Now I am married with 2 kids and 1 on the way. One of my best friends and co-worker is a guy that I’ve known for years had a crush on me and he is very aware that I have absolutely no interest in him. I’ve had to reiterate that fact several times as he is very clingy and I try to distance myself from him while maintaining our friendship. My husband tolerates him as my friend but does not like to be around him. Now that my husband and I are on the same shift, I spend all of my time with my family and basically one day out of every 2 months I see my friend outside of work to hang out. That doesn’t seem like enough for him as he’s constantly asking when we’re going to hang out next and basically complaining that we don’t spend time together outside of work. I feel like I’m being smothered by him. I have no good way to tell him to back off without feeling terrible for making him feel like I’m neglecting his friendship but, at the same time, I need my darn space and I’m tired of telling him I’m busy or I’m sleeping constantly due to being tired and pregnant. Both are true but I feel like I shouldn’t have to express that every day.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I feel smothered by my husband: Advice?
I dunno, the fact that you are trying to maintain a friendship with someone who is super into you screams red flag. If you don’t want your husband, let him go and find someone who does.
Your married why would maintain anything with someone that has a thing for you? I feel bad for your husband
I wouldn’t be spending much energy on relationships outside of my family, especially with someone who is clingy and into you…
Dude clearly doesn’t have any respect for your marriage. I don’t blame your husband. You don’t owe this dude anything. Sounds like there’s more to it than that.
He is too needy. He doesn’t like that he is not your center of attention. Keep telling him you are busy and tired because it is the truth. If he can’t understand he is not a friend
Clearly he isn’t over you. It would be best to end the friendship or go low/no contact for a while… I get wanting to keep a friendship but if you are truly not into him you need to make him take the space to get over you and find someone that will actually be in to him…
Be blunt, obviously it’s not getting through. Sometimes you just gotta say it how it is and not sugar coat it.
Sounds like you’re leading him on when you’re a married woman pregnant with kids so spend your time with your husband and your kids.
Weird and waste of energy… let that friendship go
Drop your “friend”. Save your marriage.
Huh? You feel smothered by your husband or this “friend”? Either way, why would you prioritize a man who is openly into you over your husband?
I would walk away from that. It seems like drama and if he’s pushing like that he’s not respecting anything your saying so let it go.
Your main subject says smothered by husband but your message seems to be by your friend. Which is it? If it is your husband, communicate and tell him how you feel. If it is the friend, it is time to end that friendship. You have tried to put up boundaries and he is clearly not listening. He wants more than friendship and with you being married, that is not okay. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and your husband was spending time with a female friend that has feelings for him
If you’re married with kids and another one on the way maybe you shouldn’t be hanging out with another guy who’s clingy like that especially one who had/has a crush on you. And best Friend or not any real man would accept the fact that you’re a married woman with a family and just back off. And as a married woman you still shouldn’t be trying to maintain that friendship with him… Like why would you do that?
You’re maintaining a friendship with someone who clearly wants more. That’s just gross and disrespectful to your own husband.
Why did she say she feels smothered by her husband but than went on about the other guy?!
If he truly had pure motives he wouldn’t bug you! I just hope u have not given him false hope.
That’s not a friend. His obviously trying to ruin your marriage
You should have already let that friend go.
So is this post about your husband or your friend cuz damn that was on confusing read.
Probably shouldn’t hang with the friend, if he is pressuring you for more. His feelings are not your responsibility.
You need to choose! Hes not a true friend if he doesnt respect your family time!
Gepetto is a boxer pit mix. He’s always in my business, I can’t even go to the bathroom alone
So your husband loves you …
I think you need to make some more space between you and the “friend”
I’m fairly certain if I read this correctly he knows he doesn’t have a chance, but continues to peruse you is concerning.
I say focus on your family first.
That’s not a real friend. Fyi
The sad thing is that there are soooo many women (not in the comment section, obviously) that think the husband is the wrong one in this scenario.
Why are you doing this?
First off you should never be friends with someone who has expressed to you that they’re interested in more than a friendship. It’s common sense out of respect for your husband.
Smothered by your husband sounds like yr friend not hubby,be strait up only way to be why would u need to hang out with another man when your married? You must be leading him on or given him false hope
I’m a bit confused, the top reads smothered by your husband and then it says smothered by your friend.
