Same with my husband , his family are GODS…
Live life without him. Go on trips without him. go have adventures without him. He will either feel left out and start coming along OR he’ll love it, you’ll love it and everyone wins. A parent that doesn’t want to be there is worse than no parent.
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Sit down and have a serious discussion with him. Does he discipline the kids when they are acting up or does he just get mad and let you deal with it? Ask him what are some things he’d be willing to do with the kids but be clear that strict boundaries need to be set before venturing out. Idk how old your kids are so you may have to use the simplist clearest words possible. My 4yo, I usually do not like taking anywhere because he can get triggered by the slightest thing (usually not getting his way) but if I lay down the rules before we even leave the house ( were going to sit in our seats, we are going to stay buckled, when we get to wherever we are going to hold mommy’s hand and we are not going to ask for anything, ect. Or we will turn around and go home) he’s pretty good, we are gradually working towards longer outings. Started at a quick trip to the store a few blocks away and have just gradually increased time. I know it sounds tedious but it actually works. Yes it sucks when you have to drop everything and actually stick to what you say (going home if they can’t follow directions/rules) but its worth it.
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I chose to live amd enjoy family outings without him. Anything from going to the beach, bowling, mini golf, amusement park and even weekend getaways… The kids and I actually had waaaayyyyy more fun that way. In fact it got to the point, after a couple years of that, we were bummed if he wanted to go with us.
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Next time he wants to do something don’t go. And then don’t invite him to do stuff no more.
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Sorry to say this common
Lol, learn the game. Let him think everything is his idea.
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Sorry I’m going to be Blunt : your husband is an Asshole And Needs TO Grow Up !! And he probably never will ,he probably says yes when his family asks you all to do something because there will be other people to keep any eye on the kids and help you out. He doesn’t want to be a parent. Sorry so blunt I was married to one of those Hence the word Married, Not Anymore
Just keep going and making memories with your babies! You will never regret a breakdown or tantrum that happens because they are tired. You won’t remember the tantrum but they will remember the things you did!!! Always invite the SO but never stop living because he doesn’t want to.
Next time he says something about going out use his same excuses. And straight up tell him no. 
Do things with the kids and ask him to come if he says no then say you’re disappointing the kids and go without him. What a selfish man. Good luck 
I’ve given up on my husband and him doing anything with the family. We just live our own life he lives his
No you need to put your foot down babe or it won’t get any better it will get worse! My husband did this with his mom all the time and it got to the point she would just call and say this is what we’re doing be here at this time or this place. I finally had enough at the restaurant we were at told him we were leaving and he said we can’t she’ll be upset! It was only doing stuff she wanted him to nothing nothing the kids or I ever wanted.i told him he could get his shit together and be a family man with us or he could be a mommas boy and take his ass to her house! Big change after that!
Give an idea but let him think it was all his
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I wouldn’t ask or tell him shit. Get my kids ready and walk out the door. And don’t cook shit either. Get y’all food on the go. The hell he mean they don’t listen. They yo kids too bruh!!!
Id go without him… dont take the experiences from your children because he doesnt want to participate. the kids will know who was there for them. Its his loss if he doesnt want to experience that with his kids
You need to make him think the outing was his idea
He should help make the kids listen so it won’t b so much on you
Stop inviting him, and send him and kids without you for those “family” invites
Go without him…he will miss out…
I’m kinda in the same boat people what do we do?? Drives me nuts
Awh give him a big hankie to dry his eyes with!!
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Take the kids and go bowling without him !!