I went to pick my daughter up from daycare and she wasn’t even excited to see me. She didn’t want to go home… And I’m not going to lie, I cried. I feel like she hates being with me… She’s so talkative and playful at daycare. Yet she’s super quiet and reserved at home. Somebody help me? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like my daughter doesn't like me
It’s probably not you. It’s more the other kids… Someone to play with… don’t take it to heart… do more stuff together.
Is she an only child?
You are lucky she likes daycare. My grandchildren hated it and cried when they were left there.
Lots of kids love daycare and prefer being there. They gave friends, activities, songs, books, tons of toys etc it is a full day of excitement. I hate to say it but you’ll get used to it. They go through fazes sometimes they are pumped to see you and sometimes they cry because they don’t want to go home
How old is your little one? She may just be off in her own world at home, since she is not around all the other kids. It isn’t you. It’s a kid thing. Don’t take it to heart.
Sweet girl don’t stress! She probably is loving being there because she is growing her independence and loves being with her friends etc my son is the same haha he is 4 and doesn’t want to leave because he has made some great friendships there! But my 2 year old is happy to see me. Don’t take it to heart. If you are really worried maybe organise a mummy and me day just the two of you get your nails done and go for lunch and take her to a play park etc don’t stress you’re doing amazing.
Darl Ur not doing anything wrong 🫂:heart: She’s just growing up
Maybe mimick her daycare routine?
Daycare is pretty young to not like you , maybe try some bonding time, playing ball or a park , or doing a craft or baking ?
I’d say it’s more that she struggles with the transition from day care to home, at that ages it’s a lot to process… won’t be that she doesnt want to be with you
Also at home she’s probably more reserved because it’s her safe place, no competition, less noise, less stimulation. It’s her quiet place
My daughter who is now 10 hated coming from daycare I would get to the daycare and she would see me then hurry and act as if she didn’t and would continue to color or play it kinda made me feel some type of way but at the time she was the only kid and had no one to play with all she had was me and my grandma. Try not to take it ti heart it’s normal
The fact that she is happy and does not want to leave daycare is a great indication that you picked an awesome daycare. Good job mom. The fact that she is not excited to see you has nothing to do with how wonderful you are as a mother. She loves you. She just wants to show you how happy she is at the daycare that you trusted to care for her.
My daughter does this with my aunt. She goes there and refuses to come and will literally throw a tantrum so she would sleepover alot before school started she would cry the whole 3min drive home then going into the house and sit on my living room floor and cry. At least i know shes loved there. Itd be an issue if she cried that she didnt wanna go
I picked up my 3 year old from daycare & he told the worker “what the hell is she doing here”
LOL honestly she probably loves to be around all the other kids & toys.
Its not you. You can’t compete with other littles her own age. It’s actually a good sign and a sign that you’re doing a good job. She feels secure with your love and isn’t all over you for reassurance. The fact that she loves the social aspect of daycare is great.
Children go through all kinds of phases. Sometimes you will be her all time favorite person and then in a while she will ignore you and move on to another person. It’s called growth and broadening her horizons. Don’t cry, you will always be her Mom, and the one she comes back to throughout her life.
What’s your sign? What’s hers? Are you compatible? Silly, but Google it.
How old is she? Sounds kinda like my boys were. They wouldn’t want to come home. School was fun. Other kids, fun toys etc. Home was boring. I admit it hurts. It’s not you though. Once they get into kindergarten they want to go home & stay home.
Oh mama, big hugs. Personally I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. Kids can act like that, it’s like they go through a phase. Maybe you can take her on a “mommy daughter” date and have an easy conversation.
I think it’s ok for you to ask her if she likes it when “mommy picks her up?” “Where is it the most fun?” “What makes daycare more fun?” Kiddos will get this way. Ask her tough questions, “is everything ok at home?” “ Does something make you sad when you are home?”
Only you know your baby.
I don’t think your baby hates you, I don’t think she doesn’t like you, personally I think she is a toddler and loved being social with her buddies.
I’m sending love and patience. May God help you through this saddening time with comfort and strength .
FEEL GOOD ABOUT THAT! THEY FEEL SAFE at their daycare!!! I did a schoolage daycare program for over 16 years. The kids got upset when parents would come early and they missed out on an activity I had. I closed my schoolage program for 18 months to care for a set of twins born early. When they got about 12 months they would cry and not want to go home with mom and dad. They would CLING to me and not want to go in their car seats. UNDERSTAND… During the week your kids are at daycare more hours than at home… IT is only natural to feel this way if they are in a good place and a great daycare.
