If it’s something you cant let go of then its probably best the relationship ends other wise it will continue to cause problems throughout
Been there. You can message me if youd like.
You get ONE. LIFE. leave and spend it with some who deserves you!
When someone cheats it has nothing to do with U. It is not your fault ever. It’s his fault he is a cheater, u should never take the blame for someone’s nastiness!!!
Leave leave leave. Use all strength you have and get away. From one victim to another.
Dont ket him convience you its your fault .Its not a marriage anymore when your cheating. Your being codependent. Go to marriage counceling to decude if you can live with finding out he cheated. (He probably will again) if you xant divorse and break all tues except him seeing the child dont look back when you leave. . Some cgeat sone dont. Save yourself for one that dosent tell him read marriage vows.
Get out!! Hes not sorry… And will continue to throw things in your face
My husband did and said the same to me. If he is truly remorseful, he’d become an open book for you. He wouldn’t make it your fault or deflect responsibility. But, a narcissist would. A narcissist will not only make it ALL your fault, they’ll try and make you the one with the problem. It took me 10 years, and 2 more affairs to finally stop being scare to leave, and left. No one should be anyone’s door mat. At that point, I was willing to live in a box under an overpass to get away from him, his lies, his disrespect, his games and his arrogance. I get angry at times because I do miss being married and how we were in the beginning. I do not miss what he has become. You think you know someone and then, WHAM, the magnitude of an affair sucks the life out of you. I’m slowly getting my life back. If you are considering divorce, there’s a group program that helped me tremendously. It’s called Divorce Care and I took it through my church. I’d look into that. Please don’t sell yourself short by thinking you can’t live without him and/or being on your own. Thinking that way kept me in a personal hell for 10 years!
Once trust is gone it’s gone. Good luck girl.
My advice… don’t get advice on Facebook, go to a preacher
Things will never be the same. You choose how you want to live YOUR life… How much longer are you gonna waste time on this?
Once they cheat, they’ll do it again. People will tell you that people can change, you can work it out. Nope. The relationship will never be the same. At that point, I’d be done. It’s hard to let go of someone you love, but in order to truly care for yourself and your child, you have to have respect yourself. That means if someone doesnt respect you, BYE!
You need a professional help not facebook
Well if his reaction was “why don’t you just leave me then”. It clearly states he doesn’t want to work on the marriage & wants to move on. So girl divorce him. He went the shitty way about it but now you have an easy case for divorce. You do deserve better. He wants to be a bachelor sounds like he only cares about himself. Don’t put yourself through hell and don’t blame yourself. Just move on and leave with your kid.
No lie literally going thru almost the same thing my so cheated on me as well and I try letting it because I do love him and we have a baby together and he also calls my other kids his so basically we have 3 kids together. What he did is also at the back of my mind but I want to try and work with him because I dont want to let go…if you want you can message me.
I have recently came across a story about a woman who is with her husband that cheated. Difference is he was sorry had remorse and worked with his wife. It is no ones fault but his own. If hes not willing to change or go to counseling then it might be time to move on. Its fresh and new to you. No one can make this decision for you but you. Is it worth or will he work passed this or is it time to move on. No one is in your relationship but you and him.
Leave his ass and don’t look back
Personally I would leave him! Make a new life plan and move on from him! He’s not even remorseful so he definitely doesn’t deserve you or your forgiveness! Once the trust is broken it’s never the same again. You can try and move past it but chances are you are never going too be able to move past it emotionally and it’s always going to be in the back of your mind and that’s ultimately going to ruin and effect your relationship. Sorry that this happened to you and that you are going through this nobody ever deserves to be cheated on and treated in this way. Hope you make the right decision and move on for your own happiness and your child’s happiness because your child’s going to pick up on your unhappiness and that’s not good either!
And he will keep doing it. Save yourself!
When someone cheats it’s strictly to benefit them! He’s telling you to go and showing you. You got one life sister. File for divorce or go to counseling.
Leave. If he does it once he’ll do it again.
BTDT. Kick him to the curb. I wasted way too many years on a cheater. Don’t be me
He said “if you know then why dont you leave me”… That’s all you should have needed right there…
He will cheat again, if he is blaming you instead of being a man and taking responsibility
If he was showing remorse then I’d say try to work it out, but it doesn’t sound like he is. I would leave!
My exhole cheated on me with a crack head…tried to blame me and it almost worked and had me thinking it was my fault. But a true friend helped me see that he was narcissist and that i needed to be done. Like a lot of people have said you need to get out. Build/find a support system and move on with your life, yours and your childs life will be so much better. Best of luck
U should do what u feel is right for you . And time will tell just take it one day at a time eventually you figure it out .
He’s already checked out. Move on and find someone who will value you the way you should be. Been through this, on the day my child was born. I promise you that while it hurts right now, eventually things will get better. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your kiddo.
