I feel like my marriage is over. My husband has worked out of town pretty much the whole time we’ve been together. I did and raised my kids pretty much on my own, and they are adults now. He still works away, and I’ve never felt more alone. The past year he’s more distant, has changed his password on his phone, calls less. I feel like there’s a stranger in my house when he does come home. When he is here, he’s on his phone constantly; he never wants to have serious conversations about our relationship. I try to tell him how I feel, and his response is I’m sorry, that’s it. I get he’s tired, but honestly, I’m done trying to fix something that apparently only I see a problem with.
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Sounds like it’s time for divorce.
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He’s cheating from the sound of it.
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He’s having an affair…get out. You’re miserable anyways
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Don’t invest anymore time or energy into someone who won’t do the same for you.
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Take it into your own hands and find that peace. If that’s what your gut is telling you, following it and you just might be much happier. 
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Dont allow yourself to be unhappy or feel cheated out of happiness. Sometimes you have to do what is best for you. He apparently is not giving his best to you. Dont waste anymore time. Be happy. Best wishes to you
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He probably had a whole ass family somewhere else. You have said you tried. What else is there to do? Next time he leaves for work ask him to not come back. Be happy!
If your kids are bout of the house, tell your husband you want to go with him on his next trip, if he says no or hesitates, get a lawyer
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Same!!! I feel completely the same… except im the one who works and comes home and he wants nothing to do with me at all unless its to benefit his needs. I hate feeling this way but i wanna try making our marriage work
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Sounds like an affair to me. I hate to put it so bluntly, but all the signs are there.
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If possible, maybe go on the road with him? Your kids are grown right? Take the chance to see the “world”. I mean he can’t be on his phone while driving right? Say fuck it and try something new and spontaneous with him! If trying that doesn’t workout for you then unfortunately you know what your next move is… Good luck💙
You will meet someone who will appreciate you and communicates with you. Someone that will make you happy.
I wouldn’t be quick to jump to the conclusion that he’s cheating right away, I’m not saying don’t question it but also take into consideration that you have both lived separate lives basically with him working out of town. This does happen people who are married do get used to being alone and it might be that y’all have nothing to talk about anymore. Not that there isn’t love but when you’ve been apart everyday it does happen that people are used to being alone and when y’all are together there’s nothing to talk about or do together because y’all aren’t used to doing it everyday. I’m not saying to assume everything is fine because it clearly isn’t. But give that some thought because I would like to think that if it was that maybe y’all could fix that instead of just throwing it away
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He is comfortable with the way things are. It works for him so he can’t understand why it doesn’t work for you. Do what you need to do to be happy.
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Changes the password on his phone should have been the first red flag. If he had nothing to hide he wouldn’t change it. It sounds like he’s cheating. Don’t waste time in life you don’t get that time back. Leave and be happy
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Well if the kids are out can you take a couple days and follow him with out him knowing see what he does where he gos when not at work
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sorry but u know trust ur instinct…cause all u said was a clues that ur husband is having an affair…its really hurt but u must confront him and accept what he said to u or not…and if u both didnt work out anymore?u must get out of it…
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Even if he’s being faithful… I don’t think either of you are happy. How do you want to live?
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Don’t cross oceans for people who won’t jump over a puddle for you.
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Just have a completely honest conversation, dont be mad or anything just say what you really feel , give him permission to just lay it all on tbe line and go from there.
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K so get your own place and move out.
He’s already “checked out”, he’s just comfortable with the routine. Doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, you just have grown apart. Time for a new beginning a new journey
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Stop waiting for him to come around and make the decision for him. Choose yourself and love yourself. What if while you are hoping and waiting, Mr. Right passed you by because of the empty ring on your finger?!
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It’s time to leave because I hate to say this but he is cheating on you. You need to end it & you will find someone new that will love you the way you should be loved!
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He sounds like he’s totally checked out of this marriage. Tell him you want a divorce. If he really wants things to work, he’ll start investing more time into your marriage.