My little had one preschool that she loved. When she was about 2 I’d have to chase her around the school and catch her to take her home. She’s 17 now and we’ve been very close her whole life. We’re best friends.
Nothing wrong, she is probably tired.
My daughter loved daycare as well she had a full day of friends and activities she always wanted to stay .
Be happy she LOVES daycare. She’s well taken care of
I’m also a working mom. My daughter has passed that phase. I got so scared I started taking her with me to work. Not leaving her with nanny.
Well daycare is fun and all her friends are there. You can’t take it so personally, otherwise you’re going to feel this way most of her life.
I’m just wondering why the new mommies are so insecure…your baby will.always love you! You will always be number 1. Nothing to worry about! I would be very happy if my child loved day care so much that they didn’t want to leave.
Kids are brutal. I agree it’s the kids and toys and all the activity. Home is relaxing and not so much going on. Kids and all their energy love being active! Maybe try some fun activities and get her excited to do little experiments or make a mommy daughter ice cream date? I used to love doing that with my littles. We still do on occasion but they are at the age where I’m no longer cool right now
Sometimes my son says he doesn’t want to see me bc he’d rather be with my mom. Kids are like that. We all got tired of our parents at one point🤣￼￼￼
My daughter is 14 now. The first day of daycare she told me bye like I was nobody to her. Just wait till she’s 14 and you take her to a birthday party at David & Buster and she act like she don’t see you cuz she’s with her friends. I wanted to play games too:rofl:! Find something to do together. My daughter loves shopping at Starbucks.
Your baby lovesssss you.
Be happy she is comfortable and happy at daycare though. Means she’s loved while you’re working
She loves you no matter what because she will be the one to call when she has a boo-boo or if she is scared she’s going through a faze most kids do but maybe do a fun activity with her just only you two so you can have a bonding time and make it a regular thing if it works but she can also be really tired after a long day to ask the teachers if anything is changed and plus if she’s an only child then maybe she’s just a little lonely not have her friends to play with constantly it could be many things but we are definitely going to rule out you thinking she hates you! You sound like a wonderful mom but also I tired one too like I said I think you and daughter need to have a bonding day!!! Hope you have a wonderful night!!!
I work at a daycare and every time I get off and it’s time to leave my 4 year old throws a fit. Mainly cause she is having a heck of a good time at “school”
Try not to be upset by that! There are many parents concerned as to why their children don’t feel safe and comfortable when you leave them. I personally would see this as a sign of her having healthy interactions with her peers and feeling safe and respected when you are not there to protect her. Just my thoughts
She is probably bored with you , try to do more stuff with her.
I think that is awesome that she wants to stay at the daycare , it means that she is having fun and that they treat her right ( hard to find ).
I’m happy you reached out
Because that would make any mother cry
Honestly I would try to grow closer to her in different ways a mother and daughters relationship is a beautiful thing maybe do some things she enjoys at Daycare ask her and play those together genuinely have fun be a kid in those moments you can also just take time out for just you two to have a mom and daughter day where you do some fun things together spa day movies the park girls day of sorts maybe have something y’all do together that’s fun when you pick her up like a cool little handshake or a cute little saying or maybe if she’s been good at day care she gets a small little surprise ice cream stickers 15 minutes stay up last bed time those things that way y’all have your own thing going as well!!
And yes I do believe that’s great she is safe sound and happy at day care but ultimately you’re her mother and want her to be super happy to see you above anyone or anywhere else!!
Good luck !!!
I was a daycare teacher and can tell you that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Some kids just hate leaving because they are having so much fun with their friends, it’s nothing personal about you. When she’s get home all the exhaustion and emotions of the day hit her because she is in her safe place, home with Mommy. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you’re doing a great job!
My children did the same thing years ago, I felt at the time and still do that it’s other kids/children; someone she can play with or interact with is why most kids don’t want to leave their day care environment… it’s not you… it’s their little environment/world where they can play and have fun with other kids.
My youngest used to cry going to daycare then have the biggest tanty at pick up. It’s just she hasn’t mastered expressing her feelings so crying and tantrums are it
This doesn’t mean she hates you. It just means she loves daycare which is a good thing! My daughter has cried when I came to pick her up from daycare because she doesn’t want to leave on multiple occasions. She just has so much fun playing with her friends and the toys there. Don’t worry mama!
Get on her level and No don’t let that get to you. She’s a child just love her and she’ll love you too. Take her home and y’all have a teddy bear picnic.
