Talk about her goals with her. Go look at a few cars with her. Get her mind in the right place.
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Tell your daughter to move it to a savings so it’s “untouchable” and she can’t support them. Sam and her friends can learn the hard way when they ask for money as she tells them she’s broke because she has to put money in her savings.
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I’d be making sly remarks in front of the friend 
Sam needs to stop mooching and she needs to stop being fussy…! If she don’t like the food at ur house ain’t no more door dash lol starve little girl see how hungry you get 
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Sadly she is a teenager
And has to work things like this
The hard way (as we all did)
The more you speak out possibly the more she’ll help Sam but just keep quite and let her see it for herself. I know it hard to do but she won’t learn the hard lesson otherwise
Not on ! My daughter is 11 and always knows to take her own money with her if she is going out to dinner with friends family or going to a carnival ect I will never except someone else’s family to pay my child’s way and being 17 they should definitely know better ! Definitely separate the accounts so she can only access minimum and only what SHE needs.
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I would definitely tell the other kid myself
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She will learn eventually that trying to buy friendship doesn’t work. Once she stops, then true friends will be there and users will not.
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Tell her “friend” Sam to bring her own money when she comes over. Let’s you know whether she is a loyal friend or a mooch
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Imagine when she does get a car, those same mates will expect to be taken everywhere and not pay a cent towards petrol
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She’s still 17. You house your rules. I would be pretty offended and felt disrespected if I asked my children and their friends what they wanted for dinner or for me to get from the grocery store only for them to get DoorDash food.
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You can’t pay your way, you need to stay away!! PERIOD!!!
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I wonder if you couldn’t convince your daughter to put the bulk of her savings in a savings account and only keep out a certain amount for spending. That way she could honestly say that door dash and grub hub weren’t in her budget and Sam would have to stop being so picky and eat what was provided. When you ask what they want and go get it, Sam has no reason to say that she doesn’t like this or that. If she does, she isn’t that hungry. It could very well be that Sam’s family struggles financially and that’s sad, but it isn’t your daughter’s fault. Sam will have to learn to budget her money to do what she wants… maybe work a few more hours and save out a few dollars for herself above what her family demands. The other friends need to get jobs and earn their money instead of expecting your daughter to pay their way. Your daughter has to start hiding what she makes from them, putting the bulk of her money in savings, and keeping only what she needs to out for recreation.
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Tell your daughter to tell her friends that her mum has insisted the money be put into a bank and the mum now has the bank card as she wants to make sure the cash is saved until she gets an apartment.
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Well obviously your daughter might not see it the way you’re seeing it because she’s a kid and you’re an adult. It’s horrible now a days how kids are taking advantage of other kids especially using them for money. I’d sit your daughter down and talk to her about what you see and maybe that will open her eyes to reality. If she doesn’t want to listen then yes let her learn the hard way. It sucks. But it does sound like her friend Sam is kinda using her for money.
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Wow tell her ppl take advantage of other ppl even if they call themselves friends this girl has a Job she has her own money and if she wants to participate in extracurricular activities with ur daughter then she needs to b paying for herself not using ur daughter to pay for everything this is a big life lesson don’t get taken advantage of just because sum1 says their ur friend girl can buy her own food if she’s that picky as well
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Flat out tell Sam she will need to pay her way or borrow money from her parents if she wants to tag along. Your daughter is definitely being used. If she doesn’t like what your Making…tell her to go home and eat.
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Say it to your daughters friend instead, but I’m that kind of mum I’ll embarrass both my kid and their friend… tell your daughter in front of her mates she’s not to spend her money on my others especially if they don’t help pay for it
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You can lead a horse to a water trough but you can’t push it. 
You let them run you over. Now is the time to put your foot down
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Maybe her home life isn’t so great so instead of being a judgmental piece of shit try to figure out what’s going on by being the adult and communicating
I would tell her to put her money else where to where she has the majority of the money untouchable. That way she does not have the money to hand out on the trip. And I would talk to her about Sam and make it very clear she needs to tell Sam that she is not to use not $1 on anyone else anymore.
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Tell her that you will be charging her for rent, bills, food. Since she has money to spend on friends, surely she has money to help with the cost of living… you could secretly put it in a savings account for when she needs money.
