Trust issues big time.
I say. It shouldn’t be a problem if you are being faithful
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For me, there is no moving on from that. That’s over the top creepy. The fact that he’s not even a tad bit sorry and doesn’t care that he did it speaks volumes. You deserve to be respected, and this is far from respect.
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I personally think he is using it as a cover up for himself. Maybe trying to find something in your messages to use as an excuse to break up the family and blame you. He now sees you are upset about it so now he has a reason to say you broke up the famiky.
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Holy crap! That’s extremely creepy
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If you have nothing to hide, why are you getting upset over it. It’s your husband. …
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Usally… when they assume its usually them who are keeping dirty secrets 
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I think he needs therapy of some kind to figure out what is wrong and I believe couples counseling for you both. I mean sometimes that can mean he is trying to find an excuse to break up or he has something to hide, but that’s not always the case. Honestly communication, and therapy for you both will be the best bet for you to move forward for you both.
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My ex use to do that, turns out he was cheating on me and wanted to have something to get mad at me for so he could leave and not be the bad person. He never found anything on my stuff because there was nothing to find. I actually started getting concerned because he was checking my stuff so much. A girl I worked with said ya know the guilty dog barks first. So I stared watching him a little and I actually cought him with a girl in hos car amd he had his head laying in her lap while she was stoking his hair. He couldn’t get out of that, he knew he had been caught then told me it was my fault because I didn’t trust him. I just stood there like, really what are you talking about. You were the one who was checking my stuff, all I did was pay a little more attention to what you were doing. I didn’t have to Snoop to find anything.
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I would definitely feel violated and be super upset. It is one thing to allow someone to have full access, but to be sneaky and then lie about it isn’t right.
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Does he allow you to search his phone?
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That’s controlling and abusive. Dude has trust issues if even after you have nothing going on he still does it. Does he allow you to search his phone?
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He might have some guilt for something he has or is doing
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I don’t understand issue. You said you’ve got nothing to hide so why do you care?
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Maybe he is the one cheating
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If you’re not hiding or doing anything wrong then why are u so upset he went through it?
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He’s obsessed and needs a different hobby and professional help.
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I suggest marriage counseling. He needs a third party to step in and allow him to figure out why he is so insecure.
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Very creepy i would be upset as well like if ny husband asks for my phone i hand it to him just like he would me we dont go through each others messages we have shown each other messages but idk that seems over the top
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There’s something wrong with him and he needs professional help. Either obsessed, like a previous poster stated, or has some severe confidence issues.
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All of you ok with what he is doing are fuckin psychos, just like he is 
It’s not a deal breaker. I really don’t think he did anything wrong either. I myself am an open book. My husband can go through anything of mine with or without my knowledge and I him. I don’t get your being offended.
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lol why are you hiding something hahaha you should delete everything thats old. why keep them? im sorry but if you cant trust ur husband to go through ur personal stuff you are in the wrong. u should be able to go into his and his to yours. Though why would he look at past stuff lol kinda weird, like why…hahaha maybe he was seeing while u were dating if you were cheating on him or something. maybe talk to him how awkward u felt and how you both should be 100% honest with each other.
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My husband can go through my phone anytime he wants and sometimes he tells me other times he don’t I have nothing to hide and I don’t care nor do I see a problem
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to those saying you had nothing to hide why are you mad… she never cheated she never did anything to break his trust… shes not his child she is his wife… i dont think she would be as pissed if it was a general glance threw or even a search now and then this is consistant it feels violating… it feels like shit knowing he doesnt trust you when youve done NOTHING… its not a now and then thing its a constant over the years… a relationship needs trust and he has none which means its basically a one sided relationship and now hes gas lighting her for his fuck up… think about how youd feel after years of your spouse not trusting you
Insecurity and jealousy are toxic traits but wouldnt be a deal breaker for me.id help him to build trust seek help and keep going.
What’s the problem?. If you don’t have anything to hide. Yall are supposed to be one. Not separate
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Not to sound rude but I could give two shits if my husband goes through my phone. I have nothing to hide and vise versa with my husband. I guess I just dont see the point of tearing a family apart cause he looked through your phone. Sorry but what’s the big deal?