My son prefers his father over me . And to be honest at first it did bother me but not anymore . See I have a 21 year old that I raised by myself so it’s kinda cool to see how much my son admires his father I love it
I feel like you’re really over thinking this and taking it too personal. She can’t be more than 3. It can be normal for them to not want to leave.
Ahhh… you have a very social child there
My girls were both like that with me… I drop them with great grandma and they’re social butterflies… I pick then up, I’m chopped liver, lololololol being a single mom at the time, it was really REALLY hard on me
My kids are 8, almost 16, and almost 14 now btw…
I got jealous, got my feelings hurt, even cried on so many occasions…
I decided on certain days, the kids and I would do certain bonding activities… that I randomly made up…
The one that got them chatty with me… “dance parties”
I’d crank the music (made a very child friendly Playlist on youtube) on my laptop speakers and we would all dance and sing together… during commercial breaks I’d start small conversations lol… what’s dance should we do next? Spinning? Ok… then started asking about random things, that they could chat about in their little words…
Not gonna lie, I was exhausted and at first always felt too tired to keep it up… but 30 mins to an hour of playtime, dance and sing time, etc… really helped me…
At bedtime I’d read to them all, on the sofa, for 30 mins (voices, sound effects, and all) then tucked them all in… my youngest is 8 now, but every night she still expects “You gonna have sweet dreams? Yes! Sunshine and rainbows? Yes. Puppies and kittens? Yes. Mermaids and starfish? Yes! I’ll see you in the morning littlest of my babies”
We still have dance parties, lol… my 16 yr old son even joins in occasionally still…
But now we talk about everything, even the things I’m uncomfortable talking about, lol… when my guy came into our lives, (after we had known each other for a very long while before he ever met my kids) it didn’t take him long to fit in
You just gotta find something that’ll help you feel like you’re leaping mountains… when really, young ones see you as their home and are comfortable just being most times…
Monday we had pajama day and breakfast for dinner, taco Tuesday with dance party, watch movies (and sing along) Wednesday, small crafts Thursday, chores and dance Friday, and weekends we would go hiking or to the lake, park, pool, etc.
Just don’t over think and down talk yourself momma, you are 100% doing awesome if you’re doubting yourself, but you still gotta compromise with you and your mind…
How old is she? Is she an only child? Mine is an only and when my son was 3, I felt the same way. He definitely preferred my husband. He is now almost 5, and is obsessed with me.
i feel like that too like i was at work for 16+ hours (worked at a prison) and when i got home she wanted nothing to do with me and would act up and my mom would say she was good all day “till i got home” i thought well damn maybe i should just go back to work then it really sucks feeling like that i know how you feel love it has since past now and she gives me all the sugars in the world
It could just be that she wants to hang out and play with her friends. Or you could evaluate what type or relationship and behavior you have with her. Most likely though it’s nothing serious.
<—- ex day care teacher, Most likely -more about the structure (knowing what to expect daily) fun, & friends !!!
Don’t be hard on yourself Mama, sing on the way home & find your on fun routine w/each other
I’m a child care provider. It doesn’t mean your child hates you. Most of my dc babies don’t want to go home. They love coming here. They cry when they have to leave their friends. At home, she might be tired from playing all day. It’s a good sign that she doesn’t want to leave daycare. You know she is being cared for and treated well.
Because pre school is fun mum she gets to play with other kids do fun stuff paint play till her little heart is full of fun… if she don’t have siblings at home could be why she’s so quite at home nobody to play with, maybe a puppy that loves to run and play could bring her out her shell at home… I wouldn’t say it’s because she doesn’t like you I would say it’s because other kids can get on kids level for play time just like a puppy can… you could try trips to the park more often at home walks around the duck pond to maybe…
What’s going on in the home may be she’s detached because something is going on in the home, leave no stone unturned try a mother and daughter weekends away just you and your daughter if you find she’s more relaxed in just your company outsidw the home then you need to assess what’s happening at home
Best of luck remember we love our children in a instant they’re conceived
The only time an adult is allowed to be childish is around children. So please bring out your inner child and play with your baby. U are probably always serious… play dolls drive cars make the environment fun for the child.
My daughter started doing this when I picked her up from the baby sitter. She’s happy at home but when she is leaving the baby sitter it was like I was dragging her to the slaughter. I cried several times about it.
Then I realized it’s bc she an only child. And it’s just her father and i.
When she goes to the babysitters there are other kids, they speak Spanish (she loves Spanish), and she gets to play alllll day.