You can do better love. You deserve better.
If they’ll do it once they’ll do it again. Been there, done that, got the divorce papers.
People cheat for different reasons find the sorse and try to work it out
People make mistakes. If it was a relationship I’d say leave. But you’re married. It’s going to take time to be able to forgive him and you will never forget it but if you love him and cherish your marriage, take some time for yourself and try when you’re ready to mend things
id be so pissed and I don’t think I’d ever be able to let that go, that’s a deal breaker for sure for me but:woman_shrugging:t2:
He obviously doesn’t love you enough to stay committed to you and be the man he was supposed to be… He ruined that and he will do it again… I would walk away ,he’s not worth staying
Leave. It sounds like he is pushing you away. And that is on purpose, definetly leave. He is not showing any remorse by what you wrote. You deserve better
Him saying so why don’t you leave me is basically saying I gave you what you need to leave so go because I don’t wanna be the bad guy for walking out but now that he knows you’ll stay he’s going to keep doing it.
Honestly it sounds like he wanted you to leave so he could blame you. You are NOT responsible for HIS actions. A part of him may love you but may not be in love with you. Truthfully if he isn’t sorry it is trying to make it to be your fault then it’s time to leave as hard as that is.
I have so many questions???OK Woah… that was his reaction to you confronting him, to tell you to leave?? He didn’t even try to say sorry or explain himself (not that he could)???
Is it over with this chick?
Was it a relationship or a one night stand?
How long have they been texting/seeing each other?
Does she know he is married?
How does he know this chick?
Did he stop seeing/texting/talking to this chick?
Is whatever it was over with them?
Would the cheating/affair of continued if you hadn’t found out?
If he couldn’t even try to tell you he was sorry or regretful or come up with some shitty lame excuse… that’s says it all… you have to leave him! He didn’t even care enough to come up with something to say to you!
And Really… can you ever trust him again? Are you constantly going to be waiting for it to happen again? And do you want to live with the shitty feeling??
1st- it doesn’t matter if the mistress is pretty or not. That has nothing to do with you and who you are as a person. Pay no mind to those details.
2- if it’s killing you inside, then it is. And that’s ok too. BUT it’s not ok to live like that.
3- If there is a blame game, then he’s not truly sorry. An apology doesn’t come coupled with blame, or else it isn’t real.
4- say your goodbyes and find yourself; be happy FOR yourself.
He’s wanting you to leave first ,so he can blame this on you
If he seemed to feel bad or trying to make thinks work, fighting for it more, I’d say give him a chance, but based on what you are telling us, I’d say let him go and find someone who truly cares about you!!
If he’s blaming you and saying “why don’t you leave”- I’m pretty sure he’s paving the road to divorce for you in gold and you’re not catching on.
If he doesnt seem to care how bad you are hurting or is showing no remorse, he is just going to continue to cheat. Your best bet is to go
I’m a black & white type person so don’t take my bluntness personal, but you need to leave him. Even if he didn’t cheat you sound unhappy. You both deserve happiness. Your child(ren) deserve to be in a happy and healthy environment. No one should ever have to question their worth in a marriage or any relationship.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Sounds like you already know the answer
Looks mean nothing. He wants you to leave him … so do it. Sorry your going through this. My heart hurts for you but you’ll be much happier with someone else
Honestly this man does not love himself or anyone else - his words alone proved that. The question is do you want your son raised in this type of environment showing that woman are doormats to walk over and treat like crap and watching his mother be treated that way and thinking it will be ok when he is older to treat the one he loves that way…I pray not…YOU and YOUR SON deserve so much more than this. Raise your head and walk away with your child and let him figure out what he just lost and never look back.
Once a cheater Always a cheater. If he gets away with it this time, it will be easier next time!
If he’s saying leave. Than leave he doesn’t care anymore. Just leave I know it will be a hard start at first but after a while you will heal and no longer hurt.
No one can tell you what to do here… Unfortunately this is up to you, if you can’t move past this and forgive him then leave him and move on. But if you stay and resent your choice it could cause more pain…
Do not get pregnant!! Cheaters will lie and lie to cover up the fact that they are cheaters!!!
Wake up! Leave him now!