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Tell daughters friend to pay her own way or she can’t come with and make sure she shows u she has the money on her before u leave. If the girl doesn’t like what u make for food then she can go home and eat there. This friend needs to stop thinking she is gonna get special treatment just because she doesn’t want to do something or have whats there. Entitled much because that’s how this girl sounds to me when she don’t want to pay her own way but others to do it for her or have what u make for food so let’s order food oh but I dont have money so ur paying. Yea it doesn’t work that way so I say tell this girl pay her own way or don’t go. Also maybe talk to ur daughter and see if maybe u can get her to see what ur seeing with this girl taking advantage of her kindness.
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Honestly if Sam wants to go anywhere with your daughter then before Sam comes over she needs to make sure she has her own money otherwise she isn’t welcome… she is treating your daughter as if she is a bank and will pay for her and her other friend, they are walking all over her and ordering her around like she is nothing to them. She is spending her savings that’s she has earned on people who don’t give a shit about her only her money.
I dont think youre wrong at all…dont let them girls spend all your daughters money
She proly sees it as the cool friend with money… Like she is liked more bc she can buy her friends stuff. BUT her friends see it as she has money…they dont ,or dont have to spend theirs or ask for any. Thats your daughters money tho, id definitely keep saying something to her… She worked very hard for that money and she needs to keep saving, or spend it on the things she needs or wants. Its not for anyone else to spend at all. Plus she should enjoy being able to have money while she is still young, at home, and can! Once shes out of the house and has bills, she wont be able to enjoy it the way she can now!!!
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Tell her to put her money in savings, have your daughter tell Sam she really doesn’t have any money either. Let her know it’s in savings and she can’t touch it once it’s deposited.
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Get a hold of Sam’s parents. If you don’t want to tell them about the previous issues, fine, but let THEM know Sam will need money on this trip. No reimbursement, money, in hand, to go. And/Or take your daughter’s card when you go. I assume she isn’t paying her own way in a family vacation, so let her know that you’ll cover her for the duration of the trip and if she wants something in particular, maybe spot HER then she can pay you back when you get home.
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It’s naturally a mother’s instinct to notice this kind of stuff. I would say you to your daughter and see how she feels about this, voice your concerns and tell her what you’ve noticed. If she doesn’t see it the same way you do, take a SMALL step back and just get kath from existence. Even if she doesn’t see it, she’ll remember what you pointed out
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Don’t let Sam come over period…in that way you knows for sure that your daughter won’t be spending out her money…
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If it is money my children earned, I don’t dictate what they can or cannot do with it. I may occasionally make a recommendation, but never tell them how or where to spend or not spend. If they earn their own money, they’ve earned the right to do as they want with it. Eventually, my kids got tired of spending all their money on their broke friends and quit doing it without me having to get involved or causing hard feelings between them or their friends. They need to learn to navigate social situations and money management without me helicoptering over them.
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Don’t allow her to come to kings island and don’t allow any take out food to be ordered at you house
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Hate to tell you but when the money is gone they will be too !!!
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They are obviously not daughter’s friends if they are asking her to buy things… I don’t get why Sam works but has to give her dad the money? Does Sam spend money like crazy?! Theirs a reason for it… tell Sam to bring her own damn money if she wants to tag along…
oh, definitely shut up shop! My kids earned their money from when they were 11. When they became adults (18) here they were expected to pay board, $110 a week if on the Dole), these other girls are sponging off her and you let it happen. Take her out to get clothes or some trusted friends to go with her and you. sounds like once the money dries up, the so called friends will beat a hasty retreat.
I find with this age group having a deep discussion about her motives, her friends, including your concerns (think the Socratic method adapted to her) works best. By helping her see her own motivations along with a discussion about the practical reality of her current money situation and how you feel will teach her more then just telling her she can’t do it or being negative about her friend. She’s almost an adult and very soon you aren’t always going to be there to guide her in every situation. What she thinks and feels about the situation matters, especially in regard to her friend. Also, I’d have her be the one to set the boundaries with the friend, and if anything comes up, like a conflict, you can be there to guide her through what healthy conflict and boundary setting looks like. We all need to learn these kinds of things at some point, and better at her age then later. Good Luck Mama!
