I feel like my fiance doesn't want me to look pretty

You are facing problems controlling factors

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He maybe saying/acting these this way, because He may be feeling insecure due to the love that you’re now showing the baby?? Alot of changes for you both… I have seen men act out. Has he always been this way or is this new behavior???. It’s not OK for him to tell you what to do… But he is expressing himself, though is he not doing it nicely!!! And yes is coming across as controlling behavior. But I haven’t seen anybody mention the fact that you guys did have a baby and he has feelings also…
Just a thought :woman_shrugging: hugs

Do what you want. It’s called self esteem cause it comes from self. Don’t let anyone dictate what you already know you should do for yourself.

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The fact that he is accusing you of wanting to cheat on him says something loudly. I have found the person doing the accusing is the one cheating. Also cut your hair do your make up. You teach people how to treat you. If you accept this treatment now it will continue and get worse. Wishing you luck.

Its your hair your choice if he don’t like it hes going to survive
My husband hates tattoo and I love it and my answer for him was my body my choice

Woah he’s crazy insecure. Bye :wave:

He is insecure and afraid that he will loose you, he is trying to control you. You do you and if he loves you, it should not matter what you do.

Besides being controlling and overbearing about your appearance, he’s a good guy?

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My hubs likes my natural hair color, i don’t. I wanted my hair purple for so long so during lock down I did my hair purple. He isn’t a fan but he knows its not up to him. He doesn’t like when i do a lot of make up, but he doesn’t care if i do bc he knows i do it to feel beautiful for myself, i also don’t wear make up very often as it is so when i do have an event i tend to be a bit nicer with it.
Do what makes you happy, he either goes with it or he’s a bitch.

it’s your body you can do as you please why ask him for …esspecially when he sounds super insecure

Stop saying “Besides these 2 things, he’s a good guy.”. Wrong! Those 2 things are what keeps him from being a good guy. He’s a narcissistic control freak. Red flags all over this. Get out now! He’s trash and you’re being abused :rage:

Cut your hair ! And do your make up momma! Your fiancé sounds really insecure! for no reason!

He wants to control you that is what he is doing as long as you let him put your foot down or you will never be able to do anything you want

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If he’s saying those things, he ISNT good enough though

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Do what you want… As long as there is no disrespect.

Do your make up / maybe have you split ends up and your hair colored :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: hair cuts never end well after baby :pleading_face:

Do it for you. It’s a shame some little boys have to make women feel awful about themselves. If he doesn’t like it then hes probably not the one anyway and you could do better.

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It sounds like he’s super insecure.

That in itself isn’t a deal breaking issue, it can be resolved through communication. Whether or not he is willing or capable to actually communicate effectively enough to resolve this is however a big indicator of things to come.

If you told him how you feel, exactly how you have in this post - how would react?

How comfortable are you voicing these things?

How willing to empathize with you is he?

The answers to those questions should make
You really take a good honest and clear look at him as a partner and help You decide whether your relationship is sustainable.

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Cut your hair! Do your make up! Kick the guy to the curb! Never allow anybody to tell you what you can or can’t do to yourself. If you continue with him, the controlling will only get worse. Wishing the best of luck!

I would say this man has control issues

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He sounds controlling. My husband likes my hair long not that he would give me a hard time if I wanted to cut it. So for just that I would say maybe it’s just something he prefers. But the fact that he is giving you a hard time about that and doing make and accusing you of wanting to cheat because of it are red flags.

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Then change it 🤷 that simple.

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Oh darling, do your makeup, cut your hair. For you. Because every woman deserves to look and feel sexy and beautiful.

Control freak… he should support you in what you want to do

Do what you want, don’t let him control what you do, it is a bad habit to start.

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So he’s against self-care? That’s what I’m understanding. If he can do whatever he wants, why can’t you? You need self-care, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Girl, go get your hair done, nails, feet etc. When you realize you don’t need permission to take care of yourself, you’ll realize you deserve better.

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Take care of yourself. Do what makes you feel better about yourself.

Do what you want. He can get over it.

He’s insecure but it’s also a red flag for a controlling relationship. Stand up for yourself and let him know how you feel but his insecurities aren’t your problem and you didn’t create them. I’d offer therapy together and separately if he’s willing but I’d also be aware of the relationship taking a more controlling turn. I know people think it’s nothing but I’ve seen it and this is absolutely how it starts.

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He needs to get over himself. Next time is ass wants to do something, flip the script on him!

Is your baby a little girl? What would you tell her if she came to you one day saying her S/O wouldn’t let her wear makeup or cut her hair? Be careful with this guy, do not marry him until you see change.

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First of all, tell him it makes you feel good about yourself to wear makeup and he has no control over it. Second, I understand the hair thing. Alot of guy’s don’t like a women to cut their hair because long hair is absolutely beautiful, but ultimately it’s your hair and your choice weather he likes it or not.

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Girl who cares what that man says or thinks. If you want to do something to make you feel good go ahead and do it! Wearing makeup or cutting your hair does not warrant him to accuse you of anything.