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Coming from a different perspective, once you become insecure you can become absolutely obsessed with going through your partner’s information. Maybe he’s been cheated on in the past? And he feels like things are too good to be true? I have honestly done the same with my husband, not as a obsessively but once you get started it’s hard to stop. It really becomes part of your everyday habits. It is super unhealthy, and that means that there are underlying issues of his own. But it’s not worth breaking up the family for. If anything that will cause some more trust issues for him in the future. But that also gives you trust issues as well. I would change all your information. Now that he has long-term proof of you not doing anything fishy, he needs to respect your privacy.
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He sounds guilty, I’d ask to go through his phone, see how he responds.
I dont mind if my husband goes through my phone, we have full access to each others, because neither of us are hiding anything.
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Sit down and talk to him. There are trust issues not being addressed
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I did this to my husband, embarrassed yes, but I did. I did it because I was insecure for awhile. I left everything i had to be with him and felt like my world was surrounded by him. For some reason this insecure part of me felt like I needed to “know everything”. Thankfully there was nothing to know that we hadn’t shared with each other. Feeling stupid and childish I stopped. It is stupid and i do trust him, just a childish thing I did to ease some ignorant feeling i held on to due to MY past experiences. We’ve been married two years and happy as ever. Hopefully this doesn’t continue but give him the benefit of the doubt and communicate with him.
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He needs therapy bc that’s not normal.
My husband can che k my phone but I tell him everything anyway. He doesn’t need to check. I can check his too. But I don’t feel the need to do so.
I’d lock everything. Change all passwords to something he can’t figure out. Use symbols and everything. Lock your phone. If you can change your email, change it. Log out of everything as you get done. Keep your history cleared and deleted. .
Turn abt is fair play.
I’m not sure I could come back from that. That’s not only personally violating privacy, it’s creepy af.
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Sounds like he’s up to something or he’s got something to hide. Ask to see his …
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Girl this is petty. Unless you trying to hide which obviously your not so what’s the deal? You have a right to be upset a tiny bit because you feel like he don’t trust you but to break up a family over him reading some messages? What you trying to be sneaky about?
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He is probably cheating. Cheating usually leads to guilt which would cause them to look for something to blame you for so he doesn’t feel bad. Tell him to let you go through all of his emails, facebook, text messages and check all his apps i bet you find something.
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I used to obsessively look through my husbands phone and email just like this… but at the time we were having a lot of problems and my trust issues were uncontrollable at this point. I really couldn’t help it, I NEEDED to see every single thing he said or looked up. Every call and text and google search.
Over the last year we’ve both really worked on everything and our relationship is amazing now. I do still want to look through his stuff sometimes but I think it’s almost like a relapse for me and I’m not as crazy or in depth about it like I was. But he never cares because he has nothing to hide. You shouldn’t care that much either if you’re not doing anything wrong.
Jeez boundaries…just because your married doesn’t mean you can’t have privacy you already have no locks on your phone and computer he can look when he wants, but why is he going back years and looking for keywords? He’s really trying to catch you out, as people have said above he could be cheating on you he’s looking for a way out.
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If you have nothing to hide then there’s no reason to get upset. My husband and I both have complete access to each others phone, facebook, emails etc. The only time he says no to me going through his phone is if he’s trying to surprise me. We still have our privacy.
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I would ask to go through all of his stuff, see what he says. May have a guilty conscience!
Sounds like he may be the one talking to someone else…this is what guilty people do
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He is insecure. I would not let it bother me. Tell him he can go through your stuff anytime he wants. He will probably stop after that.
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It’s almost like he wants to catch you doing something… maybe he has a guilty conscience.
I think y’all are missing the point… he didn’t only do all that…he turned on her location tracker…he went from snooping…to full on stalking. Overly jealous and insecure and borderline dangerous and crazy.
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My husband can check anything he wants. I don’t have anything to hide.