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I agree that having the conversation with your daughter and establishing what healthy boundaries with friends looks like is important. It is also important to not isolate out her friends but to gently show her your concerns and talk to her like an adult. At 17 my daughter had her own job and own money and she also saved but I let her do what she wanted with it. She also knows what it is like to struggle so she knows that there are boundaries but she does have a big heart and will do things for ppl she cares about. I think making sure she knows her friend needs money for the trip is important and reestablishing that before and the day of is essential. However if the friend runs out of money she may just need to be bored. Maybe establishing that your daughter bring a set ammt of money with her to avoid overspending and just accounting for her money in a responsible way will help establish her own boundaries with her money than if she had unlimited access also. I think it is hard for us as moms to sit back and watch situations unfold but sometimes we have to let our kids deal with the consequences of their actions as well, even if that means letting them make mistakes.
Have a conversation with her about friends. How some friends are friends with you because they can get things from you and that some are actually friends.
Tell your daughter to pretend that she is grounded for a could of weeks and that she can’t use her card and you are only giving her a little bit of money as an allowance. See how her ‘friend reacts’. If the friend stops hanging out with her for those 2-3 weeks that she’s ‘grounded’ or if her friend suddenly has money and likes the food in the house.
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See if your daughter will put her $$ in an account that is safer and you are on the account, she can only get $ if you allow it
So true a friend will help pay her own way
Ask your daughter if they’re gonna pay her bills when she gets her own car and place to live? If the answer is no, then stop paying their way now. One pays bills and plays with her friends money. I’d be livid.
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Allowance. She only gets to spend X amount each week. Sadly, this happens alot, but you want your sweet girl to learn to say no and that only happens truly when she musters the strength to do it herself. She is young. Give her boundaries and love so it is safe for her to tell those freeloaders to back off.
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Start charging her a tiny amount for bills and even though you don’t need it put it away for her for when she really dose ,wedding ,collage ect
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If she earned the money, she should be able to spend it on what she wants. But I would talk to her about her friends taking advantage of her. When she orders food, are you positive she is not receiving cash from her friends and putting the charge on her card?
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She does need to cut her off as far as giving her money and paying her way. It is her money, but when food is being provided at your home, she should be thankful for what you have.
If am going on a trip and I allow my son to bring a friend, I do always pay the friends way as well. If they want extras while being there, then they purchase that with their own money.
It’s her money she can do what she wishes with it. Unless your daughter has some kind of developmental issue let her be. As for the friend…I was the friend. My best friend used to pay for me all the time this or that because I didn’t have any money and most went to household bills and food that I did make. I used to tell her I can’t all the time and she would beg me to come out. You are only seeing from an outsiders perspective not those that are in that friendship. Leave them be! By the way 25 + years later and we still friends.
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Ask your daughter set up questions
She will realize she doesn’t like the answer’s
Also I for her don’t make enemies just keep people at a distance learn your place but end friendly
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She wouldn’t be allowed at my house period or on any family trips.
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Also don’t you feel bad a child has to give her dad all her hard earned money
Cut Sam some slack. You said she gives the most of her check to her Dad.
It may be that things are tight at her house and they need her money to survive. Sounds like your daughter has a good head on her shoulders and she will reach her limit one day. Tell her your concerns and her decision may come sooner. But it is her money and she can do with it whatever she wishes.
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Sit down and have a talk to your daughter and about warning signs of financial abuse (this includes from friends).
She worked hard for that money her friend is showing lack of respect for her.
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My 21 year old is develemental and he has his own money coming in. But he has so called friends that do that to him. He dosent mind but by the time he’s outta money he wishes he would have saved a bit of money.
If Sam gives most of her paycheck to her dad then she should stay at home and stop going on trips with u guys till she gets a better paying job,simple don’t allow anyone to take advantage of ur daughter and use her like that coz It means they will just suck her dry and drop her
I would talk to both girls and set things straight, if your daughter has an issue with it and likes to pay for her friends then she can pay for her phone bill and what ever you can come up with. Obviously save it for her but she has got to learn not to be a doormat and have to pay to have friends. All this shows is that some guy could come along and easily manipulate her. And the sooner she realizes this the better.
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I would definitely make sure my daughter knows she is not a bank. It’s one thing if they all paid for one another back and forth but it’s certainly another to expect your daughter to pay the same friends way every time. So yeah, tell your daughter to put her foot down and if the friends get mad then they’re not true friends.