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I will not tell you to divorce, but I would definitely separate. Do not separate to give him a scare or to make him see what he’s missing out on, that would be a bonus. A good old fashion separation where you leave to another home or move your things into another bedroom and put a lock in that door. You need to mentally leave this relationship so that you can be at peace with yourself and decide if you would like to leave permanently. This is not a threat to your husband, so don’t present it as a question. Matter of factly let him know that you have made up your mind and want a separation for your mental and emotional sanity. There is nothing to further discuss because you’ve said everything you had to say and he did nothing or very little to change. There is power in making a wholeheartedly well thought out decision. Take no less than 3 weeks. No sex, texting. Only communicate if you have to and when you do, keep it to a yes or no minimum. I left my husband for 5 years and to be honest he had a drug problem, he was controlling and he was not fit to be around anyone. It took five years for him to persuade me to try again. He is still the person I always wanted him to be and more, but I do not love him the same. That is a decision I made to get back with him for the sake of my kids. That’s a different story, point is he got the point. You need to take a healthy control of your life back.
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Pray. Pray for the Lord to show you him through the Lords eyes. Go to therapy and if he doesn’t want to you can still go. Talk to a therapist about your feelings, the facts and hopefully you can get some insight. I’m so sorry you are going though this. Communication is key. Talk to him calmly and tell him how you feel. Let him do the same.
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He has another family.
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i feel like u should have moved on WAY before now.
uve wasted ur time. but now that yall r old and dont have a connection then u should DEF move on. find someone who u want to spend the rest of ur days with.
i always give my husband that choice that if he feels hes done with me then we talk about it and move on. it keeps a good transparency in our relationship.
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Next time he goes out of town go with him . He may have lived a lonely life without his wife and children , but he made the sacrifices to work to take care of his family . He probably made friends without you and the children to help cope with loneliness. Give him the benefit of the doubt until you find out the real story. You can always try to hire a private detective later on if needed.
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Sorry but by his actions it looks like hes cheating. Hes not ringing up as much or talking and he has changed his password and is on it while he’s home
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I am in your same boat. I have been raising our 3 little girls ages, 12, 9 and 2 alone while he works. I have been talking to him about our relationship a lot because I feel like we are 2 seperate people that have kids together but 13 years is a long time to just throw it away although I have considered that. We are trying to make it work. For us and the kids. If it can be saved I am going to try my best to save us if not than we will figure it out. Just do not give up yet, there is still a lot worth fighting for. You will know when there is nothing left. Prayers girl.
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He probably has someone else pack his bags and be happpy on your own x
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You know it’s already over. That’s what brought you here. As someone who tried WAY too long to save a trainwreck of a marriage - leave. Don’t waste any more time. You will be endlessly happier alone than constantly feeling miserable about your marriage.
Plus, sounds like he’s probably already moved on/is planning to. He’s probably been cheating for a long time. IF HE HAD NOTHING TO HIDE, HE WOULDN’T NEED A LOCK ON HIS PHONE. Marriage should be transparent and honest.
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Sounds like he’d be gone if it was me, best of luck whatever you decide
Time to move on and be happy. You sid your duty as a wife and mother but if he doesn’t and isn’t going to be there for you time to move on
It can’t be a one sided marriage. Try marriage counseling and if it doesn’t work, say your goodbyes. You deserve someone who will be there for you, especially now as an empty nester. 
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Life is so hard with twists and turns God Bless and Good luck to you hope things work out for you both
Try to recreate the reason you fell head over heels for each other your both tired but try to fix his favorite meal or tell him to get dressed up and celebrate your accomplishments marriage takes work and their must of been something about him you once feel in love with him
Try to spice things up make his favorite dinner wear something sexy and if he doesn’t show any interest at all then he most certainly is either cheating or has no feelings for you anymore because what man would turn down sex with his sexy wife
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Sounds like it was over long ago. Time to look out for yourself. Kids are adults. If he’s not willing to go to counseling and work on it there’s no sense in continuing the marriage. So sorry
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Why crying over spilled milk? Move on as long is not your fault so be happy.
Seek Jesus and make Him your Lord and savior!
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Get everything you can out of savings accounts etc. file for divorce and just leave the papers where he can find them. He hasn’t even bothered to talk so I wouldn’t hand those papers to him
He has another family somewhere.
