My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and share a 9-month-old. I have primary custody. We don’t live together because we are trying to save up for a place but spend weekends together with his parents. Lately, I’ve been starting to feel differently about him. He doesn’t use my name or call me “babe” like he used to, but he does tell me that he loves me. I still call him babe occasionally, but I’m also the one to kiss or hug first. Aside from sex once in a while and a kiss hello and goodbye, there’s no real physical affection between us. He spends most of the time I’m over, texting his friends, or having a beer and watching tv. If we do go out without baby, we don’t have anything to talk about really. I know that life is stressful for him between his dad’s medical issues, under-appreciation at work, and having a daughter to love, but I’m starting to feel differently. I used to be able to see myself saying “yes,” but now, if he were to propose (and I don’t think he will until we are in a good place financially, if ever), I don’t know if I’d accept. Is it just me? How do I fix this? He’s my first serious relationship, and I love him to death, but I also need to feel like he wants to be with me.
Is the problem him wanting to be with you, or YOU wanting to be with HIM…
Sounds like he’s lost that lovin feeling
You can’t make him care.
Sounds like YOU need to get your ducks in a row and figure out what YOU want. You have to make those decisions and based off this post you dont feel that connection and need to move on or talk it out especially with a child in the situation
Maybe you’re growing apart? It happens, but no one here can read his mind. You have to sit down and actually have a serious conversation about how the both of you see your future together. You share a child, so this whole financially stable thing is just getting me here, either you two want to be together or you don’t. There are struggles financially in any relationship, you can be fine one year then the next have it ripped away from you, but the biggest support you should have would be each other.
Honeymoon stage is over sadly. Now the work part begins. The true part. The love part.
Talk to him, make sure he’s still in it, then start working at it.
It’s getting to know each other at THIS level. You all weren’t parents before. It’s learning each other at ever stage and refalling in love with that new person at every stage you both grow thru.
Relationships are a full time job…and if both sides aren’t working at it…it’ll never flurish.
So y’all both gotta sit down, talk and figure out what’s next. Staying silent and unhappy solves nothing.
First step to solving this problem… stop asking Facebook for advice and talk to your boyfriend. None of us know him or you enough to give proper advice. We can’t get inside of his head. He’s the person you should be asking.
Sounds like she dont want to be with him actually.
Always trust your instincts is best advice
First things first girl dont over stress it guys have a tendency to not pay attention to a women’s needs overtime, they forget how to treat a woman because you’ve been with him for soo long… So sit with him explain how you feel make sure you guys are on the same page it sounds to me like you just crave more attention & affection & THATS OKAY!
Dump him he is just useing you
Look the next guy over be for you
Get with him
Are you both working? Maybe a small apartment together? Have a serious talk with him about your future together. Being financial set could go on forever. Sometimes people grow apart, sounds like that might be the case. Maybe don’t go weekends for a while? Sort your feelings out.
Why do women think they need a man… I’ve been single almost 11 yrs and enjoy it…
Take the kid… File custody/child support papers and move on…
Why don’t y’all talk to each other before asking advice so you can ask with both options available?
Relationships arnt always rainbows and butterflies, fun and games. There is down time. There is boring time. Theres also annoying time. You just need to know if hes the one you want you want to spend you’re life with even on the boring uneventful days.
I would agree with most of the other responses. Talk to him, find out where you both stand, and if you both are committed to working on any issues. I would do this before you commit to living together, as that will be harder to change. Relationships are not all romance, and it’s about seeing each other’s worst and still wanting to stand next to them.
Don’t get pregnant again.
Find someone who’s happy to be with you.
Relationships take work from both sides. If neither of you r willing to fight to be together then there really is no point. Be up front, communicate, and tell him how u feel. Good luck!!
You’re waiting for a good place financially. While the place you are waiting in isn’t even worth waiting in. If its not good now, it wont change later. Get it?
You have a child together and since it isnt an abusive relationship, I say try to rekindle things. A lot of times, after the honeymoon stage is over and babies are added into the mix, things can get dull, boring and routine. We start to take the other person for granted. Relatiomships go through ups and downs (trust me Im going on 23 yrs together) and weve been through everything, but if you put in the work, set some special time together and try and remember why you fell in love in the first place, things can get better. It may seem one sided at first but take the first step and see how things go.