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If you have nothing to hide why hide it
He might need to 
maybe something happened in his past and he needs the reassurance… I never went thru my ex husbands phone and then one day it started going off w a strange contact name that’s how I discovered him cheating. Got divorced found a new guy didn’t go thru his phone until stories stopped lining up. Looked thru his phone found out he was an addict. Nowww you sneeze funny I’m going thru your phone later 
it’s a security thing for me. I know it’s bad but when you’re together there shouldn’t be anything to hide. Have a talk get some counseling but it shouldn’t be a deal breaker.
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I had nothing to hide from my x. He had a thumb print for my phone, and codes. I wasn’t granted the same courtesy.
He cheated.
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He’s cheating and because he’s cheating he knows where to look to find evidence. Because he’s cheating he’s mistrustful and thinks you might be cheating too. Im sure of it because he’s never found anything but still keeps checking. You both need help separately and together if you choose to work it out.
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My husband can go thru my phone all he wants…but don’t GPS stalk my ass I’m running for the hills at that point…changing my number and getting a whole new phone fuck all that shit
Yay idc about anyone going thru my phone like anyone but I have nothing to hide from anyone, I would see you being upset if he accused you but he just goes through shit let him worry himself to death
Trust is the issue, and that’s is his alone to bare
Idc if my hubby goes through mine…but then again, he trusts me and I do him. We actually use 1 another’s phone from time to time. Just putting that out there…but either he is super insecure and has been cheated on…OR he is doing the cheating and is trying to find an excuse or a reason to use against u to either get out of the relationship or so he can continue to cheat!
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Ok I get your side but I also get his side. Have you guys had issues with other people? If not then boundaries are needed communication and maybe couples counseling. Just this whole story seems off like either one of you is hiding something or there is past . Good luck
Me & my boyfriend both have access to each other’s phone’s. We also have the gps on in case of any sort of emergency. Ultimately the phones are in his name so he could see everything I’m doing. I’m hiding nothing.
Uh no he broke up your family by continuing to do it after realizing you weren’t hiding anything
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Ask to see his stuff
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As someone else said in a previous comment this most likely is a root of insecurity in him from a previous relationship where he was cheated on or something that caused him to doubt himself… im the same way with my wife… i know i wont find anything i trust my wife to my core… but there is a deep root nagging… that things are too good… it takes alot to get over it.
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Only dealt with that 1 time for 11 months. He finally went off the deep end because I went to a maroon5 concert and posted to my fb. He literally was like you’re choosing him over me. After I was done dying from laughter I was like you’re really asking if I am choosing adam Levine over you. What is wrong with ppl. Def needs to be an EX in that story.
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If you have nothing to hide what does it matter and I would recommend a good Counsler
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he definitely has insecurity issues and turning on your location on your phone isnt a bad idea considering the amount of people that come up missing daily. I mean if you’re not doing anything then I don’t think any of this even matters. I could care less if my husband put a tracker on my car or phone or what’s in my emails or pictures or whatever you’re not doing anything then you should be unbothered unless ???
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For all the women that say they let their husband go thru their phone or emails! Our phones are a sence of security even if they trust you why would they want to go thru your phone if they trust you! And what if you have a sister or best friend that you have private conversations with that maybe you don’t want you S.O to know just maybe how you feel or just stuff you talk girl stuff with! Guys don’t understand everything that girls talk about! I have been in a new relationship for a few months and he constantly goes thru my phone trying to catch me in something that he can never find! Sorry that’s not normal!
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Usually guilty people need to invade the privacy of the ones they love, Or he is suffering from a mental health issue and needs to stalk, and track your every move (scary!!)
Please be careful moving forward!!
If there was trust there would be no need to check phones, emails, numbers. That truly is a huge breech of privacy I hope the two of you are able to work past this in a healthy way!
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Going through your phone because of his own insecurities and trust issues is one thing. But what you’ve described is stalking and obsession. And I’d be very concerned. Girl I spend way to much time watching the I.D. channel to just ignore those red flags. 
💁
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I can understand why you’re upset. I would be too to some degree. My husband and I have no secrets and trust each other completely which gives nither of us reason to question the other or go through their personal things such as phones or computers. If you feel you need to check up on someone like that then I feel you don’t have any business being together. Trust is key in marriage. You need to really sit down and consider all your options and figure out if this is something you can get past and work through. Your marriage will never be the same even if you do forgive. Best of luck to you!