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Been there done that but with like $20,000 was a settlement she got an apt and her friends knew she had that money they were supposed to pay bills help with furnishings nothing from them. She has a good heart iness than 6 monthes all money was gone and they left her high amd dry with an evection and a $1000 electric bill we tried to tell her but she wouldn’t listen.
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She’s going to have to learn to say no on her own. You can’t always be there to make decisions for her. Or start asking for repayment. 
Look it’s okay to shout friends or one friend shouts one week then the other friend does the next. But when Ur daughter is constantly buying and know one else is taking turns or putting their hand up to chip in enough is enough is sounds like she knows Ur daughter has money and would rather use hers and is abusing it to. Tell her no more shouting or buying them things.
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I was the child that never had money. My friends and friends parents who were always there for me, I didn’t ask for anything, those people were so important to me and were the only people who ever treated me and treated me like family. I get it, but those friends that can afford things when you are young, are so important in that’s phase of life.
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My sister was in the same boat as your daughter! And when she quit paying for everything those “sams” disappeared and haven’t spoken to her in years
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Your daughter is obviously a very kind and caring girl,but kindness is all too often mistaken as weakness explain although is lovely she is this way with her friends money doesn’t grow on trees and she works hard for hers,maybe suggest she has a limit for her days out enough to enjoy herself without over spending an you will hold some of her money back so she is not out of pocket in future.You are not wrong as her Mum to look out for her interests 
Xxxx
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My child had friends like that and then when the money stopped they stopped coming over as much
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Don’t allow them to come over and speak your mind. Yolo. Ppl are users, and our kids don’t know any better. That’s why we exist. 
trust your gut.
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From the sounds of it your daughters had a good head on her shoulders working hard and saving her freind it’s hard cause she does work so it’d not like she’s not working and living off your freind, I always had more money then my freinds and didn’t mind lending them money if needed but your daughter is 21 Can’t wrap her up in cotton wool she kind of has to learn the hard way that’s how we grow and learn if you protect her from everything she’s never going to learn any lessons
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Explain to your kid money oriented relationships exist. And to point out all of these things, that kindness gets preyed on too often. It sucks, people have done it to me where they’ll take advantage of kindness just for a place to live. Hopefully she’ll see through her friend, but soon as that money stops that friend will conveniently not come back around.
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My advise, sit your daughter down and explain to her. Explain things like, itsa tough life out there, and tell her how proud you are that she has saved up so much, and that she should keep on saving for herself and not ‘waste’ money. She should draw up a budget for herself, and with her spendings she should spoil only herself cos she deserves it. Also explain of how friends these days use and abuse so she needs to be careful and not go wild on spending on them. When they come over, they eat wat is at home or starve. And after this of she doesnt change, then sadly, she has to learn the lesson the hardway
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Many kids are users like that. Don’t let that girl go with y’all on the trip. That would take care of that. Don’t let your daughter order any more door dash. Tell all the girls yourself, that they have to brings their own money or they don’t get. When your daughters money is gone those users will be no where to be found.
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Or they bring their own food/snacks, does she have to provide at their places when visiting them? I hope not, Stick to your guns mama, kid sounds like she’s learning for herself great backup though.
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Not her friends. Just not her friends.
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yeah sounds like they just want free meals from door dash
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If you daughter has a card that you continually load up to look after HER, of course the friends will lean on her knowing that Mum and Dad won’t let her go without or get stranded etc. Does anyone know Sam’s guardian/ parents to have a private word without the girls listening/ overhearing to find out what the go is there? You and your daughter shouldn’t be subsidizing the excursions, takeaway constantly, her friend are teenagers not age 10!!
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Call that girls parents and tell them she can’t come if she doesn’t bring money. Tell Sam you need to talk to her parents before going to Kings Island.
Your daughter sounds amazing a good girl works for her money, is kind and pays for her friends, you can only bring things to her attention and let her make the choice to see friends for how they are (users) or keep paying for everything and be broke. She sounds smart she’ll figure it out. True friends don’t use you and she’ll start to realize that,
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Tell her to see what happens when she quits spending money on them. See if they offer to pay or if they stay true friends.
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Tell your daughter to do an experiment. Tell her friends that she’s broke and see who sticks around! Give it 2 weeks .she will see she is being used.