You guys are at the point of honeymoon phase being over and a new baby. I would sit down with him and be very honest that your missing the intimacy. Also maybe try a new date that you initiate the intimacy. Let him know that you want to love him the way you want to be loved.
Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.
Go to a relationship counsellor. See if you can get him to go too.
Reality is setting in for him…
The honey moon is over!!
Romanticism will ruin you if you don’t get your head around it… this is reality.
Talk to him an tell him how you feel trust me if he cares he will listen
“I dont know if I’d say yes” “but i love him to death”
This doesn make any sense. U said this.
Were not gonna force u to love him
Ur f sound like ur feeling guilty cuz u fell out of love
We cant tell u what to do on this becuz u both should learn ur love language
Living apart has probably contributed to feeling this way
Just sit down and talk to him. Men get really comfortable with their mate and sometimes forget about seeing what you need. He’s not a mind reader so just talk to him may as well nip this in the bud now and find out where his head and heart is. As far as waiting to be more financially stable um that may never happen. You have a child together and if you both want to be together why not just move in with him.
So is it you who is indeed becoming uninterested? Something to think about!
Also, this could be just that as time goes on and raising a baby that there’s less time for the other stuff BUT it definitely needs work and IF yLl are both still in love and what to be together then y’all need to sit down and have a talk and find a way to get the spark back.
I think you guys need to sit down together without the baby and discuss all of this stuff and how you’re feeling and how he’s feeling because nine times out of ten he’s probably feeling the same way and is just afraid to say something tried talkin it out if it doesn’t work after that then go ahead and call it quits but do not be a mother who turns her child against her father
I would ask him straight up f he wants to be with your or sees a future with you ,but from reading this you stated you don’t know if he wants to be with you but as I read this I think you are the one who is unsure and might want out of it maybe you need you ask yourself if you want a future with him or to move on if you choose to move on make sure its friendly try to avoid the bitter break ups that lead to drama
It sounds more like you are more on the side of not wanting to be with him. Men can have postpartum symptoms too. Even 9 months later. Ask yourself some hard questions: Do you see a future with him? Do you enjoy your living situation or should it change? Are you staying in the relationship for convenience? Is his financial situation stable? Is yours, with and with out him? What is best for your child first then you? I hope you can find the best outcome for you and your child.
Your boyfriend is a caregiver to his dad. That right there can be overwhelming and exhausting physically and emotionally. Quite possibly he is drained in as all those areas and may need to find s support group for caregivers.
It also sounds like you may be questioning yourself in the relationship and if you want to be in it. Maybe a counselor.
Honestly some ppl can just feel that cofortable i love my bf but alot of timea i perfer to sit in the same area as him nd just not talk to him or act like he is even there.
There cancleing a few weekends in a row see how he reacts
Plain and simple, it sounds like you have grown apart. My advice, get counseling, it will help you decide if you can"fix" the issue or help with you co parenting. I wish you luck, because after 24 yrs of marriage, I am in the same boat and I don’t wish this on anyone.
I honestly would talk to him let him know what’s bothering you this is what my husband & I do we talk it out
Just be honest with him. Let him know your feeling unappreciated and not as loved and wanted as before. If he is exhausted and overwhelmed that isn’t any reason to treat you differently. When your together he should be making an effort to be affectionate and talk to you and not be in his phone.
If you tell him how you feel and he doesn’t make an effort or change and try to make you feel loved and your feelings for him don’t change or improve, maybe it is best to move on if you can’t see a future with him and if your both not putting 100% of an effort into each other
Tell him his loss and find someone better
thats because you lived your lives together backwards. you find the one you want to marry. then you find a steady job.spend some time at it. find a house for you and that one.then get married and have children. but hopefully he was mature enough to be able to provide for you and your child.theres way more to marriage than sex. i got married at 24. to someone who said we could have a lifetime together. gave him 2 beautiful daughters.sahm. cook from scratch almost every night only to be told after 33 years.he said were only married on paper and all i was to him was for sex. always helps to know someone before you marry them. i only knew him 9 months. after only having known him from being in my company in the Army in Germany. maybe you can still make it if hes as serious about your future as a couple and a family.hope so for your sake. in my case i got an uncontested divorce.he didnt come to court and NOW im about to marry someone ive known for 15 years.much easier that way. makes more sense.