come around to know what date is for whom. When I became a member into my wife’s family, her cousins, their kids, and in-laws, some 20+ years of marriage, I hardly kept track or knew exact birthdays (maybe 2) or anniversaries (until the day before or day of) cause it was almost impossible to remember some 20-30+ dates in one calendar year for her entire family. It was never recorded on any calendar, either. Also, when your spouse has 3 female cousins with the same “first” name, of course different last names, you would tend to forget who’s who is the celebration for unless the last name is mentioned.
If there is a specific reason to have him at the appt tell him. I have a daughter with 2 different disorders that require multiple specialist at a Children’s Hospital. It’s nice to have someone with me if we get bad news. As far as the birthday I’d talk to him about it. Yes I get he is working and supporting his family but he also choose to marry you and have kids. It takes more than money to be a husband and father.
My partner has to go into work regardless. He feels awful when he has to miss an appointment with our daughter, but then I call him when I get out of the appointment. Unfortunately, he can’t be two places at once. At least he’s being responsible at keeping a roof over your head, I suppose. X
P. S - If he bought a work mate a gift, instead of me, I’d be well pissed.
Once a cheat always a. Chat you know what to do go away to a family member for a few days and see what happens that’s very rude to forget your birthday 
and didn’t get you a gift but got his lady friend a gift he got no respect for you hun xx time to move on and I think it time to move on it’s not easy but it’s choice good luck 
take care think of children and your self x
Hes communicating with you to reschedule. He isnt saying he wont do it. It sounds like he is trying to be a provider, which means he also needs to be present at work for important things. So work with him on this, he isnt abandoning you, he may just be a poor planner ( i personally double/ triple book myself quite frequently)
Hold on… It says he ASKED you to change the date, then you agreed on the 15th, then 20 mins later he can’t do that date bc there’s a walk through with the big boss? And then he ignored your birthday but bought his “female friend” a gift on hers?? My money says Miss Gift Recipient is suddenly free on the 15th. You need to confront him on all of it and have a lawyer on speed dial.
Well you might try disappearing for a little while. Just take the kids and leave for a couple of days and don’t tell him see if he misses you then. Or see how long it takes him to realize you’re gone
Ok I don’t like hearing he completely ignored your birthday bit got a coworker female a gift for hers. That’s disrespectful. Being a working mother i can understand not being able to move around big wig days. He just wants you to reschedule which shouldn’t be a problem as long as its communicated. I think you’re still mad at him about your birthday and quite honestly you should be. I’d let him know until he gets it through his skull he disrespected you and he needs to make it up to you. And be sure a second adult can even go with. I still can’t bring a second adult to my children’s appts. So I usually have to bring the 4 year old for my now 10 months old appts. I’ve had to bring my 6 year old too when school was virtual.
If he can find time to buy a work colleague a birthday present! He can find time to make his child hospital appointment and show some you some appreciation on your birthday…sit him down explain how your feeling and what you want from him and of he can’t give you …go it solo … there has to be a work life balance
He forgot your birthday and bought another woman a gift a week later?!?! That’s so wrong on so many levels.
Most Doctors aren’t even allowing spouses to come in because of COVID. Have you even confirmed the Doctor will allow him to come?
Omg!! The advice in the comments section are terrible! Both my ex husband and I were active duty and managed to coordinate days off for important dates, which include doctors appointments. There is no excuse tor not helping, as long as you aren’t asking him to take off from work on a regular and constant basis. Maybe a nanny or childcare need to come into the picture? Remind him it was your birthday. Don’t sit in silent misery.
My husband works 50 to 70 hours a week
He works from 2 pm till 2 to 3 am sometimes later. He also sleeps till about 1145 then gets a shower and everything and I see him all of 20 mins during the week. He has Sundays off and that’s the day he works on whatever extra he has going on.
In 6 years I got him to take off 2 days so we could go on a mini vacation and that was just last month for my sons birthday. He is very committed to work bur he is also the only one working and the only one paying the bills.
He knows he has to make sacrifices in order for us to have what we have. It sucks bur there’s nothing I can really do about it.
I know hes working and supporting you and both of your kids, but my youngest sons dad use to take a day off from work if any of my older kids needed to go to the doctors, but if hes communicating with you and saying that day wouldnt be good because he NEEDS to be there…then maybe you both can talk it out and schedule a good day he wont be busy and needed at work.
