I recently found out that I am pregnant (my first child is 5) my boyfriend and I recently broke up also. Since I told him he’d been completely making how I feel invalid. I was saying how this couldn’t have happened at the worst time. I get it isn’t the perfect time. But it’s such a blessing. Also, I can’t get him to even see me since I found out and I feel so alone. I have no idea what to do
Girl do you, be a better you. Give that baby more loves than he could ever imagine…
I’m so sorry this is hard. It absolutely is a blessing. You may just be in this on your own, so be ready for that. Good luck mamma
So sorry! Get together with ur family and girlfriends!
Just because you love your baby doesn’t mean he will feel the same. Give him time maybe he will come around. Worry about you and baby that is most important. And your 5 year old of course
Im doing the single and pregnant thing. I gave him months to grow up and show some interest and at times he did but he also just couldn’t stop some of the nonsense that was costing me peace and joy. Im 10 weeks from due with this little girl and its best he just stay gone.
I think you should consider getting some legal advice
Keep up with all the text messages of him saying that and if you’re able, record him. Take it to a lawyer, and they’ll take his rights away. And I understand some people have this stigma with government benefits, but it’s a great assistance program. Plus, he’ll be required to pay child support. Find other support outlets. He is just showing he doesn’t want to be there, and you shouldn’t try forcing him to do so. Find a friend or family member to support you, but don’t reach out to him or his family anymore. You got this!!
My ex left me with my 11 month old and unknowingly 1 month pregnant, didn’t find out until I was 24 weeks. I we t threw it alone and raising both my girls aged almost 2 and 5 month on my own and honestly? I love it. Our bond is absolutely amazing. I’m so much more closed to my children. Some days are hard and some days are lonely but wouldn’t change a thing
As hard as it is- enjoy what you have going for you; the new baby on the way and your 5 yr old. The future is wide open- possibilities are endless! Picture the best version of what you want for yourself (and your kids) in 5 years and then go for it.
You should find out what will make YOU happy. As far as I know we get one life:yellow_heart:
Hit him in the pocket
First off, congrats. Secondly, you can’t use a pregnancy/child to get him to see or talk to you. You broke up for a reason, I’m assuming and I’m sure those reasons are making him not want to see or talk to you. And dont listen to some of these butt hurt ass women, just because he doesnt want to have a relationship with you doesnt mean he doesn’t care about his child or will make for a bad father. He can be excited/happy without telling you or expressing it to you. You’re not together anymore so he doesnt need to consult with you or Express any feelings to you, whatsoever. And if you try to take his rights away like some of these women are saying, you’ll just be a shitty ass person that’s being petty bc he doesnt want to talk to you lol
Not much to do. If you choose to keep the baby then take in the fact that he may or may not be there. Try to see the bright side of it all and that’s a precious baby and I’m sure your oldest would be excited to help with the baby. Break ups aren’t easy especially with babies in tow but you are strong enough to do this
Better to struggle and do it on your own then taking some one along for the ride that does not want to be there
He doesn’t have to parent. He may pay support but you can’t make him love or want a child. Tough, but a lesson I learned.
Make the decision 100 percent on your own- do what you want with the expectation you won’t see him again
I’m pregnant with our second and he’s no where , girl ! I’m in the same boat, but you can’t force someone to be there if they don’t want to, so I picked myself up and doing what’s best for my kids, and his POS ass doesn’t get to come around when it’s convenient for him. You CAN and WILL get through this. It gets lonely but I rather take this loneliness then feel invalid and constantly be put down
I would be happy raising kids alone…men suck and had two exs that just got up and walked away without looking back. In the end i was better off without them and raising them on my own. Now that they are going through it… they are strong and able to know they can to
I’m sorry this is hard. My advice is to put you and your babies first. Surround yourself with family and friends who love you
Yep…pregnant with twins and dude wants nothing to do with me or the babies. We are better off without him in my opinion and his loss…
Do not force him, you will only hurt yourself when he pushes back. Just focus on yourself and baby and the child you already have and if he reaches out then let him be involved and if not honestly his loss. I went through that with my oldest sons father and the only regret I have is I wish I would have stopped trying so hard to keep him involved when he didn’t want to be. I only made my pregnancy and the first year of my sons life (then I finally let go) miserable for myself and something that aches to think back on. I so wish I would have not been so worried about him and just focused on myself and baby but I can’t change it now, but you can for yourself <3
It took me until my daughter was 3 to finally give up on her biological father. A year later I met the love of my life and who she sees as her real dad. If he doesn’t want to be around it’s not worth the stress to try and make him. Just let him be, maybe he’ll come around, maybe he won’t.
FORGET THAT MAN! If hes going to treat the situation as a burden now, he will later. Get together with a good friend/ family and dont sweat his involvement. - keep him updated, he MIGHT come around to the idea and it’s his kid- but don’t expect much from him
Sue him for child support should wake him up unless the child isn’t his.
You’re broken up. He isn’t obligated to come see you. Let him go. Focus on healthy coparenting.
Let him walk away. Update him about the pregnancy with important stuff, let him know appointment dates and times if you’d like him to go, let him know when you go in to labor if you want him there but definitely let him know when it’s born, etc. but don’t push him being involved. Treat it like a business relationship.
Being the bigger person and leaving room for him to be involved makes you look good for later when the courts need to get involved. File immediately after it’s born for custody/parenting plan and child support. Don’t let him talk you out of it. It’s what’s best for the child. It protects them.