But, I think if you are married you don’t need a male friend that you hang out with when he’s likes you more than that. You need to break off the hanging out part and just be friendly to him at work and when you see him out in public.
To hang out with a guy that likes you “more” is a quick way to marriage problems
wait…the title says you feel smothered by your husband. I’m assuming it’s suppose to be smothered by this guy friend…and no lol you KNOW he’s into you…I would be on a strict basis that I only see or communicate with that person at work. dude would make me AND my husband feel uncomfortable wanting to be glued up my ass all the time
Yeh ur title says smothered by husband and story sounds like your friend is smothering you which is it.
Is he really a friend if he continues to cross boundaries?? If he can’t respect your marriage, the fact that you are a mama and have a life, you need to drop him for a while. Until you you put your foot down, he will continue this behavior, which you are kinda allowing. Once you finally set those boundaries and talk to him, he he can not respect that, then you need to totally distance yourself from him. If not, you are not respecting yourself or your marriage.
Um, you want to spend time with a male he knows wants to F you? Let that sink in! If the shoe was on the other foot…. you have to cut him off!
Maybe stop being friends with the dude you’re stringing along
He’s not a friend. He’s a threat to your family
I’m confused…doesn’t seem like you’re explaining your husband but the friend??
HUSBAND. That’s the only person that matters in any scenario. You’re smothered because your husband wants to spend time with you as your husband…???
You should’ve done left that friend behind once your husband expressed his dislike about the situation!
Don’t be passive aggressive. Tell him straight up you aren’t in the mood. Also consider ending this friendship as there seems to be a hidden agenda behind it on his end. He shows possessive/narcissistic traits and this is when you are married.
I’m confused…who is smothering?? The friend? Or the husband? Sounds like the friend.
The fact that you are still entertaining A relationship in any way with this person is not okay when you know that he likes you in a different way so maybe you’re just wanting his attention
Is this a serious question? He is constantly disrespecting your husband and your marriage. I would’ve dropped him as a friend after his first warning. I cannot believe you’re still entertaining this man
First of all, Don’t have anymore kids after this one.
This isn’t a friendship, he is obsessed with you and unable to except your boundaries. As a married woman your husband is your priority, not this dude who is pushing for more than a married woman should be giving.
If someone had a crush on me. Besides my husband. And both my husband and I knew about that. I’d shut that down immediately.
Sounds like you’re being smothered by this “friend” not by your husband.
You’re trying to have your cake and eat it too. Nope. Dump the “friend” and do right by your husband. You’re allowing your “friend” to think there is something more or that there will be. Unless this isn’t the whole story (I think she is cheating honestly)
The title and the description don’t match.
On to the main issue. There’s a guy that can’t take no for an answer. You keep trying to tell him and he won’t accept it. You still go out alone with him? Your husband is a saint for tolerating that much. Especially since this guy is still clingy after you apparently setting him straight. Have some respect for your husband and cut that friendship off!
If he’s a work friend ur husband should put him in his place
You have a “friend” who clearly is interested in a romantic relationship with you, despite the fact that you’re married. This is disrespectful to your husband and your marriage. You need to terminate that friendship. He’s smothering you because he wants more. He’s trying to wear you down.
You gotta figure out your life before you try to get us to figure out this post.
Doesn’t sound like your husband is the one smothering at all
He doesn’t want to be your friend girl lol I would end that soon
If that’s your “best” friend, you need to find better friends.
Tell your husband to tell him💁🏽♀️
You’re in the wrong. Entertaining a friendship like that. I’d tell you to kick rocks.
I’m gonna need some reiteration here. The caption says feeling smothered by your husband, but the post sounds like you’re being smothered by the friend…
Are your husband and friend the same person… Lol
You’re the problem .
It honestly sounds like you like the attention. Which I do understand. However you’re married. And the dude is crossing the line, and continuing to have a friendship outside of work could easily be misleading and it’s not necessary when you have a family and you know how he feels about you.
I am so confused. You feel smothered by your husband yet you are talking about two different men???
First of all I wouldn’t be hanging out with another man wether I was attracted to him or not outside of work without my husband. That’s how BS starts. My husband is my best friend. The only other male best friend I would consider is my dad.
Second it sounds like this “co-worker” is smothering you, not your husband.
Ok. First: your “friend” is not a friend. Real friends respect your boundaries. Second: this guy thinks that at some point you are going to reciprocate his feelings. Despite you telling him you will not. This guy could easily turn into an obsessed stalker when you break off this friendship. And make no mistake, you need to just break the friendship off. He doesn’t respect you or your boundaries. Lastly, your husband is a Saint for putting up with this guy.