I started acting like it was the greatest thing in the world to “see” her when i picked her up and now she returns that energy. I also let her have some free time before I make her go to bed. That way she’s not staying coming home just to go straight to bed, etc.
You are the safest place. You are a given for her. The way she is behaving means she trusts you and cares for you 100% many kids love daycare and school seemingly over parents at first but they just enjoy playing with other littles and basically take you for granted because they don’t know any better. Kids will hurt your feelings over and over but try to look at this from her view. She doesn’t have to fight for your love. She knows you love her so much and she loves you so much that she doesn’t feel the need to be over excited to see you. You ground her and she knows you’re there.
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Have nightly talk sessions before bed. Ask about her favorite things about the day, and least favorite things. What she wants more or less of… etc.
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She dosnr hate you if she is only child she prob loves going to school to play with other kids my daughter is reception and she loves school always wants to go see her friends even when she started nursery would see other kids not wanting wanting leave there parents my daughter couldn’t get away quick enough ran straight in without saying goodbye lol and now even at weekends asks if she can go to school and I found.mormings rush not enough time for her she want to be in school straight away lol, just think least she confident with being away from you I used to hate that about my eldest daughter now got a 1 year old who want even let me.leave the room without screaming and can’t leave her with anyone
It’s normal don’t take it personally. She’s having fun at school/daycare and having fun with friends of course she doesn’t want to go home. Then when she is home she’s tired and is away from the stimulating things around her and she’s comfortable to relax. It’s really normal behavior
She loves you mama, she just also loves her social time around other kids in a mostly play setting kids act out more with parents because they feel safe enough to. You are doing great and it does get better
She’s an only child. She loves playing with the other kids and the other toys that are there. Everything is different than at home. I would say that the best idea is to take some time out from your household chores, which they don’t do at daycare, everybody is free to play… and play with her. Ask her what she wants to play and play with her. It’s ok to have a few dust bunnies and let the dishes wait awhile if your little girl laughs at home for a little while too. Then, after you’ve played for a couple of hours, include her in on some of the chores. Talk to her about her day while you work. Things will go a little faster if you have someone to talk to while you’re doing your work. Then let her help with supper… setting the table, that sort of thing. She can talk to you while you do dishes. Give her some free time before bed. Let her watch a kid’s video or cartoon. Then maybe tell her a story as you tuck her in. It doesn’t have to be a long story. You don’t necessarily have to read a book. Maybe tell her something you did as a little girl. Then she should be ready to sleep. I agree with some of the other people. It might be a good idea to get her a pet. I wouldn’t get a puppy. You aren’t home enough to take care of it properly. But a cat would be a good choice. Cats sleep a good part of the day. They are glad to see you when you get home, but they don’t usually have the separation anxiety that a dog would. They are a little more independent. I had cats as a child and they were affectionate, good company.
Wowww to all these seemingly greatly intuitive & quite supportive comments !!!
Your not doing anything wrong your daughter has come to enjoy being at the daycare it should make you feel better that she likes being there… I ran a daycare back in the nineties, and the children were the same then … I explained to the parents that it’s nice that they feel safe with us… you need to ask her questions about her day I used to say it’s been a busy day here mum and mention to the kids that they need to discuss their work with mum and dad… it’s like when you come home from work am sure you discuss your day with your partner.
Some kids have a hard time transitioning. Maybe she loves you so much it overwhelms her when you come get her, and she needs to deal with her big emotions first. Sit there for a little while, join in what she’s doing, maybe have a snack for her to transition back to being with you.
Maybe it’s a lot of fun and noise and activity at day care, so she’s just decompressing at home, enjoying the quieter environment and getting herself together. She’s used up all her noisiness & extroversion at day care. Try doing quiet things together, cuddling, coloring, blowing bubbles, reading together, taking a walk, having a bath with or without toys.
My kids were independent and not particularly cuddly, so I just had to get used to that. It served them well as they grew up though.
Don’t like their behavior? Wait a few weeks! Don’t stress, kids love us in their own ways, even if it’s not how we’d prefer. I’m sure you’re doing an awesome job.
Sounds pretty normal. She is having fun at school! Wait till she is 16 then you will know she hates you.