Also, document everything! Every time you send him info, what he responds with if he responds, and if he shows up.
Agree on 50 50 custody and dont let your bad experience cause any hatred towards the father. No amount of child support payments can replace a healthy relationship between a child and father.
Let him go. You will be doing this without him
Just move on. You don’t need a man to raise a child
Contact a lawyer, having a baby at a hospital isn’t free. Get his attention now, but always be nice and keep him in the loop.
Leave him out of it if he doesn’t want the child. You’ll save that baby a lot of tears.
In the same situation. The way k see it is if I’m keeping it and he doesn’t wanna be involved then that’s that. I’m not gonna make him If you choose to have the kid you can’t make him be involved. Blessing is not how I’m looking at it. I have a 5 yrs old as well. This is just more responsibilities for me myself and I. I’ll be more careful who I lay with.
Let him know your pregnant then go live your life till child support time
If he doesn’t want to see you leave him alone …Know your worth fix your crown an keep moving forward
Unfortunately you’ll just have to leave him alone it sounds like he has zero interest in being a father
Let him go if he dont want to see you you cant make him when the baby is born give him the opportunity to be a dad if he dont want to be then his loss
Move On and make sure he pays up when it’s time
Fuck him. You have two kids to worry about now and no energy to waste on him. Make sure he knows about the pregnancy if he is safe to know and move on with your life and your kid’s lives as hard as it is. Look for resources for single mothers in your area and go from there. Ask family and friends for support if they will help. Child support is up to you completely but the money would help the way I see it.
Kids are a blessing. We as woman are so strong, and can “mama bear up” you can’t control him, if he doesn’t want to be around that’s on him. Do you! Keep your head up and stand strong. Since you have a 5 year old who I’m sure thinks your nothing less of a superhero. Stay in your own lane and move on.
Let him be. You will find out later on down the road how much better you and baby are without him. Trust me— this could be God saving your from a future headache.
Just because he doesn’t want to be with you doesn’t make him a bad Dad. You do you. Keep him updated about important ob visits (most offices aren’t allowing visitors right now anyway.) But just talk to him about the baby. Keep a good co-parenting relationship. When baby comes of he doesn’t step up then that’s a whole different issue. But he doesn’t need to be with you to be a good father.
First things first, let go of trying to get him to come see you. For what? For why? For how? No. As long as you put any decisions in his hands, you are also putting your feelings in his hands. Now you’re hurt because he said no. The decision is yours. He’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated so he does not get the honor of being in your presence. You already have a child, so you know you can do this. You don’t need him. It would be nice. It would be ideal. But he’s not interested in the ideal lifestyle so save yourself for someone you can share that with.
Buck up, buttercup. You aren’t alone, you have one little one counting on you, and another on the way.
Set personal goals, and strive to attain them. Whatever that goal looks like, setting up a baby room, getting a raise, gaining a skill, etc etc.
Ignore the man that is already not showing interest. It will just break your heart. Strengthen yourself.
I got this piece of advice when my son was young & it stuck with me forever…
At the end of the day, when you make the courageous Choice to keep the baby, you also need to know that you very likely could be raising the child by yourself. These men are raised by man children these days and you cannot expect a fish to climb a tree sometimes. Everything is up to you at the very end of the day and when you take that knowledge into consideration and leave him out of it, you will become far more mentally powerful on the back end & that baby will grow to know the truth.
It’s hard going through pregnancy alone. I was 18 weeks when I left my husband. Fortunately I had my family and friends and my older kids there for me. They helped, someone to go to doc appointments with and he still hasn’t met his daughter and she is 13 months old. I send pictures and sometimes he face times. Best of luck to you.
Decision making time.
You nor a baby can force another person to be a part of your life. With that being said, make sure you hit him with child support bc he is also responsible for this baby regardless of his pretending neither of you exist. You are a strong woman and right now things are hard for you but there has to be a reason you guys broke up so don’t force that to be your life.
A baby wont make him stay or be with you at all. Either accept that your probably going to do this alone or explore other options.
Sometimes the worst boyfriend can be the best dad. When y’all ended his responsibility to you was over but don’t pass judgement until you’ve given him a chance to be a father. It’s not his job be there for you but see if he is there for your child. Keep him updated through the pregnancy but don’t expect a man you’re not in a relationship with to be your emotional support.
I’m 23 weeks today my husband and I are getting divorced. It’s hard. But in the end you will be blessed. Hang tough.
He doesn’t have to be with you to be a good dad. Baby isn’t even here yet
I’d give it time and see how he father’s once baby is born
He’s worthless, move on
He isn’t worth it anyway his loss focus on your life n bettering it for you n you’re baby
Why does he need to see you? When his child comes if he wants to be apart of his/her life he will. If not, you are both better off without him. What’s he worth if you gotta beg him to be around? NOTTA.
The week I found out I was pregnant, I found out dude had 2 warrants for his arrest. It has been hard but it has been worth it 100 times over. This little girl was the gift that I never asked for but was better than I could have imagined. I started a group called Single Parent Sanityon fb and we encourage each other and we won’t let each other quit.
this is a really weird time right now - but chin up! you’ve got this i wouldn’t try to force anything with the ex, if he’s not interested he’s not interested. forcing it will lead to resentment down the line. pull up your socks and enjoy the pregnancy
Well, just wait it out… he’s obviously just worried and scared atm… being his first he isn’t sure about the whole thing… most guys come around in the end