This is controlling an abusive behavior. You are grown and an adult, you do not need another Person telling you how to wear your hair , or if you wear make up or not or how to run your life!
Do what you want, tell him to grow up, get over it And if he can’t deal with it that’s his problem.
You accuse me of cheating again you’d better have proof or you’d be better be ready to pack your shit, do not Accuse or manipulate me because of your own insecurities.

Nip that in the bud right now! Don’t give this behavior room to grow. Do your makeup and cut your hair.

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Ha! Hell naw…I would shave my head and beat my face FULL GLAM while he was at work. :laughing:

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Do it anyways. My ex husband was this way (ex for many reasons, this is one of them). My fiance supports me in whatever I want to do and I’m so much happier now.

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Sounds abusive. I’d leave

Not the same , but my dad only follows ONE out of many of our cultures traditions and that’s the hair. I got caramel highlights once and he didn’t talk to me for a few months. At 23 I dyed my hair blonde cause I was sick of people asking me if I was babysitting my own kid and he didn’t talk to me for a year . He was super abusive to my step mom always but even more so when she cut her hair. Your person sounds super insecure and if it’s what you want , then so be it. It’s for you not anyone else . I always feel when I look good I feel good and confident

That’s super controlling of him.

Girl, it your hair , your face your body do what u want…he will realize that it just a change for you to feel better for you…

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That’s abuse and I would leave it.

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He’s got some issues…

Good Guys dont get jealous because you want to.look nice. I was stuck in the same situation, nail polish meant I planned on cheat even thoigh we where going on a date that night. Couldnt wear perfume, put on lipstick. He even wanted my hair short. I finally asked him if he was so die hard set on making me look like a boy, why didnt he just date one. I lost 6 years to Him, that I wont get a refund on. Jealousy sucks and doesnt usually get better, it gets worse. By the way, its your hair, cut it like you want it. Life is too short to give up your ideas all because of an opinion.

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He us acting like your daddy not your better half. If he really cared he would want you to look and feel good about yourself

Do what you want!!! It’s your hair, your face. Usually when men are controlling, they are cheating themselves

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Maybe since you have never done your make up since you have been with him its out of the ordinary so something must be up. Guys are dumb like that. Take care of yourself, do what makes you happy and if that is a deal breaker then let him go. You want to feel good then feel good. :heart:

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Your hair, your face, your decision not his. You are not his property.

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Controlling behaviour, starts with little things. Red flags. Leave.

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Girl run. This is just the beginning of control. Look up “narcissist”. It’s hard to see when you are in the relationship, but run.

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Cut your hair, and do your makeup. When he has something to say you need to tell him his insecurities are not your responsibility, only your mental health and self-love are. He doesn’t get to control how you take care of yourself because he’s afraid he would lose you.

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I dont like my boyfriends long beard. Guess what its still there 9 years later.

Hes allowed to have his own personal opinions. (Like your hair longer etc) but those opinions dont outweigh yours when it comes to your own body.

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Love, please dont call him a good man when you cannot even style yourself without getting accused of stuff.

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Cut your hair, put on make-up and tell him that if he really believes it’s for you to cheat, he can leave. :woman_shrugging:
Y’all accept way too much bs.

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Get it cut and wear the make up… F*** him. He sounds controlling and gross

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He isn’t a good guy.

My ex/kids dad was like that!!! He would literally talk shit to me while I was doing my make up until I’d cry.Then he’d make fun of me for crying. LEAAAAAVE HIM!!! The man I’m with now hypes me up when I’m doing my make up :joy::joy: he enjoys watching me be creative and expressing myself. And YOU deserve that. You deserve to feel beautiful and to be told that you are. Dump his assssssss.

Maybe he is feeling inadequate or insecure as partner and provider. Maybe he just loves the way you glow as a new mom. Still no reason to not do what you want. Maybe open lines of communication in relationship could help. If he is the good guy you say he is you should be able to talk about this

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It’s called a red flag🚩 a year and a half is not a long time together, he’s just starting to show that side of himself. It’s controlling abusive behaviour

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…cut your hair and do your make-up, no conversation necessary

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He’s a good guy other than telling you not to do what you want with your own body…

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You sure he didn’t cheat when you we’re pregnant? You do you we lose ourselves enough just being mum. You’re allowed to feel yourself and change it isn’t up to him.

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I been with my dude abt 4 years. My hair is down to my ass. I don’t want to cut it, but he’s expressed support because he knows some days it’s hard to manage. I’ve also expressed an interest in makeup. I never done it. We have a daughter, and mostly I’d like to teach her. So I have to learn. He’s nothing but supportive about it. Says we can buy whatever I need and allat (obvs if it’s fits in budget)
Anyways that’s a good guy. There’s some underlying insecurities here or something. And hunny we can all tell you that these things only get worse with time. You need to set the line now. Asap. And he needs to choose what he wants with us future

Red flags all over this post. First off, I’m sorry that you have to deal with that. Also he isn’t going change once your married. My advice is to stay engaged as long as you can and maybe try to get things together so you can leave him. It’s your choice to what you do but just know he isn’t going to change.

