I feel like there is no way out of this

I am being emotionally & mentally abused by my spouse of 8 years. We have kids together, I love him so much but I can’t take this anymore.

He yells at me and my kids all the time and I feel like there’s no way to get out of this

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel like there is no way out of this

There are a multitude of ways to get out if you want too- but please contact 1800 RESPECT for some support xx

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Save some money, get an apartment, make sure you have transportation, someone to lean on if you need emergency child care, file for food stamps and other assistance- do not add his income, look for child care and start slowly packing the things you want to take- important stuff needs to go to a trusted family member or friends house (after you take lots of pics of them just incase) slowly move clothes and other things later, talk to a lawyer about custody, set up counseling for you and the kids- try a church if you can’t afford a regular counselor and try and remember you don’t deserve to be treated this way. Your kids need you to protect them. They need their mama to fight and get out alive. Good luck!

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There are ways out. If you can’t leave for yourself then do it for the children because it’s definitely not fair to them at all for them to be mentally and emotionally abused by someone who is suppose to love them and protect them. If you aren’t ready to leave then find a family member on your side who would be willing to take your children until you get enough of courage to leave him. You definitely don’t want child services finding out that you’re letting your kids be exposed to this type of treatment trust me. Mental and emotional abuse is way worse than physical abuse because the broken bones the bruises etc can fade and heal but those words those put downs the belittlement etc affects people way more cause the mind will replay it like it’s a record playing on repeat and that’s exactly what’s happening to your children. I’m not trying to be hard on you but you’re a grown woman and can figure it out to leave but those kids nope they didn’t chose to be born into an abusive home. And I’m a survivor of domestic violence and childhood abuse

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Your kids deserve a mother that stands up for them and gets them out of abusive places. Do it for them. If you don’t you’re not only failing yourself, but your failing them and as a mother.

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I felt like this when I was married, best decision I ever made was to leave and get divorced. I’ve never been so happy, life is amazing

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Go to a abused woman and children’s shelter. Abuse comes in many different forms and your being abused. If there are none in your area contact a church in your area. They will find you some resources. If you have no transportation they have volunteers for that. Get out before you loose your mind!

Prayers for you. Yes, there is a way out. If you have a church talk to your Pastor about getting help. There are shelters you can go to till you get on your feet. He won’t be able to come near. Your children need you to help them get out. Teach them that is not normal. It’s abuse. If you have family near reach out to them. They will not judge you or condemn you. God bless and be with you. Leave now.

Counselling tell him to stop yelling at you.

The side chic is stressing him :joy::joy::joy::joy:

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:two_hearts::pray:t3::two_hearts:

call a crisis center & get those kids out of that hell hole. None of you deserve this, this my dear IS ABUSE.

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Listen to everything that’s being said to you I have been in your shoes and the best thing I ever did was to finally get up the nerve to leave and stay gone. I done it and you can too. Don’t go back it won’t change no matter how many times they tell you they will never do it again it will happen again and again until you do something about it.

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3rd post today I’ve read with a similar story…also been through this myself…it’s sad there’s so much of it😩

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you’ll feel so free after you leave babe! call rainbow house. they have great resources! I believe in you!

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Has this been happening for the full 8 years or has it just started happening
If it’s been happening for all the years of marriage then you allowed this to continue for all these years so he feels its okay… The 1st time it started you should of nipped it in the bud and made it known that you will not tolerate this kind of Sh*t… If it just started happening recently then something could be the matter, speak to him about it but it doesn’t make it right… That is not love

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I’ve been in the same boat. Trying to get housing. That’s been hard. And then you want to open up to people but hearing them say the things you are already thinking. We are our own worst critics. We don’t need more. We need fans. People to root us on!:heart:

It’s not as simple as some say. And everyone is different in how they approach things. I would start w a safety plan. Anyone you trust. Like family let them know what’s going on ahead of time. I know everyone is going to say the usual. Things we already know. We ARE doing this for our kids. You are reaching out and that’s an amazing and BRAVE first step.
You are not failing anyone. Don’t listen to them. You are strong and you will get through this. I’m rooting for you. I know the progress won’t always be linear. But you can do this. And you will get out of this relationship and be happy. Your children will be happy. It’s hard after so long… I understand. And it builds up. To where you can’t even remember when it started. Then years pass and you’re like . Omg where did the time go??. What am I doing?
I’m here if you need a friend. I don’t judge anyone and while some stories share some of the same things. We are ALL different and we’re not all built the same way.

What might seem easy and simple to some isn’t the same for others. Hang in there.

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Seeing some of the comments in this group. When this woman is FINALLY reaching out for help. Put your judgement aside. If you can help, do that. And if you can’t… please don’t make it worse. Let’s support her and help her get back on her feet. With some dignity. Let’s not tear her down right as she gets up. C’mon now. BE BETTER

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My husband and I are falling out. I’m financially dependent on him. I’m taking on more hours at work but it’s hard. You’re not alone. I would get with DHS and see what you need to do to qualify for some programs. You’re not alone

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Sadly love isn’t always enough. You need to find some way out of the abuse. Don’t be surprised to hear how wonderful people think he is…it doesn’t matter. What matters is you and your kids.

It feels daunting I know, but get out. You WILL make it. Do it for yourself, do it for your babies. :purple_heart:

It’s not you.its him.he needs to understand the stress he’s causing.