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He definitely has something going on… have you tried asking him if there is anything that is bothering him, something that is wrong with y’all’s relationship. Sometimes and I know this by experience I was with a truck driver, they feel as if you are distancing yourself or you are living a different life… ask questions. If not talk to a counselor, your pastor, someone to help you and see if it can be saved. It’s very important to include jim in everything even if they are away. They get used to being alone… that’s just my opinion. Hope it helps… good luck and prayers…
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You already know the answer… He changed his phone password, constantly on the phone and says” Im sorry, Im done” … Honey, he has already moved on from you w/someone else! Get your finances in order and call a lawyer now!!
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Move on…u deserve better …
Get ur finances in order and contact a lawyer
Leave. Life is too short to wonder if you’re loved. You’ve expressed your concerns and couldn’t care less. Be blessed.
I was married to a alcoholic for 20 years. My pastor kept saying hang in there. We were married in name only. We were never together cause he loved alcohol more. Finally I said enough and got divorced. Best decision I ever made. People at church always thought I was single because my husband was never around.
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Your children are adults you did your duties as a loving mother, wife. This happens to a lot of people now decide what is next and live my darling, live! Take the hand of the Lord Jesus and live! Chose Jesus.
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I hate to say it,but I’ve been there-If he’s not “getting it” from you he’s gettinng some from someone else.My husband lied to me-told his coworkers we were divorcing and was going with another woman for about a year,before I wised up and kicked his butt out Met the most wonderful man a few years later-We’ve been married 24 years.
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You sound like you’ve done what you had to for a long time. Time to bring peace and happiness into your heart. Move on and don’t waste another day with someone who doesn’t respect you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Best of luck. 
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I’m sorry but your marriage was over & done with long ago. You were a convenience for him & essentially he has always been an absent father. You’ve essentially been a single parent your entire marriage & you were paid to do so. Which I’m sorry is just tragic.
Now that you’ve fulfilled your role you are no longer of any value to him. Honestly I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if he has a whole other life that never included you or your children. Now that they are adults he feels free to continue pursuing that life & leave you in the dust, hence his secrecy & pulling away from you.
Sadly I’d question him & ask if he ever truly loved you? Also tell him you’ve had enough; it’s your time now. Your time to be happy & get a divorce.
It’ll hurt & be hard but worth it.
I’m sure your children will help & support you. I doubt they have any kind of meaningful relationship with their father. So don’t try use them as an excuse to remain in a loveless marriage. You deserve soo much better!
Good luck & God Bless.
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Start living your own life. If he wants to act that way then it’s time to move on and find someone who will treat you with respect because your husband does not respect you at all. Start putting yourself first.
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You said you were alone most of your marriage,kids are adults…Now it is your time…Take a part time job start working on you…I am sure when he notices you are taking control of your life and see’s you are not sitting at home he will start wanting to talk…
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My husband also works about 110 miles away from home. He has a rental in this other town. I go up there as much as I can and he comes home as much as he can. We have an adult son that lives in our residential home and I have 5 senior rescue dogs and a rescue cat that he watches from time to time so I can go to hubby’s rental. We’ve been married for 32 years and it’s very hard for us to be apart…I’m so sorry for your situation. I love my husband more than ever before, but it’s because he always treats me like I’m the most important person in the world to him. I would be devastated if he acted like I didn’t matter.
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Talk to him. Talk even if he does not. Why cant you go with him when he works out of town? You have no kids at home you could go a few times maybe that would put a little spark back in your marriage. If it does not get any better then tell him your unhappy and you want a divorce so you can have a life with someone who wants to spend time with you. He has lived like this your entire marriage this is all he knows. I think if there was someone else he would not come home.
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Let him go your kids are grown time you live your life for you. Go find yourself and enjoy the rest of your life!
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If he is not willing to work on bettering your relationship, you are fighting a battle that you will never win. Sounds like it is time for you to move on and start doing things that make you happy.
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Start doing you girl. Maybe it’s the empty nest and just needing to learn to connect again. If he doesn’t notice you getting your own life, then maybe he is having affairs
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time for you…get a job to be independent and get some friends and do what makes YOU happy…screw him…you feel this coming…so do it on your terms…
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Sounds like he has another family or at least a girlfriend. Get a investigator and find out what is going on
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You don’t need to have his permission to move on…make yourself happy!
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when you are out of their head (hardly calls) you are out of their heart
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Trust your instincts. It’s clear he has another woman. Face facts and move on. Not all marriages can or should be “saved” or “fixed”. Divorce is not the end of the world.
