I feel like my marriage is ending after seven years. My husband doesn’t listen to me much or talk about stuff. (I might talk about my tedious shop job, but it’s all I’ve got to talk about). He sometimes walks away mid-sentence or only half listens. I took up running and virtual fitness challenges and sports tips to try and make myself more interesting to him. He says I talk at him but not with him but can’t explain what that means. But isn’t that what happens with no communication from him? Lol, He has chronic and a heavy job, so I understand it can be hard, especially with our 2 year old at night. I always support him. I have no family and friends around so I can’t really talk to anyone. This is not what I expected from a marriage, I think about the time we’ve been together and I have adapted to his life and left everything behind. How can I talk to him without him getting angry or brushing it off?
Honestly I think couples therapy is great, if he will agree to go. And if he won’t, individual therapy would definitely help. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to try and figure out why. Feel free to PM, i know it’s hard with little ones to have time to make friends, in the same boat 
I say my boyfriend talks “at” me too. For me it means… He talks (& talks some more) about everything in his day, without letting me get a word in edgewise. When it’s my turn to speak he will cut me off or half-ass listen. When someone constantly talks “at you” it’s very hard to keep up a true conversation. The other person ends up feeling unimportant, frustrated & alone.
So many people are struggling right now, and (I hope) neither of you really wants to call it quits. Is counseling an option? If not, or in the meantime, maybe you can set a certain time aside to each talk about your day/household/parenting…then make time to discuss anything NOT related to work/kid/responsibilities? I made pie charts to show what each person did all day/week. It helped everyone (me, ex, adult son) defend their “me” time and stay accountable. There are only so many hours in each day (especially with a toddler!). You can build communication time into those charts so you both get heard. Divorce sucks. If you are afraid or worried about that possibility, share that with him. Appreciate his attempts to make progress but insist that he participates fully instead of walking away. Together but unhappy isn’t great for a child, and marriage is a commitment to keep trying, even when things are tough. He needs to understand the possible consequences of brushing you off.
Be open and honest with him. Let him know how you feel, and what you need. Listen when he does the same. Listen…don’t get defensive. Open communication both ways.
Try to figure out what his love languages are. Google it! Once you know, it will make a huge difference! Tell him that y’all are going to take a fun quiz together! That’s what I did! Lol My husband and I have been together for 18 years with completely opposite love languages. His are words of affirmation and physical touch. Mine are acts of service and quality time. With him, I have to remember to tell him stuff…like how proud I am of him, that’s he’s a good father, etc. bc that’s how he feels loved. He’s also learned mine. He knows that I like just spending time with him, and him doing things for me like picking me up my favorite snack when he’s at the store…that’s how I feel loved. Maybe you are trying to “love” him in the way you would feel love, but that’s not how he feels love. I hope that makes sense!!
Your talking to him but not with him. That means its a topic only you have knowledge of. Do you ask about his day or talk about stuff that interests both of you? If you only talk about stuff that’s repetitive like your job everyday thats probably the same thing over and over hes probably already knowing how your day went. No offense, but I worked a shop job and it’s the same thing day in and day out with the occasional crazy customer. But other then that try and see about what’s going on in his head and just ask him about his day and maybe find something that both interests you (like a TV show, or movie series, a book, food etc)
Why are you trying to make yourself more interesting to him? Why are you trying so hard? It sounds like he has a really hard day and just wants some peace and you’re going on about loads of stuff he doesn’t care about. My instincts are saying to say less. Make time to chat when you’re both less tired. Spending time together without saying anything is precious too.
There’s a book called: Love and Respect. It’s honestly amazing and can help y’all out. It is kinda based off of religion BUT my husband is atheist and found the book helpful. Ps. Next time just try and sitting down with him IN SILENCE…just be there. Also when trying to talk to him about y’alls issues…try and NOT use words like YOU or I. The words WE and US hold both of you accountable and it doesn’t put blame on either party.
Honestly, this is super normal at the stage of marriage you’ve made it to. This is what makes or breaks couples. When you introduce children to a marriage, all down time ends. He goes to work, he comes home, there’s more work to do there. And I am sure you feel similarly. The work never ends.