Make time for mommy and me days. I do this every now and then with my daughter. She’s almost 6yrs old. She loves it…it can be anything and just label it Mommy and me day. That just makes it sound more special. For example, i took my daughter one day on a nice day out. She had a half day of school. I left work early and picked her up from school… took her to the Ave at Whitrmarsh. We walked in a fews stores, she picked out a book at Barnes and Nobles, she smelled every candle in Yankey candle, we had pizza and a cupcake. She said, it was the best day ever with mommy. Sometimes its just little things they love doing with their moms. I’ll label it when we go to the park. We talk all the time on the way to school. At bath time… i ask her how her day was and what she learned in school. It just makes the time with her friends seperate and fun and special with mom. She doesn’t hate you…she prob just wants to continue to play
Maybe you are boring to your child .start doing fun things with her!
She’s social and enjoys her childcare setting. Be glad she enjoys it. It could be worse….
She probably just loves being around her friends. I have one kiddo who is suuuuuuuuper social. Literally every one is his best friend. Yeah, He talks my ear off at home, but I can tell he’s the most happy at school or with his cousins. Idk how old she is but maybe try to connect with moms in the area for play dates. Or do you ever get down on her level and play with her? Honestly I think it’s just that she likes being around kids her own age.
Completely ok at first I was sad and jealous my son loved my his grandma more than me. I kept doubting myself what in the hell am I doing wrong?! Why doesn’t he wanna be with me? (HE WAS 1-3 when this happened) lol. Now he’s almost 8 and he won’t stop calling me, checking up on me, what time I’m coming home from work. Etc lol. Kids love talking to other kids and that’s completely normal. Take her out to a park for a weekend ice cream. A nice little walk.
I’m a daycare teacher and see kids all the time who cry because they don’t want to leave. It’s mainly just because they want to stay and play with the other kids
She’s an active happy outgoing child. Your doing fine. Look at it this way…she will do great in school and with people growing up. She will stand up for herself more and respect others. She could just possibly be bored or is winding down after coming home is all. Do some activities and read a book together or watch a fav movie.
Just a phase, it will pass!
Not to be THAT person I’m sure your a good mother, but you may want to take a look at your personal life who she may be around at home maybe home for her isn’t peaches and cream. Maybe there is something going on you don’t know about. Just something to think on.
My son is the opposite he’s quiet revered at school at home he’s a whole different kid.
But that’s what i prefer
Ask her about her day take an hour after coming home devote play time to her let her know home where you can let lose not just daycare.
Run around with her play a hiding game we play inside hide & go seek with my son.
Do more fun stuff with her? Play with her?
I promise Mama it’s just the other kids and different toys and activities! Your baby loves you:heart:
My daughter never stops talking, we do things together all the time, and yet on bad days, I’m mean…I don’t love her… and I don’t care are the things I get told… It’ll be okay
Play with her more, be silly. Paint, playdoh, color, dance…
You can’t just be happy that she enjoys her day care setting? After all, she spends so many day time hours there that it’s become the norm for her. Don’t make it about you.
Kids go thru stages quickly
Bukle up buttercup just wait until she’s a teenager it gets worse ugh
as a preschool teacher I can tell you—so many kids cry when their parents drop them off but don’t want to go home when it’s time! Also if she’s quiet and reserved once she gets home she is most likely exhausted from all the playing and stimulation daycares have.
It is one of maney stages get ready for the roller coaster ride
How old is she? They usually are just having fun with friends and don’t want to leave them. Maybe try having some play dates at your house as well so she sees that home is a fun place too.
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I can’t relate. My son is 5 and we are best friends lol
Some of yall people are assholes! How about trying to have some empathy for another person. She could be the opposite where she doesn’t give a damn about her kids’ feelings. Sheesh!
Man the way my daughter played me in front her friends at her assembly on Tuesday but then I’m like why am I cutting into my free time looking for a hug? Bye lil girl
She loves you. It’s just exciting and fun with her friends around. I have an in home day care and I have 1 or 2 that cry almost daily because they don’t want to go home. Don’t take it personal. Actually it should make you feel good you know they are happy there.
I, for one, get comfort out of my daughter loving daycare and not wanting to leave. That makes me feel so good about who I leave her with during the day.
Is it a chance that she could be frightened by you? Words create the " house" we live in; I think it’s a beautiful thing for young children to hear daily from parents magical sentences like " I’m so lucky and blessed to have you in my life" or like " you’re the best thing that happened and came to me in this life". Trust and respect for both ways and are major pillars to sustain love. With lots of love , advice given from heart from mommy of 4. Thumbs up for the courage to opening up.
Some days I feel like my 15yo hates me too - it’s the age! Trust me she loves you!
I Get Paid over $ 140 per hour working from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my mate makes over $ 20894 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
Does she have a playmate at home or someone giving her extra attention of play time…?
Loves being with kids. She’s a social butterfly.
Who else lives with you?