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Contact your local woman’s shelter. They will 100% help you get on your feet. If you don’t know where they are, contact your police department’s non emergency number and they will tell you what to do to get in touch with them. You can get out and make a better life for yourself. You and your children can be happy!

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It’s so hard to get out of DV situations but congratulations on taking the first step. I’m rooting for you and you can do this! The first step is always the most difficult but you’ve got this. It took more bravery than you’ll ever understand to even type this post and submit it…I’m so PROUD of you for doing it.

Contact your local community action agency to see what resources may be available to assist you in getting away.

If you need a non judgmental listening ear, I’m here and I care.:heartpulse:

Hugs to you

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If there was a way in, there’s a way out…get out, it gets no better. But YOU have to decide and stick to the fact that YOU want out and are done being treated that way. :black_heart:

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There’s always a way to get out. It just comes down to whether your emotionally strong enough to move on. There’s a saying that goes “when somebody loves you they want you to be happy but when somebody loves their self they want you to make them happy”. Please find courage if not for yourself for your kids, I’m sure you might feel like you’re breaking your home but in the end your kids will thank you because you’re saving their emotional support and putting their needs before anybody else’s. Remember that you are not the only mother in this situation and there is no shame in asking for help, please reach out to a family member or reach out to your local department of economic security office and they will guide you in the right direction. No woman should ever feel the way you feel. I pray that you are guided in the right path.

Oh but there is. Decide, file for divorce, have him served and then hang on for dear life until you get him out of your house.

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I was with my kids dad over 12 years and I cared about him to. Finally left him 16 months ago and been with my new man for almost year never have I been happier. Sad I wasted so many years trying to make another man happy and not my self. And also my kids to where scared of that man. And I come to find out my kids dad was very hateful to my older son when I wasn’t home. That’s my biggest regret not leaving sooner. All my new man does is put me first and loves my kids

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Get your innocent kids out!!!

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Read the book “why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft :purple_heart:

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When I was getting ready to leave an abusive relationship I went and got a po box and started applying for everything including housing. Also, find someone you can confide into and have an exit plan ready for if crap hits the fan. Your kids need you to get them out because their little minds are thinking this is normal. Good luck and you can do this.

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Call a DV agency. Emotional abuse is abuse. I owe my & my children’s lives to my counselor. I didn’t believe what we went through was abuse. I was convinced everything was my fault. This wonderful woman had the difficult task of teaching me & kids that we didn’t deserve to be treated the way he treated us.

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You gotta find a place to live, set a goal, make a plan.

Set a goal of when you want to be out.
Start planning your escape.
Start either looking for a house/apartment, or someone to live with, a roommate, anything.
Start packing, leave when he’s not home.
Write a letter explaining why you left, be as rational as you can. Include him seeing the kids via court rules.

Itll be expensive but if you haven’t told him to cut it out or else you’ll leave, then maybe start there, if you’ve exhausted all options then do the above.

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There is always a way. Reach out to domestic violence groups, call your doctor, go to DSS, talk to a police officer and start filing reports/pressing charges! A paper trail, a record, ALWAYS helps! Where there is a will, there is a way. It might not be fun, you might end up less financially stable, so many things both good and bad, could happen. However, the most important thing is that your children grow up SAFE AND HAPPY! growing up in that type of environment will only hurt them! Seeing their mom fight for herself and for them will create much more of a positive thing in their lives than anything! You’ve got this and if you ever need someone to talk things through with, I’m a message away! A lot of us have been there and have experience with leaving a terrible situation.

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Life goes by so fast. Dont waste it being unhappy. There is happiness out there some where

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There is it wont be easy but it will be worth it.
And it will show your kids how to stand up for yourself and how to expect ppl to treat you properly. Kids mirror so much of what we do in our lives.
Break the cycle :heart:
(Find supports whether it be family, friends, or local support centres. Make a plan. And never look back)
You got this! :muscle:

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There’s always a way out
Just do it strategically. Slowly .
Be careful and be safe .

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Women’s shelter, domestic violence hotline, STAT. They will guide you how to get out safely. This website helped me tremendously: thewomenscenter.org. Plan, plan, plan & make progress every day to get yourself and your kids out safely ASAP or you’ll regret it the rest of your life. Hundreds of women do this every day and you can too. Lots of support out there, so find your inner courage and be the fierce badass I know you can be. We’re all behind you and rooting for you. Heck, depending on where you live I’d take you in today.

Why do you love him? Ask yourself the tough questions.

He does NOT deserve you xx

Please think about your children. Do they deserve to feel the way you’re feeling? They need a healthy stable loving place to be kids.

Grl, pack some things and drive away. File for Divorce get restraining order, go visit your parent’s a good friend that you can trust, make sure you have money stashed. And in the restraining order and Divorce you not only want the home but need it for your kids and that you want child support. Unless you rather not want the house as like I chose not to take but wanted half the value only because I knew every chance he got he would have an excuse to come and get something from the garage or the house and would harass me.

Ask him to leave leave sweetie you and your kids deserve better

Bacchus s*** and throw him out can’t do that pack your shouldn’t go with the kids

Would you let your daughter be treated this way?? If the answer is no then you need to create a plan to leave. If youve been isolated from family friends reach out and tell them what’s happening. Call domestic abuse helpline and get resources. File for food stamps, medical etc for you and the kids if you need it have it sent to a friend families house. It will be hard but so worth it