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I see it from the other side. I worked but wasn’t allowed to have my paychecks. So I never had money either. But I was blessed to have friends who always offered to pay for me so I could go do things with them. I never demanded, they literally always offered. Maybe it seems this girl is demanding bc you’re being protective of your own daughter….but maybe your daughter is always offering bc she wants to hang out with her friend. You won’t know what’s really going on until you sit down and talk to your daughter. Don’t yell at her and accuse her or her friend of anything, just tell her calmly what you think you see going on and ask what’s up.
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Call Sam’s parents. As a parent, I would appreciate that. Maybe Sam’s parents don’t realize this is going on. I’m sure they will understand and sent her with some money for your trip. Remember, Sam is a child as well and there is a lesson for her to learn in all of this too.
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talk to the parents? duh
Tell her friends parents
Yea I would be speaking up to them all I wouldn’t hide to talk to parents or kids I would do it in front of all the girls! Tell it like it is that your daughter is not no bank…
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I like the idea of having her play broke for a couple weeks. People use people everyday. It would be a decent lesson for a 17 year old. My other thought would be that Sam’s money may be helping with bills at home. Right now living isn’t cheap and is getting worse. Idk the girls household situation but it could be a possibility. I wouldn’t shun the girl tho unless you actually find out she is just using your daughter. Maybe use the situation as a budgeting lesson for your daughter. It’s her money yes and she can spend it how she likes but maybe have her keep track of her spending on the girls compared to spending on her own and actually show her the difference and how easy it is to blow through money. The hardest part of parenting so far for me was seeing my kids hurt and watching them have to learn those sucky life lessons the hard way but we can’t save them from everything and sometimes we have to sit back. Either choice you make I wish you luck tho
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Nah they should give her the money for it if she was family I would agree with dad but she’s not so pay up or lose out simples
Talk to her-just a conversation
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Some lessons in life have to be learned first hand. Bless your daughter’s big beautiful heart.
If this wasn’t called mamas uncut I would of thought my husband posted this 
my 18 year old is - $700 in door dash and Lyft rides from her “friends”. And can careless!
I was your daughter. I had a giving spirit. It left me with barely anything & very taken advantage of. I finally learned to stop a couple years ago when I gave to 2, seperate families &, it turned violent. No lie. Now I wouldn’t give a quarter to someone starving. My mom tried telling me when I was a teen. I wouldn’t listen. Please do your daughter a favor & charge her rent, utilities, transportation fees etc. Encourage her to also save. Take the majority of her pay check so she can’t spend it on her “friends”. Then save it for her. Don’t give her the lump some. She’ll waste it on her friends. When you have enough for a down payment on a house tell her you’ve saved her money & will pay her down payment. Let her struggle a few years before that. Hopefully she’ll appreciate that you prevented her from giving her money away.
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Sam does not have shit going on for her at home. I would gently sit her down and talk to her. You are not her bank, but you could set boundaries and help her learn. Or just throw her and her issues away like something you can’t be bothered with.
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I would put my foot down, yes she is 17 but she still lives under your roof! You supply her needs and most of her wants so she is not yet an adult!
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You go to her parents and tell them point blank.
My daughter only gets so much & if Sam don’t have money on the trip she can’t go. You’re daughter shouldn’t be someone sugar friend if her dad is taking that much from her then that’s not ok either
If you force her then you aren’t teaching her anything. When she moves out she’s just going to go do what she was doing before. Helicopter parenting in my opinion doesn’t teach kids the skills they need in the real world. I also don’t agree with taking away a 17 year Olds money that they earned thats ridiculous af
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You have to talk to her, be blunt if you need to and like someone else said, charge her rent. Take that money and put it into a savings account for her. If she has plans to go to college those friendships from high school will go away.
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Maybe instead of telling your daughter she can’t spend her money on this girl, Maybe just sit down & really talk to her, not tell her what to do, but talk to her & listen to her, Explain to her why you feel this way. With no judgement
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Talk to her. I was her at that age too. I worked my ass off only for my “friends” to take advantage of me too. It pissed my mom off, but try to convince her to act broke for a few weeks. Then see how much her friends still come around
Talk to your daughter not her friends. Explain to her your perspective and set rules and boundaries with her. She will continue to get taken advantage of if she doesn’t learn to care for herself and her family more then for her friends.
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