He didn’t cheat on you because you weren’t pretty enough. Please don’t compare yourself to her especially if she knew that he was married. Another thing is if he is not taken any responsibility for it then he doesn’t care there is no reason at all to ever cheat on anyone! I’ve heard people say I cheated because he cheated that’s not an excuse either
My husband cheated on me shortly before we got pregnant. We had been together since teenagers and where married for a year at this point. He felt so guilty about it that he actually told me about it right away and was truly sorry. I chose to forgive him and we where able to work through it and he has not even attempted to do anything with anyone else since. It’s been about 10 years since it happened and we have a 9 year old and another on the way. I still get this twinge of resentment when I think about it or her, but it’s not often anymore and he had no contact with her since then. We have learned to be more open to each other and communicate better than we did before. Also for my case it was a one time thing and he wasn’t having a full on affair and felt bad right away. He also understands that I only forgive once and if it was to ever happen again that’s it and he loses everything. So while it is possible to work through it, which definitely takes a lot of time, he has to be the one that wants to work things out and it definitely sounds like he may not be intrested. However that said no one on here knows why he did it, but him. You need to have a heart to heart talk about it with him and find out how he truly feels and if it’s something you can work through. Even though my husband and I had a good outcome there are people like my dad who cheat multiple times because they like the thrill. I was rather happy when my parents finally divorced because he wouldn’t stop cheating on my mom and I understood that was the best for my mom and us to not watch my mom go through it.
Im sorry but I won’t take any of it I would kick him out fast and go straight to the court house and get everything he doesn’t care about you or your family your never gonna be the same it’s not going to just go away even if she was pretty love yourself more to know your worth check out and fast you can find a other man there are more men
He’s a crappy husband by reading your post.
He’s looking for a way out “why don’t you leave me if you know”, wow you also wrote it happened and he blames you.
You need to leave that immature excuse of a man.
He’s torn you apart and doesn’t respect your marriage or family unit.
Don’t mind the other woman is not pretty, her heart is shit if she laid with your husband.
Move on. New year, new you
Ummm he puts a lot of blame on you and seem very manipulative… dude cheated YOUR HUSBAND CHEATED… BYE
Listen, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. He’s mad because he got caught, not because he actually did it. If you think therapy would help you can try that, but chances are he will cheat again, especially if his response is to blame you for why he cheated. Best thing you can do is seek therapy for yourself and start making a plan of action to leave and move on…or stay and be heartbroken
If he fell for a other woman he was never really in love with you in the first place. Leave him. He’ll be sorry when it doesnt work out with the other woman and by then hopefully you’ll have moved on and be happy.
Sis… if a man says to u to leave, u need to listen! Ppl let us know exactly how they feel, we just choose not to listen!
If he is telling you to leave then he honestly doesnt care about the relationship…and blaming you is classic narcissist behavior
No way should a baby be thought of right now. What slime. Honestly…its ur life and if u wish to try, counseling is for sure needed. If it was me, I would leave.
Get rid of his cheating a$$
Don’t just walk away from your marriage------RUN! It only gets worse and you’ll only get old. Boi, Bye!
Get out. Leave him. I made the mistake of staying with mine for 8yrs after the affair. 10/10 do NOT reccomend.
Time for you to move on
My husband of 16 years had an affair with a coworker. He said he wanted to make it work with us. Went to counseling and everything. But continued to see her on the side. After 6 months of living in hell, I left and never looked back. You could possibly get past it, but it will never go away. His betrayal will hang over you for the rest of your life. And personally, I couldn’t live that way. I left. Thank god I did! Good luck to you.
You’re ALWAYS going to be questioning what he’s up to… that’s no way to live.
I’m sorry I divorced after 12 years for cheating cheating is not a mistake on time everything he do will be question if you forgive and move on you cnat bring it up ever again because tht you truly haven’t forgiven him I couldn’t live wondering the what if sorry this happen to you but I promise you it will hurt Ike hell but as the months go by it will get easier
On top he blaming you that a MAJOr no
Why don’t you leave?
Don’t expect immediate anything. Gonna take time and commitment from you both. Try to save the marriage.
You sound like you know what to do…
U nd to get rid of him he will do it again
I’m so sorry try some couple counseling, and maybe separate… it’s so hard to get over this stuff and forgive. And you’ll never forget it. It doesn’t seem like he’s caring the way he should. I suggest the couples counseling as a last effort to repair damage done as well as to help you both continue on as parents together.
Going through something similar but he went home with someone when he went out with friends. I made him look me in the eye and tell me. I asked lots of questions and wanted the details. I needed to see his eyes while he looked me in the eye and had to watch me hear it all. I wanted to feel whatever it was going to mame me feel before i made my decision. We have been going to therapy and doing the things she suggests but i think the biggest thing is talking. Regularly. If he truely wants to be with you and be faithful to you, hes going to have to understand that now YOU have to live with that pain and hes going to have to be supportive through it whether hes uncomfortable talking about it or not. If im feeling insecure i just say it. He needs to understand that you are hurt and deal with it daily and he needs to go above and beyond to prove to you that hes committed. Id recommend a therapist but also if hes not willing to do what you need to feel secure, he doesnt regret it and it will happen again. Look at his response and decide to stay committed to him or leave.