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He sounds like someone who has a hard time with change. No, this is not a reason to leave your husband, but this is a reason to grow some independence and show him it will all be okay. If you want to make a change, go for it! He will learn in the wide spectrum of things, nothing really has changed.

Abusive. Run while you can.

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You don’t need ANYONE else’s permission to do anything to YOURSELF.
That is controlling, toxic behavior. Get yourself out of this situation before it becomes worse.

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Controlling behavior. Not ok. You don’t need his approval to cut your hair or wear makeup. He either accepts it, or he doesn’t.

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It’s your body. He’s sounds very controlling. Your the one who has to take care of your hair. Do not allow him to dominate you. Do what you feel like. I’m sure if you ask your parents,they would agree. He needs help. Stand your ground. Your treated the way you allow

RED FLAGS.
Controlling and possessive behavior. Address it now, or straight up run.!

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He’s probably cheating on you.

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My ex and I were complete opposites. He controlled EVERYTHING from what I wore to what I listened to. I wasnt aloud to cut or dye my hair passed a certain length. My music is heavy and he has bad ears so that’s a no. Cat eye eyeliner? No bare face only. I wouldnt be aloud to leave the house unless approved by him. He would accuse me, say if I did those things it meant i wanted others attention…how absurd…turns out the POS cheated on me the whole 7yrs even gave that dou he 3kids…i left 4yrs ago and found a man that loves me for ME and let’s me do what I want🤙

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Fuck what hi thinks. He sounds like an insecure jerk.

This sounds like a controlling person do what makes you feel good. He should be there to support you

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He’s cheating on you.

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When my sister cuts her hair her dude doesnt speak to her for weeks standard behaviour . FYI he’s a textbook narcissist!

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That’s called being possessive…I hate to say this, but I have to because I’ve been there… It’s only the beginning!

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Sounds like he’s used to having say in your personal choices (hair, makeup, clothing etc) I was there once, it didn’t get better. DO YOU… be prepared for shit to hit the fan. Be careful

If not hair or makeup, he will start controlling something else.

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You’re an adult, you don’t need to ask for his permission

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Has he cheated on you? Sounds paranoid and controlling! You do what you want to do not what he wants

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DO IT!!! Don’t live live with any regrets!!!

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I’d tell him to suck it and leave. If he’s that controlling it will only get worse. You can’t make the decisions about what to do with your own body. It’s your body your hair not his do what you want.

That’s not the signs of a “good guy” . You don’t need his opinion to cut your hair or his permission to wear make up. Go get your hair cut and put on make up is thats what you want to do to feel pretty. Maybe he has some guilt behind his accusations

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Girl go ahead and cut your hair and do your makeup don’t be letting him make you feel guilty about that. It’s such a simple thing that you want to do. It’s not the end of the world. Also if he is trying to control that simple shit you want to do now, imagine when you get married. He is trying to guilt trip you into not doing the things you want. Down the road it will be " I don’t like your friend and I don’t want you hanging out with her" until he pushes people away from you or keeps you from doing all of the things you like and you start to lose yourself in the process… If I were you I’d keep my eyes wide open for the red flags. I’m sorry he is making you feel this way. But honestly. JUST DO IT.

Accusations are sometimes confessions.

I heard the whole "why do you wanna look good? So you can cheat? Way too many times and it’s often because men cheat and worry you’ll do the same.

Don’t allow anyone to tell you what to do, you do what makes YOU comfortable and happy.

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Someone who loves you will always be supportive. Tell him with respect that this is what you feel you need to do for YOURSELF, if he can’t handle that then you need to decide if you are willing to put yourself 2nd to this man your whole life. Goodluck with your choice, it might be a life changing one.

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Oh hail no, do what makes you happy girlf.

No actually I have super long hair too that I want to cut and everyone says no not just my husband so I don’t think everyone is controlling me. Maybe he just loves your long hair.

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If you don’t do things for you babe, you will lose yourself. Do it. See what happens. If he blows it up, I’d get away from him. Sounds like he has some skeletons in his closet. If cutting your hair (which I’m sure is easier to manage) will help you and make you happy, do it, make up, do it. :blush: hair grows back and make up can be washed off.

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I bet your beautiful

But fuck what he say I’d go do it anyways

Sounds like he’s the one cheating. I’ve learned over the years the accuser is the one doing it Bc they feel quilt and wanna make themselves better by convincing themselves you’re cheating also.

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He’s probably the one cheating honestly!
My baby dad cheated 3 times and when I’d do my hair or makeup he would always say “who you trying to look good for?” He always thought I was going to cheat. The one that is guilty is usually the accuser/insecure one

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Sounds like he’s already cheated but turning the tables… he sounds like he coukd become a narcissist so be one step ahead

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He clearly has issues …. Do what’s right for you

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Red flags for him to be talking to you like that. He may feel your hair is beautiful but put on some makeup once in a while.

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Your body. Your choice. Period.

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It’s hair. It grows back. Do what you want, he can like it or he can stfu.

Sounds like he has his own issues to work out. Do what makes you feel good mama. Forget
Him.

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Do what makes you feel good