Idk why you’re giving someone time that you have to repeatedly tell that you have no interest when you have a husband and family
Dudes trying to break in, and to me that’s disrespectful of you
That “friend” is pushing you because he doesn’t respect your relationship or any boundaries. I’d cut off that “friendship”.
Girl dismiss him. He’s not someone who appreciates or respects boundaries and that is crystal clear. Your family and marriage are more important.
I’d flip if my husband was hanging out with a woman who has expressed feelings for him and then felt conflicted with how much time he could give her, because they’re friends. See where I’m going with this. Smh
So is your husband or your friend smothering you? I’m confused.
Your friend sounds annoying though.
Your husband and your family comes first
I’m so confused. Why does the title say your husband is smothering you but the body of the comment says your friend is wanting to hang out with you more than you are willing to hang out.
In any case, you need to cut ties with this male friend as no good can come from this
This sounds like a future Dateline episode. Stop encouraging his crush, tell him you’re not going out again until your kids are out of diapers.
You’ve had to reiterate several times to him and yet you think he understands your not interested?? Even then he very very clearly still is and it’s not healthy for you to feed into that. Get a better friend, maybe even change where you work and let the dude go. You’re literally having someone else’s baby and he’s still up your a$$too hangout that’s a RED FLAG.
Sounds like your husband needs to put his foot down…. The friend wants a relationship with you not a friendship…. So why are you still hanging on to that while married? I’m all for being friend with whoever you want but this friend does not respect your boundaries or your marriage!
Space, buy not with the guy who is in love with you
Well first of all your description and what you said contradict each other, it’s your friend that’s the issue. second, You can’t be in a relationship and be friends with someone who wants a smeggsual relationship with you, you’re being disrespectful to your husband and marriage.
At some point those who don’t understand family life will have to fade away until they do.
Soooo the friend is smothering you, not your husband?
Lmao what? Ain’t no way my wife has a “friend” that is openly pursuing a relationship with her.
To sender: please watch this
WTF girl it’s called boundaries
It sounds like you AND your friend needs to learn about them
I feel bad for your husband in this entire description tbh
Ur priorities seem to be f*kd up… I feel for ur husband
wtf u gotta tell him off before you lose your marriage over it husband is more important
Why are you continuing a friendship with a man who has feelings for you when you’re married!? That feels awful disrespectful to your husband especially considering this “friend” clearly doesn’t have appropriate boundaries or respect your marriage. I’d take a long hard look in the mirror and find the answers to those questions…
If your friend can’t respect you, your husband and your boundaries BYE
Okay. This is what I’d say…
Back, the, f**k, off. You’re smothering me. I feel sorry for your husband.
You owe him not explaination say I have to look after my own health first and we’ll being if he doesn’t understand back away as it is just adding stress to you you don’t have to satisfy his wants he need s to get a life and stop dep on others for happiness
So is the husband or “guy friend” the issue? You need time to spend with your guy friend? Im not following.
So is your husband smothering you, or some guy at work? And you need to put your foot down, AND find a new job. Your “friend” is not a friend.
U need to step away from the friend if it was the other way around would u want a woman talking to ur husband in the same situation? A true friend would respect boundaries
Sorry but that’s not the kind of friendship you want. He will push and push till you snap at him. I’d just tell him you can’t hang out outside of work because you have a husband and a family. He will never let you go if you keep being overly nice to him. Also I’d be worried about him saying things to make your friendship more than what it seems.
Wait, who’s smoothing you? Your husband or your friend?
Your husband deserves better.
You feel smothered because your mind likes the fact this other dude likes you. And with your husband there you can’t have that attention.
I am so confused. Lol
If u love your husband and want to be with him, it shouldn’t be an issue to tell dude to back off, seems like u like the guy as much as he does u but ur in denial about it.
What??? He’s sniffing after the … that’s not a healthy friendship
So ur smothered by ur husband but feel ur not giving ur male “friend” enough of ur time?
Why in the world are you spending time with a male “friend” who had/has a crush on you outside of work !?!?
A man who is persistent in more feelings than friends is not a friend he’s a back up plan and you know it. If you’re feeling smothered it’s probably hormones I suggest you end the friendship and give your husband his quality time.