He wants out… his own words “If you know why don’t you leave me” &
“It doesn’t feel the same” there’s your answer men are hunters & direct by nature, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy he’s waiting for you to leave him!
Maybe it’s time too move on talk to him how you feel bout it and he’s blaming you that’s just not right i think it’s time to move on from him
Kick his ass out ! CYA!
Don’t settle for anything less than what you know you deserve … he thinks grass is greener let him go back to her
He shows no remorse… You should leave…
First things first. Do you want to be in this relationship. Is it worth salvaging? What I really hate about a man being unfaithful is that the woman carries the burden. Back in the days, the wife was shamed for divorcing. Now staying in your marriage is the new shame that we must carry because people assume and encourage you to pick up your belongings and simply leave. Forget the years you’ve invested into your marriage, your home, your children, you are labeled the fool, but you are not. Right now sit tight and really let it sink in that your husband cheated. Every woman is different as to how they will react in different types of situations. An example is, for me, I am slow to anger. I immediately want everything to go back to normal, I dread the changes that I know need to happen and I want to sweep everything under the rug because that is my coping mechanism. I then pick the situation apart and either rationalize, compromise, or simply decide is this worth the battle or should I walk away. Take time to think about what it is you want to happen. It’s so recent that you can not let go nor should you. You’re salvaging of your relationship will for the most part depend on him, if he will give you space, be patient, admit to his wrong doings, take whatever you throw at him( not literally) and finally accept your terms in staying with him. But once you decide to stay, you are essentially saying that you forgive him (not forget) and you will attempt to move forward with your relationship. You cannot throw it in his face or continuously use it against him or you both will be miserable. If that’s the case, you should definitely walk away, not only for your mental sanity but also your child who is also innocent in all of this. So take your time and decide what you would like to do. Men love attention. It doesn’t matter if the other woman is unattractive or not, they are only allowing each other to see their best side. We all know that it’s fake. He knows what he is about to lose, the decision is totally in tour hands.
He has no remorse, he doesn’t care that it hurt u , so no matter how much u stay he will continue to cheat on u , if u stay you have to except that and the pain that comes with it , the best thing u could ever do is leave , you can do better know your worth and leave
He is blaming you for his behavior, classic narcissistic behavior
If he cheats, he may give you a very big surprise that you will remember for the rest of your life!
I’d get rid of him. Once a cheat always a cheat hun x
I left when I caught the other woman coming out of OUR bedroom in nothing. And she didn’t physically compare to me either. I never regretted distancing myself. I let him try to come back years after. Ended up with a restraining order on him for threatening to kill me because I found out she was still with him. The fault is in the man cheating and disresepcting his vows. Not you. Not her. I felt for the other woman when I found out he was inviting prostitutes into their home in front of their children but not my circus or monkeys. I moved on to better and I’m grateful I did. Everyone’s story is different. It is harder when children are involved but if you Can’t you Can’t. With it being so raw maybe a trial separation would be a possibility?
I think people can make horrible mistakes and recover but that said, there needs to be a willingness to try and communicate.
He is not remorseful. He doesn’t care. He will do it again.
Sorry you had to find out this way but I would say this guy should not be pursued further and is bad news.
My husband cheated on me 4 different times and I took him back but the 5th time was the last time and he blamed me each time don’t wait for it to happen again once a cheater always a cheater
Girl I 100% understand. Just leave him if you can’t get over it I’m in the same situation I can’t seem to get over it and it really sucks if you need some support my inbox is open … to me if you’re gonna be miserable might as well leave.
I always say " once a cheater, always a cheater"
This happened to me when my sons were 1 and 5 . He left for the woman next door . I couldn’t forget and we divorced . It was so traumatic for all of us . My kids were never the same and are grown and don’t have a relationship with him . They couldn’t get past what he did to me . The boys are now 31 and 27 . I think we could have possible worked it out but I wouldn’t have ever trusted him
Again . I have an amazing, godly husband now whom I wouldn’t trade for anything ! I wish you luck making the decision that ONLY YOU can make .
He blames you?! Nah, I’d leave. Hes not even sorry… hell just do it again
Do not put up with that (S)
Once a cheater always a cheater
Leave him…you deserve better
I dont believe in the once a cheater always a cheater it’s not always the case everyone makes mistakes some bigger than others… but him blaming you and not feeling bad is a bad sign
Cheating = divorce. End of story
Once a cheater always a cheater!! Get a divorce now !! Not another child!! Wake up and smell the ass hole!!
Cheating is the ultimate betrayal…if u stay you will never be able to trust him again…I would cut my losses and tell him to get out that your lawyer will be in touch
He is blaming you for his behaviour and I’d leave him with the way he lacks respect for you. in my opinion he would need some big changes. But he seems to not care and he’s too comfortable with doing what he wants. I don’t like it personally. I wouldn’t want that.