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Move on and get a divorce. I’m sure he is messing around. Sorry but it’s the truth. Leave and love your own life
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I agree have him investigated…take money and start putting it away for times to come…you have no reason to stay with him…you deserve happiness even if it is being alone for a while…your kids are grown…nothing holding you back.
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Sounds like there could be someone else. Coldness is not fair. Even if you are by yourself, enjoy your life.
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So why not go on the road with him and enjoy the other half of your life. You don’t know him anymore as he dont you. Go buy some leather pants come pulling up on a motorcycle and rock his world
youve been very easy on him and accepted a lot, now its your turn, ask him how he stands does he want the marriage or does he want a divorce, then move on whatever the answer is
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Id file for divorce and get all I could. Sounds like he has a mistress somewhere. Id blow up his world. Then I move on and find happiness elsewhere.
When you are left alone for months while they work and you have to depend on yourself cause no one is there it’s hard to develop a marriage when they are home for a week or two. Mine never understood that he couldn’t come home and expect me to be the dutiful wife cause he didn’t want to help with the day to day chores that had to be done everyday so we pretty much destroyed our marriage. Now we are only roommates when he is home. Do yourself a favor and think hard about what you want your life to be like before you get too old to make a change
He s not going to change , & he probably has a girlfriend , I was married 35 yes he passed away & then I married the love of my life & HE PASSED AWAY , leave him & be happy
People won’t change what they
Don’t acknowledge. Life is toooo short not to feel loved,
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Your first step out the doors are always, I mean always hard, but once it’s out there, it does get easier. Follow your heart. Keeping you in my
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If he has changed passwords he is hiding something. Be strong and stand firm. Tell him you want answers.
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It sounds like you are in pain and maybe should try couples counseling. I think if you do decide to part you should stay in counseling if you can afford it because divorce is NOT easy. I did not read any pros and you should not stay in that situation and cause more harm upon yourself. Women are more empowered than ever to make decisions so go ahead and do what is best for you! Happy holidays
Just keep trying because you both love each other just time will work it out …even though one stays away the value you have grown together is well worth the effort
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Its your time to be happy…move on
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Go see an attorney. The top local divorce attorney and put him on retainer.Take this time to gather info on all assets and retirement. Be smart and put feelings aside. At the same time get a job, get a support group in place and then confront him if you choose but if you decide to walk away, or if he does, you won’t get caught flat footed.
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Marriage is about commitment but is he really committed to you? I think not. He is living the life of a single man. You have learned not to need him in the process. Only you can make the final decision. (I was married to a member of the Army for over 5 years but spent only 15 months of that time with him. They don’t change!)
It wouldn’t surprise me if he has someone else. I’d find out. Even if he doesn’t you need more than he’s giving you.
Just walk away. If not important to him to talk about and resolve his mind and heart are elsewhere. You can’t change that.
If you can afford a lawyer, hire one. If not, you can file yourself. There will be some filing fees and court costs but minimal compared to lawyer fees. Make sure you get what you deserve in the settlement.
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There is something or someone he’s giving his heart to.
Move on and get a divorce. It is your time now. Get a good lawyer and take him for every dime he has. He is probably having an affair and doesn’t want to be married anymore to you. He is just too much of a coward to talk to you like a man and face things. Be happy!
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perhaps he has a family elsewhere? perhaps he’s been doing more than just working out of town.
Spy on his phone. Get a spy app, downloaded on his phone and control it remotely it. If he’s cheating, which I’m sure he is since he’s away a lot, divorce him. That’s it
Kick him to the curb! If a man has no time for me and hides things from me, hes done!
Sounds like divorce should have been an option long ago!
Change the locks and he can go else where. He is not dealing with you at all. Put all his stuff outside.
Start taking money a little at a time … if you divorce you won’t get much of anything!.. you worked for it!
Long distance relationship are hard enough.Speek your mind enough is enough.Wher we are in your life if it don’t change I’m so so done.Life is to short If You can’t stand by me let it go God’s got a better plan! I will not play your game Shape up be real or ship out!! Be Firm!
Move on for yourself best of luck.
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You should have some one to investigate him. I there is , divorce, money then new life!!! Good luck, God Bless!
Take half and move on
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the signs are there. just take care of you
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Sometimes you have to save yourself