Try taking the love languages quiz together. If that alone doesn’t do it, suggest some counseling sessions. Instead of talking about things you have going on or are interested in, start a conversation about something you know he’s interested in, or suggest after the babe is in bed that the two of you do something together that he enjoys. If he feels like you’re making an effort to connect with him rwther than trying to force him to connect with you, it’a been my experience that he’ll respond in kind and make an effort in return. My husband and I have been together for 13 years, and we’ve been married for 10 of those years. When we hit our rough patch, I felt the same way you do, and it made me feel like the world was ending. We got through it, and things have honestly never been so good as they are now. In trying to connect with him, I showed an interest in anime, which he really enjoys. He picked a couple for me to try watching that he thought would fit with my tastes. Turns out, I actually really enjoyed them. In fact, now that I’m expecting our third child, we even chose a name from one of those animes as our girl option. During quarantine last year, I stayed up late with him every night to play Xbox after thr kids were in bed. It was part 3 of the first video game we ever played together, way back when we were 18. I’ve begun making sure that I make his lunch for work every day, and make sure he has a fresh cup of coffee to take with him. He told me the other day out of nowhere how much he appreciates that gesture.
I honestly was looking at all the opportunities that he missed to connect with me, and forgot that he needs the same attention from me, too. Realizing that was a game changer, in so many ways.
Good luck to you. 
If counseling isnt an option or doesn’t work… I suggest you back off and focus on YOU! I’m just saying, if he isn’t 100% committed to making it better as you are- then baby, focus on you. You can only put in so much into a relationship, he has to put in that other percent. Otherwise- there is nothing. I pray he comes to his senses.
It doesn’t really matter if you talk to him if he isn’t willing to listen. Ask him to go to counseling with you to help you both communicate better. Both of you have to be willing to make a marriage work. Good luck!
Google “the 7 year itch/marriage” …it’s real!! Knowing that, you can both be intentional about getting out of it!
I can’t speak for everyone else but I know what it feels like to not speak adult anymore lol. But it sounds like you need a friend for a certain conversation. And another friend maybe who is interested in the same things as you. Yes your husband can be your best friend and be the one you go to , but also they may not be the one you can confide in about certain things and or they just don’t have the same interest in fitness. I find it very important to not hold a husband, partner or bf or gf as the one who meets every interest with passion . That’s why it’s important to have specific friends for that. Find women who build you up and vice versa it will definitely help you . Also find common interest between you and your husband . Maybe play a bored game or card game or video game . Something you both are willing to do together .
I realize I am man when it comes to this page, but I would recommend you try the “The { } And” cards. We tend to get to get stuck in the “How are you? How was your day?” Sort of monotonous questions that seem like talking without saying anything much of importance. If he feels like something is missing from your conversations this is a great way to get deeper into things. There can be a lot of hard, difficult to answer questions about each other and yourselves. I would absolutely recommend at least checking it out.
My advice stop focusing on him and focus on yourself do things you want to do that make you happy. Life or marriage is not about changing yourself so others might accept or like you including your husband.
Counseling for sure. Love is a choice so just need to get the spark back
My husband does the same thing and it is very painful and frustrating. I understand completely.
Just start following him and keep talk when he walks away, maybe ask for his opinion when you talk about your day like " can you believe she did that?" “What would you do in the situation?” If you aren’t already, if that doesn’t help than maybe he just doesn’t care about what your talking about.
Being talked at and not talked with, is really hard to explain to someone sometimes. (I used to be in this position. My ex used to talk at me all the time and not with me.)
Especially when you also see the other person just as frustrated with how things are going in the relationship. You want to say something and try to explain, but hard to find the right words so you don’t hurt their feelings.
Maybe he feels like talking about your day and things only you want to talk about is getting exhausting and he feels neglected. Or unimportant in some way.
The long languages and asking him about his day are both great!!
Main thing to remember (or try to do), is that nothing will turn around right away.
Maybe start with taking some time to remember and do some of things for him that he enjoyed or likes. But at the same time, do things that make you happy.
Everything will fall into place from there.