I’m in a dilemma. I have a friend, a best friend(with benefits), and I also have a daughter who he grew to love. In the beginning, we both agreed that we weren’t looking for a relationship, and as time went on, I started to fall in love with him and I told him how I felt, but I also said I don’t want to start anything unless I know my daughter is completely comfortable with him. Well, she is now. It took me a long time to introduce her to him, but she grew to love him too. She prefers to hold his hand and not mine; she asks for his help before asking me; she loves to cuddle with him and play with him; she gets so excited when we pick him up from work… It’s super cute, and I feel like I fall for him all over again when she does stuff like that. Our relationship is so weird, it’s like we are a married couple but we’re not. He got screwed over so many times that he’s scared to go into a relationship; I also had a bad relationship with my daughters. Dad that I’m kind of scared to start anything too. If we got serious and it doesn’t work out, it would affect both me and my daughter, I don’t want to be bringing people in and out of my daughter’s life. If I ever got into a relationship, I would want to make sure it works out, and it sticks. I’ve never wanted something or someone so bad in my life that it hurts. I’m just trying to make sure that whatever decision I make is right for my daughter. At this point, I’m not sure what to do. My daughter is comfortable enough with him that I’m considering it, but at the same time, I don’t ever want to lose him as a friend. He means so much to us.
Sounds like you both have a decision to make. Falling for someone you weren’t supposed to is so hard. You either need to be in a relationship or cut all ties so your feelings don’t get hurt in the end.
He’s already in both of your lives… what do you have to lose at this point?
People cross our paths for a reason. Some are lessons learned. Life is too short to be wishy washy. Love is suppose to be healing, not hurtful. You’ve got to follow your heart. Connections of the soul is a very rare thing to have. You already know the answer to this. I know you are both scared but if it’s meant to be, it will be. Good luck!
You started as friends. You have the relationship without the title. I don’t see any harm in it.
You will never know unless you try. Life happens, things change but live for the moment. Sounds like you have both been hurt but also sounds like you both have a special connection. Have a chat to him about all this.
Don’t most people start relationships as friends? Maybe this is something you should discuss with him. You never know he may have feelings as well but due to being hurt maybe he don’t want a title? Communication is key
I feel like you’re already there. You’re already involving him in your lives and there’s already a bond between him and your daughter. At this point, if he wants to be with you, be with him.
Sounds like you already are in a relationship, just don’t want to give it the title.
It sounds like you are already in a relationship without the name. I believe it is best to be with someone you can call your best friend. Makes it deeper than the benefits part.
No relationship is set in stone, I understand your concerns and they are valid, just make sure he’s ready to move forward with the relationship, and is committed to it, of not, then leave things as is, good luck
Well, you basically are already in a relationship without the title. Doesn’t seem like there would be much of a difference. Either way, friends with benefits or a boyfriend, you guys would still be affected if something happened on either end.
Sounds like you are already in a relationship 
…just go with the flow… don’t push him…sounds like he’s very comfortable with you
I was in the same boat 5 yrs ago… We decided we didn’t want a relationship we just wanted fwb… I also had a daughter from a previous relationship that wasn’t great and ended badly… We decided to make it a real relationship and now we are married and expecting our 2nd child together… you never know how it’s going to end up but it could be the best decision you’ve ever made…
I get it you guys are still doing the actions of a couple with out a title and if him and your daughter already have a bond and you guys stop being hurt she is going to be crush either way! Go for what your heart desires!
The best thing to do is become friends before pursuing a relationship. Now is the time to take the next step to partners and show your daughter what real love is.
Does he want you in that way too?
Either you guys want to do it or you don’t. It’s that simple.
I do not recommend you to continue this if you are not going to establish what it is. You will just be hurt and confused and it WILL affect your daughter.
I’ve been in a situationship just like this for 5 years. Do not do it! Spare both you and your daughter the pain if you and him aren’t going to agree to be committed. You’re already doing it, only without the title.
Sound like you’ve already crossed the friend boundary. What are you scared of? He loves you and your daughter… life’s too short xx
You’re already in a relationship lol. Just put the title out 
. Y’all are already in love so why not.
Hate to tell you, but y’all in a relationship whether either or you want to admit it or not.
Move him in and be “room mates” go super slow.