Sounds like he is insecure and could use some help.
What are some ways to seeking help?
I admit I go through my s/o phone, email, messenger and FB. He has just as much access to my accounts as I do him. We are now have a very open about things. But it wasn’t always like that. Almost 7 months into the relationship I discovered that the reason he had his phone on lock down was because he was sexting other women while he was accusing me of cheating and whatever else. He has 2 phones and so do I. I check both of them, he knows I do. He also knows that i don’t have a problem with him going through either of my phone’s. Some times I think it’s just curiosity while other times I think it’s to put our unease and insecurities to rest.
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Insecurity is real! It doesn’t mean he is cheating and may not necessarily even mean he doesn’t trust you. Maybe in some small part of his brain he needs confirmation that his trust in you was deserved! Has he been hurt before? Have you? I think this is an overreaction on both your parts. If him going through your phone seriously bothers you, maybe you should both get counseling to see how you can get past it.
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He doesn’t trust you
He’s just really insecure. If you can’t move on from this and pretend like nothing happened then why are you still trying to hang on because your husband OBVIOUSLY doesn’t trust you. And just because y’all are married DOES NOT mean you don’t have the right to your OWN privacy.
He needs to act like a grown ass man and stop acting like he’s an insecure teenager who has something to hide
i also have never had a reason to lock my phone, he does. He claims it came that way, Im not stupic. But I will admit to looking through his while hes driving and asks me to answer his. Only out of simple curiosity
I’m not seeing the problem of him going threw your phone or computer. My husband and I even swap phones. I think the question should be why you don’t want him doing it?. Sounds like he might be insucure, maybe a past relationship did that to him or maybe he is insucure about him self in general.
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Nothing wrong with that. Move on. He needs it for his trust issues, if that’s helps him let him do it. Unless there’s smth to hide.
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Listen, this doesn’t mean he’s cheating, regardless of some of these comments. Maybe you said something without even realizing that triggered something in his brain, who knows. He’s a man and God only knows what goes thru their minds. If neither of you are doing anything wrong then really, who cares
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Amazing the things women will let men get away with. The point is he INVADED her PRIVACY for YEARS finding nothing, to what end? He is DISRESPECTFUL, PARANOID, INSECURE & potentially DANGEROUS if his OBSESSION escalates. He is not sorry or remorseful. He needs therapy to find out WHY he has the COMPULSION to spy so DEEPLY. Especially since he has NEVER found ANYTHING. She shouldn’t have to continue to tolerate his dishonesty and unwarranted suspicions. Women can be naïve and too forgiving for their own safety or good.
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Sounds like he’s guilty of something himself…
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Agree with many others unfortunately. He could even be searching keywords that he knew were in his own illicit messages, trying to determine whether she had caught him and emailed copies to herself, or if she had discussed it with others via message; Same with the GPS: he could be tracking her to know where she is so he can sneak around.
(Yes, I realize that sounds a little crazy, but when you’ve dealt with far crazier stuff from a true narcissist, you realize just how deep and twisted their motives are! Hopefully this is not the case, but it would be hard for me to discount it as a potential reason).
Even if he hasn’t been unfaithful, he has still violated OP’s trust in a prolonged, sneaky manner. She has every right to be shaken and uncertain.
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I’d ask him what he thinks he is going to find, and how helpful does he think it is for you to feel like he has to snoop around and be sneaky about it instead of just talking to you. If I want to see my partners phone I ask. None of this tracking locations/waking up early to get into it/sneaking around kind of behavior. If hes been basically stalking you for years and he hasn’t found anything yet, would it be worse on him to stop or worse on you knowing that hes going to keep doing that instead of being honest with you?
I would have no problem handling my phone over to my boyfriend, but at the same time if he turned on my tracker and keywords and searched through everything, I would have a problem. That is to much, I would feel so violated, even with nothing to hide everyone deserves to have things to themselves that they don’t share with anyone. I kept a journal on my phone for years and I’m sorry I would not want ANYONE to see my private thoughts, I may have felt that way in that moment, knowing it wouldn’t last long, but that’s still mine. EVERYONE deserves to have some amount of privacy and respect. I would also feel disrespected, that is controlling and scary if you ask me.
