Gather the evidence quick!!!Screen shot/photograph/etc. evidence of everything he did, and keep copies in several safe places (preferably where he doesn’t have access, like friend’s houses, your workplace, family).
Do you have any joint accounts? Get bank statements ASAP with totals and withdraw your half immediately. Does he have access to any other assets of yours? A car? A loan? Do the same. Whose name is on the lease or mortgage? What happens if you move out? What happens if he does?
Talk to a lawyer and social worker about child support garnished from his wages, and other services for single moms. Ask about laws in your state, though as you’re not married it makes some things easier and others harder. I assume he is on the birth certificate. Find out what documents, evidence, etc. could help you in court and get your hands on them ASAP, make copies, and put sets in safe places.
Get in touch with a women’s center and get all the info, education and support you can from them. Some things you have to be fast before he erases his tracks, skips town, or whatever. Do you have info on his family and friends? Get their info now if you don’t have it. Other things you can take your time doing. They can also provide excellent safety tips for you and your daughter. Discuss pros & cons of sole vs. joint custody. Do you think he’ll abandon his daughter or see her only infrequently? Might be good to cut him out of your lives entirely if he’d only show up now and then, which would mess with your daughter worse.
If you have any access to counseling/therapy through an EAP, medical plan, mental health hotline, take advantage of it. Your happily ever after just got crushed, and depending on the age of your daughter, she will be upset and confused too—even if she’s only 2. Take care of both of your emotional needs with professional help.
Lean on your family and friends, religion and community. It’s going to be a rocky time for a while, but you can do it. Do NOT jump into another relationship until you are completely independent and reasonably content again, possibly several years.
Deep breaths, hot baths, light scented candles, take walks (with stroller), have a glass of wine (just one on occasion though), talk to friends near and far on the phone/online, enjoy art—it can be cathartic, distracting, or change your mood/perspective. Online gallery tours, plays, opera, concerts, books, can often speak to you. But don’t go as far as Medea! (Greek tragedy, not Madea)
See if there’s a support group for single moms—many have been in your shoes. Vent to the women on here, punch a pillow, do yoga or tai chi. I recommend You Tube video of “Tai Chi Ch’ih: Joy Through Movement.” It calms me down, helps banish negative thoughts, regulates my heart rate and blood pressure, and keeps me fit. It’s easy to do and easy to follow. Your daughter might even enjoy trying to imitate you.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: look at and enjoy the miracle that is your daughter and love her and care for her. Try not to be too upset in front of her, and keep her busy with fun things. Plan to always be able to support yourself without a man so you never have to worry about depending on one. Once you are able to think clearly, put together a one and six month plan, a one-, five- and 10-year plan for your and your child’s future. Then make it happen!
The shock will wear off & you will go through the stages of grief. Use any negative energy to power through the research, paperwork and planning.
Actually sounds like you dodged a bullet with this scumbag. Get checked for STDs and no more sex with him. I hear vibrators have come a long way if you need. Good luck. We’re all rooting for your success!