I married my bf after 10 yrs of friendship. We have been married for 20 yrs and raised 4 kids. Love our grandchildren
How does he feel? Does he want more… Or is he content with the “Friends with benefits” situation? That needs to be known before anything.
You should kiss him. Just walk up and kiss him. When your daughter’s not around of course. But that’s how you’ll know.
It sounds like ya’ll already have a relationship. Am I missing something?
I was once in the same position you are. I married my best friend of 5 years about a year ago and it was the best decision I ever made. It’s worth the risk in my opinion!
Either choice you make at this point…if your thinking the worst as in it won’t be long term or work out, you are saying your daughter is already introduced and attached now. So whats the harm in seeing if things can be more permanent so you feel more content with the relationship.
You are already friends so go for it
Do what makes you feel comfortable and makes your daughter feel comfortable do what is right by her and do what is right by you
I have been married to my “friend with benefits” for 16 years we’ve known each other 24 years and have 6 kids between us. His mine and ours. Wouldn’t change that jump for anything in my life. He’s still my best friend. We have problems yeah. But I’m more in love with him now. Then I was when we first started out… Not all love stories end in the fairy tale ending. Sometimes the risk is worth it. I know I felt the same. We raised our kids together as friends first… and then we just evolved… He was always worth the risk. Still is… 
You pick him up from work and he hangs out well with your daughter, sounds like you’re already in a relationship
I’ve been with my friends with benefits 20 yrs this summer. Married 14 yrs with 2 kids. We were fwb for 6 months before we actually acknowledged we were dating 
This is how me and my fiance started out 17vyrs years ago and we r still going strong but we started as friends and built up from there
Buddies for 3 years and have been a couple for 3 1/2 years with a daughter now. We didn’t plan on falling inlove but oh wasn’t it sweet and it still is 
Be honest with your feelings and if it’s meant to be it will be…
Sounds like my relationship it started off just beat friends then friends with benefits them falling in love them bf and gf. In my case the guy did like me for years prior. Now we’re actually dating and in love and now we’re both sad we didn’t date earlier.
You really can’t worry about your daughter’s feelings now… You’ve already introduced them and let them form a bond. Even if you don’t have a relationship, she’ll still be effected if he leaves.
It already sounds serious but If it isn’t serious enough than how will you ever know if you don’t try. He could be the one that does stay but you’ll never know unless you BOTH take that next step. How does he feel? Is he having the same feelings?
Sounds to me like you have a good relationship with him and so does your daughter. You’ve built a good foundation for all of you. Your daughter has a good bond with him so you are doing what is best for her by moving forward with him. Allowing her to see you happy is a wonderful thing. If he treats you both good, don’t let him go. Best wishes
If you keep him as a friend…
You’ll never find your forever guy… because you will be to busy doing stuff for the friend. Either try it out…or stop it…
I’ve been with my friends with benefits for 14 years and 4 kids
Well she’s already attached so no matter what way it gets screwed up she will be affected
Sometimes a title can ruin things but if you to are totally both for it I say go for it and enjoy each other life is short
Sounds like you’re already doing it… Go for it… Be Happy… you can’t predict or protect you or your daughter from Life…
Me and my friends with benefits will be married 14 years this year
Have you talked to him about it to see where he stands? It sounds like you’re both afraid of what’s already happening. Let go and let love happen, one day at a time. No rush…
10 years with my fwb amd so many more to go:) happily married with 3 kids. I love him more and more each day
I married with my sneaky link!!! Our relationship and his with my daughter is similar to yours!! If this is the full story Love is a risk take a chance!
I’m not gonna lie, but I had a super daddy and before it got serious I ended up pregnant. We’ve been together for like 6 years now and have 5 kids together. If it works out it works out. He claims my oldest which isn’t really his, but he loves him as his own and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Girl in life there is no guarantee you better go get your man.
Is he seeing someone else to? Or are you exclusive
This friend with benefits is a bad deal. Why buy the cow when the milks free?
I mean we werent friends with benefits, but when my now husband and I started going on dates I had some major walls up and was terrified of making anything official and then breaking my daughter’s heart. One time I asked him, “What if this doesn’t work out?” And all he said was well what if it does? Married him and we had another baby, and I couldn’t be happier. If you both love each other and you want it to work out, it will!