Wouldn’t matter to me personally, I know I’m not doing anything
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I’ve no idea, where to begin!! Why is he searching your messages?? You say he has no reason to be suspicious, but I find this sort of activity disturbing!!
I’d recommend couples counseling… He obviously has some trust issues that he needs to work through and a professional could help.
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Wait… but weren’t people just praising a female for finding out her partner was cheating by doing this to her male partner?
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Why is that even a big deal? Like honestly? If you have nothing to hide why does it matter? He is probably insecure and just needs reassurance. I don’t care if my man goes through my phone, even if it were from years ago you sound more like a teenage who has something to hide
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Tracking of your phone does have to be manually turned on.
Your husband needs to go to counseling, this is not normal behavior and is a huge violation of privacy. He hid it and lied about it because he knew it was wrong. You don’t deserve to be treated this way but maybe you two will be able to work it out if he is willing to get help.
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He has MAJOR trust issues & he needs some serious counseling.
Why is this a big deal!? Lol 
you’re fucking married. He has done absolutely no harm to you at all. You’re blowing this wayyyyyyy out of proportion.
If you didn’t do anything wrong then why are you making such a big deal out of it. Sorry but your being overdramatic.
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If you have nothing to hide what’s the issue? It’s not even that serious. Most phones come with the location already on and it can accidentally be turned on in you’re pocket
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I don’t think it’s really worth breaking up a marriage over but I can also see why you’d be upset, & just because you’re upset doesn’t mean it’s because you’re really hiding something, it has to do with privacy & respect. If he asked you first, it wouldn’t be that bad, but as long it’s not another guy you’re talking, he shouldn’t need to read your messages between you & friends or family. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still have your own privacy. Start going thru his things, & see what kinda reaction he gives you.
I mean, its not something to break your family up over. But I would be concerned about why hes so snoopy. Has he done things that needed to be hidden and he’s projecting that on to you? Is he really insecure and harbors secret anxiety that you’re not happy or would step out on him? There has to be a reason. You couldnt pay me to get up out of bed in the middle of the night and search through my partners phone, unless I was positive there was something there that shouldnt be.
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Sounds like he is scared because maybe he has done something just saying
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Idk if it’s me but I do that with my husband 
I didn’t know it was a bad thing he just thinks I’m super jealous but I know he doesn’t have anything to hide so
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He’s either extremely insecure or he’s guilty and taking it out on you. I’d go through his phone randomly just to be on the safe side But that’s just me
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Start having him read your messages outloud when they come in and you are too busy to look. Works wonders for each other
The amount of lack of understanding boundaries and thinking you have no right to privacy because you’re married is astounding.
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People on here have double standards. Try couples counseling. I get that you two are a couple, but there is also need for SOME privacy and personal space. Jesus. That’s not healthy for him… or for anyone for that matter. Tell the counselor what happens and what had happened
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If you intend on staying with him and rebuilding the relationship, then you have to find the core of his mistrust. He can try to normalize it and declare his own innocence, but if you need someone to always be with you, to always know where they are (for reasons other than safety), and need to know every conversation they have in their life, then you don’t trust them. Your life is not a reality show, so if he’s doing this for entertainment, it needs to stop.
You have every right to be upset about this. As far as I’m concerned, there is very little “privacy” inside a genuine, healthy marriage. Personal conversations with other people and undisclosed events of your life prior to meeting are those privacy lines. By doing what he’s doing, he’s not only showing that he doesn’t trust you, but that he doesn’t respect you and that he doesn’t value you as an equal. That’s a lot to unpack and he’s going to have to man up and sit down with you and a counselor if he wants to undo the damage he’s done and prevent the marriage from unraveling.
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If u don’t have anything to hide, continue letting him look like an insecure idiot🤷♀️
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And for any lady on here who thinks its funny or does the same to their spouse. Thats not healthy. It isn’t. It also isn’t cute. Stop that.
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