On another note…he doesnt even acknowledge your birthday not even say Happy Birthday, but buys another female a present a week later?! I would be saying something! I could see if she was a friend with BOTH of you and you BOTH buy her a gift, but with someone he works with at his job and you dont know…suspicious! Ask him! If red flags start showing up again later on…then I wouldnt even bother with him or asking questions. Obviously if he was cheating …hes not going to admit it unless he really wants out of the relationship and tells you. The first part about him cancelling wasnt a biggie but the second part is! It’s hard bringing all of your babies with to doctor appts for them or you, but it’s got to be done especially if your man is buying presents for other women and forgetting about your birthday!
We as women need to learn how to be independent. Obviously he is not going to be around forever. Take your child to the appointment by yourself. It’s not going to be easy yet it’s not impossible. As for not getting you anything for your birthday, that’s totally uncalled for. How the f… you get another female a present yet totally disregarded yours. I would never tolerate a man like yours. NEVER!!!
The work thing he is trying to take care of everyone. But there is a little weird if he didn’t get u nothing for ur birthday but got another girl something.
he IGNORED your birthday, but got Another Woman a gift on hers ?!?
RED
FLAG
Take him to work so you can take you kid to his appt
My grandmother always said disrespect me once shame on me disrespect twice shame on you…ignoring your birthday as the mother of his children but buying another lady a gift wraps it up in a nutshell. If your posting this you already know what you should be doing
Sounds like he’s found the work lady to spend time and buy things for. He’s moving on…
At least u have someone to help when he can. He was trying to reschedule to help u. Im a single mom and dont have any help at all and I dont get child support. U need to just learn to do things on ur own. If I can do it (5 kids) then u can too. Yes its a struggle but us women are stronger than most think. But like I said atleast u have someone who pays the bills, make sure u have everything u and ur kids need. I barely make ends meet. U have it made. And he’s willing to work around things. But that bday thing, that was messed up. Makes me wonder how he feels about that coworker. Like who does that!?
Honestly, I’m used to taking both my kids to drs and dental appts alone. My husband works out of town a lot . If I waited for him to get home,then they would never go to the Dr. It isn’t easy,but you get used to it. However…buying a female coworker a bday gift and not u…Very fishy. Even my hubby remembers my bday and sends money or waits until he gets home to get me something. Me thinks he has a relationship with said coworker
Is he the sole provider?
He’s probably cheating with a coworker or “friend”
Communication is the step forward. You need to find a time when the children are asleep, and just say this is how I feel and this isn’t to push on you but I’m making you aware of my feelings.
I’m sorry that he ignored your birthday while acknowledging someone else’s, that must hurt. He’s clearly taking you for granted. I don’t care how hard he works for the family, that’s not right. Not even a boyfriend would do that.
He didn’t acknowledge your birthday 
and then got another female a gift??? Nah uh, birthdays are so important, to have a day just dedicated to you I love my birthday so much, my husband has to celebrate it for the whole week:see_no_evil:
I’m sorry that you had to go through that. Especially since you might be feeling a bit vulnerable and emotional because of the new baby❤ sending lots of love and light to you.
Oh and also, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY 
Ok so first off I struggled to take all of my 5 kids to the Dr appts until my older step kids could be trusted to babysit. (They used to spend weekdays with their mom but we now have them full time.) So 3 kids ages 5 3 and my daughter was a newborn. And I had to do that solo after c-sections. That is definitely not something to argue about or expect him to be able to always help out with. Especially if he is the one working. And at least his communicating that he can’t do it, vs last minute not being able to show up. Second, girl talk to him, ask him if there is something that needs to be addressed. Because it sounds like he is feeling some type of way, to forget your birthday and then get a female coworker something later on. Like did you guys discuss your birthday before hand? Did you wait all day for a happy birthday and didn’t get it? It’s something you need to talk out.
Get over it, quit complaining.
Hell no. That birthday thing and gift for another woman is bullshit and there is something very wrong here and y’all need to have a grown up conversation about it Now!
Work does comes first. Without $ you’re starving and homeless. You had multiple children knowing your husband is gone. Looks like you’re going to the doc with 2 kiddos.
Ummm…why have another baby with him if he is…sorry, but shagging his female work mate, didn’t give AF about your birthday enough to even say happy birthday & doesn’t do anything with the kids…
He’s a lost cause, he is sleeping with someone he works with!
Did you bring it up? Why he got her something but not you!? That’s not okay